# I pit recycling snobs **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 13, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010 "2008-12-13T13:55:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/81 "2008-12-15T17:57:22Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > For those that enjoy the one-upmanship, they can find find compatible friends who enjoy the same thing. I suppose if that’s good enough for you. Personally, I can find find find compatible friends who enjoy the same thing. So am I the only one who had a Monty Python moment while reading the OP? **newcrasher** , the next time you admonish your kids in their presence, say “One… two… five!” The self-invitation to stay over is way over the top. We had family friends who did this, and they passed it on to their kids. Years after I lost all contact with them, I came home late on night after drinking with friends, to find the son and his friend in my bedroom. They knew it wouldn’t be a problem to stay over. Grr! ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/82 "2008-12-15T18:01:22Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > The self-invitation to stay over is way over the top. We had family friends who did this, and they passed it on to their kids. Years after I lost all contact with them, I came home late on night after drinking with friends, to find the son and his friend in my bedroom. They knew it wouldn’t be a problem to stay over. Grr! How the hell did they get in? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/83 "2008-12-15T18:25:51Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > How the hell did they get in? My roommates let them in. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/84 "2008-12-15T18:33:58Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > My roommates let them in. They crashed at your place years after you’d lost contact with them? That’s surreal. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/85 "2008-12-15T18:35:38Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > My roommates let them in. Ahh. What gall to ask to be let in to the house of someone you hadn’t seen in years! I can’t imagine it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/86 "2008-12-15T18:44:19Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > They crashed at your place years after you’d lost contact with them? That’s surreal. Yes, it was. It was OK (sort of) because he was a good kid, and didn’t make a habit of it. His mother, on the other hand, sounds like the woman in your OP. But with added bragging about her kids in every aspect. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/87 "2008-12-17T15:28:44Z")
[QUOTE=Lyanthya] You know, levdrakon, I don’t post much, but you really are being a condescending ass. [/QUOTE] > [@levdrakon](#): > > Post less. Okay, that’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![spifflog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@spifflog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spifflog)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/88 "2008-12-17T16:25:58Z")
I have a different idea. I know it’s not overly snarky, witty, passive aggressive, just plain aggressive or new. Why not just tell her how you feel, why it’s annoying to you and ask her to stop? “We’ve noticed that you take issue with the way we conduct many things in our lives. Recycling, disciplining our children, not lighting our kids hair on fire to name a few. The goal seems to be to belittle us by comparison. We love spending time with you, but this behavior is making us reconsider our friendship. We really rather not have it come to that. Would you mind holding your tough on these types of issues so we don’t lose our friendship?” They either act like adults and stop it and your better off, or they don’t and you have the same options as before. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/89 "2008-12-17T17:02:23Z")
> [@Influential\_Panda](#): > > My new girlfriend would drive you up the wall. She’s got this weird compulsion thing about waste, and she’s really good about being polite and realizing that she’s the crazy one, but every now and then I go to turn on the blender or something only to discover she’s unplugged it and everything else in my apartment. That’s my wife. Fortunately, she admits to her OCD-ness with regards to living green. The latest has been unplugging everything, since apparently there was some energy expert on Oprah who related some “big statistical number” relating weepy-eyed baby penguin populations to domestic energy consumption. Look, the coffee grinder does not use energy when not plugged in, but no amount of scientific reasoning will delete the “wall sockets = dead penguins” from her mind. I’m buying one of those “Kill a Watt” meters…wonder what she’ll think when that LCD display reads “zero” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/90 "2008-12-17T17:46:02Z")
> [@spifflog](#): > > Why not just tell her how you feel, why it’s annoying to you and ask her to stop? > > “We’ve noticed that you take issue with the way we conduct many things in our lives. Recycling, disciplining our children, not lighting our kids hair on fire to name a few. The goal seems to be to belittle us by comparison. We love spending time with you, but this behavior is making us reconsider our friendship. We really rather not have it come to that. Would you mind holding your tough on these types of issues so we don’t lose our friendship?” What??? Deal with the problem openly, directly, and honestly!? Are you insane??? 😛 I really like this idea. You might want to omit the line about her goal being to belittle. In fact, you definitely should omit that. No need to bring her intentions into it. It’s her actual behavior that matters, not why she’s doing it. And if you bring it up, she’ll make the conversation about her intentions, not her actions. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/91 "2008-12-17T18:19:14Z")
> [@spifflog](#): > > “We’ve noticed that you take issue with the way we conduct many things in our lives.” “ **You’ve** noticed that **we** take issue? At least we don’t berate you for taking issue, because that would be rude.” ---
**Author:** ![Peanut\_Gallery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/838e76/32.png) [@Peanut\_Gallery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanut_Gallery)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/92 "2008-12-17T18:28:28Z")
I am balancing my carbon footprint by not having children. That counts right? That’s how I soothe my mind for not recycling, driving too much, keeping my home at 77 degrees all winter, and eating any damn thing I please. A) I’m guaranteeing that less resources will be needed. And B) The end result of whatever happens is off my conscience. If I had to care about the future of the planet, I’d be as freaked out as your friend. And I’d have blown your friend off with her passive aggressive bullshit before she even got to the recycling. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/93 "2008-12-17T19:23:29Z")
