# I pit people who don't pay attention to their kids at the grocery store **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 6, 2012, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881 "2012-10-06T05:54:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Naive\_Evian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Naive\_Evian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naive_Evian)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/61 "2012-10-09T06:05:33Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > He should learn how to be good in a grocery store now, rather than when he’s way too big to fit in a cart and I have to buy dozens of things, and I don’t have the option of leaving him at home. So, I let him walk when I’m not buying tons of stuff, keep close tabs on him, and take a deep breath when he’s back strapped into the car and I don’t have to chase anymore. If your child cannot control himself for a shopping trip, you are a failure as a parent. In some parts of Africa, kids fight as soldiers. Don’t tell me a kid cannot be made to behave. Next time he gets out of line, make him bend over your knee and give him a light spanking. If that doesn’t work, use emotional blackmail. Tell him you are very disappointed in him and that you don’t love him anymore and then treat him very coldly for about a week. These are things parents used to do regularly before they got all concerned about self esteem. A child should know that love is not unconditional. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/62 "2012-10-09T06:37:35Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > My guess is that he contributed a lot towards that particular store getting rid of bulk bins at some point in the future. I don’t know, I suspect that bulk bins may be profitable enough to make up for the occasional incident like this. Most stores I shop at have had them for many years, so they must find them worthwhile. > [@Naive\_Evian](#): > > These are things parents used to do regularly before they got all concerned about self esteem. A child should know that love is not unconditional. Woah, that’s a little extreme. Parental approval may not be unconditional, but love should be. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/63 "2012-10-09T06:39:41Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I have grocery shopping with children down to almost a science at this point, having been doing it since my oldest was an infant, ten years ago. > > Children will not: put things in the cart without permission, fight with each other, scream, demand things, or run in the store. If they obey these rules, then the grocery trip continues as planned and there will probably be a few little treats for them that get thrown into the cart at some point, because that’s how I roll. If they do not obey these rules, we leave. I give a single warning, and if the behavior recurs, we leave the store, even if that means leaving behind a cart with groceries in it. I have had to resort to this very, very few times, but my kids all know that it’s a real option and not an empty threat. > > …I just scrolled up-thread before posting this and I see that this is basically the same thing **WhyNot** said, except she remembered to point out that when telling your kids your expectations, it’s helpful to frame them positively rather than negatively. > > I also find that my kids like being given little assignments at the store. “Go find me two cans of Campbell’s tomato soup from the soup display and bring them back” or whatever. Obviously I wouldn’t do this with a toddler, but once they’re 6 or so, they like this sort of thing and it keeps them from getting bored. > > Yeah, I honestly am having trouble even imagining an 8-year-old (or even a 6-year-old) fitting into the seat of a grocery cart. And my kids are all skinny, too. Forget 35 Pounds, my turned 8 yesterday daughter is 35 kilos. And no, she’s not fat (a little big boned though) ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/64 "2012-10-09T07:48:21Z")
> [@Naive\_Evian](#): > > If your child cannot control himself for a shopping trip, you are a failure as a parent. In some parts of Africa, kids fight as soldiers. Don’t tell me a kid cannot be made to behave. Next time he gets out of line, make him bend over your knee and give him a light spanking. If that doesn’t work, use emotional blackmail. Tell him you are very disappointed in him and that you don’t love him anymore and then treat him very coldly for about a week. > > These are things parents used to do regularly before they got all concerned about self esteem. A child should know that love is not unconditional. Bewdiful…looks like we’ve got a live one here folks. I reckon **Naive Evian** is the love-child that eventuated from the threesome between\*\* curlcoat\*\*, **ZPGzealot** and **Idi Amin**. Running a book…odds currently 2-1. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/65 "2012-10-09T08:16:53Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > My guess is that he contributed a lot towards that particular store getting rid of bulk bins at some point in the future. Like I said earlier, what he did is totally not right, but I can’t see another way to handle it, either, short of having staff monitoring the bulk bins and checking bank balances before allowing people to dish up big bags of stuff. Or at least, the bulk bins should not be at such a low level. I’ve seen bulk candy sold in the sort of bins that have chutes. This also seems to be how bulk coffee is sold, in smaller bins with chutes on them, which are out of reach of a smaller child. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/66 "2012-10-09T09:56:48Z")
> [@Naive\_Evian](#): > > If your child cannot control himself for a shopping trip, you are a failure as a parent. In some parts of Africa, kids fight as soldiers. Don’t tell me a kid cannot be made to behave. Next time he gets out of line, make him bend over your knee and give him a light spanking. If that doesn’t work, use emotional blackmail. Tell him you are very disappointed in him and that you don’t love him anymore and then treat him very coldly for about a week. > > These are things parents used to do regularly before they got all concerned about self esteem. A child should know that love is not unconditional. I conditionally love you, and want to have your babies. Lots of them, we can start our own militia. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/67 "2012-10-09T12:21:56Z")
