# I pit proselytizing faithbaiters **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 16, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418 "2005-02-16T21:04:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/1 "2005-02-16T21:04:20Z")
Our favorite Spamming Jesus **BELIEVER18** convinced me to pit this. I really don’t get the point of threads trying to convert everyone. I’m not referring to GD threads that ask genuine questions we can argue over. Just the “I believe in our lord, which makes me infinitely superior you you heathen bastards: Why don’t you let me show you the true light and bring you out of the darkness”. Really, guys, just because I don’t bow and scrape to the lord with every breath doesn’t mean I live in a cave and eat squirrels. It’s not like I’m sacrificing virgins to the Dark Lord while asking a golden cow statue for manna. There are better things to do with virgins. If I want to find Jesus, I will: A: Look behind the sofa B: Check the usual strip joints outside of town C: Go to church on my FUCKING own! This goes for all the proselytizing pricks at my job and every other place of work, too. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/2 "2005-02-16T21:07:23Z")
Amen. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/3 "2005-02-16T21:11:52Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Really, guys, just because I don’t bow and scrape to the lord with every breath doesn’t mean I live in a cave and eat squirrels. And even if you did, there’s nothing wrong with that! Um, right? ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/4 "2005-02-16T21:13:45Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Just the “I believe in our lord, which makes me infinitely superior you you heathen bastards: Why don’t you let me show you the true light and bring you out of the darkness”. That actually is a masterful bit of baiting. Dare I say, it is master baiting :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/5 "2005-02-16T21:16:34Z")
On a board, I just chuckle (and after a while, don’t click the threads). In real life, I’ll (a) smile and nod, thinking all the while how much they’re wasting their breath and my time. Sadly this one comes up often enough when I’m working and doing interviews. Or maybe (b) tell them that I’ve heard the arguments, and still not falling for it. Yes, I’ve read the Bible. And the Koran. Excerpts of the Bhagavad Gita. And I enjoy a good Zen koan when I’m stressed and need to clear (or cloud) my mind a bit. So your doorstep proselytizing, sans references to specific verses especially, will do nothing. I’ve gone further on my own, and still it was not the great salvation of my life. Sadly this line of rational argument doesn’t make most of them shut up. Which leads to © telling them to kiss my ass, but only after pointing out their utter hypocracy in doggedly jamming down my throat their warped perception of a religion that preaches tolerance. Often bringing in more cites from their own Good Book to explain why they’re an idiot than they can proffer for why I should convert. I feel bad for the majority of any religious group for having to be noticeably represented by the minority of loud (and usually quite wrong) idiots. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/6 "2005-02-16T21:18:12Z")
Guys! Be careful what you say! God can see everything, even when you’re sleeping! Or is that Santa? I’m confused. I think I’ll go dance naked in the woods and sacrifice a goat now. You know, because people who don’t put Jesus fishes on their cars are _ **heathen sluts** _! ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/7 "2005-02-16T21:26:57Z")
ooh! count me in on the heathen sluts, please! I am nominally Christian, but I loathe evangelizing and proselytizing. So much so, that if I was forced to make a choice–either preach with us or give up your Christianity–buh-bye religion for me. I do find a simple, “no thank you, I am not interested” works–if said civilly and firmly. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/8 "2005-02-16T21:30:43Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Guys! Be careful what you say! God can see everything, even when you’re sleeping! > > Or is that Santa? I’m confused. No, John Ashcroft. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/9 "2005-02-16T21:37:29Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > “I believe in our lord, which makes me infinitely superior you you heathen bastards: Why don’t you let me show you the true light and bring you out of the darkness”. Maybe I _like_ my chains and shadows, ever think of that? Seriously, it annoying. I mean, it’s not like we’re not aware of Christianity (It’s damn near impossible not to be). I was raised Christian, depending on who you talk to, and I have enough information to decide for myself if I want to be ‘saved’. My faith has run the gamut from staunchly Christian to athiest and stopped at several points in between–and none of it was because someone said to me “My beliefs are better than yours, come join us!” ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/10 "2005-02-16T21:40:05Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Our favorite Spamming Jesus **BELIEVER18** convinced me to pit this. If BELIEVER1 through 17 weren’t already taken (what are the chances?), BELIEVER18 should know that 18 is the numeric value of the Hebrew word Chai, which means living. For some reason, this amuses me. OTOH, BELIEVER18 is a tool. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/11 "2005-02-16T21:42:00Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > No, John Ashcroft. That would now be Alberto Gonzalez; keep up with the news, dude. In any event, it’s sad that these superstiotious morons feel the need to pester other people with their pathetic delusions. At least online witnessing can be ignored–there’s an insane elderly Korean man who gets on the DC Metro and sings hymns in a loud, annoying voice. Now THAT at rush hour is friggin’ aggravating! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/12 "2005-02-16T21:51:15Z")
I don’t think that guy was witnessing. He was trying to sell us something. ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/13 "2005-02-16T21:54:03Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > there’s an insane elderly Korean man who gets on the DC Metro and sings hymns in a loud, annoying voice. Now THAT at rush hour is friggin’ aggravating! I’ve not yet had the pleasure to come across him (usually because my schedule’s flexibility allows me to not go into DC until after the morning rush, and home before the evening rush). I’d just switch cars at the first station I come to. Is this guy just frightfully in love with the music, or is he trying to convert? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/14 "2005-02-16T21:54:44Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > I don’t think that guy was witnessing. He was trying to sell us something. Glad so few of us paid enough attention to notice. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/15 "2005-02-16T21:58:00Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > I don’t think that guy was witnessing. He was trying to sell us something. Isn’t that pretty much what witnessing is? ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/16 "2005-02-16T21:58:03Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Spamming Jesus User names! User names! First come, first served. Get 'em while they’re hot! ---
**Author:** ![High\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8797f3/32.png) [@High\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/High_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/17 "2005-02-16T22:03:19Z")
“Ahh, Jesus (Heyzues). I like him very much, but he no help with curveball” ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/18 "2005-02-16T22:04:57Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Isn’t that pretty much what witnessing is? Touché, my friend. Touché. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/19 "2005-02-16T22:27:02Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > just because I don’t bow and scrape to the lord with every breath doesn’t mean I live in a cave and eat squirrels As long as it’s consensual, that’s entirely between you and the squirrels. ---
**Author:** ![InvidiousCourgette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@InvidiousCourgette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InvidiousCourgette)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418/20 "2005-02-16T22:32:43Z")
I am dissapointed. I clicked on this thread expecting to read about proselytizing footballers. I need to get some better glasses. Anyway, if there are any proselytizing footballers out there, I say damn them to the deepest pit of hell. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-proselytizing-faithbaiters/290418.md?page=2)