# I Pit people who use the word "retarded" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 2, 2011, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091 "2011-01-02T00:02:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rumor\_Watkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/21 "2011-01-02T02:34:13Z")
your hypersensitivity is retarded. words by themselves have no meaning - context is king. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/22 "2011-01-02T02:35:11Z")
I hate people who only use politically correct speech. I think they talk like a fag, and their shit’s all retarded. ---
**Author:** ![Rumor\_Watkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/23 "2011-01-02T02:37:04Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I hate people who only use politically correct speech. I think they talk like a fag, and their shit’s all retarded. hate is such a strong word. you offend me, sir. ---
**Author:** ![Fish\_Nya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@Fish\_Nya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish_Nya)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/24 "2011-01-02T02:40:43Z")
Wow, it’s great that so many people stick up for the use of the word “retarded.” I mean, it’s not like a lot of medical fields are actually rejecting the term “retarded” as a condition anymore, or as if advocacy groups are also talking about getting beyond the word. [Oh,](http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevisions/Pages/proposedrevision.aspx?rid=384#) [wait.](https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/List_of_disability-related_terms_with_negative_connotations#R) When you use a word that is considered to be part of a person’s identity as an insult, you are insulting that identity. When you say something bad is “gay” you are saying being gay is bad. You might not mean it but you are. When you call an asshole or someone who is ignorant or stupid “retarded” you are saying people with disabilities are those things. You can’t say you are using it the medical way because you are not a doctor. Or, if you are, you can not make a diagnostic because they are not your patient. And either way, “mental retardation” as that diagnosis is fading. And the whole “idiot used to mean this” and “moron” and all that stuff- no. The average person don’t know the root of those words. If you ask someone what does moron mean they will say “a stupid person” or something. If you ask what retard or retarded means, most people will think of a person who is mentally disabled. I use “retard” and “gay” and “lame” for negative things. Only, I’m trying to stop. And it is hard- these are word that I never really thought about for most of my life. And I hate that people told me that it was ableist or homophobic of me to use them- I’m not those things. But my use of the words was. Me using them after people have told me it offends them is saying that me using an offensive word was more important than the feelings of those it offends innocently. I used to think that political correctness was stupid. That people only did it to gain points for being more moral than everyone else. Except it’s not about morality or politics. It’s about being a decent person. If your sister/brother/mother/father/best friend said “you know, it hurts me when you do/say [this].” most people would try to stop. Because they value that person’s feelings. We don’t do this over the internet because we are pretty anonymous. I don’t know the person who said that they didn’t like me saying “retard” so fuck them. They are just over-sensitive! And yes, this response is kinda all over the place. I rewrote and deleted several part while writing it. And it is a bit long. This is because one of my resolutions was to remove these slurs from my vocabulary. I have friends who have had these words used to demean and degrade them. I don’t want to have them be reminded of all the jackasses in the world just so I can say “that movie was retarded.” I would rather be PC to not hurt people on accident than an ass. ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/25 "2011-01-02T02:42:07Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > And no, “retard” is not the same thing as “faggot” or “nigger.” Just like “cunt” is worse than “bitch” and “motherfucker” is worse than “poopyhead.” What’s the deal with “cunt”? I know it is typically used with somewhat stronger intentions of offense, but other than that, why is it intrinsically so much worse than “bitch”? Am I missing something about its origin? ---
**Author:** ![Rumor\_Watkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/26 "2011-01-02T02:43:42Z")
> [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > Wow, it’s great that so many people stick up for the use of the word “retarded.” I mean, it’s not like a lot of medical fields are actually rejecting the term “retarded” as a condition anymore, or as if advocacy groups are also talking about getting beyond the word. > > [Oh,](http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevisions/Pages/proposedrevision.aspx?rid=384#) [wait.](https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/List_of_disability-related_terms_with_negative_connotations#R) > > When you use a word that is considered to be part of a person’s identity as an insult, you are insulting that identity. When you say something bad is “gay” you are saying being gay is bad. You might not mean it but you are. When you call an asshole or someone who is ignorant or stupid “retarded” you are saying people with disabilities are those things. well if it’s being rejected by the community as an identity, then you can’t very well insult that identity by using the rejected identifying word, now can you? retard. ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/27 "2011-01-02T02:48:37Z")
> [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > Except it’s not about morality or politics. It’s about being a decent person. If your sister/brother/mother/father/best friend said “you know, it hurts me when you do/say [this].” most people would try to stop. Because they value that person’s feelings. Being a decent person who values others feelings is not in contradiction with the observation that some people are overly sensitive, take themselves too seriously, and have no sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/28 "2011-01-02T02:50:37Z")
