# I pit people who don't pay attention to their kids at the grocery store **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 6, 2012, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881 "2012-10-06T05:54:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/161 "2012-10-12T18:11:23Z")
> [@ZPG Zealot](#): > > I was shopping for groceries at five and knew enough about portion control not to do stuff that bad. Self-reports are notoriously bad due to people’s inaccurate retrospection. I seriously doubt that an individual in the pre-operational cognitive stage (and apparently lacking a theory of mind) would have been concerned with portion control. That said, perhaps you’ve been stuck in a preconventional moral stage since then. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/162 "2012-10-12T19:54:14Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > It implies I got sick of paying for things out of my own money early on because my parents could not be responsible enough to manage their money. And my parents didn’t raise me, my extended family did, the responsible ones at least, which is why I turned out to be exceptional person I am today that has the intelligence not to worship kids. You were paying for things out of your own money when you were 5? Yeah, right. Where did you get that money? Were you already scamming people at that age? Pickpocketing? I know you’ve talking about teaching kids in your charge to pick pockets - clearly just another aspect of that excellent child-raising that you do. Yeah, you sure are exceptional all right. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/163 "2012-10-13T00:44:34Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > One of the best training techniques for both dogs and small children is ignoring egregiously bad behavior that’s obviously designed to gain attention. When they behave, you engage; when they misbehave, you ignore. > Just sayin’. Actually, it’s a currently popular training technique but it doesn’t work any better for dogs than it does children. If the dog/child is doing something that is self rewarding, you can ignore all you want and the behavior isn’t going to stop. And while you are ignoring the bad behavior in public, you are driving everyone around you crazy. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/164 "2012-10-13T03:49:54Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Actually, it’s a currently popular training technique but it doesn’t work any better for dogs than it does children. If the dog/child is doing something that is self rewarding, you can ignore all you want and the behavior isn’t going to stop. And while you are ignoring the bad behavior in public, you are driving everyone around you crazy. > > Just sayin’. Umm, yah. So I believe that the point that **WhyNot** was making to **kambucta** (and please correct me if I’m wrong, **WhyNot** ) is that there is no point in engaging with **ZPGZeallot** when she is obviously either a) trolling for a reaction or b) totally bat-shit, eating flies off the paper insane. Are you instead advocating that we in this thread who are disgusted by her lunatic ramblings should try to reason with her, and point out that she thinks morals are pictures on walls and scruples is money in Russia? Because frankly I think that’s sort of a waste of time. However, I don’t speak for the board and I’m sure someone will continue to engage her. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/165 "2012-10-13T04:37:54Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Umm, yah. So I believe that the point that **WhyNot** was making to **kambucta** (and please correct me if I’m wrong, **WhyNot** ) is that there is no point in engaging with **ZPGZeallot** when she is obviously either a) trolling for a reaction or b) totally bat-shit, eating flies off the paper insane. That’s certainly the way _I_ read it. Methinks **curlcoat** doesn’t do subtlety too well. Something must have gone amiss in her early training. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/166 "2012-10-13T07:32:10Z")
You are correct, **alice\_in\_wonderland**. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/167 "2012-10-13T13:39:54Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Umm, yah. So I believe that the point that **WhyNot** was making to **kambucta** (and please correct me if I’m wrong, **WhyNot** ) is that there is no point in engaging with **ZPGZeallot** when she is obviously either a) trolling for a reaction **or** b) totally bat-shit, eating flies off the paper insane. Why “or”? I’d vote for “and” ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/168 "2012-10-13T13:55:51Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > Not that it’s an excuse for not watching your child, but following a little kid around a store can be exhausting, even if you’re just buying a handful of things. I chase my 4 year old around like he’s wandering through a construction zone, and he still gets into things I don’t want him to. Then I throw my 3 items in the basket, and desperately try to keep him away from the candy at the checkout. > > A 5 minute shopping trip turns into 20 minutes of stress, and we haven’t even negotiated the return trip through the parking lot. > Count me as surprised that bulk candy, served in open bins anyone can shove anything (use your imagination) into are, in any way, “guaranteed” to not be adulterated. I know it’s hard and stuff hapoens, but it’s around that age that kids have to be taught a little respect for others, and private property, and that there’s a certain code of behaviour in a public place. That may mean that trips to the store wind up only teaching the kids because you had to abandon your errand to take them out. They need to learn, don’t touch without asking permission , and to mind the parent, meaning, stay with me for younger kids, and “don’t screw with things” for older ones. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/169 "2012-10-13T14:05:20Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > That’s not the customers problem or fault. It sounds to me that is the company business model that is to blame. Probably the business is banking in a certain percentage loss due to the model. If the store you worked for wasn’t some gigantic soulless mega-store you might as well had taken the poor guy back outside and given him the stuff for free. No loss to anybody. The manager might have done it anyhow, bought the store a little goodwill. > > Btw. Don’t need snotty kids not to be able to pay for your grocery. I’ve been to the supermarket a few times and only realised at the cash-out that I had forgotten my credit card. What a great idea. Just give them what they can’t afford for free. I’m going to that store and try to buy some lobster and prime rib. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/170 "2012-10-13T14:18:18Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > i worked retail for many years and i love when shitty customers get pwned, but that story, like many of the stories at that site, reads like a poorly written fantasy of what the cashier/clerk/whoever wished had happened instead of a real event. Worked retail a lot and I also dounted that story. here’s a true one. Working at sporting goods for a major national chain. Sadly parents let there kids come and play on the exercise gear while they shop and some of it is dangerous. Making the treadmill go when it’s not turned on is bad for the moter, and accidently turning it to high speed can shoot someone off the back. So, a coworker is busy explaining the different treadmills to a customer when a little girl comes over and climbs on one and begins to monkey with it, no adult in sight. The slaesperson excuses herself and politely tells the girl she can’t play on them. The little girl replies, “my daddy said I could” The salesperson tells her she’s mistaken and is not allowed to play on the treadmilss. It can be dangerous" The little girl leaves and the salesperson makes sure all the treadmills are locked on off and can’t be accidently turned on. Begins explaining to her customers , again. :ittle girl returns and says " My DADDY said I could play on these!!" I’m sorry you are not allowed to play here, you should go stay with your daddy" Little girl leaves. She is back into explaining to her customers again when little girl and her daddy come and daddy is obviously in a huff for havig his shopping interupted. He interrupts the saleperson and her customer to complain that he gave his daughter premission to play on the treadmills and wants to know what the hell is worng with the salesperson for telling her no. Before the salesperson can compose herself and chhose her words carefully, her customer steps past her and says "Look you jerk. This lady is trying to wait on us and I’m sick of being interrupted while she deals with your kid when she shouldn’t have to. “Take your bad attitude and your rotten kid and get the hell outa here” The shocked father takes his little darling and goes. Salesperson stifles cheer. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/171 "2012-10-13T16:26:00Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > I know it’s hard and stuff hapoens, but it’s around that age that kids have to be taught a little respect for others, and private property, and that there’s a certain code of behaviour in a public place. \ And that malls, department stores and grocery stores are not playgrounds. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen mom/dad paying no attention at all while their kids run around, chasing each other and screaming in Safeway or Walmart. And if I run into them with my cart, _I’m_ the bad guy! I’m not too far away from being that old grouch who tells kids, “This isn’t a playground - knock it off.” See also: **cosmosdan’s** post. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/172 "2012-10-14T03:18:54Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Umm, yah. So I believe that the point that **WhyNot** was making to **kambucta** (and please correct me if I’m wrong, **WhyNot** ) is that there is no point in engaging with **ZPGZeallot** when she is obviously either a) trolling for a reaction or b) totally bat-shit, eating flies off the paper insane. > > Are you instead advocating that we in this thread who are disgusted by her lunatic ramblings should try to reason with her, and point out that she thinks morals are pictures on walls and scruples is money in Russia? Because frankly I think that’s sort of a waste of time. However, I don’t speak for the board and I’m sure someone will continue to engage her. I thought this was a response to the sub thread about the similarities in training children and kids - **Voyager** was one and I _think_ it was **Cheesesteak** who started it by being snotty about teaching kids to heel. If **WhyNot** hadn’t verified that she was talking to **kambucta** about **ZPGZealot** , I’d still think her post was in response to the sub thread! Sorry for the error. FTR, no I don’t think anyone who isn’t doing it for amusement should engage anyone they think is crazy. But, my comment still stands. I think you could ignore crazy all you want, but if posting is self rewarding it’s going to keep happening. Oh, and thank you for asking politely unlike others… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/173 "2012-10-14T03:50:46Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > And that malls, department stores and grocery stores are not playgrounds. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen mom/dad paying no attention at all while their kids run around, chasing each other and screaming in Safeway or Walmart. And if I run into them with my cart, _I’m_ the bad guy! I’m not too far away from being that old grouch who tells kids, “This isn’t a playground - knock it off.” > > See also: **cosmosdan’s** post. 