# I pit people that just don't listen. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 18, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183 "2013-11-18T16:27:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/21 "2013-11-18T18:59:59Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > These are my parents though, I should just cut off contact with them over this? over what? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/22 "2013-11-18T19:24:20Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > These are my parents though, I should just cut off contact with them over this? You should probably start by limiting or reducing contact and making them aware that you are feeling unhappy that they don’t respect you enough to listen to what you say. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/23 "2013-11-18T19:32:38Z")
> [@simster](#): > > over what? _snerk_ ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/24 "2013-11-18T19:42:29Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > That’s what I’ve always figured, which is total crap because they always rant and rave about how I’m “smarter” and “brighter” than they are. Then why don’t they show me that they feel that way and listen to what I have to say? Are you sure that telling you that you are smarter and brighter wasn’t their way of saying “Bless you heart” to you? Cause that’s what I would say to someone who actually counted AND did the math. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/25 "2013-11-18T19:45:22Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > That’s what I’ve always figured, which is total crap because they always rant and rave about how I’m “smarter” and “brighter” than they are. Then why don’t they show me that they feel that way and listen to what I have to say? Honest answer? They’re stroking your ego. They ask you the same questions because those are the ones you seem to know the answer to - trust me, they don’t really care how the fucking phone works. Be glad your parents are around to annoy you - one day they won’t be. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/26 "2013-11-18T20:02:30Z")
Hey kid, get off my LAN! ---
**Author:** ![drew870mitchell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drew870mitchell/32/3946_2.png) [@drew870mitchell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drew870mitchell)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/27 "2013-11-18T20:10:56Z")
> [@simster](#): > > Honest answer? They’re stroking your ego. They ask you the same questions because those are the ones you seem to know the answer to - trust me, they don’t really care how the fucking phone works. > > **Be glad your parents are around to annoy you - one day they won’t be.** I see one of OP’s parents found his way into the thread. ---
**Author:** ![yawuntz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a5b964/32.png) [@yawuntz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yawuntz)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/28 "2013-11-18T20:12:04Z")
If they don’t get it the first time - too bad. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/29 "2013-11-18T20:19:31Z")
You have my sympathy, Jesse. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/30 "2013-11-18T20:20:25Z")
> [@drew870mitchell](#): > > I see one of OP’s parents found his way into the thread. fuck that - i’d have done thrown that punk out on his ass… of course, I’d never be able to get the dvr to work again, but thems the breaks. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/31 "2013-11-18T20:21:16Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > That doesn’t work with my parents. Otherwise, you have a point. > > I actually brought it up to them once that the fact that I have to repeat everything I tell them is making me not want to talk to them. They proceeded to scream at me for ten minutes like I’m the asshole for bringing it up. This is because you are an asshole for bringing it up. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/32 "2013-11-18T20:22:22Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > This is because you are an asshole for bringing it up. that bears repeating - ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/33 "2013-11-18T20:38:47Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > This is because you are an asshole for bringing it up. Please explain why. I’m torn on this one, mostly because we are only getting one side of the story, and the OP sounds a bit trivial and whiny. But if the parents’ behavior as described is real and constant, it sounds toxic to me. I am especially disturbed by the references to “screaming” and “screamed bloody murder.” If this is not hyperbole, I wouldn’t spend another minute in their presence. That is just not acceptable civilized behavior between adults. OP, how old are you, how old are they, and are you beholden to them for anything other than being your parents? That is, do you owe them money, do they help support you in any way, etc.? I ask because parents don’t own you, and you don’t owe them your continued contact if they are verbally abusive. Not respecting you enough to listen to answers to questions that they ask is one thing. Actually screaming at you for extended periods for pointing it out is something else entirely. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/34 "2013-11-18T20:42:13Z")
There are a couple people in my life in which I don’t listen too them because they are always jabbering about inane things. They complain that they have to repeat things to me several times to get my attention. When this happens, it is still 90% of the time inane which just makes it worse for them to get my attention in the future. Make sure you aren’t like them before you cast blame on others 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/35 "2013-11-18T20:48:07Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Whenever they ask you a question, write the answer down and safety-pin it to their shirt. > [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > I tried writing it down once after they asked a question for the eighth time that day. They screamed bloody murder at me for being a “smartass.” In spite of their over-reacting, I think writing it down is the best way to go, too. Nobody deserves the same question answered six or eight times; after two times, I’d write it down, give it to them, and leave. Ain’t nobody got time for _that_! And keep doing that, until they get the message that they need to actually _listen_ to you. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/36 "2013-11-18T21:02:17Z")
> [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > There are a couple people in my life in which I don’t listen too them because they are always jabbering about inane things. They complain that they have to repeat things to me several times to get my attention. When this happens, it is still 90% of the time inane which just makes it worse for them to get my attention in the future. > > Make sure you aren’t like them before you cast blame on others 🙂 It isn’t. I don’t jabber at insane things. They’re the ones asking the questions, if they aren’t going to listen then why ask in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/37 "2013-11-18T21:03:55Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > This is because you are an asshole for bringing it up. If wanting to be listened to makes me an asshole, then color me proud to be an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/38 "2013-11-18T21:08:42Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > In spite of their over-reacting, I think writing it down is the best way to go, too. Nobody deserves the same question answered six or eight times; after two times, I’d write it down, give it to them, and leave. Ain’t nobody got time for _that_! > > And keep doing that, until they get the message that they need to actually _listen_ to you. Yeah, sounds like that’s what I’ll do. I’m 26, I don’t live with them anymore and I don’t rely on them for anything. That being said, when I moved home after college and was on the job search, I felt like a parrot with the amount of times I was repeating simple concepts for them. I don’t have this problem with anyone else, and I’ve listened to them converse with my sister and many, many others and they never seem to have trouble listening to them. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/39 "2013-11-18T21:13:23Z")
> [@simster](#): > > Honest answer? They’re stroking your ego. They ask you the same questions because those are the ones you seem to know the answer to - trust me, they don’t really care how the fucking phone works. > > Be glad your parents are around to annoy you - one day they won’t be. This isn’t limited to technology or something they never understood before. It’s every type of question in general. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/40 "2013-11-18T21:26:55Z")
Start giving nonsensical answers after the second time they ask a question. Do it in a casual tone. See if they’re actually listening or not. I guarantee that at some point you’ll get their attention. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183.md?page=3)