> [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > Wow, it’s great that so many people stick up for the use of the word “retarded.” I mean, it’s not like a lot of medical fields are actually rejecting the term “retarded” as a condition anymore, or as if advocacy groups are also talking about getting beyond the word. > > [Oh,](http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevisions/Pages/proposedrevision.aspx?rid=384#) [wait.](https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/List_of_disability-related_terms_with_negative_connotations#R) > > When you use a word that is considered to be part of a person’s identity as an insult, you are insulting that identity. When you say something bad is “gay” you are saying being gay is bad. You might not mean it but you are. When you call an asshole or someone who is ignorant or stupid “retarded” you are saying people with disabilities are those things. This is a good example of why context is so important. Because, while everything you say here is true, it’s also entirely irrelevant: in the thread that has the OP so riled up, the word was not being used in an insulting manner. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/29 "2011-01-02T02:51:56Z")
> [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > Wow, it’s great that so many people stick up for the use of the word “retarded.” I mean, it’s not like a lot of medical fields are actually rejecting the term “retarded” as a condition anymore, or as if advocacy groups are also talking about getting beyond the word. > > [Oh,](http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevisions/Pages/proposedrevision.aspx?rid=384#) [wait.](https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/List_of_disability-related_terms_with_negative_connotations#R) > > When you use a word that is considered to be part of a person’s identity as an insult, you are insulting that identity. When you say something bad is “gay” you are saying being gay is bad. You might not mean it but you are. When you call an asshole or someone who is ignorant or stupid “retarded” you are saying people with disabilities are those things. > > You can’t say you are using it the medical way because you are not a doctor. Or, if you are, you can not make a diagnostic because they are not your patient. And either way, “mental retardation” as that diagnosis is fading. > > And the whole “idiot used to mean this” and “moron” and all that stuff- no. The average person don’t know the root of those words. If you ask someone what does moron mean they will say “a stupid person” or something. If you ask what retard or retarded means, most people will think of a person who is mentally disabled. > > I use “retard” and “gay” and “lame” for negative things. Only, I’m trying to stop. And it is hard- these are word that I never really thought about for most of my life. And I hate that people told me that it was ableist or homophobic of me to use them- I’m not those things. But my use of the words was. Me using them after people have told me it offends them is saying that me using an offensive word was more important than the feelings of those it offends innocently. > > I used to think that political correctness was stupid. That people only did it to gain points for being more moral than everyone else. Except it’s not about morality or politics. It’s about being a decent person. If your sister/brother/mother/father/best friend said “you know, it hurts me when you do/say [this].” most people would try to stop. Because they value that person’s feelings. > > We don’t do this over the internet because we are pretty anonymous. I don’t know the person who said that they didn’t like me saying “retard” so fuck them. They are just over-sensitive! > > And yes, this response is kinda all over the place. I rewrote and deleted several part while writing it. And it is a bit long. This is because one of my resolutions was to remove these slurs from my vocabulary. I have friends who have had these words used to demean and degrade them. I don’t want to have them be reminded of all the jackasses in the world just so I can say “that movie was retarded.” I would rather be PC to not hurt people on accident than an ass. Fish Nye- You put my feelings better than I could have! You explained EXACTLY why I find the word objectionable, thank you! ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/30 "2011-01-02T02:55:50Z")
> [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > When you use a word that is considered to be part of a person’s identity as an insult, you are insulting that identity. When you say something bad is “gay” you are saying being gay is bad. You might not mean it but you are. When you call an asshole or someone who is ignorant or stupid “retarded” you are saying people with disabilities are those things. Being retarded is bad. Nobody calls an asshole a retard. Unless they’re also acting retarded. Quit being so special needs. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/31 "2011-01-02T03:04:05Z")
Hey guys! Here’s a [link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=591264) to the original topic, by the way! Next time don’t be so retarded and include it in your OP. ---
**Author:** ![Fish\_Nya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@Fish\_Nya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish_Nya)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/32 "2011-01-02T03:15:42Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > This is a good example of why context is so important. Because, while everything you say here is true, it’s also entirely irrelevant: the usage of the word that got the OP so riled up was not using it in an insulting manner. I can’t speak for the OP but it doesn’t matter if the comment that made them post this was “in an insulting manner” or not. From what I understood that was just the final straw. Several people in this thread have stated that “retard” is just another word, just a description. Except how it’s not. [QUOTE=iamnotbatman] Being a decent person who values others feelings is not in contradiction with the observation that some people are overly sensitive, take themselves too seriously, and have no sense of humor. [/QUOTE] The whole “can’t you take a joke” thing has been used by so many people over the years as a way of erasing other people it’s not even funny. And the idea that someone is over sensitive is insulting, too. Sure, some people might be. Or they might just face something over and over again that it acts like a trigger. It might be just a joke or something funny to you, but to the other person it might just be the Nth time they’ve heard that joke or insult in a day. You are saying that they have no right to find something offensive, that it is wrong for them to do so. People deal with issues others use as joke in their real life. I am not offended myself the use of retard as an insult. But I _know that it is offensive._ The person who is offended is not over-sensitive. I’m just not as sensitive as them. