# I Pit Penis Posts **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 31, 2004, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390 "2004-08-31T08:08:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/1 "2004-08-31T08:08:04Z")
They’re popping up everywhere, and even if they start out with some point, they quickly lose their shape. No amount of dope is going to straighten them. They’re not uplifting and they objectify men willy-nilly. There’s also the very real danger that they’re going to polarise dopers, or nonpolarise tham as the case may be. Can we just cut them out? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/2 "2004-08-31T08:10:23Z")
Mine’s bigger. ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/3 "2004-08-31T08:15:36Z")
If I were truly clever, I would post the ‘penis bird’. Alas… ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/4 "2004-08-31T08:17:18Z")
Look, **friedo** , pal, they’re are plenty of threads where you can indulge your juvenile John Holmes fantasies, but this ain’t one of them. Geddit? ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/5 "2004-08-31T08:25:25Z")
Heh 😃 I hear you **Roger** I noticed the trend myself. I’ve been playing with the idea of posting a thread on the subject myself. I think I’ll pass though. It would’ve been about having too much down there though. You know what a pain (ouch) it can be trying to sit comfortably or wear tight fitting shorts, drawers, jeans etc. when you’ve got a couple of racquetballs and a large sausage between your thighs. A damned double handful of very sensitive flesh that’s always in the way. You little guys are lucky and don’t even realize it. It’s even worse when you’ve gone for too long without any real sex. Oh it’s just painful… oh well, we all have something to bitch about I guess. Anyone ever get a reduction on one of these things? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/6 "2004-08-31T08:27:10Z")
Look, friedo, pal, they’re are plenty of threads where you can indulge your juvenile John Holmes fantasies, but this ain’t one of them. Geddit sorry it won’t happen again ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/7 "2004-08-31T09:38:57Z")
Look, friedo, pal, they’re are plenty of threads where you can indulge your juvenile John Holmes fantasies, but this ain’t one of them. Geddit? …and mine bends a bit to the left. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/8 "2004-08-31T10:59:14Z")
I’m disappointed in you, **tee-keela**. First, you make as if you’re on board with your: > [@t-keela](#): > > Heh 😃 I hear you **Roger** and your: > [@t-keela](#): > > I noticed the trend myself. I’ve been playing with the idea of posting a thread on the subject myself. and then you prove just how disingenuous you are with your ‘sausage’ gag: > [@t-keela](#): > > You know what a pain (ouch) it can be trying to sit comfortably or wear tight fitting shorts, drawers, jeans etc. when you’ve got a couple of racquetballs and a large sausage between your thighs. not to forget the ‘racquetballs’. This is not the place for bicycle shed humour and juvenile wordplay. We have plenty of other schlong, dong, tool, pecker, todge and lovemuscle threads. I would be most grateful if posters could refrain from such titillation and concentrate on the matter in hand, namely, the need to raise the tone of this board. It’s not a big ask. Let’s pull together on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/9 "2004-08-31T11:10:07Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > We have plenty of other schlong, dong, tool, pecker, todge and lovemuscle threads. Try saying “pecker thread” three times fast. Go ahead, _try_. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I knew you couldn’t do it! ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/10 "2004-08-31T11:29:06Z")
I didn’t know that bicycle sheds were such dens of iniquitous humor. **roger** , are you like the Christian right of the board or something? Don’t open the fricking thread and let message board Darwinism determine the it’s fate. Who are you to determine what is and isn’t appropriate for this board? You sound like a prig. Let’s raise the tone of the board and stop bitching about other posts. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/11 "2004-08-31T11:58:57Z")
How long until **nonpolar** shows up? ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/12 "2004-08-31T12:31:57Z")
> [@KidCharlemagne](#): > > I didn’t know that bicycle sheds were such dens of iniquitous humor. **roger** , are you like the Christian right of the board or something? Don’t open the fricking thread and let message board Darwinism determine the it’s fate. Who are you to determine what is and isn’t appropriate for this board? You sound like a prig. Let’s raise the tone of the board and stop bitching about other posts. Hear, hear. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/13 "2004-08-31T12:34:44Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > I’m disappointed in you, **tee-keela**. First, you make as if you’re on board with your: > > and your: > > and then you prove just how disingenuous you are with your ‘sausage’ gag: > > not to forget the ‘racquetballs’. > > This is not the place for bicycle shed humour and juvenile wordplay. We have plenty of other schlong, dong, tool, pecker, todge and lovemuscle threads. I would be most grateful if posters could refrain from such titillation and concentrate on the matter in hand, namely, the need to raise the tone of this board. It’s not a big ask. Let’s pull together on this one. “Pull together!” Geddit? (snigger) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/14 "2004-08-31T13:05:20Z")
You said willy. ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/15 "2004-08-31T13:10:10Z")
Why do I hear Mr. T’s voice when I read the OP? [Mr. T]I Pity the Penis Post.[/Mr. T] ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/16 "2004-08-31T13:10:51Z")
Yeah. Then he “sausage” and “gag.” Uhhh hhhuhhuh huh huh hhhhuh. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/17 "2004-08-31T13:13:39Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > I’m disappointed in you, **tee-keela**. First, you make as if you’re on board with your: > > and your: > > and then you prove just how disingenuous you are with your ‘sausage’ gag: > > not to forget the ‘racquetballs’. > > This is not the place for bicycle shed humour and juvenile wordplay. We have plenty of other schlong, dong, tool, pecker, todge and lovemuscle threads. I would be most grateful if posters could refrain from such titillation and concentrate on the matter in hand, namely, the need to raise the tone of this board. It’s not a big ask. Let’s pull together on this one. Damn Rog…I apologized didn’t I? BTW, It was 3:27am my time. I’m still up and have been since hmm, waay too long now. No sleep tonight at all. Didn’t sleep the night before either. Well, I got some stuff to do anyway. It’s probably better to get started. The sun’s up again and I’ve got a water leak to fix, no water at home right now. I noticed the pressure was low last night and found the main busted. I’ll fix that right quick. Then to the court house, got property taxes to pay. Gotta go by the hospital (in Tyler) and get my wife’s medical reports. Then a few stops on the way. Then go to my parents (in a different town) and repair a leak around their chimney. After that I’ve got to replace the timing chain and gears on my truck (in Athens) and if there’s any daylight left…yeah right, sleep is for mortals. Have a good day everyone. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/18 "2004-08-31T13:31:37Z")
> [@jesuslynch](#): > > Why do I hear Mr. T’s voice when I read the OP? > > [Mr. T]I Pity the Penis Post.[/Mr. T] I hear the Womynists from [PCU](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110759/): _Hey, Hey! Ho, Ho! This penis party’s got to go! Hey, Hey! Ho, Ho! …_ ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/19 "2004-08-31T13:52:06Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > “Pull together!” Geddit? (snigger) Look, mate, this is no piss take. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390/20 "2004-08-31T22:34:38Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > Try saying “pecker thread” three times fast. > > Go ahead, _try_. > > BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I knew you couldn’t do it! Actually, I _could_ do it. Easily. Ten times fast, even. What I _couldn’t_ do is explain what the hell I was doing to the curious co-workers who came to visit on hearing such a weirdly profane invocation floating out of my office. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-penis-posts/262390.md?page=2)