# I pit people that just don't listen. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 18, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183 "2013-11-18T16:27:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/61 "2013-11-19T13:55:32Z")
Are your parents real old? I’ve noticed that you’ve been asked this and you haven’t mentioned your age or theirs. Or maybe you have six or seven times and I wasn’t paying attention. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/62 "2013-11-19T15:21:09Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Good! And you’ll also feel better if you can admit that people aren’t going to think something’s important just because it’s important to you. > > It’d be great if they did, but… they won’t. We’re all different people, and if my Mom was going on and on about her crocheting, or the church Prayer Quilt group, I might not listen. The same way I can guarantee that she won’t remember when I tell her my computer problems. > > Or any of my problems, really… …I’ve said multiple times this is concerning the answers to questions they asked me, not about them remembering me rambling about my problems. I’m really starting to question the literacy of Dopers. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/63 "2013-11-19T15:22:09Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Are your parents real old? I’ve noticed that you’ve been asked this and you haven’t mentioned your age or theirs. > > Or maybe you have six or seven times and I wasn’t paying attention. My dad is 56, mom is 57. However, this has been a problem for as long as I can remember. I’m 26. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/64 "2013-11-19T15:35:41Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > …I’ve said multiple times this is concerning the answers to questions they asked me, not about them remembering me rambling about my problems. I’m really starting to question the literacy of Dopers. This is a discussion forum - folks will talk about thier similar experiences. Its not all about you. Or haven’t you been listening? ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/65 "2013-11-19T15:41:50Z")
> [@simster](#): > > This is a discussion forum - folks will talk about thier similar experiences. > > Its not all about you. > > Or haven’t you been listening? I have. I was referring to “Good! And you’ll also feel better if you can admit that people aren’t going to think something’s important just because it’s important to you.” That post was a direct reply to my post. As I said, what I’m saying is clearly important to them since they’re the one who asked the question (over and over and over again). ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/66 "2013-11-19T17:57:09Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Mom / dad, I have told you this now three times. I’m not being a smartass, but if you really aren’t hearing, or understanding me or remembering, we need to talk to your doctor. If you are just ignoring me, then I’ve got better things to do with my time. Either way, I am not repeating it for a fourth time. > > Lather, rinse, repeat. > > They go ballistic? Mom / dad, I will be back to visit when you can calm down and be reasonable. > > Don’t play the game. Disengage and stop letting it be personal. I just thought I’d repeat this. Not because you didn’t hear it the first time, but because it’s the best advice in the thread. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/67 "2013-11-19T18:12:11Z")
I nearly reached through the phone and strangled my mother over a similar issue a few weeks ago. I’m having some issues that got me referred to a pelvic surgeon, and he set me up for some further testing to get a fuller picture before he formulates any plans. A full week and a half before those tests, I’m discussing the issue with Mom. When am I having surgery? Don’t know, they haven’t even got the tests done to figure out if I need to see another doctor first or not. Well, what exactly are they planning to do? Don’t know, that’ll depend on what the tests show and if we have to get a different doctor involved. Well, is this going to be outpatient, or am I going to be in the hospital for a few days? That depends on what exactly they wind up doing, which will depend on what the tests show. Will this impact me being able to come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas? **Pulls out gun, shoots self in head.** Good God, woman, what part of “it all depends on what the tests show” sounds like I have any concrete information about anything at all? Or were you just not listening when I told you that the first three times? ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/68 "2013-11-19T18:24:20Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > I just thought I’d repeat this. Not because you didn’t hear it the first time, but because it’s the best advice in the thread. Yes, I saw this and I’m sorry I didn’t give it the attention it deserved before. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/69 "2013-11-19T18:31:29Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > …I’ve said multiple times this is concerning the answers to questions they asked me, not about them remembering me rambling about my problems. I’m really starting to question the literacy of Dopers. A lot of us don’t have time to read every post in a multi-page thread, and just read the OP and respond to that. This can lead to repetition. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/70 "2013-11-19T18:39:24Z")
You could not visit them as often and cut down on the frequency of their rambling. Other than that it may take time to gradually convince them to pay attention. Do you know if they do this to others? Listen to how they interact with other family members. If the whole clan repeats things to each other all the time you may have to just accept that this is the way your family communicates, toughen up your hide a bit, and try to not let it bother you. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/71 "2013-11-19T18:41:47Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > I nearly reached through the phone and strangled my mother over a similar issue a few weeks ago. > > I’m having some issues that got me referred to a pelvic surgeon, and he set me up for some further testing to get a fuller picture before he formulates any plans. A full week and a half before those tests, I’m discussing the issue with Mom. When am I having surgery? Don’t know, they haven’t even got the tests done to figure out if I need to see another doctor first or not. Well, what exactly are they planning to do? Don’t know, that’ll depend on what the tests show and if we have to get a different doctor involved. Well, is this going to be outpatient, or am I going to be in the hospital for a few days? That depends on what exactly they wind up doing, which will depend on what the tests show. Will this impact me being able to come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas? **Pulls out gun, shoots self in head.