# I pit people who talk to themselves in front of others **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 19, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231 "2013-09-19T14:47:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/1 "2013-09-19T14:47:59Z")
Making unintelligible speech-like noises is a passive-aggressive ploy for attention. Speech is for communicating with others; silent thoughts are for communicating with yourself. Social obligation requires that people respond when you make noises like you are speaking, and when people interrupt what I’m doing again and again for literally no reason at all besides the fact that they supposedly could not help making such noises, I refuse to accept this as a harmless quirk. I’m onto you, mumblers, grunters, and "oh, I wasn’t talking to YOU, only other person within earshot, I was just talking to MYSELF"ers. Your hostile actions have been noted and your facade of decency has been recognized! If you genuinely have Tourette’s, I’m sorry, but that does need to be part of your explanation for your behavior, and maybe you can preface the things you say that should not be ignored with a particular word or something. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/2 "2013-09-19T14:58:25Z")
“hmmm, maybe if I tried rolling back the bios it would work, …darned thing…, was that F8 on boot-up or is it F9”? A lot of people “think out loud”. Most of them are not paying the LEAST bit of attention to whether someone near them is paying attention to them, it’s just a way of working out a problem, organizing thoughts etc. Don’t make it all about you. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/3 "2013-09-19T15:15:46Z")
If I can distinctly hear what they are saying and it’s obviously not to me, okay, I can usually tune it out pretty easily, but when there is a good chance they could be speaking directly to me, now I have to either rudely ignore them or ask them what they said. Maybe it doesn’t start out being about me, but when they won’t stop and my thought process is repeatedly interrupted, there is no way around the fact that they have dragged me into their situation. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/4 "2013-09-19T15:24:59Z")
So put on a pair of headphones. Or don’t respond unless they say your name. Jeez. You’re as bad as my husband. I’m working at home, muttering something I’m trying to figure out and he’s all “WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?” I didn’t say ANYTHING to you dumbass - you’re clear on the other side of the room. Wouldn’t I perhaps say something like, “Hey husband”? Not be muttering? And now you’ve interrupted ME, and I have to start all over. If I want to say something TO you you’ll damned well know it. Sorry - pet peeve of mine. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/5 "2013-09-19T15:32:22Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > So put on a pair of headphones. Or don’t respond unless they say your name. Jeez. You’re as bad as my husband. I’m working at home, muttering something I’m trying to figure out and he’s all “WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?” I didn’t say ANYTHING to you dumbass - you’re clear on the other side of the room. Wouldn’t I perhaps say something like, “Hey husband”? Not be muttering? And now you’ve interrupted ME, and I have to start all over. If I want to say something TO you you’ll damned well know it. > > Sorry - pet peeve of mine. You think I should wear headphones every second of my life and assume that the default is that no one is actually talking to me ever? This would solve nothing. You’re the one speaking audibly to yourself while your husband is in the room, no doubt engaged in his own activity. My daughter used to vocalize her every thought–when she was three. It was uncharming even then, and I put a stop to it so she would not spend the rest of her life irritating others and thinking that they were the dumbasses in the room. ---
**Author:** ![want2befree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3e96dc/32.png) [@want2befree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2befree)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/6 "2013-09-19T15:35:18Z")
I’m with Missy U. Some of us just talk to ourselves (or the TV). Get over it. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/7 "2013-09-19T15:39:38Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > You think I should wear headphones every second of my life and assume that the default is that no one is actually talking to me ever? Yes. And a ball-gag when you’re in public and boxing gloves when you get near a computer. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/8 "2013-09-19T15:48:19Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > Yes. And a ball-gag when you’re in public and boxing gloves when you get near a computer. Yes, my desire to not be constantly bothered for nothing certainly means I am not worthy of actual interaction with others. Only people that talk to themselves should get to enjoy that privilege. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/9 "2013-09-19T16:00:20Z")
