# I pit people who don't pay attention to their kids at the grocery store **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 6, 2012, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881 "2012-10-06T05:54:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/241 "2012-10-18T17:40:37Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > So, have we changed the definition of “pub?” I think of a pub as a drinking establishment, where people go to have some alcoholic drinks, talk and socialize, (usually) watch sports, and sometimes eat some pub grub. What part of this is causing parents to interpret it as “family restaurant?” Around here (by which I mean “everywhere in this state that I’ve patronized one, Philly Pittsburgh and everywhere in between”), “brewpub” means a restaurant of any type with a microbrewery attached. Of the ones I usually go to, 90% are basically family restaurants and the other 10% are high-end restaurants. Heh, I just went to the website of the place under discussion: “Our brewery and restaurant are co-located and feature a family-friendly and casual atmosphere.” right up front. I’m SO obnoxious and clueless for going there with my kid, right? ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/242 "2012-10-18T20:22:22Z")
I agree with Zeriel, “Brewpub” is a kind of restaurant, fancier than Applebees but still casual and kid-friendly, that happens to be associated with a microbrewery. ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/243 "2012-10-19T00:43:11Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > It really depends on where you live, I guess. Surely it does, and probably in more than one way. I live in a very rural area. The closest town - which my mail comes through - has two (small) establishments that serve alcohol. One of them is a standard dive bar. The other one has a multiple personality. By day, it’s a family restaurant with a fish fry on Friday nights and the whole deal - high chairs, coloring books, etc. After about 8:30/9:00 at night, there’s a little more drinkin’, somebody pulls out the cards, and you don’t see kids. Technically, I suppose it’s a bar, but it serves more than one purpose - you don’t specialize so much when there aren’t very many places to go. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Dord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@The\_Dord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Dord)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/244 "2012-10-19T00:46:32Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Innocent men do not try to intimidate women into touching them. And you clearly flunked reading comprehension in elementary school. My opinion has always been that forcing a woman to shake a man’s hand (or touch any other part of his body against her will) is an act of sexual violence and could be a precursor to rape. I fail to see what is so increible about that unless you believe women do not have the right to body privcay. And by the way I volunteer at a senior center weekly. All the old men are gentlemen. They would never stick out their hands at a woman unless she extended hers first. You think any kind of handshake (forced or not) is an act of sexual violence, so don’t act like you’re high on a moral pedestal when you talk out the sides of your face. I’m sorry to say, you clearly flunked preschool. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/245 "2012-10-19T01:27:11Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Maybe not, but I sure as hell would have restocked the canned goods, etc and the guy would have walked out with $150 worth of bulk goods. So you would have told him he HAD to buy the bulk candy rather than milk butter eggs and bread because you couldn’t put it back. Good luck enforcing that. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/246 "2012-10-19T01:44:32Z")
> [@Miss\_Woodhouse](#): > > Correcting a child on their misbehavior is one of the great ways we show our love. It says “hey, this doesn’t work. I want you to be better. Let me help you.” THanks for this. One of the the things that bothers me as much or more than kids with no discipline is parents loudly berating small children for expressing thier natural curiousity and wonder at things at a store. Take a second to look at something with them. That’s when you teach them to ask permission before touching , and how to be careful with other people’s property. If they’re having a bad day and throw a hissy in public, no big deal. It happens. Just quietly take them out and remind them that hissy’s do not work for geting what they want. I know it’s a lot easier to say than to do when you have a schedule but the kids are more important than the stuff. The saying around our house as the kids were growing up was “Sometimes you have to love someone enoough to kick them in the ass” Meaning when they are behaving badly you let them know, and there are consequences, and it’s all because of love. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/247 "2012-10-19T01:51:31Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > I find listening to people shouting into their cell phones, especially when it’s overly personal stuff I wouldn’t want to know about a family member (let alone a total stranger), highly annoying, but guess what? This is part of other human beings existing. I’m sure my habit of thinking out loud (at low-to-normal conversational volume) irritates some around me. > > If you cannot cope with the existence of other human beings who aren’t exactly like you, you maybe shouldn’t be a part of society. Oh please, you aren’t an angel and neither is anyone else. We all have things that push our buttons. Just like parents letting their kids run amok, people who have long loud conversations on their phones in public areas are unnecessary and the result of self-centered entitlement. If you want that sort to rule your world, that is your choice but don’t try to wrap it in a pretense of sainthood. > [@Zeriel](#): > > Well, I’d rather be a redneck than a bitter, misanthropic parasite on the system that hates it so much I have to pretend I’m the only deserving asshole on welfare in the world, so there you have it. I imagine that’s true. Wouldn’t know what it’s like to be either tho. > [@](#): > > If your attitude as displayed on the Dope is similar to how you act in real life, I’d expect that you are the bitchy, stupid lady who screams from her front porch at kids walking by talking at a normal volume, and blames any wind damage or random acts of stray dog on deliberate acts by neighborhood children. Apparently you aren’t any good at reading then. I have never complained about anything at normal volume, including kids, and wind damage doesn’t smash heavy clay pots or leave basketballs in the middle of my rose bushes. But, like every other parent of your type in the country, you prefer to believe that children could never be little shits, and anyone that complains about their behavior must either be “bitchy and stupid” or trying to blame kids for damage caused by something else. Sorry, the wind doesn’t kick a soccer ball into garage doors until they are dented; children are no more saints than **Seanette** is, and it’s their parents responsibility and job to see that they are not out causing trouble until they have been able to teach them manners. > [@WhyNot](#): > > ``` > I think she's confusing a pub with a sports bar. Or any bar. > > ``` He said drunken men yelling at sports on the TV, so I’m not sure there is much of a distinction there. Perhaps he is misusing the term pub? The pubs we used to go to in Canada didn’t have anyone yelling at anything. > [@cosmosdan](#): > > One of the the things that bothers me as much or more than kids with no discipline is parents loudly berating small children for expressing thier natural curiousity and wonder at things at a store. People do that? ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/248 "2012-10-19T02:16:24Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > People do that? So wait, you’ve seen lots of misbehaving kids not being controlled by their parents, but you’ve never seen a parent bitch out a kid for asking why one to many times or asking politely if he can have a candy bar when the parent was in a bad mood? You must live in the amazing town of Shitty Kidville, CA, or something. Where all the kids are brats and there’s nary a harried or overstressed parent to be found. I suspect the truth is closer to “you’re a misanthropic old bat who hates kids and can’t observe reality for shit”. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/249 "2012-10-19T03:25:13Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > So wait, you’ve seen lots of misbehaving kids not being controlled by their parents, but you’ve never seen a parent bitch out a kid for asking why one to many times or asking politely if he can have a candy bar when the parent was in a bad mood? > > You must live in the amazing town of Shitty Kidville, CA, or something. Where all the kids are brats and there’s nary a harried or overstressed parent to be found. > > I suspect the truth is closer to “you’re a misanthropic old bat who hates kids and can’t observe reality for shit”. You are such an idiot. Why in the world would I have any idea why a parent was yelling at their kid? It’s not like I’m standing around staring at them or following them thru the store (especially since I don’t tend to go to stores). First I’m going to notice them is when the noise starts, which is when I leave. _And_, **cosmosdan** said expressing their curiosity, not nagging for a candy bar. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/250 "2012-10-19T07:22:48Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > More like the “trolls” and “people who feed them” camps. The rest of us know that when curlcoat and ZPG show up to a parenting thread, it’s time to get out of the pool. Oh Og, you nailed it. I forget this is always a possibility when I read threads like this and I plod along happily until the nutbar brigade shows up. I’m childless and don’t have a particular fondness for unruly and annoying children. However, I think they are definitely the minority and I have no problem appreciating the vast bulk of kids I encounter. So, why is it that every thread like this devolves into parenting “advice” advanced by non-parents who come across as anti-social at best and sociopaths at worst? Damn. I just need to utilize the ignore list once more. It’s made life much easier now that I don’t see the other resident freakshow, SA, either. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Dord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@The\_Dord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Dord)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/251 "2012-10-19T08:12:57Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Oh Og, you nailed it. I forget this is always a possibility when I read threads like this and I plod along happily until the nutbar brigade shows up. I’m childless and don’t have a particular fondness for unruly and annoying children. However, I think they are definitely the minority and I have no problem appreciating the vast bulk of kids I encounter. So, why is it that every thread like this devolves into parenting “advice” advanced by non-parents who come across as anti-social at best and sociopaths at worst? Damn. I just need to utilize the ignore list once more. It’s made life much easier now that I don’t see the other resident freakshow, SA, either. Well count your chickens, err toilet paper tube rolls that he isn’t here 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/252 "2012-10-19T11:41:00Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > So you would have told him he HAD to buy the bulk candy rather than milk butter eggs and bread because you couldn’t put it back. Good luck enforcing that. I honestly do not know what my legal position would be, but yeah, I’d attempt to make him man up. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/253 "2012-10-19T12:41:51Z")
Children only learn how to behave in restaurants and public places by gaining experience being in them. As children there will be times when it goes less than perfectly. Having once been children, most adults are forgiving as they understand - they are still learning. Some people are more accepting than others that not everyone will do things, ‘as they would’. Others, not so much. Yes there are inadequate parents, and ill behaved children, without a doubt. But I doubt I was put on this earth to pass judgment on others, having not been in those shoes. And I’m not even a damn Christian! I see far more well behaved, well managed, if lively children than neglectful parents and unruly kids. But then I’m not all hot about someone else’s lifestyle and judging their proficiency does not make me feel superior. Others may feel otherwise, I expect. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/254 "2012-10-19T13:10:58Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > …But I doubt I was put on this earth to pass judgment on others… Yeah, I know. That job was given to me. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/255 "2012-10-19T15:13:06Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Oh please, you aren’t an angel and neither is anyone else. We all have things that push our buttons. Just like parents letting their kids run amok, people who have long loud conversations on their phones in public areas are unnecessary and the result of self-centered entitlement. If you want that sort to rule your world, that is your choice but don’t try to wrap it in a pretense of sainthood. The point you so deftly and deliberately missed is that I am not the only person whose preferences matter, and neither are you. EVERY member of society has as much right to be out in public as you do (unless of course they’re prison inmates), and part of being a part of a society is putting up with others’ existence instead of knee-jerk hate of a group for something beyond their control (such as, say, being CHILDREN). ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/256 "2012-10-19T22:34:03Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Children only learn how to behave in restaurants and public places by gaining experience being in them. As children there will be times when it goes less than perfectly. Having once been children, most adults are forgiving as they understand - they are still learning. The children I post about are not being taught to behave in public - well, they are learning they can behave badly, but they aren’t being taught that by their parents except passively as they are ignored. I don’t like hearing an earsplitting scream, but if the parent deals with it quickly and effectively, I can accept it. What I am not interested in have to put up with are those children who obviously have had no table manners taught to them at home, who have no boundaries, who have never heard the word No, and whose parents just ignore them as they run amok. > [@](#): > > Yes there are inadequate parents, and ill behaved children, without a doubt. But I doubt I was put on this earth to pass judgment on others, having not been in those shoes. And I’m not even a damn Christian! Piffle - people pass judgement on each other every day - you are doing it now. And we certainly have the right to complain about things that bother use, correct? > [@](#): > > I see far more well behaved, well managed, if lively children than neglectful parents and unruly kids. But then I’m not all hot about someone else’s lifestyle and judging their proficiency does not make me feel superior. Others may feel otherwise, I expect. There’s that judging others thing again. As for whether or not you see mostly well behaved children or not, that’s pretty immaterial isn’t it? Not everyone lives where you do, shops where you do, etc, so whatever your personal experience is simply doesn’t apply. Particularly when you are trying to claim that your experience is “normal” and anyone who complains must be “hot about someone else’s lifestyle and judging their proficiency”. There is a reason why I don’t like kids, and the reason is I’ve had to listen to them screech (not just yell), replace things they have damaged, forced to pay unreal taxes to support them, have the rest of the world tell me I’m not “normal” and not a “real woman” for having not reproduced, and _then_ have to put up with yet another restriction to the lifestyle I picked. Pick something you aren’t all that interested in, substitute it for “kids” in above, have it go on for decades and see how long it is until you don’t feel like putting up with it anymore. > [@Seanette](#): > > The point you so deftly and deliberately missed is that I am not the only person whose preferences matter, and neither are you. EVERY member of society has as much right to be out in public as you do (unless of course they’re prison inmates), and part of being a part of a society is putting up with others’ existence instead of knee-jerk hate of a group for something beyond their control (such as, say, being CHILDREN). Oh for chrissakes, this one again. OK, if everyone has the right to be out in public except prison inmates, that means you wouldn’t have any problem with those telemarketers you are ranting about in the other thread, right? It would be just fine with you if they switched to following you about and bugging you in person instead of over the phone? How about a nice loud drunk insisting you support his football team? A party until 1 am next door every week night? As for knee-jerk, hardly. I’ve had decades of bad experiences with bratty children and their entitled parents. As for “something beyond their control such as being children”, :rolleyes: Try actually reading instead of assuming. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/257 "2012-10-19T22:55:47Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Oh for chrissakes, this one again. OK, if everyone has the right to be out in public except prison inmates, that means you wouldn’t have any problem with those telemarketers you are ranting about in the other thread, right? It would be just fine with you if they switched to following you about and bugging you in person instead of over the phone? How about a nice loud drunk insisting you support his football team? A party until 1 am next door every week night? Having a right to be in public does NOT equal a right to force interaction on me. Considering that your standard response to the word “child” involves frothing hatred, welcome to my ignore list. I don’t socialize with bigots, and hating an entire category of human beings for something outside their control (such as age) qualifies you for that description. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/258 "2012-10-20T03:52:12Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Having a right to be in public does NOT equal a right to force interaction on me. > > Considering that your standard response to the word “child” involves frothing hatred, welcome to my ignore list. I don’t socialize with bigots, and hating an entire category of human beings for something outside their control (such as age) qualifies you for that description. I won’t miss you at all, since you cannot seem to read or think. I will note however that you selfishly demand that the public not force interaction on you, yet call me a bigot (snort) for not wanting to have to do the same. (The snort for “bigot” is because it’s a great example of how you can’t read or think. Must be all that “homemaking” you are doing.) ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/259 "2012-10-20T04:54:08Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > As for knee-jerk, hardly. I’ve had decades of bad experiences with bratty children and their entitled parents. Every time you use the word “entitled”, a SSDI check gets its wings. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/260 "2012-10-20T05:03:48Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Every time you use the word “entitled”, a SSDI check gets its wings. (Funny how this is all you can answer out of that whole post…) Yeah right. Me getting my social security is the same thing as some parents expecting the rest of the world to raise their kids for them. :rolleyes: What I don’t get is why it’s such a threat to people like you and **Seanette** that I don’t like poor parenting and bratty kids. Is it hitting too close to home? Do you think I might become Queen of the World and banish these kids? Why in the world do you care so much what a stranger thinks of kids that aren’t yours? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881.md?page=14)