# I pit people who waste my time on this board. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 15, 2009, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941 "2009-02-15T12:12:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/101 "2009-02-18T18:23:25Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Why don’t we all smoke? Smoking kills, **Liberal** , so this qualifies as wishing death on everyone. The consequences will be dire if you do this again. The consequences will be even worse if you make this wish while holding the Monkey’s Paw of Al Hazar, which grants wishes but carries a terrible curse. ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Neighbor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hi_neighbor/32/494_2.png) [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/102 "2009-02-18T18:43:01Z")
I once pooped out a nickel, but I don’t remember ever eating one. ---
**Author:** ![Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seeker_of_Truth_and_Beauty)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/103 "2009-02-18T18:52:59Z")
> [@Hi\_Neighbor](#): > > I once pooped out a nickel, but I don’t remember ever eating one. I want to know why you were rummaging through your fecal matter. And were you wearing gloves? And could you feel something … odd… leaving your rectum at the time of passage? Inquiring minds want to know. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/104 "2009-02-18T18:56:11Z")
Rectum? Damn near killed 'im! Thank you … I’m here all week. ---
**Author:** ![Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seeker_of_Truth_and_Beauty)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/105 "2009-02-18T18:57:51Z")
How’s the veal? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/106 "2009-02-18T18:58:38Z")
Sucks. And fuck the waitstaff too. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/107 "2009-02-18T19:01:12Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Smoking kills, **Liberal** , so this qualifies as wishing death on everyone. The consequences will be dire if you do this again. The consequences will be even worse if you make this wish while holding the Monkey’s Paw of Al Hazar, which grants wishes but carries a terrible curse. I am woe to the vail. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/108 "2009-02-18T19:02:26Z")
> [@Seeker of Truth & Beauty](#): > > I want to know why you were rummaging through your fecal matter. And were you wearing gloves? And could you feel something … odd… leaving your rectum at the time of passage? > > Inquiring minds want to know. No. No, they don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seeker_of_Truth_and_Beauty)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/109 "2009-02-18T19:12:44Z")
Speaking of rectums, mine’s been leaking a bit lately. It irritates me (not to mention irritating my anus). Any ideas on what I should do? ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/110 "2009-02-18T19:14:16Z")
> [@Hi\_Neighbor](#): > > I once pooped out a nickel, but I don’t remember ever eating one. Five pennies? A dime and piss for change? ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Neighbor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hi_neighbor/32/494_2.png) [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/111 "2009-02-18T19:54:31Z")
Money comes out of my ass. So why am I complaining? Because it’s a very serious medical condition. On a lighter note, bones of six bodies were recently found in New Mexico. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/112 "2009-02-18T19:56:12Z")
> [@Seeker of Truth & Beauty](#): > > I want to know why you were rummaging through your fecal matter. And were you wearing gloves? And could you feel something … odd… leaving your rectum at the time of passage? > > Inquiring minds want to know. That reminds me of the joke about the pet monkey and the pool ball. ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/113 "2009-02-18T19:58:41Z")
> [@Seeker of Truth & Beauty](#): > > Speaking of rectums, mine’s been leaking a bit lately. It irritates me (not to mention irritating my anus). Any ideas on what I should do? Oh no, not another _butthurt_ thread! ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Neighbor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hi_neighbor/32/494_2.png) [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/114 "2009-02-18T20:02:25Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > That reminds me of the joke about the pet monkey and the pool ball. And that reminds \*me \*of the time my dad got drunk and abused me. ---
**Author:** ![Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seeker_of_Truth_and_Beauty)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/115 "2009-02-18T20:48:34Z")
> [@Hi\_Neighbor](#): > > And that reminds \*me \*of the time my dad got drunk and abused me. Hey _hey_ now! This is a FAMILY board! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/116 "2009-02-18T21:40:07Z")
> [@Hi\_Neighbor](#): > > Money comes out of my ass. So why am I complaining? Because it’s a very serious medical condition. … It’s odd that so many retail clerks resist accepting cash dispensed from your ass. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/117 "2009-02-19T03:46:03Z")
> [@Hi\_Neighbor](#): > > I once pooped out a nickel, but I don’t remember ever eating one. I once swallowed an nickel, but I don’t remember ever pooping it out. ---
**Author:** ![Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seeker_of_Truth_and_Beauty)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/118 "2009-02-19T03:48:14Z")
Bend over, I’ll check. ---
**Author:** ![Carson\_O\_Genic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Carson\_O\_Genic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carson_O_Genic)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/119 "2009-02-19T11:21:36Z")
> [@Seeker of Truth & Beauty](#): > > Speaking of rectums, mine’s been leaking a bit lately. It irritates me (not to mention irritating my anus). Any ideas on what I should do? Stopper, gum rubber, unbored. SWAG, #6 ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941/120 "2009-02-20T20:03:05Z")
> [@Seeker of Truth & Beauty](#): > > Hey _hey_ now! This is a FAMILY board! It has a wife board and two little baby boards at home. [/shamelessly stolen from Dave Barry] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-people-who-waste-my-time-on-this-board/485941.md?page=7)