** > > Good God, woman, what part of “it all depends on what the tests show” sounds like I have any concrete information about anything at all? Or were you just not listening when I told you that the first three times? And then people wonder why I snap. I HATE repeating myself for some reason. I understand this is my problem and I work hard on myself to be polite and sweet - twice, maybe three times. What I hate is this. I’m going to use you as an example, CCL! Me:“CrazyCatLady!” You: “Yes?” Me: “DO you think that \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_?” (whatever my question is? You: “Oh, yes, definitely.” Two minutes later. “Wait, what did you say?” DISRESPECT! You just pretended to listen so I would shut up and go away! AAAARGH! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/72 "2013-11-19T19:02:41Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > A lot of us don’t have time to read every post in a multi-page thread, and just read the OP and respond to that. This can lead to repetition. And if you want to give people who do this both barrels, feel free, **Jesse** , since it’s really rude. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/73 "2013-11-19T19:36:37Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > I nearly reached through the phone and strangled my mother over a similar issue a few weeks ago. > > I’m having some issues that got me referred to a pelvic surgeon, and he set me up for some further testing to get a fuller picture before he formulates any plans. A full week and a half before those tests, I’m discussing the issue with Mom. When am I having surgery? Don’t know, they haven’t even got the tests done to figure out if I need to see another doctor first or not. Well, what exactly are they planning to do? Don’t know, that’ll depend on what the tests show and if we have to get a different doctor involved. Well, is this going to be outpatient, or am I going to be in the hospital for a few days? That depends on what exactly they wind up doing, which will depend on what the tests show. Will this impact me being able to come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas? **Pulls out gun, shoots self in head.** > > Good God, woman, what part of “it all depends on what the tests show” sounds like I have any concrete information about anything at all? Or were you just not listening when I told you that the first three times? Oh dear god, I can’t stand that. Dad: “What time is the meeting over?” Me: “I’m not sure.” Dad: “8? 9?” Well if I thought it was at 8 or 9, I would have said 8 or 9 when you asked me what time the meeting was over. Dad: “Does the apartment you’re looking at have laundry in the building?” Me: “I don’t know Dad, I’ll look into it.” Dad: “Well, how are you going to clean your dirty clothes?” Me: _pounds head into wall_ ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/74 "2013-11-19T19:59:04Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > Oh dear god, I can’t stand that. > > Dad: “What time is the meeting over?” > Me: “I’m not sure.” > Dad: “8? 9?” > Well if I thought it was at 8 or 9, I would have said 8 or 9 when you asked me what time the meeting was over. > > Dad: “Does the apartment you’re looking at have laundry in the building?” > Me: “I don’t know Dad, I’ll look into it.” > Dad: “Well, how are you going to clean your dirty clothes?” > Me: _pounds head into wall_ That’s not a very efficient way to clean dirty clothes… ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/75 "2013-11-19T21:18:58Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > Oh dear god, I can’t stand that. > > Dad: “What time is the meeting over?” > Me: “I’m not sure.” > Dad: “8? 9?” > Well if I thought it was at 8 or 9, I would have said 8 or 9 when you asked me what time the meeting was over. > > Dad: “Does the apartment you’re looking at have laundry in the building?” > Me: “I don’t know Dad, I’ll look into it.” > Dad: “Well, how are you going to clean your dirty clothes?” > Me: _pounds head into wall_ Hey I think I made a breakthrough here. I speak fluent “Dad” Lets try the first section > [@](#): > > Dad: “What time is the meeting over?” > Me: “I’m not sure.” > Dad: “8? 9?” Translation - You mean you have absolutely no clue as to whether the meeting will last a few minutes or a few hours? Amazing! and the second one > [@](#): > > Dad: “Does the apartment you’re looking at have laundry in the building?” > Me: “I don’t know Dad, I’ll look into it.” > Dad: “Well, how are you going to clean your dirty clothes?” Translation - You shouldn’t even consider an apartment where you can’t wash your own clothes. If you do, don’t even think about bringing your laundry here. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/76 "2013-11-19T21:49:53Z")
I know what you mean, I hate repeating myself as well. I’ll do it two or even three times but the fourth time is it. If a person is so addle-brained that they can’t remember what I told them, it’s time to write it down. Of course, all the people I know who pull the repeated questions stunt refuse to write anything down. After all, “it’s so easy to just ask you again because you remember and you’re so fast”. Well maybe I would like to be treated as more important than functioning as a piece of notebook paper for you! I’m a human being with things to do, same as you! It really does come down to a respect issue. Unless I’m paid to, I don’t spend time with people who don’t respect me. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/77 "2013-11-19T22:12:48Z")
What’d you say, I wasn’t listening. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/78 "2013-11-20T00:48:39Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Hey I think I made a breakthrough here. I speak fluent “Dad” > Lets try the first section > Translation - You mean you have absolutely no clue as to whether the meeting will last a few minutes or a few hours? Amazing! > It was a meeting for my rugby team and we still weren’t sure if we were going to run drills and/or grab drinks after. > > and the second one > Translation - You shouldn’t even consider an apartment where you can’t wash your own clothes. If you do, don’t even think about bringing your laundry here. Ever hear of laundromats? I live in Boston, they’re everywhere. And I couldn’t bring laundry to them because they live all the way up in Maine. Even if he was trying to say those things, he should try actually saying them instead of showing that he’s not listening by asking those dumbass questions. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/79 "2013-11-20T11:39:33Z")
Lookit here son, they’re fucking with you. The fast ones go over your head. They keep chuckin’ em, you keep duckin’ em. I say, I say, you’re built too low. …Nice kid but he’s as sharp as a sack of wet mice. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183/80 "2013-11-20T13:30:48Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Lookit here son, they’re fucking with you. The fast ones go over your head. > > They keep chuckin’ em, you keep duckin’ em. I say, I say, you’re built too low. > > …Nice kid but he’s as sharp as a sack of wet mice. I love you \<3. but foghorn leghorn never said “I say, I say” twice, evidently [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-that-just-dont-listen/674183.md?page=5)