# I pit people that accuse me of being "negative." **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 23, 2013, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006 "2013-12-23T09:44:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/61 "2013-12-24T07:20:19Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me. _notices username_ _Bitch_. [Moderating] Saying “Fuck you” to other posters is a violation of the Pit’s language rules. Please avoid this in the future. No warning issued. [/Moderating] ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/62 "2013-12-24T07:42:34Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Life ain’t peaches and cream, but sometimes it’s laughing your ass off when you have no ass. Stolen! ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/63 "2013-12-26T08:12:48Z")
> [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > Jesse, jesse … again with the negativity? While its ever so cute when youre young to pitch a bitch and pout when youre having a PMS moment, when you get old and sour life will REALLY pass you by if you keep it up. So try to at least be neutral so that people dont avoid you like the plague. Youre digging a hole you cant get out of. You need help. > > [johnplaceonline.com](http://www.johnplaceonline.com/achieve-balance/12-ways-to-boost-your-positive-energy/) If that means “go back to therapy,” then fuck off. I’ve tried therapy countless times and it doesn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/64 "2013-12-26T08:13:57Z")
> [@brainstall](#): > > And that charming and delightful attitude is why women flock to you. We love realists. We get all hot and bothered with your bad boy, nobody loves me, y’all can just fuck off, ray of sunshine personality. Well, women don’t give me the time of day regardless of what I do, so… ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/65 "2013-12-26T08:15:10Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > While we’re on the subject of being realistic, you’re also really fucking boring. Staying on that subject, you’re a complete retard. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/66 "2013-12-26T08:18:36Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I think I’ve somehow been lucky enough not to see this poster before, but maybe I’ve just forgotten. > > I’ve, literally, honestly and truly with no hyperbole or artistic license, got a patient with brain cancer who is less negative then you, Jesse my dear. Last week they found 14 lesions in her brain, thanks to the cancer that was in and around her lungs that’s decided to take a little trip. She has no butthole, because the cancer ate her ass and it had to be surgically removed, so now she poops into a bag on her belly. The cancer’s pressing on some nerve somewhere, or something, so that she has excruciating pain every day, even on maxed out doses of morphine and fentanyl. She’s down to 90 pounds and losing about 2 more every week. There’s not a fucking thing I or any of her doctors can do about it, except let her talk to me about it for a couple of hours a week. > > Tomorrow’s her birthday. I’m going to bring her the last birthday cake she’ll ever have, because she doesn’t have any family in town to bring her one, and I can’t stand the fucking thought of her not having cake on her last birthday. > > And you know what? We’re going to laugh our asses off (well, I’ll laugh mine off, hers is already gone. She’ll laugh something else off) for almost the whole time I’m there. Because that’s what we do. We laugh. She laughs. She cracks jokes until we cry tears of laughter. Dirty jokes, blasphemous jokes, pissed-off-at-the-universe jokes… > > Life ain’t peaches and cream, but sometimes it’s laughing your ass off when you have no ass. So? I bet she’s had an SO before. I’d gladly experience that at the end of my life if that meant finally someone will give a shit about me. But see, no one ever will. So since there’s no upside, I’ll continue to be realistic and see “having no ass with brain cancer to boot” as the shitty thing that it is. I’d ask the nurse to strangle me with a pillow every day if I were her. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/67 "2013-12-26T08:22:06Z")
> [@simster](#): > > it’s not an accusation - its an observation - one that you continue to provide evidence for with every post you make. > > Unless I missed it - you have yet to bring one positive thing to this board, and I, for one, wish you would find another bridge to crawl under. Of course you missed it! Implying otherwise word suggest you had some actual intelligence. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/68 "2013-12-26T08:32:52Z")
Practical answer: move to Thailand. not. only will the sun do you good, but Thai women are kind of professional when it comes to loving (to them) rich foreign farangs. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/69 "2013-12-26T08:37:41Z")
ETA: I don’t mean prostitutes. I mean relationships. I know firsthand three men who are in long term relationships with Thai women in Thailand. The women are clearly in it for the money, yet they also care about the men. Similar to how we might feel about our jobs, I suppose. The men I know don’t feel ripped off. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/70 "2013-12-26T09:54:56Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > ETA: I don’t mean prostitutes. I mean relationships. I know firsthand three men who are in long term relationships with Thai women in Thailand. The women are clearly in it for the money, yet they also care about the men. Similar to how we might feel about our jobs, I suppose. The men I know don’t feel ripped off. Nah, I’d probably find a way to screw that up as well. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/71 "2013-12-26T10:43:25Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Well, it started in the crapper so there’s no way to go but up! Do you want to think about the basic layout of a crapper then try another analogy?😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/72 "2013-12-26T10:48:17Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Do you want to think about the basic layout of a crapper then try another analogy?😉 Considering this is me we’re talking about, I’d say the analogy is quite fitting. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/73 "2013-12-26T10:57:28Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > Well, women don’t give me the time of day regardless of what I do, so… Then buy a watch. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/74 "2013-12-26T11:40:18Z")