My mother often lamented of the children \*starving \*in Africa to compel me to eat my [_enter disliked food here_], but she never tried to guilt me into behaving with images of AK-47-toting preadolescents hopped up on brown-brown. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/68 "2012-10-09T12:31:38Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Or at least, the bulk bins should not be at such a low level. I’ve seen bulk candy sold in the sort of bins that have chutes. This also seems to be how bulk coffee is sold, in smaller bins with chutes on them, which are out of reach of a smaller child. How would that help solve the issue at hand? Stuff had to thrown away because dad couldn’t pay for it - presumably that is a problem that would exist regardless of how the bulk bins were configured. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/69 "2012-10-09T12:57:56Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > How would that help solve the issue at hand? Stuff had to thrown away because dad couldn’t pay for it - presumably that is a problem that would exist regardless of how the bulk bins were configured. It seems that the children picked out the candy in the OP. If that is true, if the candy is out of their reach (in general - obviously some future NBA star wouldn’t have a problem), the parent would have to choose and, one hopes, would show a little more discretion and maturity. However, if one expects adults to show discretion and maturity, one will often be disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/70 "2012-10-09T13:17:51Z")
> [@Naive\_Evian](#): > > If your child cannot control himself for a shopping trip, you are a failure as a parent. In some parts of Africa, kids fight as soldiers. Don’t tell me a kid cannot be made to behave. Next time he gets out of line, make him bend over your knee and give him a light spanking. If that doesn’t work, use emotional blackmail. Tell him you are very disappointed in him and that you don’t love him anymore and then treat him very coldly for about a week. > > These are things parents used to do regularly before they got all concerned about self esteem. A child should know that love is not unconditional. These are things parents used to do regularly when murder rates, illiteracy rates, [adolescent rape](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juvenile_delinquency#Official_record_data), [drunk driving and having unprotected sex](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2396566/) were higher than they were today. [And there’s no evidence that they were effective](http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2002/06/spanking.aspx). ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/71 "2012-10-09T15:03:08Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > Woah, that’s a little extreme. Parental approval may not be unconditional, but love should be. Attitudes like that are why so many children are little beasts. Love isn’t really important to raising a responsible human being. Self-discipline is. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/72 "2012-10-09T15:06:57Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Bewdiful…looks like we’ve got a live one here folks. > > I reckon **Naive Evian** is the love-child that eventuated from the threesome between\*\* curlcoat\*\*, **ZPGzealot** and **Idi Amin**. > > Running a book…odds currently 2-1. 😃 Better an offspring like Naive Evian who can think and plan out their actions than one that gets knocked up, unmarried by a man, that doesn’t want any parental responsibilities. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/73 "2012-10-09T15:21:22Z")
And children who’s parents tell them that they don’t love them because they wanted a Snicker bar one afternoon would never suffer any sort of self-esteem issues that would lead them to stupid behavior like that. Good call. Next time my daughter doesn’t eat all her food when I take her out to lunch, I’m going to call her a whore and tell her she’ll never amount to anything. That ought to do the trick, huh? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/74 "2012-10-09T15:29:07Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Love isn’t really important to raising a responsible human being. No, but it’s useful for creating adults who aren’t miserable, hateful, empty creatures who project their fear and loathing onto the world around them (and often pass it on to their own children). And lest that come across as maudlin, I’m a childless adult who usually wishes kids would just shut the fuck up and go away. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/75 "2012-10-09T16:27:03Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > or almost getting killed because they don’t pay attention to their surroundings and try to run right in front of a moving forklift. (It’s a good thing those things can brake on a dime, let me tell you.) You have forklifts driving around on the sales floor? Seems pretty stupid to me. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/76 "2012-10-09T16:42:09Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > You have forklifts driving around on the sales floor? Seems pretty stupid to me. Fairly common at the warehouse bag-your-own type stores. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/77 "2012-10-09T16:53:23Z")
And not un-common at places that are setting out pallet-loads of soda or tons of candy for Halloween. Or beer for the playoffs. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/78 "2012-10-09T17:05:39Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > How fat is your fucking kid that you can’t fit them into a grocery cart seat?? > > My daughter is eight, and still fits (I know because she slipped and twisted her ankle recently and I stuck her in there). She was overwhelmed at seeing food for the first time in her life and tripped as she circled around. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/79 "2012-10-09T17:12:46Z")
> [@Naive\_Evian](#): > > Next time he gets out of line, make him bend over your knee and give him a light spanking. If that doesn’t work, use emotional blackmail. Tell him you are very disappointed in him and that you don’t love him anymore and then treat him very coldly for about a week. > > These are things parents used to do regularly before they got all concerned about self esteem. A child should know that love is not unconditional. . . . and welcome to Westboro Baptist. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/80 "2012-10-09T17:52:05Z")
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