# I pit people who don't pay attention to their kids at the grocery store **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 6, 2012, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881 "2012-10-06T05:54:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/41 "2012-10-07T17:23:38Z")
Most kids are incapable of just tagging along. They’re too overstimulated by games and TV. My kids’ dentist office has an actual video gameroom attached to the waiting room so the little buggers don’t start ripping up magazines and peeing in the potted plants out of sheer desperate boredom. The big grocery store here has a room you can drop the kids at where they play games, watch videos, pass around viruses etc while you shop. These rooms are a sad commentary, but they’re better than those carts with the big fucking race car looking thing the kids are supposed to sit in. I’m really sick of that shit. When a mom gets in my way with one of those things, I say, “No problem, go on by” but I’m thinking, “Get that fucking thing out of here.” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/42 "2012-10-07T17:32:37Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Bulk bins are a great idea - don’t pay for packaging. But they should have child-proof perspex lids. Or, better yet, have coin-operated chutes. As I was posting the anecdote about the kid snacking out of the bulk bin, I was thinking about how low the bins are set, and wondering why they’re set so low that a four year old can casually grab stuff out of them. I couldn’t come up with a good reason except that the store wants them low so the kids can see them well and bug their parents to buy them stuff. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/43 "2012-10-07T18:26:56Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > Yes, sometimes important jobs are hard to do and unpleasant for the person doing them. > > Like the time I had to clean a dead possum from under my porch. I chose to own a home with a porch, and chose to do it myself instead of calling a Dead Varmint Disposal Company. The job sucked, and I bitched about it to anyone within ear shot. The job also needed to be done, so that I could live a life without a rotting corpse under my porch. > > I choose to live a life with a child that I can take with me places and not have him destroy the place. At least, I’m attempting to choose that life, and it’s work, and sometimes the work sucks. You didn’t chose to have a possum under your porch, dead or otherwise, and such things are not automatically part of home ownership. OTOH, taking a child that doesn’t know how to control himself to a public market is a completely avoidable problem. By four years of age he shouldn’t need to be chased “around like he’s wandering through a construction zone” - you shouldn’t have to be chasing him at all. I managed to take two toddlers to the store without having to chase either one, but then one was in the cart and the other one was wearing a harness. **WhyNot** has all kinds of good ideas in her post. It is far better for the _child_, not to mention the parent and the surrounding world, if he is taught manners and self control at an early age. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/44 "2012-10-07T18:51:15Z")
I don’t know where you guys shop, but most shopping carts say on the seats that they have a 35-pound limit. My not-yet-four-year-old daughter is 41 inches tall and 34 pounds…and she’s skinny. Chances are, she won’t safely fit into the seats by age 4. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/45 "2012-10-07T18:53:41Z")
I have grocery shopping with children down to almost a science at this point, having been doing it since my oldest was an infant, ten years ago. Children will not: put things in the cart without permission, fight with each other, scream, demand things, or run in the store. If they obey these rules, then the grocery trip continues as planned and there will probably be a few little treats for them that get thrown into the cart at some point, because that’s how I roll. If they do not obey these rules, we leave. I give a single warning, and if the behavior recurs, we leave the store, even if that means leaving behind a cart with groceries in it. I have had to resort to this very, very few times, but my kids all know that it’s a real option and not an empty threat. …I just scrolled up-thread before posting this and I see that this is basically the same thing **WhyNot** said, except she remembered to point out that when telling your kids your expectations, it’s helpful to frame them positively rather than negatively. I also find that my kids like being given little assignments at the store. “Go find me two cans of Campbell’s tomato soup from the soup display and bring them back” or whatever. Obviously I wouldn’t do this with a toddler, but once they’re 6 or so, they like this sort of thing and it keeps them from getting bored. > [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I don’t know where you guys shop, but most shopping carts say on the seats that they have a 35-pound limit. My not-yet-four-year-old daughter is 41 inches tall and 34 pounds…and she’s skinny. Chances are, she won’t safely fit into the seats by age 4. Yeah, I honestly am having trouble even imagining an 8-year-old (or even a 6-year-old) fitting into the seat of a grocery cart. And my kids are all skinny, too. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/46 "2012-10-07T19:04:57Z")
Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever read the seat of a shopping cart. You may be correct there. Good call on the assignments, **MsWhatsit**. My girl is the Mistress of The List. Keeps her busy, and it keeps me using a list, which is a win-win, because otherwise I buy all sorts of crap I don’t need and forget the crap I do need. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/47 "2012-10-07T23:55:48Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Really? Working at a grocery pays well? it sure can. cashiers and baggers just starting out won’t be making a ton, but if you stick around for a bit and move up the ladder some (not terribly difficult to do) then yeah, the pay’s decent. at the chain i worked for, many people made a career of their job there because of the excellent benefits. got bonuses several times a year, too. low level managers range around 30-50k/year, and as they moved up, so did their salary. so yeah, considering it’s a job you can walk into with zero skills and for many people is a first job, working at a grocery can pay pretty well. better than my current office job, even. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/48 "2012-10-08T00:12:47Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Three kids and dad has $150.00 to his name? No credit card for emergencies? That’s wack. Welcome to the post-2007s, bro. And not enough cash to buy Jelly Bellies is not an emergency, at least in my world. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/49 "2012-10-08T02:46:33Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > That’s not the customers problem or fault. It sounds to me that is the company business model that is to blame. Probably the business is banking in a certain percentage loss due to the model. If the store you worked for wasn’t some gigantic soulless mega-store you might as well had taken the poor guy back outside and given him the stuff for free. No loss to anybody. The manager might have done it anyhow, bought the store a little goodwill. > > Btw. Don’t need snotty kids not to be able to pay for your grocery. I’ve been to the supermarket a few times and only realised at the cash-out that I had forgotten my credit card. The customer should have known roughly how much money he had to purchase groceries and kept an eye on the price of what was going in the cart. Personally, I think he should have been forced to pay for the cost of the bulk buy items since they could not be resold. If the man didn’t sound so absolutely dumb and clueless, I would wonder if he wasn’t trying to scam his way into getting the Jelly Bellies at reduced price from this stunt. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/50 "2012-10-08T04:24:33Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > That’s not the customers problem or fault. It sounds to me that is the company business model that is to blame. Probably the business is banking in a certain percentage loss due to the model. If the store you worked for wasn’t some gigantic soulless mega-store you might as well had taken the poor guy back outside and given him the stuff for free. No loss to anybody. The manager might have done it anyhow, bought the store a little goodwill. No, it’s not the company’s fault. The customer does indeed need pay attention, if he’s going to be THAT much off. And as for giving him all that stuff for free, isn’t that basically an encouragement to say, “Hey, I forgot my wallet, but since you’re going to have to toss all that, can’t I just have it?” I understand what you mean, but that’s a really, really bad idea. They’ll end up being reimbursed for that stuff in the long run. > [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Yeah, I honestly am having trouble even imagining an 8-year-old (or even a 6-year-old) fitting into the seat of a grocery cart. And my kids are all skinny, too. I was downright scrawny as a kid, but there’s no way I would have fit into the seats of most buggies. I was pretty much all legs. That and I knew better than to act like those kids. There’s no way I would have gotten away with any of that. (My sister, on the other hand, had to have one of those kid leashes, because she liked to run off.) ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/51 "2012-10-08T10:07:27Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Personally, I think he should have been forced to pay for the cost of the bulk buy items since they could not be resold. Forced how? He clearly didn’t have the money. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/52 "2012-10-08T10:17:14Z")
A giftcard with a negative $250 balance on it. Each time when he comes in he can present it to add $20 or $30 to his bill until he’s paid it off 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/53 "2012-10-08T15:19:07Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > Forced how? He clearly didn’t have the money. I am sure the store has some sort of procedure in place for billing customers for damages. What this guy did is really no different from shattering a $250 vase in a shop. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/54 "2012-10-08T20:00:40Z")
“You break it, you buy it” is not legally binding. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/55 "2012-10-08T20:22:20Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I am sure the store has some sort of procedure in place for billing customers for damages. Best of luck to the mailman when he attempts to deliver the bill to the customer’s home address of 123 Eatshit Lane, Blowmetown FU 66666. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/56 "2012-10-08T20:51:45Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > “You break it, you buy it” is not legally binding. Even if you shake on it? ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/57 "2012-10-08T22:15:27Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > Forced how? He clearly didn’t have the money. According to the OP they voided the candy from his bill, but added back the staples & real food. Presumably most of that was still in sellable condition. So just take everthing that isn’t bulk candy off his bill, _then_ then void $100 worth of bulk candy. That store would only be out $100 worth of merchandise instead of $250 worth. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/58 "2012-10-08T23:29:39Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > According to the OP they voided the candy from his bill, but added back the staples & real food. Presumably most of that was still in sellable condition. So just take everthing that isn’t bulk candy off his bill, _then_ then void $100 worth of bulk candy. That store would only be out $100 worth of merchandise instead of $250 worth. And ban the jackass from the store. But, seriously, there ought to be some way existing laws on vandalism (he’s essentially forced the store to destroy merchandise) or maybe shoplifting could be applied to this jerk. Letting him skate is only encouraging more irresponsible behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/59 "2012-10-09T00:22:44Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > And ban the jackass from the store. But, seriously, there ought to be some way existing laws on vandalism (he’s essentially forced the store to destroy merchandise) or maybe shoplifting could be applied to this jerk. Letting him skate is only encouraging more irresponsible behavior. As I understand it, it’s not shoplifting unless and until you remove it from the store. I have no idea how charging him with vandalism would work out either - stores generally eat the losses generated by customers breaking stuff or otherwise rendering it unsellable, and unless you could prove he had malicious intent, I doubt this would be any different. Same with alphaboi’s idea - sounds good on the surface, but as far as I’m aware, stores have no authority to force customers to purchase certain goods against their will. The guy sounds like a moron, and having dealt with plenty of them in retail, I sympathize (I worked in a Walmart, so believe me, I know about moron customers). But loss/shrinkage is a part of the system and is unavoidable if you let the general public handle merchandise. And banning people may sound good, but its harder than it sounds to enforce it in a large grocery or department store. Besides, how is this encouraging irresponsible behavior? He didn’t get anything extra, and if he has any sense at all he would have been at least a little embarrassed. He may well be too stupid to be embarrassed, but that’s probably an unsolvable problem. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/60 "2012-10-09T05:07:39Z")
My guess is that he contributed a lot towards that particular store getting rid of bulk bins at some point in the future. Like I said earlier, what he did is totally not right, but I can’t see another way to handle it, either, short of having staff monitoring the bulk bins and checking bank balances before allowing people to dish up big bags of stuff. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881.md?page=4)