# I pit recycling snobs **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 13, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010 "2008-12-13T13:55:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2008, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/61 "2008-12-14T13:07:03Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Before you all get the torches and pitchforks, I will say that if there’s a recycle bin available I’ll use it; but I’m not sorting through my household rubbish to decide what’s recyclable and what isn’t. If I have a heap of empty bottles, they can go into the recycle bin. If I have one or two, and they’re at the bottom of the rubbish bag with the rest of the kitchen or household waste, they’re going in the normal bin. Just FYI, so you don’t think recyclers are all crazy - I’ve never met anyone who tosses recyclables in the trash, and on trash day picks them back out and puts them in a recycling bin. They’ve got a second, small recycling bin next to the trash can inside the house/apartment, and both go out on trash day. And regarding the “friend” in the OP - I agree with those who say her problem isn’t that she’s just oh so enamored of how much she’s “saving” the planet. She’s passive-aggressive all around and makes herself feel better by somewhat subtly putting others down. That way if she’s challenged on it, she can fall back to “I’m just trying to help.” ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/62 "2008-12-14T17:59:45Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > My response to people who take that “Oh, you don’t recycle?” tone with me is “No, I don’t. Nor do a billion Chinese or a billion Indians. Nothing you or I can do will make a meaningful, practical difference to the matter.” That’s specious reasoning. A million average Australians are not equivalent to a million Chinese or Indians in this case. The Chinese and (especially) the Indians don’t use anywhere near the amount of bottles, cans, etc. that we do. And most of the disposable drink bottles that they use are glass. The percentage of packaging in the form of aluminum cans is much much lower than in the U.S.\* In the U.S., we use about one aluminum beverage can per person per day! That’s a lot! The average Chinese person uses but a tiny fraction of that. So recycle or not, but don’t blame it on the teeming billions in Asia. \*“We” being the United States. I don’t know about the percentages of aluminum beverage packaging in Australia and Europe offhand, but I think I have the exact info at work, and will be happy to provide cites for any of what I’m saying tomorrow if you like. I happen to be doing a lot of research on alumiunum recycling at the moment–not in terms of it’s economic feasibility, as that’s not in question, but in terms of how much of it is happening and where it’s happening on a global level. ---
**Author:** ![Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3da27b/32.png) [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nikki_Tikki_Tavi)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2008, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/63 "2008-12-14T21:28:19Z")
Why do you keep inviting someone over who clearly irritates you? With the busy, hectic, challenging life you lead it seems like you would value your precious free time more than to spend it with someone you’re so annoyed by. And you really should take your dog in for a dental cleaning if he has visible tartar buildup, it can lead to more serious health problems. ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2008, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/64 "2008-12-14T21:45:29Z")
My new girlfriend would drive you up the wall. She’s got this weird compulsion thing about waste, and she’s really good about being polite and realizing that she’s the crazy one, but every now and then I go to turn on the blender or something only to discover she’s unplugged it and everything else in my apartment. ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/65 "2008-12-14T22:03:26Z")
> [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](#): > > Why do you keep inviting someone over who clearly irritates you? With the busy, hectic, challenging life you lead it seems like you would value your precious free time more than to spend it with someone you’re so annoyed by. > > And you really should take your dog in for a dental cleaning if he has visible tartar buildup, it can lead to more serious health problems. Another interesting thing about her is that she has no problem inviting herself. Every time we do something, they nail us down about our next get together. They are consuming our free time! Our kids have activies together twice a week and they will volunteer to bring our kids home and then come in for a few hours. So we can’t avoid them, we see them on a regular basis. A few weekends ago they were over on a Saturday night. It was getting late and she called down her kids, we were expecting them to say they were going, but they told out kids that everyone was spending the night! :eek: Today they asked to get together before a musical tonight at church and are trying to nail down Friday night. Our politeness has created a monster. I think they desperately want the kind of friends where you can crash overnight without asking. But we are not those friends. \*\* Point taken about the dog’s teeth. We can take advice, it is just the way she does it. ---
**Author:** ![AndyPolley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@AndyPolley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndyPolley)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2008, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/66 "2008-12-14T22:36:24Z")
A kegerator would solve this problem. But I say that about a lot of things. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2008, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/67 "2008-12-14T23:25:30Z")
