# I Pit Premature Sex and the Importance of Sex (especially in Western culture) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 15, 2012, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127 "2012-11-15T20:53:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/101 "2012-11-18T16:19:08Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > However, I do want my future partner to hold off on sex until marriage. Better warn her now. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/102 "2012-11-18T17:58:15Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > \ > > However, I do want my future partner to hold off on sex until marriage. Well, best of luck with that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/103 "2012-11-18T18:23:06Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > Hijack: It reveals a lot about your personality to phrase your age as “only almost 15” It’s true; I’m turning 15 in less than two months. What does it reveal about my personality anyways? > [@Anonymous User](#): > > However, I do want my future partner to hold off on sex until marriage. Well, do I have a chance of finding someone like that? ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/104 "2012-11-18T18:39:29Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > Well, do I have a chance of finding someone like that? According to this [well-sourced Wikipedia page](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescent_sexuality_in_the_United_States), you “have a chance,” but it all depends on when you intend to meet her and get married. I like the rule of thumb I extrapolated from the “Virginity loss” section: at 15 years old, 15% of people have had sex, and at 21, 15% _haven’t_. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/105 "2012-11-18T19:06:59Z")
The “only” means you’re qualifying yourself as younger and suggests that you understand that you aren’t as knowledgeable as those older (read: this board). The “almost” lets you round up which means you want to give as high an age as possible so you can attain as much credibility as possible that’s associated with age. Basically I just thought it was funny that you would pull the “I’m almost 15” card. It’d be analogous to you getting into an argument with a 9 year old and he/she corrects to say that she’s “9 and a half”. You’re essentially told us that you may be young but you’re 14 and 5/6 which is almost 15 which is almost 18 which means we should take you more seriously than we’re giving you credit for. But I digress from the digression. There should be a pit thread where old people scoff at younger people and leave you to vent in this thread. To join you, I’ll admit that I’m 26 and let all the 56 year olds lambast me for my youthful indiscretion. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/106 "2012-11-18T21:36:07Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > However, I do want my future partner to hold off on sex until marriage. OK, and hence this pitting as you must realize that you need to be prepared to accept that either your choices will be limited a small percent of the population or that you won’t get what you want. I hope you aren’t like many who believe that girls who exhibit normal human behavior are sluts because they don’t follow the same religious views. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/107 "2012-11-19T10:36:53Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > However, I do want my future partner to hold off on sex until marriage. If a partner fails to live up to your expectations regarding this aspect of sex, would you still consider them for a relationship, assuming hey have the personality, behavior and looks you want in a partner? Would you break up with someone you like after finding out about their non-virginal past? ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/108 "2012-11-19T13:44:45Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Ewwwwwww I **know**! > [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > I deflowered my 16-year-old girlfriend two weeks ago. She was ready. > > …That made me sound like a pedophile, doesn’t it? Not at all. It’s the acting like a paedophile that makes you sound like one. > [@runner pat](#): > > Better warn her now. So that the poor girl can run out and get laid? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/109 "2012-11-19T14:20:08Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Not at all. It’s the acting like a paedophile that makes you sound like one. I meant the other part. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/110 "2012-11-19T14:25:45Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > I meant the other part. :rolleyes: Hey, does the 16 year old hang out with the [14 year old you deflowered](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15402043&postcount=44) too? ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/111 "2012-11-19T14:36:43Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Hey, does the 16 year old hang out with the [14 year old you deflowered](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15402043&postcount=44) too? No, and she was, in fact, 16. And as long as you’re both teens, there is no reasonable cultural taboo _anywhere_ for a two-year difference. Also, 14-18 is legal in Maine. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/112 "2012-11-19T15:08:49Z")
to make life easy get a button badge (pinback button) made. have it say ‘i am a virgin and my future wife will be too’ that way it will eliminate the nonproductive dating of the large group ineligible people. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/113 "2012-11-19T15:12:09Z")
Getting back to the OP, the idea that sex is somehow _more important_ in Western culture, than, say, in Indian culture is a fallacy. Indian culture is obsessed with sex and how to control it, and the resulting consequences are quite unfortunate. By moving in the direction of releasing controls on sex, Western culture is on the road to making it only as important as it should be to each individual. Indian culture is not a nice place for women and a lot of it is directly as a result of Indian society’s attitudes towards sex. The rich in India have for some time now broken free of stringent sexual controls and now do what they want. It’s working its way down. Offshoring of technical and service jobs from the West to India is also providing a route for Indian women to break free of a lot of societal constraints. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/114 "2012-11-19T15:14:51Z")
Agreed. There is a bizarre element of Victorian prudishness in Indian culture. ---
**Author:** ![pikey\_pete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pikey\_pete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pikey_pete)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/115 "2012-11-19T21:47:43Z")
the OP is ignoring the fact that it wasn’t until the beginning of the 20th century that girls in America WEREN’T getting married by age 15. For most of this nation’s history it wasn’t uncommon for a girl to have her first child by the age of 16. what our societal standards are today isn’t what they have always been and won’t be what they always are. A little knowledge of history goes a long way in providing perspective. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/116 "2012-11-19T21:53:10Z")
> [@pikey\_pete](#): > > the OP is ignoring the fact that it wasn’t until the beginning of the 20th century that girls in America WEREN’T getting married by age 15. For most of this nation’s history it wasn’t uncommon for a girl to have her first child by the age of 16. what our societal standards are today isn’t what they have always been and won’t be what they always are. A little knowledge of history goes a long way in providing perspective. And a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. First of all, American history is not one monolithic entity, and it is full of all kinds of different ethnic groups and social groups and economic groups. And it is very, very untrue that “girls were always married by 15.” Are you talking about upper-class urban girls in America in the 1890s? Because fuck no, they wouldn’t be married at 15, they’d be preparing for their social seasons and going to finishing schools and finishing their schooling and learning all the graces they’d need to be wives–but they wouldn’t be married and popping out kids. Are you talking about Puritan teenagers in Massachusetts in the early 1700s? Sure, they might be married at 15, but since the age of menarche has been slowly descending throughout history, there’s a better chance they wouldn’t even be fully developed and menstruating until 16 or 17 and thus not married OR popping out kids. So put up some citations for what you’re talking about or shut up and stop spreading misinformation. ---
**Author:** ![pikey\_pete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pikey\_pete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pikey_pete)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/117 "2012-11-19T22:45:41Z")
posting generalized information is not posting misinformation. Also, your use of upper class urban girls as an example uses the smallest segment of society. Not exactly the best example. Oh, and I never said ALWAYS married by 15. In short, this is the pit, not TGD. lighten up. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/118 "2012-11-19T23:18:16Z")
Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/119 "2012-11-20T23:50:36Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > No, and she was, in fact, 16. And as long as you’re both teens, there is no reasonable cultural taboo _anywhere_ for a two-year difference. > > Also, 14-18 is legal in Maine. Reasonable or not, a man went to jail for two years for a two year disparity in ages in [Georgia](http://youngadults.about.com/od/legalissues/a/statutoryrape.htm). Book your holidays wisely. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127/120 "2012-11-21T00:07:56Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > Reasonable or not, a man went to jail for two years for a two year disparity in ages in [Georgia](http://youngadults.about.com/od/legalissues/a/statutoryrape.htm). Book your holidays wisely. …I pit retarded age laws in Georgia. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-premature-sex-and-the-importance-of-sex-especially-in-western-culture/641127.md?page=7)