# I pit people who have to constantly correct your grammar **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 29, 2007, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372 "2007-08-29T15:55:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2007, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/61 "2007-08-29T21:50:57Z")
[QUOTE=Xema] Others are not so inhibited. So I’ll note that you probably meant to write either “loathe doing it” or “loath to do it.” ([Link](http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000238.htm).) [/QUOTE] Wow. Thanks for the info. It reminds me of “used to” vs. “didn’t use to”, which is one of the reasons my students question the sanity of those that invented our strange language. Of course, loath vs. loathe is a difference of actual words (and not simply a rules-abiding form change), but I bet my students would think I was making it up just to torment them. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2007, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/62 "2007-08-29T21:57:40Z")
[QUOTE=Plynck] So I take it that she should stop because finding fault and correcting someone’s behavior are undesirable traits? [/QUOTE] Irony noted. But finding fault and correcting someone’s behavior repeatedly in situations where there were no great faults or behavioral flaws _is_ obnoxious. (At least, if for some reason I should be called upon to defend this judgement, I would personally find it obnoxious and I think most would feel the same way.) I mean, supposing I “corrected” you everytime you used a French loanword, or a word with the letter ‘k’ in it, or some such silliness. You’d eventually tell me to knock it off, wouldn’t you? Well, it’s basically the same thing with the type of people who respond to “Can I go to the bathroom?” with “I don’t know… _can_ you?”; even if they mean well with such actions (and they usually do), they’re not doing anything more than needlessly irritating those subjected to it. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2007, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/63 "2007-08-29T21:57:49Z")
[QUOTE=Indistinguishable] People should keep syntactic and semantic concepts clearly separated, but the layman doesn’t; it’s usually not a problem, as the layman isn’t doing much conscious linguistic analysis, but when trying to speak in an unnatural way, it may come up. [/QUOTE] Smith: I’m speaking properly, aren’t I? Jones: Yes, and I are too. ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2007, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/64 "2007-08-29T22:12:57Z")
[QUOTE=Indistinguishable] I mean, supposing I “corrected” you everytime you used a French loanword, or a word with the letter ‘k’ in it, or some such silliness. You’d eventually tell me to knock it off, wouldn’t you? [/QUOTE] If you corrected me for using a word with the letter 'k", I would not only tell you to knock it off, but to put on your khakis and ride your bike to Kankakee. 😃 [QUOTE=Indistinguishable] Irony noted. But finding fault and correcting someone’s behavior repeatedly in situations where there were no great faults or behavioral flaws _is_ obnoxious. (At least, if for some reason I should be called upon to defend this judgement, I would personally find it obnoxious and I think most would feel the same way.) [/QUOTE] Acknowledged. However, I think that in her post, she only said that it drove her bonkers, or that she twitched when she heard an infraction. A somewhat mild (and hardly obnoxious) reaction, and undeserving of the rather strongly worded response to her post. ---
**Author:** ![Carnick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carnick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnick)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2007, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/65 "2007-08-29T22:40:34Z")
I don’t understand why some people become so defensive when their grammar is corrected, as long as they explain why you made a mistake. Learning to do something right is a good thing. My grammar and spelling suck. I went my entire school career without one day of grammar studies, but I sure had a lot of creative writing classes :rolleyes: . Their plan worked I guess, since I became a professional writer who can’t spell. Everything I know I learned from people online who took the time to correct me. ---
**Author:** ![mks57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@mks57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mks57)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/66 "2007-08-29T23:42:37Z")
[QUOTE=MissTake] I will admit to doing this IRL. The Kid _always_ asks “Can I” rather than “May I” and it drives me bonkers. [/QUOTE] My mother always made a point of distinguishing between “May I” and “Can I”. She would answer the question that I asked, not the one that I thought I was asking. I always assumed that correcting your child’s mistakes was part of being a good parent. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2007, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/67 "2007-08-29T23:54:16Z")
You’ve got my number, **Shodan** : Wine, candles, and a great discussion about grammar. 🙂 Actually, full disclosure requires me to admit I generally hate discussions about grammar and I think **Miller** has the right idea for how to handle priggish hyper-correctors (the tire iron). ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/68 "2007-08-29T23:56:41Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] Smith: I’m speaking properly, aren’t I? Jones: Yes, and I are too. [/QUOTE] So this corrects it, right? Smith: I’m speaking properly, am’t I? Jones: Yes, and I am too. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/69 "2007-08-29T23:57:44Z")
[QUOTE=Snipe1978] Well let’s just be all logical and shit. [/QUOTE] Okay, I’ll be logical. But I do _not_ want to be shit. 😉 [QUOTE=mks57] I always assumed that correcting your child’s mistakes was part of being a good parent. [/QUOTE] Agreed. I try not to correct the grammar or spelling of people outside the family, but it’s my _job_ to prepare my kids for the real world, and part of that preparation is developing good language skills and teaching them to never write sentences as long as this one. [QUOTE=Giles] But in English it often makes sense to calmly, carefully, and comprehensively split infinitives. [/QUOTE] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2007, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/70 "2007-08-30T00:22:17Z")
[QUOTE=mks57] My mother always made a point of distinguishing between “May I” and “Can I”. She would answer the question that I asked, not the one that I thought I was asking. [/quote] So if you said “Can I go to the bathroom?” then she answered the question “Do I have permission?” Right? Because that is the question you would have been asking. Only a social retard would think you are really asking “Am I physically able to urinate?” > [@](#): > > I always assumed that correcting your child’s mistakes was part of being a good parent. Only if it actually a mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2007, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/71 "2007-08-30T00:34:57Z")