> [@Audrey\_Levins](#): > > I’m not sure, given the examples in the OP, that there’s a “different perspective” to have on the woman featured in the OP. Sure there is. . . it’s not to socialize with her if possible. You see it in almost every post. If the OP considered this, he didn’t put it into action. If he had, no post would have been written. > [@Audrey\_Levins](#): > > You don’t go into someone else’s home and make snide rude remarks about their lifestyle, whether you “approve” of it or not. If you have a serious problem, perhaps you shouldn’t show up. There are some people who feel this way and others who like the one-upmanship. For those that enjoy the one-upmanship, they can find find compatible friends who enjoy the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/68 "2008-12-15T01:28:12Z")
> [@newcrasher](#): > > Another interesting thing about her is that she has no problem inviting herself. Every time we do something, they nail us down about our next get together. They are consuming our free time! > > Our kids have activies together twice a week and they will volunteer to bring our kids home and then come in for a few hours. So we can’t avoid them, we see them on a regular basis. > > A few weekends ago they were over on a Saturday night. It was getting late and she called down her kids, we were expecting them to say they were going, but they told out kids that everyone was spending the night! :eek: > > Today they asked to get together before a musical tonight at church and are trying to nail down Friday night. They do sound truly odious. But to quote Ann Landers–nobody can take advantage of you without your permission. You simply have to learn how to get them out the door. Or not really let them in in the first place. For example–when they drop the kids off after activities, stand in the doorway/foyer and chit chat for a minute or two. But don’t tacitly invite them in by moving aside. Stay standing in the foyer. If they start to take their coats off, ignore it. After you’ve chatted for a couple of moments, say something like “great to see you! Thanks for dropping the kids off!” and physically move toward the door. If it’s closed, open it. Plan it so that you have no reason to leave the foyer while they’re there. For example, don’t have anything on the stove that you have to attend. If they somehow manage to get into the house or won’t leave, you can always cheerily say “Wish we could ask you to stay, but tonight’s not good for us.” And when they invite themselves to stay overnight, you can also say, “oh, that sounds fun, but unfortunately, tonight’s not good for us.” Remember, Miss Manners advises that the all-purpose excuse for everything is that you have previous plans. You don’t have to tell them that the previous plan is “avoiding you.” They’ll probably press you on why “tonight’s not good” or what your “plans” are. Repeat and rephrase a few times. If that doesn’t work, use the stony silence tactic. And if all else fails, you can always claim you need some “family time.” I find that term all kinds of annoying, but it can be a good last resort. Good luck and do keep us posted!! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/69 "2008-12-15T01:36:50Z")
Missed the edit window: ETA: Somebody is likely to post blasting you for being a doormat. Please be aware that it is extremely difficult for many people, including myself, to fathom why on earth you’d let these people impose on you this way. Cultural differences, I guess. You refer to your actions as “politeness.” To me, politeness doesn’t equal being a pushover. Above, I was trying to explain some tactics to “politely” get these idiots out of your house, but they might not seem very polite to you. Just remember–it’s not polite to sit there and seethe at your guests either, so the politest option of all would be to stop having them over all the time. The initial action of not letting them stay might seem impolite to you, but it’s far less impolite to do that than to hate on your guests! ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/70 "2008-12-15T02:13:21Z")
Ha ha! I wanted to say quit being a doormat, but that sounded mean. But seriously, these people are taking advantage of you. If you don’t like it, you’re going to have to get a little more firm with them. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/71 "2008-12-15T03:15:37Z")
Wait-did she invite your kids to spend the night at THEIR house-or the other way around? Please tell me it was the former? (Because considering what an obnoxious bitch this woman is…) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/72 "2008-12-15T04:17:23Z")
I think I’d just move. That kind of crazy won’t take subtle hints like telling her to get the hell out of your house. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/73 "2008-12-15T05:35:07Z")
> [@AndyPolley](#): > > A kegerator would solve this problem. > > But I say that about a lot of things. In other news, I’ve just voted you president. ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/74 "2008-12-15T12:02:37Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Wait-did she invite your kids to spend the night at THEIR house-or the other way around? Please tell me it was the former? (Because considering what an obnoxious bitch this woman is…) She invited her kids and herself and her husband to spend the night. ---