> **[Avoidant personality disorder](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder)** > > Avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), or anxious personality disorder, is a cluster C personality disorder characterized by excessive social anxiety and inhibition, fear of intimacy (despite an intense desire for it), severe feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, and an overreliance on avoidance of feared stimuli (e.g., self-imposed social isolation) as a maladaptive coping method. Those affected typically display a pattern of extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation and rejection, a belief > [@](#): > > The World Health Organization’s ICD-10 lists avoidant personality disorder as (F60.6) anxious (avoidant) personality disorder.[1] It is characterized by at least four of the following:[26] > > ``` > -persistent and pervasive feelings of tension and apprehension; > -belief that one is socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others; > -excessive preoccupation with being criticized or rejected in social situations; > -unwillingness to become involved with people unless certain of being liked; > -restrictions in lifestyle because of need to have physical security; > -avoidance of social or occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact because of fear of criticism, disapproval, or rejection. > > Associated features may include hypersensitivity to rejection and criticism. > > ``` ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/75 "2013-12-26T12:01:05Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > So? I bet she’s had an SO before. I’d gladly experience that at the end of my life if that meant finally someone will give a shit about me. > > But see, no one ever will. So since there’s no upside, I’ll continue to be realistic and see “having no ass with brain cancer to boot” as the shitty thing that it is. I’d ask the nurse to strangle me with a pillow every day if I were her. :dubious: Can you let us know when you _ **do** _ start being negative? A little warning before a proton storm renders the Earth lifeless would be nice. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/76 "2013-12-26T12:13:04Z")
Okay, Jesse … I’m going to give this a shot even though I know that all I say is going got fall on deaf ears and that you’ll find a way to disregard everything I say, but just to say that we tried, here we go. I used to be the same way that you are now. On this board. Boo hoo. Nobody loves me. My life sucks. Can’t get laid. Woe is me. Gonna go eat some worms. Well, it got to the point that I’m sure nobody wanted to hear the whining anymore. Any whining you do is just self serving. It’s certainly not helping anybody else, and it may make you feel a little better for the moment, but in the long run it’s not helping. Because what I really wanted wasn’t help, but sympathy. I was a sympathy junkie. And it worked for a while. But eventually people’s available store of sympathy that they can give to any one person runs out and they can’t give it to you anymore. And then you can’t get your fix anymore. But here’s the deal, and here’s what I learned. You cannot expect anybody else to flip a switch on the back of your neck and make things better for you. No body can, and nobody will do it for you, especially for someone who they do not perceive as worthwhile. And this may be harsh, but if you don’t perceive yourself as worthwhile, chances are no one else will either. You have to take ownership of your happiness and not depend on someone else to give it to you. And the toughest part of doing this is initially deciding that you want to do it. That you want to break out of the cycle. That you want something better. I don’t see you in that situation yet. I see you as someone in the whining/sympathy cycle and yes, that can be tough to break out of. You want to trade stories? I’ve been through things that would have your hair turn phosphorus. Some I’ve shared on the board here, some I have not. But I learned that no matter what life threw at me, the only person who was responsible for how I dealt with it was me. I had to pull myself up, knowing that a crappy attitude was not going to ever make anything better for me, and press on. But here’s the main point. Nobody can do that but you. No one. But once you decide to try to turn things around, you’ll find more support for trying to make positive changes in your life, and not whining when maybe they don’t pan out as well as you may have liked, then with just complaining about how crappy your life is. It takes time, yes. It won’t happen overnight. No worthwhile change ever does. But if you honestly decide to make those changes, the changes will come. But no one can do this but you. _Wishing won’t make it so Hoping won’t do it Praying won’t do it Religion won’t do it Philosophy won’t do it The supreme court won’t do it The president and the congress won’t do it The UN won’t do it The h-bomb won’t do it The sun and the moon won’t do it And God won’t do it And I certainly won’t do it That leaves you You’ll have to do it._ So, go do it. (Italicized portion from “Fair Warning” by Todd Rundgren) ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/77 "2013-12-26T14:29:56Z")
[**mookieblaylock?** Is that you?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=597917) **mookie** got banned for posting nothing but self-pitying wankfests. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/78 "2013-12-26T14:50:09Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > Of course you missed it! Implying otherwise word suggest you had some actual intelligence. You’re just trolling for a fight - because you’re response makes absolutely no sense - so - crawl back under your bridge. ---
**Author:** ![iftheresaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecae2f/32.png) [@iftheresaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iftheresaway)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/79 "2013-12-26T14:57:43Z")
> [@Eutychus](#): > > Then buy a watch. Don’t you understand?! He’s tried watches. They don’t work. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006/80 "2013-12-26T15:01:20Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > So? I bet she’s had an SO before. I’d gladly experience that at the end of my life if that meant finally someone will give a shit about me. > > But see, no one ever will. So since there’s no upside, I’ll continue to be realistic and see “having no ass with brain cancer to boot” as the shitty thing that it is. I’d ask the nurse to strangle me with a pillow every day if I were her. Yeah, I have no idea why women you meet don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who is quite clearly viewing them as an item to tick off the List of Things to Accomplish. Things aren’t gonna change for you until you somehow manage to realize how disgustingly self-absorbed and selfish you are. I mean, Jesus Christ, you just read a post about a terminal cancer patient in excruciating pain who will die with no family/loved ones around her … And your response was ‘big deal. I bet she’s had a boy/girlfriend before!’ Pretend that you just read that exchange between two strangers instead of you being a part of that exchange. If you can’t see how absolutely, absurdly, _legitimately offensive and narcissistic_ your reply was… Well, I won’t be surprised, but I will roll my eyes in disgust. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-accuse-me-of-being-negative/677006.md?page=5)