When I run into a passive aggresive type and I care enough (Say if they’re a friend) to respond, I ask them this sort of question: “If you had bad breath bordering on offensive, you would want me to tell you, right?” They usually agree, so then I say “Well your comment about “The dog’s tartar build up” was quite offensive as I find passive aggresive people to be socially unnacceptable, perhaps more so than bad breath.” Generally it makes them think twice about behaving that way… regards FML ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/94 "2008-12-18T07:00:14Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Depends on the kid. With my son, I used to wonder what in the hell I would do if I actually got to 3. With my daughter, I’ve had to find out. Every. Time. Counting just doesn’t work for that stubborn little girl. Hee - mine counts for me so I get there faster… ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/95 "2008-12-18T08:20:13Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I suppose if that’s good enough for you. Personally, I can find find find compatible friends who enjoy the same thing. Huh? My point was that if people enjoy one-upmanship, they can find other people who like one-upmanship to hang out with them because then they would be compatible. Since the OP doesn’t seem to enjoy one-upmanship with his guests, he probably shouldn’t hang with someone who does. I didn’t actually say anything about my personal preference. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/96 "2008-12-18T15:07:21Z")
> [@ntucker](#): > > My wife and I used to have a friend like this too. She would constantly make friendly-sounding comments that were engineered to demonstrate how much better she was than everyone else. Ultimately, we just decided she isn’t worth it as a friend and quit hanging out with her. Good riddance. Life is better when, on the way home from a gathering of friends, you talk about how much you enjoyed it rather than recounting the various subtle insults you overheard/received. I recently cut someone out of my life for this same type of passive-aggressive bullshit. You wouldn’t believe how freeing it is not to have to watch someone bolster their fragile ego at the expense of others anymore. ---
**Author:** ![raindrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/74df32/32.png) [@raindrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raindrop)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/97 "2008-12-18T20:17:27Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > …if people enjoy one-upmanship, they can find other people who like one-upmanship to hang out with them because then they would be compatible. She’s obviously one of those people who enjoys playing one-upmanship with people who do _not_ enjoy it. There are a lot of people like that. They are bullies, and cowards, because they enjoy being negatively competitive with people who don’t typically fight back. People like that don’t really want to find someone like themselves; they specifically target the mild mannered and polite non-fighters. In fact, if she ever got it back in the same way she delivers it she would cry foul, play the victim, and try to portray the person who bested her as an unfair meanie villain. She employs bullying tactics and guilt to keep the game one-sided, so she can always win. In her world being “compatible” means she wins every round, and she only feels she’s compatible when she feels like she’s always better than her companions. > [@](#): > > Since the OP doesn’t seem to enjoy one-upmanship with his guests, he probably shouldn’t hang with someone who does. Yup. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/98 "2008-12-18T23:20:44Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > You don’t say. > As I’ve found out during yet another bout of insomnia, my city cuts out the middleman, as it were. See those nifty, squeaky clean, colour-coded paper/glass/plastics/other bins laid out neatly on the side of the road ? THEY ALL GO IN THE SAME FUCKING GARBAGE TRUCK. I don’t know your city or the trucks they use, but here (NYC), if you didn’t look carefully, you might think the same. Truth is that the back of the truck is segregated. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/99 "2008-12-18T23:27:12Z")
Threads like this make me thank the gods. I have friends, coworkers, neighbors, relatives and sometimes perfect strangers that have given me brief moments of “I’d like to kill ya” But gawd almighty I am not subject to crap like this on a regular basis by any of em…or any of the other similiar threads where person XYZ is driving the OP batshit insane with rage, anger,vfrustration, and dispare! again…thank the gawds! ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010/100 "2008-12-18T23:48:28Z")
> [@raindrop](#): > > She’s obviously one of those people who enjoys playing one-upmanship with people who do _not_ enjoy it. There are a lot of people like that. They are bullies, and cowards, because they enjoy being negatively competitive with people who don’t typically fight back. People like that don’t really want to find someone like themselves; they specifically target the mild mannered and polite non-fighters. In fact, if she ever got it back in the same way she delivers it she would cry foul, play the victim, and try to portray the person who bested her as an unfair meanie villain. She employs bullying tactics and guilt to keep the game one-sided, so she can always win. In her world being “compatible” means she wins every round, and she only feels she’s compatible when she feels like she’s always better than her companions. Wow, not only do you know what this woman is like without having met her, you also know how she would react in a situation that hasn’t happened yet. You’re pretty specific with your generalizations. How about if we let her worry about how she’ll behave in her next relationship? I think it’s sufficient for the OP to worry about how he’ll handle her. He doesn’t also have to think about her needs with her next friends. I was just pointing out that he doesn’t have to hang out with her; I’m sure she’ll find someone else, possibly someone even more compatible. . . or not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-recycling-snobs/477010.md?page=6)