Wow. Thanks for the info. It reminds me of “used to” vs. “didn’t use to”, which is one of the reasons my students question the sanity of those that invented our strange language. Of course, loath vs. loathe is a difference of actual words (and not simply a rules-abiding form change), but I bet my students would think I was making it up just to torment them.
Irony noted. But finding fault and correcting someone’s behavior repeatedly in situations where there were no great faults or behavioral flaws is obnoxious. (At least, if for some reason I should be called upon to defend this judgement, I would personally find it obnoxious and I think most would feel the same way.)
I mean, supposing I “corrected” you everytime you used a French loanword, or a word with the letter ‘k’ in it, or some such silliness. You’d eventually tell me to knock it off, wouldn’t you? Well, it’s basically the same thing with the type of people who respond to “Can I go to the bathroom?” with “I don’t know… can you?”; even if they mean well with such actions (and they usually do), they’re not doing anything more than needlessly irritating those subjected to it.
Smith: I’m speaking properly, aren’t I?
Jones: Yes, and I are too.
If you corrected me for using a word with the letter 'k", I would not only tell you to knock it off, but to put on your khakis and ride your bike to Kankakee. 
Acknowledged. However, I think that in her post, she only said that it drove her bonkers, or that she twitched when she heard an infraction. A somewhat mild (and hardly obnoxious) reaction, and undeserving of the rather strongly worded response to her post.
I don’t understand why some people become so defensive when their grammar is corrected, as long as they explain why you made a mistake. Learning to do something right is a good thing. My grammar and spelling suck. I went my entire school career without one day of grammar studies, but I sure had a lot of creative writing classes :rolleyes: . Their plan worked I guess, since I became a professional writer who can’t spell. Everything I know I learned from people online who took the time to correct me.
My mother always made a point of distinguishing between “May I” and “Can I”. She would answer the question that I asked, not the one that I thought I was asking. I always assumed that correcting your child’s mistakes was part of being a good parent.
You’ve got my number, Shodan: Wine, candles, and a great discussion about grammar. 
Actually, full disclosure requires me to admit I generally hate discussions about grammar and I think Miller has the right idea for how to handle priggish hyper-correctors (the tire iron).
So this corrects it, right?
Smith: I’m speaking properly, am’t I?
Jones: Yes, and I am too.
Okay, I’ll be logical. But I do not want to be shit. 
Agreed. I try not to correct the grammar or spelling of people outside the family, but it’s my job to prepare my kids for the real world, and part of that preparation is developing good language skills and teaching them to never write sentences as long as this one.
So if you said “Can I go to the bathroom?” then she answered the question “Do I have permission?” Right? Because that is the question you would have been asking. Only a social retard would think you are really asking “Am I physically able to urinate?”
Only if it actually a mistake.
For the old-fashioned among us who preserve the distinction between “can” (to be able to) and “may” (to have premission to), misuse of one for the other is a mistake.
And don’t say they are interchangeable, because in my profession they aren’t.
My mother also was irked by imprecision in using can/may, and if you’re going to call my momma a “retard” you’d better be smiling or running or both.
She would say something like “You are physically capable of walking to the bathroom, aren’t you?”, and she isn’t a social retard.
No, the first sentence of her post indicated that she corrected people’s grammar in real life, and then I took the next 2 sentences to be (implied) examples of when she does it. Sorry if I misinterpreted.
I’m not claiming she is (I guess it does seem that way, sorry. I really posted to hastliy.). I don’t believe that she really didn’t know that “Can I?” isn’t used to ask for permission. I do believe that she didn’t like it and chose to be difficult instead of answering your question.
I asked a sociolinguist how to respond to this, and she said, “Language changes. Suck it up.”
Of course they aren’t interchangeable. “May I?” never means “Am I physically able to?” (I know what you meant)
Seriously, though, what is your profession?
What profession is that?
ETA: Oh, I missed the last line above this post. Well, then…
Well, I’ll just add this: if your profession has some specialized preserved jargon, that’s great, but why should we all have to follow it in our ordinary conversation?
Yeah? Well, language evolves dynamically, not by force, so if people choose to prefer the old way of doing things, they are not wrong to do so. And if your sociolinguist doesn’t like it, he or she can suck it up.
I’m a lawyer. THAT’S RIGHT I SAID IT.
ETA to add: YOU don’t have to follow it, but you are hardly in a position to say that I can’t, or my mother can’t, or that she is definitionally wrong to teach me to do so. To some people, there is reason to preserve the distinction.
Actually, I agree with this. I have no beef with you preserving the old distinction between ‘may’ and ‘can’ in your own speech. However, “correcting” someone who uses the newer usage would be an example of using force, no?
I don’t normally correct other peoples grammar mistakes. But there is one that drives me bonkers.
“Me and Joanie went to the mall.”
I usually answer something like that with “Umgawa”. Then when they ask, I point out that they are talking like Tarzan.
So people speak in an overwhelmingly common and ordinary way, the manner they absorbed, as with pretty much all spoken language, from the speech of those in the community around them, a manner which is perfectly clear and understandable, and you intentionally choose to be rudely mocking and disruptive in response?
Not if it’s your own kid, no. (And it was MissTake’s kid.) Part of raising a child is teaching them appropriate speech IYO. “Force” encompasses a lot of parenting; just ask a toddler.
But I am no fan of correcting other adults’ language. It’s six kinds of rude.