# I Pit Premature Sex and the Importance of Sex (especially in Western culture) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 15, 2012, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127 "2012-11-15T20:53:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/81 "2012-11-17T01:42:30Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > You see, this is why people keep telling you that your reasoning and debating skills are so lacking. > This was your response to my post. Yet I neither said nor implied any such thing. > > And your nonsense about the differences between the villages and cities in India, is laughable. But then you don’t rely on any actual evidence. This ‘it’s only in the villages’ response is getting old, and is extremely lame, mostly because it’s demonstrably untrue. > > Come back when can think, how be? That was one thing that I said and I agree it was slightly out of context (sorry I messed up). I mentioned it because someone earlier thought I was lecturing other kids. The differences between the villages and cities in India are true! I am from India so I would know! This is what my dad told me, and he lived in India for 25-30 years. We would know. Don’t try to question this. It’s true that a lot of the unfair and extremely traditional beliefs are only evident in the villages. This is the one thing you have to believe me on because I would know as I’m Indian, and my parents grew up in India. We are US citizens by the way. And as a side note, you may want to reread my clean-up more carefully because I actually explain how this is one of the very few topics that I’m not using much reasoning in. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/82 "2012-11-17T01:50:56Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > The clean-up was not my response to your post. This was a response to clear up some misconceptions. I am not actually going to bother responding to your post because honestly, I don’t really care that much anymore. > > The differences between the villages and cities in India are true! I am from India so I would know! This is what my dad told me, and he lived in India for 25-30 years. We would know. Don’t try to question this. It’s true that a lot of the unfair and extremely traditional beliefs are only evident in the villages. This is the one thing you have to believe me on because I would know as I’m Indian, and my parents grew up in India. We are US citizens by the way. > > And as a side note, you may want to reread my clean-up more carefully because I actually explain how this is one of the very few topics that I’m not using much reasoning in. I don’t think you are a troll like other people accused you of being. I believe you are real because you sound like a really young version of many of my Indian coworkers. There is nothing wrong with being proud of your cultural heritage but you are American now and yet don’t seem to understand American culture all that well in many ways. You aren’t the first bright young person that showed up here confused about a lot of things. Some of them that did are adults now and have done quite well. It is expected for someone your age. People, including me, are being hard on you but it certainly nothing personal. I was confused at your age too. Listen, you have a lot of potential but many of your ideas about the way things work are way off. Stick around for a while and you will get good guidance from unbiased sources here. You may catch some flack for it too but it is all in good fun. Everyone only reply to your threads because they are interested. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/83 "2012-11-17T01:57:44Z")
Maybe those who are chastising AU need to start their own pit thread? AU came here so he could vent some of his pent up… frustration. The last thing he needs is to feel the pressure coming in from all directions. He probably can barely contain himself at this point. Just let him blow his top so he can finally have a peaceful night’s rest, guys. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/84 "2012-11-17T01:59:12Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I don’t think you are a troll like other people accused you of being. I believe you are real because you sound like a really young version of many of my Indian coworkers. There is nothing wrong with being proud of your cultural heritage but you are American now and yet don’t seem to understand American culture all that well in many ways. > > You aren’t the first bright young person that showed up here confused about a lot of things. Some of them that did are adults now and have done quite well. It is expected for someone your age. People, including me, are being hard on you but it certainly nothing personal. I was confused at your age too. > > Listen, you have a lot of potential but many of your ideas about the way things work are way off. Stick around for a while and you will get good guidance from unbiased sources here. You may catch some flack for it too but it is all in good fun. Everyone only reply to your threads because they are interested. Thank you were not accusing me of trolling because you’re right. I’m not. I like the Straight Dope Message Board so I’m staying obviously. Like I said, I stumbled upon this as I was searching for a solution to the candy jar problem. I noticed how everyone here is about 100 times smarter than Yahoo! Answers so that’s why I like using this more when I actually have questions. I still use Yahoo! Answers but not much for serious questions anymore. Mainly, just to answer when I feel like it sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/85 "2012-11-17T02:39:46Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > Maybe those who are chastising AU need to start their own pit thread? AU came here so he could vent some of his pent up… frustration. The last thing he needs is to feel the pressure coming in from all directions. He probably can barely contain himself at this point. Just let him blow his top so he can finally have a peaceful night’s rest, guys. Penis ensued. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/86 "2012-11-17T03:30:08Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > I feel dirty and wrong just for saying this - but I agree with **kanicbird**! Ewwwwwww ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/87 "2012-11-17T03:46:31Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > I literally cannot believe what I just heard from a few other people. Some people think that 75 PERCENT of whether or not a girl wants to be with you is based on SEX. WHAT ON EARTH? Is that serious? It’s unfortunately all too serious. What’s more, 88.726% of some people believe that meaningless generalizations sound more impressive if there is a statistic, no matter how stupid or irrelevant. OTOH, had the OP stated that 100% of whether a boy wants to be with you is based on SEX, I’d only be quibbling on the decimal point. Is the shock that girls also want sex? ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/88 "2012-11-17T04:04:49Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > The differences between the villages and cities in India are true! I am from India so I would know! This is what my dad told me, and he lived in India for 25-30 years. We would know. Don’t try to question this. It’s true that a lot of the unfair and extremely traditional beliefs are only evident in the villages. This is the one thing you have to believe me on because I would know as I’m Indian, and my parents grew up in India. OK…here’s something else you may as well learn sooner rather than later: Your parents don’t know everything. That’s not a knock on your parents, NOBODY’s parents know everything. They’re human. Their experience is limited, just like everyone else’s. Perhaps in your father’s experiences of whichever cities and villages he spent time in, the differences are true, but there are over 1.2 billion people in India. You could spend a lifetime (not just your first 25 years) in a country that big and diverse and not be able to fully understand the variety and breadth of moralities and values that different localities hold. To describe one set of values (that you were told about, rather than experienced firsthand, no less) and say “this is what it’s like in India, don’t try to question that!” is frankly naive. Look at the much smaller America, and the variety of lifestyles and cultures here; would you study L.A. and then assume that you know how life is led in Philadelphia? If you did, you’d be hilariously wrong…why should we believe India is less diverse? ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/89 "2012-11-17T04:22:17Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > OK…here’s something else you may as well learn sooner rather than later: > > Your parents don’t know everything. That’s not a knock on your parents, NOBODY’s parents know everything. They’re human. Their experience is limited, just like everyone else’s. > > Perhaps in your father’s experiences of whichever cities and villages he spent time in, the differences are true, but there are over 1.2 billion people in India. You could spend a lifetime (not just your first 25 years) in a country that big and diverse and not be able to fully understand the variety and breadth of moralities and values that different localities hold. To describe one set of values (that you were told about, rather than experienced firsthand, no less) and say “this is what it’s like in India, don’t try to question that!” is frankly naive. Look at the much smaller America, and the variety of lifestyles and cultures here; would you study L.A. and then assume that you know how life is led in Philadelphia? If you did, you’d be hilariously wrong…why should we believe India is less diverse? Yes, and there are two diversions in India: Cities (30%), Villages (70%). What I’m trying to tell you guys is that a lot of the statistics you are referring to mostly only occur in the villages. When I’m citing India, I’m usually talking about the cities. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/90 "2012-11-17T07:48:55Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > I sense a young boy who cannot win the approval of his peers and so has decided to win the approval of his Aunties and parents by fulling adhering to their centuries outdated norms. Taken on the ways of an elder while only 14yrs, for approval. Right down to the tsk, tsking at ‘kids today!’, and their newfangled thinking! Doesn’t have to be that he can’t win approval of his peers or whatever. Even when I was 16 (only 6 years ago, but still), there was a huge amount of “oh man I act like such an old guy listening to the Beatles instead of this mainstream shit lololol.” Hell, in Twilight, Bella frequently comments on how “on the inside she’s 40” or how she “acts like a 40 year old” and stuff like that. Trying (and often hilariously failing) to act like your parents generation isn’t exactly an uncommon thing even for popular kids. Of course, I think adopting your parent’s values on sex and morality is a relatively rare one, but I think it’s just a general extension of the same phenomenon. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/91 "2012-11-17T09:52:51Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. The absolute minimum age for sex should be 18. Like you said, some 18 year-olds are ready. Same as above, I can’t really reason this one at all (unlike with the dating one where I will some time in the future, reason) because I’m inexperienced. This is more on just what I believe as of now is morally right. I don’t think 16-17 year-olds are old enough. I think that one should at least wait until 18, that way when they earn it when they get their independence and are free to make their own choices. I deflowered my 16-year-old girlfriend two weeks ago. She was ready. When I was 16, I had sex for the first time. I was _really_ ready. I know people who have gone even younger; _they_ were ready. I’d say 14 is probably too young for most people, but there’s this thing about making rules like this: people mature differently. Like, essentially _nobody_ is ready at 12… Except that there are always exceptions to the rules (although usually the precocious 12-year-olds are boys). People aren’t all like you, or like the people you know. People are ready at different times. …That made me sound like a pedophile, doesn’t it? > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I got a 14k gold chastity ring I wore on a chain around my neck. It read: LOVE CAN WAIT. I asked for it as a Christmas gift from my parents. Due to experiences with a certain girl in the USA, whenever I see a chastity ring, what I immediately think is, “Huh, she needs to wear a piece of jewelry to remind herself not to have sex with random dudes”. With the corollary of "This is gonna be _easy_ ". > [@](#): > > Now, if I can attempt a halfway serious answer for our OP… ‘‘sexual compatibility’’ means more than just intercourse. It’s about chemistry - kissing, holding on to one another, inhaling their scent, all that stuff. And that stuff is damned important in a romantic relationship. That’s what makes a romantic relationship different than just friendship. Amen. In fact, basically this whole post is completely correct. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/92 "2012-11-17T12:33:06Z")