🙂 That’s what Ive noticed getting worse in the last ten to 15 years. Fewer parents teach their kids respect for others and private property {the stores merchandise} Just the other day I saw a woman come in with 5 kids. Her kids spread out in several areas and were all playing woth merchandise. I work at a music store and some of the items are fairly expensive. Out of respect I went to the Mom insotead of the kids and politely informed her that her kids needed to stop playing with the merchandise. She apologized and told them to stop, and 5 minutes later one of her kids was back on an expensive electronic drum set and she was back to not caring. My kids learned early on that there were unpleasent consequences to ignoring my instructions in stores. We actually had to tell one family to their kids couldn’t be in the store because the poor tykes were banging on things and the parents had been asked several times to stop that from happening. I’ve seen kids rip open pacjages of new merchandise to p[lay with it and when you point it out to the parents they say whoops sorry, with no intention of paying for it, and getting testy when you tell them you expect them to. I see parents hand thier kids some merchandise to play with to occupy them, and after they’ve broken it, get huffy at the idea that they are expected to buy it. Mainly, and almost daily, it parents letting thier kids play with instruments that cost hundreds of dollars without any intruction at all, and often not even noticing what they are doing. Every now and then some parent reminds me I’m not crazy, by insisting her kids put something back where they found it, or telling them not to touch anything without asking first , and being wih them to supervise and help as they satisify thier natural curiousty and enthusiasm. Is it really that hard? I had kids. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/174 "2012-10-14T03:53:54Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I am sure the store has some sort of procedure in place for billing customers for damages. What this guy did is really no different from shattering a $250 vase in a shop. It may not be , but generally grocery stores do not work that way. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/175 "2012-10-14T03:57:32Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > According to the OP they voided the candy from his bill, but added back the staples & real food. Presumably most of that was still in sellable condition. So just take everthing that isn’t bulk candy off his bill, _then_ then void $100 worth of bulk candy. That store would only be out $100 worth of merchandise instead of $250 worth. Only the bulk items are unsellable. Cans, cartons and unopened items can be put back on the shelf to sell. It would have been cool to see the look on his face if they said, wel you can’t put the bulk items back so pay for them and we’ll put the rest back. $150 worth of Jelly Bellys ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/176 "2012-10-14T03:59:39Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > And ban the jackass from the store. But, seriously, there ought to be some way existing laws on vandalism (he’s essentially forced the store to destroy merchandise) or maybe shoplifting could be applied to this jerk. Letting him skate is only encouraging more irresponsible behavior. The business theory is that you’d lose far more customers and sales than you’d recoup if you were a real hardass about it. Even if you’re technically correct. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/177 "2012-10-14T04:04:47Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > It seems that the children picked out the candy in the OP. If that is true, if the candy is out of their reach (in general - obviously some future NBA star wouldn’t have a problem), the parent would have to choose and, one hopes, would show a little more discretion and maturity. > > However, if one expects adults to show discretion and maturity, one will often be disappointed. These weren’t toddlers. Start putting them out of reach for 8 to 10 year olds and some adults won’t reach them either. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/178 "2012-10-14T07:00:24Z")
The worst abusers of bulk items are adults, from what I’ve seen. I’ve seen more than once people weighing their food, putting the sticker on it and adding extra scoops after. I’ve also seen many (typically college age) people just eating from the bin, as if it were free samples. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/179 "2012-10-14T12:34:28Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > One of the best training techniques for both dogs and small children is ignoring egregiously bad behavior that’s obviously designed to gain attention. When they behave, you engage; when they misbehave, you ignore. > Just sayin’. I’m not to sure about that. I’ve seen kids that only seem to get attention when they are acting out. When they are being good The parents use that time to do other things they percieve as more important. I think if you make it a point to spend a lot of positive time with your kids , playing, exploring, being interested in what they are doing and thinking , then they will be far more likley to understand instructions and consequences when they are being bad. OTOH, if youi’re talking about ther drama of hissy fits, I used to tell my adolesent step daughter to take her hissy fit upstairs where she wasn’t bothering anyone and she could be in a crappy mood as long as she wanted. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881/180 "2012-10-14T12:58:30Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > The business theory is that you’d lose far more customers and sales than you’d recoup if you were a real hardass about it. Even if you’re technically correct. Another “business theory” is that 1% of your customers cause 99% of your headaches. I subscribe to this theory. Maybe once a year I tell someone to leave and never come back. I say it in front of a witness, and I explain that if the person returns I will call the police. I say it in a calm, rational way with a smile on my face. Works for me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-dont-pay-attention-to-their-kids-at-the-grocery-store/636881.md?page=10)