It doesn’t seem to me that you’re in any way actually complaining about what you’re complaining about. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/10 "2013-09-19T16:06:41Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > It doesn’t seem to me that you’re in any way actually complaining about what you’re complaining about. Then how do you know what I’m complaining about? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/11 "2013-09-19T16:11:50Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Yes, my desire to not be constantly bothered for nothing certainly means I am not worthy of actual interaction with others. Only people that talk to themselves should get to enjoy that privilege. Well it just seems that being in proximity to people causes you to have to deal with perfectly normal things they say and do, and that this troubles you because you take their idiosyncrasies as personal, intentional affronts to your sensibilities. As a remedy, I would recommend you do what you can to abstain from further contact with human beings so we can all be as offensive as we want to each other. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/12 "2013-09-19T16:16:06Z")
> [@want2befree](#): > > I’m with Missy U. Some of us just talk to ourselves (or the TV). Get over it. This. I often talk to things like a part I’m trying to replace. I even called them a few choice names when they don’t cooperate. I’ve been alone in my car when I’ve commented on the lack of legitimacy of another driver’s parents marriage after that driver demonstrated particularly poor driving skills. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/13 "2013-09-19T16:18:42Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > Well it just seems that being in proximity to people causes you to have to deal with perfectly normal things they say and do, and that this troubles you because you take their idiosyncrasies as personal, intentional affronts to your sensibilities. As a remedy, I would recommend you do what you can to abstain from further contact with human beings so we can all be as offensive as we want to each other. I’m a human being too, and I enjoy interacting with other humans. The human self-talkers I speak of would be very upset if I terminated contact with them. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/14 "2013-09-19T16:20:35Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > I’m a human being too, and I enjoy interacting with other humans. The human self-talkers I speak of would be very upset if I terminated contact with them. Yep - I’m know I’M heartbroken. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/15 "2013-09-19T16:21:35Z")
How can you tell that they’re talking to themselves? Everyone wanders around talking to themselves these days - then you notice the bluedouche in their ear. ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/16 "2013-09-19T16:22:02Z")
Well, the OP could be a little more clear, but I might be on board here. I know on my daily bus ride, there are a few people who like to blurt out idiotic statements for no good goddamn reason. These are not mentally ill people, more like people that can’t stand not having someone pay attention to them for 10 minutes, so feel like they need to draw attention to themselves once in a while. It annoys the shit out of me. Those of you talking to yourself in front of your computer at work…carry on. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/17 "2013-09-19T16:32:12Z")
I’m referring to circumstances where it is unclear that the person is talking to themselves, which means that I have to respond or risk them thinking I am rudely ignoring them as they try to speak to me. There is nothing “it’s all about me” about inquiring further when the only other person in the room has spoken or vocalized. If you are obviously talking to the TV or whatever, that doesn’t bother me, but being pulled away from what I am doing or thinking about because someone else has to make frequent useless noises to remind everyone else they exist is unpleasant. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/18 "2013-09-19T17:15:54Z")
Here is why you are being accused of making this all about you: you are assuming the utterances are being made “to remind everyone else they exist” and that this behavior “is a passive-aggressive ploy for attention.” Rather than believe some folks just talk to themselves despite how you feel about it, you are assuming they do it to bother YOU. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/19 "2013-09-19T17:40:04Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > Here is why you are being accused of making this all about you: you are assuming the utterances are being made “to remind everyone else they exist” and that this behavior “is a passive-aggressive ploy for attention.” > > Rather than believe some folks just talk to themselves despite how you feel about it, you are assuming they do it to bother YOU. People don’t “just do things,” there are always reasons. They might not be aware of the reasons and I may not know what they are either, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. When someone does the exact same thing they would do to get the attention of another person the hypothesis that they are doing that thing in order to get attention is hardly out of left field. When they insist that they are not doing it to gain attention in spite of the fact that attention is the typical result, and when they repeat the behavior in spite of being told how annoying it is and why, then maybe there is a bit more going on than they are innocently just trying to have a nice conversation with themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231/20 "2013-09-19T18:27:03Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > People don’t “just do things,” there are always reasons. Correct. I am about to do a “thing”. The OP needs to learn the universe doesn’t revolve around them. My reason for doing the “thing” above: I felt like it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-talk-to-themselves-in-front-of-others/669231.md?page=2)