> [@](#): > > This is what my dad told me, and he lived in India for 25-30 years. We would know. Don’t try to question this. It’s true that a lot of the unfair and extremely traditional beliefs are only evident in the villages. This is the one thing you have to believe me on because I would know as I’m Indian, and my parents grew up in India. And yet still wrong. But why be surprised by someone bragging about ‘not using reasoning’. “Don’t try question this.” That’s hilarious! Are you telling us you’re second generation Indian, American educated, 15 yrs old and these are your English skills? Because, if so, this is where you _should_ be trying to keep up to your peers. Or give up any dream of MIT till you get that mastered. Sorry, now I smell troll. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/93 "2012-11-17T13:53:12Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > Weak sauce, you pansy. Let your balls drop before you spout off again. Also, stop thinking with your gear and start thinking with your brain. As much as you claim otherwise, you’re clearly pre-occupied with sex and disturbed about your own not so latent desires. > [@Rollo\_Tomasi](#): > > You are naive beyond belief if you think that all young people in India are waiting until marriage to do the deed. Speaking as an Indian-American myself, the OP needs to give it a rest and do some more listening, in life, not just here. > [@](#): > > This is what my dad told me, and he lived in India for 25-30 years. We would know. Don’t try to question this. It’s true that a lot of the unfair and extremely traditional beliefs are only evident in the villages. This is the one thing you have to believe me on because I would know as I’m Indian, and my parents grew up in India. My parents were like this too. Let me assure you — _Your parents have no idea what really goes on in India_ ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/94 "2012-11-17T15:28:45Z")
Wait. you’re telling me there are multiple posters on this board of Indian descent? And that AU is not the de facto authority on what goes on in India and that we shouldn’t just take his word for it because his dad lived in India for 25-30 years? My world is rocked. I would have thought for sure that the sheltered 15 year old who joined a month ago was going to be our unquestionable font of Indian knowledge. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/95 "2012-11-17T16:26:30Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > Wait. you’re telling me there are multiple posters on this board of Indian descent? Don’t be silly. It’s not possible. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/96 "2012-11-17T16:50:57Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > I deflowered my 16-year-old girlfriend two weeks ago. She was ready. When I was 16, I had sex for the first time. I was _really_ ready. I know people who have gone even younger; _they_ were ready. I’d say 14 is probably too young for most people, but there’s this thing about making rules like this: people mature differently. Like, essentially _nobody_ is ready at 12… Except that there are always exceptions to the rules (although usually the precocious 12-year-olds are boys). People aren’t all like you, or like the people you know. People are ready at different times. > > …That made me sound like a pedophile, doesn’t it? > > Due to experiences with a certain girl in the USA, whenever I see a chastity ring, what I immediately think is, “Huh, she needs to wear a piece of jewelry to remind herself not to have sex with random dudes”. With the corollary of "This is gonna be _easy_ ". > > Amen. In fact, basically this whole post is completely correct. BPC, your limited experience in this field while um…interesting may not have adequately prepared you to advise another randy youngster on matters of the heart. Don’t make me roll up a newspaper. G’wan! GIT!! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/97 "2012-11-17T18:43:50Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > They shouldn’t. That’s what I said in my clean-up post. I said that that was what I BELIEVE. I don’t think they should apply to anyone. And I think you’re right about the fact that I need to stop judging others’ choices. I agree, and I will work on this. > > Thank you. First off, thank _you_ for your long reply. We get so many drive-by newbies here that it gets kind of tedious - they start a thread, we respond, they’re long gone, never to be heard from again. Secondly, I’m curious about how you feel about people not of your religion. Your religion has specific rules regarding sex and marriage; how do you feel about other people who are not of your religion doing things differently? Thirdly, I’m sorry to hear about you feeling very guilty for not always doing things exactly as your religion and your parents tell you to. In my opinion, religion should be used as a helpful guideline, not a straitjacket that constricts you to keep you from fully living your life. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/98 "2012-11-18T08:36:00Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > BPC, your limited experience in this field while um…interesting may not have adequately prepared you to advise another randy youngster on matters of the heart. Don’t make me roll up a newspaper. G’wan! GIT!! Also, dating girls who are almost 2.5 times your age: totally okay. /troll ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/99 "2012-11-18T16:06:58Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > First off, thank _you_ for your long reply. We get so many drive-by newbies here that it gets kind of tedious - they start a thread, we respond, they’re long gone, never to be heard from again. > > Secondly, I’m curious about how you feel about people not of your religion. Your religion has specific rules regarding sex and marriage; how do you feel about other people who are not of your religion doing things differently? > > Thirdly, I’m sorry to hear about you feeling very guilty for not always doing things exactly as your religion and your parents tell you to. In my opinion, religion should be used as a helpful guideline, not a straitjacket that constricts you to keep you from fully living your life. I think that it’s fine if people do things that don’t comply with my religion. Everyone has their own beliefs, so I really don’t have a say in what other people do especially due to the fact that I’m only almost 15. However, I do want my future partner to hold off on sex until marriage. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/100 "2012-11-18T16:12:50Z")
Hijack: It reveals a lot about your personality to phrase your age as “only almost 15” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127.md?page=6)