[QUOTE=Jamaika a jamaikaiaké] Only if it actually a mistake. [/QUOTE] For the old-fashioned among us who preserve the distinction between “can” (to be able to) and “may” (to have premission to), misuse of one for the other _is_ a mistake. And don’t say they are interchangeable, because in my profession they aren’t. My mother also was irked by imprecision in using can/may, and if you’re going to call my momma a “retard” you’d better be smiling or running or both. ---
**Author:** ![mks57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@mks57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mks57)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/72 "2007-08-30T00:37:52Z")
[QUOTE=Jamaika a jamaikaiaké] So if you said “Can I go to the bathroom?” then she answered the question “Do I have permission?” Right? Because that is the question you would have been asking. Only a social retard would think you are really asking “Am I physically able to urinate?” [/QUOTE] She would say something like “You are physically capable of walking to the bathroom, aren’t you?”, and she isn’t a social retard. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2007, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/73 "2007-08-30T00:53:54Z")
[QUOTE=Plynck] Acknowledged. However, I think that in her post, she only said that it drove her bonkers, or that she twitched when she heard an infraction. A somewhat mild (and hardly obnoxious) reaction, and undeserving of the rather strongly worded response to her post. [/QUOTE] No, the first sentence of her post indicated that she corrected people’s grammar in real life, and then I took the next 2 sentences to be (implied) examples of when she does it. Sorry if I misinterpreted. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2007, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/74 "2007-08-30T01:09:49Z")
[QUOTE=mks57] She would say something like “You are physically capable of walking to the bathroom, aren’t you?”, and she isn’t a social retard. [/QUOTE] I’m not claiming she is (I guess it does seem that way, sorry. I really posted to hastliy.). I don’t believe that she really didn’t know that “Can I?” isn’t used to ask for permission. I _do_ believe that she didn’t like it and chose to be difficult instead of answering your question. > [@Jodi](#): > > For the old-fashioned among us who preserve the distinction between “can” (to be able to) and “may” (to have premission to), misuse of one for the other is a mistake. I asked a sociolinguist how to respond to this, and she said, “Language changes. Suck it up.” > [@Jodi](#): > > And don’t say they are interchangeable, because in my profession they aren’t. Of course they aren’t interchangeable. “May I?” never means “Am I physically able to?” 😉 (I know what you meant) Seriously, though, what is your profession? ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2007, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/75 "2007-08-30T01:30:59Z")
[QUOTE=Jodi] And don’t say they are interchangeable, because in my profession they aren’t. [/QUOTE] What profession is that? ETA: Oh, I missed the last line above this post. Well, then… Well, I’ll just add this: if your profession has some specialized preserved jargon, that’s great, but why should we all have to follow it in our ordinary conversation? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2007, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/76 "2007-08-30T01:35:00Z")
[QUOTE=Jamaika a jamaikaiaké] I asked a sociolinguist how to respond to this, and she said, “Language changes. Suck it up.” [/quote] Yeah? Well, language evolves dynamically, not by force, so if people choose to prefer the old way of doing things, they are not wrong to do so. And if your sociolinguist doesn’t like it, he or she can suck it up. > [@Jamaika a jamaikaiaké](#): > > Seriously, though, what is your profession? > [@Indistinguishable](#): > > What profession is that? I’m a lawyer. THAT’S RIGHT I SAID IT. 😉 ETA to add: YOU don’t have to follow it, but you are hardly in a position to say that I can’t, or my mother can’t, or that she is definitionally wrong to teach me to do so. To some people, there is reason to preserve the distinction. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2007, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/77 "2007-08-30T01:40:40Z")
[QUOTE=Jodi] Yeah? Well, language evolves dynamically, not by force, so if people choose to prefer the old way of doing things, they are not wrong to do so. And if your sociolinguist doesn’t like it, he or she can suck it up. [/quote] Actually, I agree with this. I have no beef with you preserving the old distinction between ‘may’ and ‘can’ in your own speech. However, “correcting” someone who uses the newer usage would be an example of using force, no? ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2007, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/78 "2007-08-30T01:43:27Z")
I don’t normally correct other peoples grammar mistakes. But there is one that drives me bonkers. “Me and Joanie went to the mall.” I usually answer something like that with “Umgawa”. Then when they ask, I point out that they are talking like Tarzan. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2007, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/79 "2007-08-30T01:48:41Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] I don’t normally correct other peoples grammar mistakes. But there is one that drives me bonkers. “Me and Joanie went to the mall.” I usually answer something like that with “Umgawa”. Then when they ask, I point out that they are talking like Tarzan. [/QUOTE] So people speak in an overwhelmingly common and ordinary way, the manner they absorbed, as with pretty much all spoken language, from the speech of those in the community around them, a manner which is perfectly clear and understandable, and you intentionally choose to be rudely mocking and disruptive in response? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2007, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372/80 "2007-08-30T02:00:35Z")
[QUOTE=Jamaika a jamaikaiaké] Actually, I agree with this. I have no beef with you preserving the old distinction between ‘may’ and ‘can’ in your own speech. However, “correcting” someone who uses the newer usage would be an example of using force, no? [/QUOTE] Not if it’s your own kid, no. (And it was **MissTake’s** kid.) Part of raising a child is teaching them appropriate speech IYO. “Force” encompasses a lot of parenting; just ask a toddler. 🙂 But I am no fan of correcting other adults’ language. It’s six kinds of rude. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-have-to-constantly-correct-your-grammar/417372.md?page=5)