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/33 "2011-01-02T03:22:49Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > The poster didn’t call Dick Clark retarded. He said he sounded retarded. Which he does, bless him. Should the poster have said Dick Clark sounds Palin-American? > > Seriously, what word was he supposed to use? Senile? (I think Satan finally repossessed the portrait that was doing Clark’s aging for him.) ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/34 "2011-01-02T03:24:45Z")
My niece is retarded. Her parents refer to her as ‘retarded’ and have since she was first diagnosed as a very young child. She’s not ‘slow’, nor ‘challenged’, nor ‘delayed’ for fuck’s sake. She lives life as an independent-living, job-holding, car-driving not-too-bright 15-year old, whose chronological age is 49. “Retarded” is only offensive if used in an offensive manner, unlike nigger or faggot, which are nearly always hurled as insults. The OP is way off base with that comparison. That said, in my opinion, the word “retarded” is used entirely too frequently by younger people as a descriptive for people who are behaving in manners that are not at all representative of the mentally retarded. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/35 "2011-01-02T03:25:20Z")
I don’t know why “cunt” is worse than “bitch”. Just like I don’t know why “dick” is worse than “jerk”. I just know they are. ---
**Author:** ![Fish\_Nya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@Fish\_Nya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish_Nya)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/36 "2011-01-02T03:34:06Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Being retarded is bad. > > Nobody calls an asshole a retard. Unless they’re also acting retarded. > > Quit being so special needs. No. Being a person with mental disabilities is not good or bad, it’s just a thing you can be. A person can face problems because of that, but what they are is not anything. Being blind is not bad. Being deaf is not bad. Being disabled in anyway is _not bad._ The effects of something being bad is different than the thing itself being bad. Having disabilities is not bad. Being unable to do something you want, facing discrimination your whole life, and being constantly made fun of= bad. If I suddenly became blind of deaf or lost any other capability that I currently have, that would suck. I like seeing and hearing. But I’m not “good” because I can.I am better at seeing and hear, yes, but I’m not a better person. Identities are not bad. Being something is not bad (unless it is only something you are after doing something wrong, like murderer or rapist or something). Ranking things as bad, good, better, and worse are what leads to people being devalued as human beings. ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/37 "2011-01-02T03:40:24Z")
> [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > The whole “can’t you take a joke” thing has been used by so many people over the years as a way of erasing other people it’s not even funny. …So? > [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > And the idea that someone is over sensitive is insulting, too. Perhaps because it is true? > [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > Sure, some people might be. Or they might just face something over and over again that it acts like a trigger. It might be just a joke or something funny to you, but to the other person it might just be the Nth time they’ve heard that joke or insult in a day. You seem to be describing some sort of psychosis. The same is true of some war veterans with PTSD. Should we _never_ use the term “shell” or “duck” in everyday conversation? Where do you draw the line? > [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > You are saying that they have no right to find something offensive, that it is wrong for them to do so. People deal with issues others use as joke in their real life. Actually, yes. They have no sense of fucking humor. No levity. Ever heard of gallows humor? I’ve been pretty sick before in my own life, and I have had family members who have been very sick, been seriously injured, and died. In all cases we all were able to make a good joke about it every once in a while. Hell, I’ve known gays who call each other fags. Even cancer can be funny if you have an enlightened, “tale told by an idiot” outlook on life. Grow up, grow a pair, and don’t take yourself so goddam seriously you fucking retard pussy asshole. > [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > I am not offended myself the use of retard as an insult. But I _know that it is offensive._ The person who is offended is not over-sensitive. I’m just not as sensitive as them. Bullshit logic. How do you know they aren’t over sensitive? ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/38 "2011-01-02T03:49:20Z")
> [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > If I suddenly became blind of deaf or lost any other capability that I currently have, that would suck. So, it would be a bad thing to happen to you? > [@](#): > > I like seeing and hearing. But I’m not “good” because I can.I am better at seeing and hear, yes, but I’m not a better person. Yeah, I never said it made a person bad. Nice straw man. Being disabled in anyway is clearly bad though. Same thing with being ugly or unathletic or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/39 "2011-01-02T04:02:59Z")
No one in this thread has said that disabled people are bad people. But their disability _is a bad thing_. That’s the definition of a disability. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091/40 "2011-01-02T04:11:32Z")
Words are only words. They cannot hurt you unless you decide to be injured. Being angry about other peoples use of a word and attacking them for it is an attempt to CONTROL what other people do and say rather than dealing with your own feelings about it. Now _that_ is retarded. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-use-the-word-retarded/566091.md?page=3)