**Author:** ![raindrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/74df32/32.png) [@raindrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raindrop)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/75 "2008-12-15T13:15:17Z")
> [@newcrasher](#): > > She invited her kids and herself and her husband to spend the night. I noticed you didn’t say how you responded to that? Did she and her family end up spending the night? Or did you tell them it would be best if they went back to their own house? Or that the invitations to stay in your home must issued only by the people who actually pay for and own that home? FWIW I’ve had a lot of the pushy types in my life. I look/act/sound like the typical pushover, so they are very attracted to me. I also know the feeling of not wanting to be impolite. But I also push back. Of course I’m then accused of being an awful uncaring selfish rude monster. (Those types always have a long stream of unflattering accusations and characterizations to throw at you when you tell them no.) But that’s fine with me since I don’t mind being regarded as an awful uncaring selfish rude monster by someone who I don’t like or respect. When the accusations start flying (and they always do) sometimes that’s when I will agree with them. Then I tell them that I’m doing them a kindness by sending them away from someone who treats them as awful as I do. Sometimes that makes them do a 180 and they relinquish the accusations, and claim they don’t really want the friendship to end. But I insist that they were right all along, that I’m really a hopelessly flawed person with no hope of recovery, and that they REALLY do need to get far away from me ASAP. Other times I just throw a raging tantrum, curse them out and kick them the hell out of my house. Yes, they might tell all your neighbors that you are unstable and quite nutty, and not really the polite person you appear to be, but they will also stay away from you. When you get to the point where you don’t give a fig what she thinks of you, it’ll be much easier to tell her no. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/76 "2008-12-15T15:22:13Z")
The next time she brings her kid over to play, once you observe _her_ child doing something wrong, give him a “1” count and if he doesn’t snap to immediately, toss his ass in the recycling bin. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/77 "2008-12-15T17:03:54Z")
> [@newcrasher](#): > > We both have 5 year olds. You know the old “I’m going to count to three” ruse? When you tell your kids to do something and then give them the three count to make the right decision to do what you said? Its a ruse? If I get to three I beat their ass. I guess she wouldn’t like me. About the recycling. I have to pay to recycle. Where I live it is up to the individual homeowner to contract a disposal company. The disposal comapny requires garbage to be sorted. They come every week for the garbage and every other week for the recyclables. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/78 "2008-12-15T17:10:47Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Its a ruse? Depends on the kid. With my son, I used to wonder what in the hell I would do if I actually got to 3. With my daughter, I’ve had to find out. Every. Time. Counting just doesn’t work for that stubborn little girl. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/79 "2008-12-15T17:38:42Z")
> [@newcrasher](#): > > Our politeness has created a monster. I think they desperately want the kind of friends where you can crash overnight without asking. But we are not those friends. I think you must have met a couple of my “friends.” We, too, were way too polite to tell these people to go sod off. Until one day they knowingly showed up at our house with a staph infection - all of them had it, including the mother, father and their toddler son - and handled our newborn. Notice that I said we _were_ way too polite. I wouldn’t have cared about a cold as long as handwashing was involved, but a freaking staph infection?? Even if it were unlikely for our kid to get it, it takes a lot of either ignorance or balls to show up at someone’s house with such a serious infection, then play with their four-week old baby. After I discussed the issue with them, it never, ever happened again. Anyway, back to your situation: I don’t think the person you describe is a recycling snob - she’s an all-out snob looking for ways to make herself right. I’ll bet she’s the type when she goes home she makes snide comments like, “I really like **newscrasher** , but did you _see_ how filthy her house is? I would never let _ours_ get like that. Little Johnny could get sick!” See, she gets the obligatory nice comment in so she seems like a concerned friend, then instantly negates that by tossing in catty little gems. I’m doubly impressed that she makes such comments directly to your face. She must be incredibly insecure. If you can do so, I would drastically reduce your interactions with her or find a way to tell her that you don’t appreciate her comments. Everyone does things differently and it doesn’t make her wrong or right when you do something differently than she does. She sounds like a headache in the making. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/80 "2008-12-15T17:39:51Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Depends on the kid. With my son, I used to wonder what in the hell I would do if I actually got to 3. With my daughter, I’ve had to find out. Every. Time. Counting just doesn’t work for that stubborn little girl. Maybe its just girls. Both of my are amazingly stubborn. Of course now that they are older there are worse punishments. Like no TV. Or no video games. I think if given a choice between being beaten with a stick and no TV they would pick the stick everytime. And before I get my own Pit thread, no I don’t beat my children with sticks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010.md?page=5)