# I pit people who don't pay attention to their kids at the grocery store **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 6, 2012, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881 "2012-10-06T05:54:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![The\_Dord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@The\_Dord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Dord)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/221 "2012-10-18T00:42:32Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Do you actually think it is necessary to touch someone to help them? Sure, if you want to volunteer helping older people or want to mentor kids with musical lessons.. etc. There’s plenty more examples of where that came from, buuuut I guess you really enjoy taking a man-sized dump in innocent men’s cereal boxes as a prank while you call the cops and proceed to tell them that you were raped by them.. because to you, handshakes are rape. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/222 "2012-10-18T02:00:16Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > I resent having to listen to shrieking harpies and then having the privilege of paying for her ‘Disability Pension’ out of my weekly taxes…if only her parents had realised they had no business having her in the first place. Again, I am not at fault if the government has to rob Peter to pay Paul. I paid into SS for over 35 years, so I have a right to it. As you will when you qualify. Just because the government used the SS money for other things (war? Medicaid? WIC?) doesn’t negate the fact that I had to pay into that fund. As for shrieking harpy? Snort. Just because I don’t like listening to shrieking children doesn’t mean I’m a harpy; you just think that because you don’t agree with me, which says much more about you than me. And yes, my parents should not have had me, I believe I’ve said that before. I was born into poverty, to an abusive father that didn’t want me (or any of the kids) and a mother who lost interest in all of her kids once they were six month or so old, so never did anything about what my father did to us. And then I grew up to be me, with opinions you don’t like, yet you expect that I am to like every bratty little kid I run across? How do those two things go together? Or are you like mother, only interested in them when young? > [@](#): > > Y’see, works both ways darls…being accommodated in a glass house leaves one fewer missiles to hurl. 😃 It’s pretty sad that you think my being unable to work and us having to take a $25K reduction in annual income a “glass house”. > [@](#): > > Damn, you must be the unluckiest old broad around!! I travel public transport twice a day (45 km each way), go shopping at malls at least ONCE every two days, traverse public shopping strips five out of seven days, and I manage to mind my own business each and every time. You aren’t having things you don’t like at all thrust upon you. Today I waited for a second elevator, even tho standing for any length of time isn’t a good idea, so I wouldn’t have to ride up possibly six floors with the two herds of kids. Of the five, only two were under any control - the one that one mother was carrying and the one in the other mother’s stroller. It was kind of sad when the lady in the glasses shop across the lobby had to bring one of the kids back out and ask where his mother was. She of course wasn’t aware he was gone, much less in a place with lots of highly breakable items. I don’t care if you all want to have kids and ruin the earth and all that - I’ll be dead long before that. But I do care that you feel entitled to free educations thru college, basic staples if you are poor, tax right offs _and_ the right to turn your kids loose on the world without having to pay attention to them. > [@Zeriel](#): > > I’d say you’re an gibbering moron, then, because the staff loves my well-behaved daughter, and it’s only the few curmudgeonly idiots who think any kid in public is automatically ill-behaved who have a problem with her behavior. Wow, anyone who is hesitant to assume that your “well-behaved daughter” (wonder if she is and if so, where she learned it) that is “loved by the staff” (like anyone who has just arrived would know that) isn’t one of the kids that are left to run amok while their parents ignore them must be a gibbering moron? No, it isn’t a “few curmudgeonly idiots” who hesitate to be seated near young children these days, because - despite your lack of ability to believe it - there are many out there who will make any dining experience hell. I rather doubt that, over the whole country, that it is the majority of children that do this, but those minority of mannerless, unattended children do leave an indelible scar on the minds of those who don’t like such things. And of course, you aren’t helping any when you insist on taking your daughter to a place that should be obvious isn’t appropriate for her. > [@drewtwo99](#): > > Well, as a single guy (not married I mean) who often encounters parents with children in movie theaters, airplanes, grocery stores, and wherever else, I just want to THANK you parents for not keeping your children locked up 24/7. I enjoy seeing your kids being kids, in all manners of places public. That’s nice. Do let us know what sorts of things you don’t want to see in all manners of places public, so we can be sure to insist we have the right to have that there. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/223 "2012-10-18T02:10:13Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > And of course, you aren’t helping any when you insist on taking your daughter to a place that should be obvious isn’t appropriate for her. Right. When the kid was a year old or so and I felt she was well-behaved enough and interested in solid food enough to try a restaurant, I called up my favorite brewpub (I happen to even be a card-carrying member of their club), and said “Hey, how do you guys feel about kids?” and they responded with “Sure, we seat 'em in the louder dining room, and we have lots of crayons and coloring books and a kid’s menu.” I should have realized that’s totally obviously code for “oh fuck, another entitled asshole bringing a kid where they’re not wanted.” Especially when the everyone from the hostesses to the bartender-owner knows her by name at this point and usually come over to say hello, because she is a charming and friendly little lady of two. You are a fucking genius, sister. I bow to your superior knowledge of the situation at a restaurant that’s literally a block from my house. And for the record, she didn’t get that way from anything but unconditional love. I don’t even tell her “no” unless she’s in danger of causing physical harm to something, because a “Hey, kiddo, people are trying to talk” gets her to stop what she’s saying and shush herself, for example. It’s called parenting: I’m fucking good at it. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/224 "2012-10-18T02:13:15Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > More like the “trolls” and “people who feed them” camps. The rest of us know that when curlcoat and ZPG show up to a parenting thread, it’s time to get out of the pool. You say “feeding a troll”, I say “laying into a convenient punching bag for my own amusement”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/225 "2012-10-18T02:15:26Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > That’s nice. Do let us know what sorts of things you don’t want to see in all manners of places public, so we can be sure to insist we have the right to have that there. I honestly have no idea what this is supposed to mean. I enjoy seeing parents with their children out in public, well behaved or not. That’s all I was trying to say. I did not mean to imply that people need to come seek my permission or acceptance before doing something in public. Is that what you thought I was doing? ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/226 "2012-10-18T02:34:28Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Right. When the kid was a year old or so and I felt she was well-behaved enough and interested in solid food enough to try a restaurant, I called up my favorite brewpub Right there. Do you really feel it’s appropriate to take a year old kid (whether or not she is well-behaved is immaterial) to a pub where loud drunken men scream obscenities at football games? > [@](#): > > And for the record, she didn’t get that way from anything but unconditional love. I don’t even tell her “no” unless she’s in danger of causing physical harm to something, because a “Hey, kiddo, people are trying to talk” gets her to stop what she’s saying and shush herself, for example. It’s called parenting: I’m fucking good at it. Uh huh. :rolleyes: > [@Zeriel](#): > > You say “feeding a troll”, I say “laying into a convenient punching bag for my own amusement”. 😃 What do you think I’m doing? > [@drewtwo99](#): > > I honestly have no idea what this is supposed to mean. > > I enjoy seeing parents with their children out in public, well behaved or not. That’s all I was trying to say. > > I did not mean to imply that people need to come seek my permission or acceptance before doing something in public. > > Is that what you thought I was doing? No, what you are saying is that it doesn’t bother you to have to put up with poorly behaved kids, and you are thanking their parents for bringing them out. Knowing that there are people in this thread who hate having to put up with that. So, to be fair, we need to know what you hate to have to put up with and we’ll be sure to provide it and thank those who do. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/227 "2012-10-18T02:58:32Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Right there. Do you really feel it’s appropriate to take a year old kid (whether or not she is well-behaved is immaterial) to a pub where loud drunken men scream obscenities at football games? Did I say “obscenities”? Besides which, her first exposure to loud, drunken folks screaming at a football game was called “Thanksgiving at her great-aunt’s house”–it’s called being a normal human being from a normal rural area. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/228 "2012-10-18T03:05:55Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > No, what you are saying is that it doesn’t bother you to have to put up with poorly behaved kids, and you are thanking their parents for bringing them out. Knowing that there are people in this thread who hate having to put up with that. So, to be fair, we need to know what you hate to have to put up with and we’ll be sure to provide it and thank those who do. 😃 I honestly can’t think of anything I hate to put up with when I go out in public. I just let stuff roll right off my shoulders. Unless someone physically assaulted me or something, I can’t think of anything. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/229 "2012-10-18T05:04:12Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Did I say “obscenities”? > > Besides which, her first exposure to loud, drunken folks screaming at a football game was called “Thanksgiving at her great-aunt’s house”–it’s called being a normal human being from a normal rural area. Ah, you are a redneck. Explains it. > [@drewtwo99](#): > > I honestly can’t think of anything I hate to put up with when I go out in public. I just let stuff roll right off my shoulders. Unless someone physically assaulted me or something, I can’t think of anything. Lucky! I can’t deal with shrill noises - sirens are a part of life that I have to accept, but I do resent having to listen to screaming or whining, especially if its repeated. I’m also not real thrilled with having to replace broken flowers and pots in my front yard, or having to clean up candy wrappers and soda cans out of the boulevard, but apparently it isn’t kosher here to complain about children playing. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/230 "2012-10-18T10:09:53Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > I honestly can’t think of anything I hate to put up with when I go out in public. I just let stuff roll right off my shoulders. Unless someone physically assaulted me or something, I can’t think of anything. I find listening to people shouting into their cell phones, especially when it’s overly personal stuff I wouldn’t want to know about a family member (let alone a total stranger), highly annoying, but guess what? This is part of other human beings existing. I’m sure my habit of thinking out loud (at low-to-normal conversational volume) irritates some around me. If you cannot cope with the existence of other human beings who aren’t exactly like you, you maybe shouldn’t be a part of society. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/231 "2012-10-18T12:15:08Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > I can’t deal with shrill noises Not for the first time, I wonder how you manage to live with yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/232 "2012-10-18T14:09:21Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Ah, you are a redneck. Explains it. Well, I’d rather be a redneck than a bitter, misanthropic parasite on the system that hates it so much I have to pretend I’m the only deserving asshole on welfare in the world, so there you have it. > [@](#): > > Lucky! I can’t deal with shrill noises - sirens are a part of life that I have to accept, but I do resent having to listen to screaming or whining, especially if its repeated. I’m also not real thrilled with having to replace broken flowers and pots in my front yard, or having to clean up candy wrappers and soda cans out of the boulevard, but apparently it isn’t kosher here to complain about children playing. If your attitude as displayed on the Dope is similar to how you act in real life, I’d instruct my daughter that your yard was fair game for pranks, petty vandalism, and loudness from the city-owned sidewalk. Must be that inner redneck of mine, it’s so hard to control, y’all. The preceding was what we normal humans call a “joke”. If your attitude as displayed on the Dope is similar to how you act in real life, I’d expect that you are the bitchy, stupid lady who screams from her front porch at kids walking by talking at a normal volume, and blames any wind damage or random acts of stray dog on deliberate acts by neighborhood children. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/233 "2012-10-18T14:57:36Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Right there. Do you really feel it’s appropriate to take a year old kid (whether or not she is well-behaved is immaterial) to a pub where loud drunken men scream obscenities at football games? I go to pubs quite frequently. I have never seen anyone yelling obscenities. The pubs I go to don’t have football games on (unless you call soccer football). No drunkards. (There was one regular who used to get out of hand, he was banned for life.) I wouldn’t hesitate to bring my kids there (and have). They have a kid’s menu with the best burger ever. It’s a nice treat for them. ETA: And my kids behave. They sit in their seats and chat with us or colour until the food comes. They eat with proper table manners. Quietly. Then we pay and leave. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/234 "2012-10-18T15:20:36Z")
I think she’s confusing a pub with a sports bar. Or any bar. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/235 "2012-10-18T15:23:33Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I think she’s confusing a pub with a sports bar. Or any bar. I think she’s confused, period. I mean, I did describe loud, drunk guys yelling at the TV in a brewpub, but I also assumed anyone who has ever been in one knows what that means (hint: not obscenities, falling-down drunkenness, or sustained screaming) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/236 "2012-10-18T15:47:39Z")
So, have we changed the definition of “pub?” I think of a pub as a drinking establishment, where people go to have some alcoholic drinks, talk and socialize, (usually) watch sports, and sometimes eat some pub grub. What part of this is causing parents to interpret it as “family restaurant?” ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/237 "2012-10-18T16:05:21Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > What part of this is causing parents to interpret it as “family restaurant?” I’m going to guess it’s the part where the establishment offers high chairs a kid’s menu and coloring books. Granted, those could be intended for their boozing clientele, but I could understand how a parent might be fooled. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/238 "2012-10-18T16:35:43Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > So, have we changed the definition of “pub?” I think of a pub as a drinking establishment, where people go to have some alcoholic drinks, talk and socialize, (usually) watch sports, and sometimes eat some pub grub. What part of this is causing parents to interpret it as “family restaurant?” It really depends on where you live, I guess. I’d call that “a bar” or, if there are an inordinate number of large screen televisions around, “a sports bar”. Chicago (where I live) has lots of Irish-American and similar pubs that have been around for decades. They really are family restaurants (while the sun is up) that happen to have a full bar. For example: [http://moodyspub.com/web-coupon/](http://moodyspub.com/web-coupon/) And yes, if you have a row of high chairs (not just one icky one that’s broken and stuck in the corner) and a kids’ menu AND coloring books…you’re either a family restaurant or AWESOME enablers of alcoholic parents. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/239 "2012-10-18T16:38:12Z")
“Mummy, I’m tired!” “Shut up and eat your ploughman’s lunch, it isn’t last call yet!” ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/240 "2012-10-18T17:14:19Z")
> [@The\_Dord](#): > > Sure, if you want to volunteer helping older people or want to mentor kids with musical lessons.. etc. > > There’s plenty more examples of where that came from, buuuut I guess you really enjoy taking a man-sized dump in innocent men’s cereal boxes as a prank while you call the cops and proceed to tell them that you were raped by them.. because to you, handshakes are rape. Innocent men do not try to intimidate women into touching them. And you clearly flunked reading comprehension in elementary school. My opinion has always been that forcing a woman to shake a man’s hand (or touch any other part of his body against her will) is an act of sexual violence and could be a precursor to rape. I fail to see what is so increible about that unless you believe women do not have the right to body privcay. And by the way I volunteer at a senior center weekly. All the old men are gentlemen. They would never stick out their hands at a woman unless she extended hers first. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881.md?page=13)