# I pit roofers who poop in my yard. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 9, 2014, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138 "2014-08-09T01:22:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/1 "2014-08-09T01:22:44Z")
I pit roofers who poop in my yard. I’ve had a bear poop on my stoop, and I’ve had a dog poop on my lawn, but I’ve never had a roofer poop in my yard, that is until I returned home today to find the roofer’s gift, including used wet wipe. I was surprised that the roofer pooped in my yard, for the roofing work was being done on my neighbour’s roof, not mine. I was surprised that the roofer used a wet wipe, given that hygiene is not to be expected from roofer so stupid as to poop in someone’s yard and not at least clean it up. I was surprised that the roofer pooped in my yard rather than in the woods that surround my yard, where the bear usually poops, but that just goes to show that a bear is brighter than a roofer. Roofers are proof of biological devolution. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/2 "2014-08-09T01:29:01Z")
Wow. WOW wow wow wow. I endorse this pooping, I mean pitting 115%. Fuckin’ hell. Do some people even know how to _spell_ class? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/3 "2014-08-09T01:39:38Z")
What in the actual fuck? :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/4 "2014-08-09T01:46:06Z")
How can you be sure it wasn’t from the neighbor himself? ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/5 "2014-08-09T02:06:36Z")
Nah, it’s standard. I spent a summer roofing in North Carolina–inadvisable, FTR–and the very first day, they taught me to \*always \*shit in a neighboring yard _at least_ once per job. It’s a tradition handed down from roofer to roofer for centuries, and it’s still going strong. It’s all a matter of professional pride, really. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/6 "2014-08-09T02:09:50Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > How can you be sure it wasn’t from the neighbor himself? He and his family have been out of town too. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/7 "2014-08-09T02:09:38Z")
> [@andros](#): > > Nah, it’s standard. I spent a summer roofing in North Carolina–inadvisable, FTR–and the very first day, they taught me to \*always \*shit in a neighboring yard _at least_ once per job. Do you have to be on the roof when you do it? > [@Muffin](#): > > I pit roofers who poop in my yard. [Well, at least they didn’t poop in your toilet.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=324485) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/8 "2014-08-09T20:34:21Z")
When I read the thread title, I thought to myself, _Maybe there are dogs with speech impediments who say “roof” instead of “woof”? Please?_ Of course, reading the thread dashed _that_ hope. On the bright side of which I am determined to find one, dammit, you now have a sample of his DNA, and you can one day grow your OWN roofer. Not really sure what you’d do with one, but perhaps something will present itself during the growing process. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/9 "2014-08-09T20:41:54Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > you now have a sample of his DNA, and you can one day grow your OWN roofer. Not really sure what you’d do with one, but perhaps something will present itself during the growing process. Feed him to the bear? [QUOTE=Muffin] I’ve had a bear poop on my stoop… [/QUOTE] I guess that question has been answered. And it turns out the Pope is Jewish. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/10 "2014-08-09T21:31:29Z")
How do you know it was a roofer? Does roofer poop look/smell/taste different than other peoples poop? Did it give you shingles? ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/11 "2014-08-09T21:36:53Z")
I was always told to poop in the roof vent, boss-man wasn’t paying me to climb up and down the ladder. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/12 "2014-08-09T21:36:59Z")
Yes the roofer left shingles behind. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/13 "2014-08-09T21:43:47Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Yes the roofer left shingles behind. They’re brutal as toilet paper! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/14 "2014-08-09T22:03:54Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Do you have to be on the roof when you do it? > > [Well, at least they didn’t poop in your toilet.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=324485) Man, I miss Shat On Cookie ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/15 "2014-08-09T22:30:12Z")
Sure it isn’t one of those upright-walking bears? Using wet wipes sounds like something they might do. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/16 "2014-08-09T22:52:25Z")
I have very little to contribute to this thread except that, when it showed up on the main forum page as the last-discussed topic in the Pit, it read, “I pit roofers who poop in my…” It was my own private Match Game. ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/17 "2014-08-09T23:55:14Z")
Be very glad you don’t have a very affectionate dog with somewhat perverted eating habits. No amount of candles could compete with the resulting canine breath. Indoors. In summer. No a/c. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/18 "2014-08-10T00:24:23Z")
I live in the country bounding on bush, so there are no roof and scoop bylaws. ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/19 "2014-08-10T02:13:20Z")
> [@Whatever4](#): > > Be very glad you don’t have a very affectionate dog with somewhat perverted eating habits. No amount of candles could compete with the resulting canine breath. Indoors. In summer. No a/c. It’s just as bad when they roll in it. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/20 "2014-08-10T04:16:31Z")
I worked a construction laborer job one summer during college. I worked for the builder, driving a truck around the homes under construction in their various developments and cleaning up after the contractors. Generally, I’d find a big, empty cardboard box laying around somewhere on the build site, load the box up with trash and debris, haul the whole box back to the truck and heave it into the bed, then took it to the dumpster. At one house, I was down in a basement, picking up after the HVAC guys. These particular fellows had left behind a case of empty beer cans and a huge mess. So I fill up my box, heave it into my truck, and drive it to the dumpster. I would usually stand in the bed of the truck and try to chuck the whole box into the dumpster, but it was near the end of the day and I just didn’t have the strength left to do it, so I started picking stuff out of the box individually to throw away to lighten the load. At one point, as I grabbed a small box stuffed with empty caulking tubes, I noticed the bottom was wet and the box was about to fall apart, so I tried to hurriedly throw the box away, but I was too late. The bottom fell open, and out fell a big, smelly beer turd that one of the contractors was kind enough to leave behind for me, hidden in a box. Like treasure. Only this treasure fouled my work glove, plopped down onto my work boot, and slid down the side of my truck, leaving behind a nice, stinky poop streak to bake in the 92° heat. The moral of the story is that residential construction contractors are rotten, God-forsaken scumbags. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138.md?page=2)