# I pit roofers who poop in my yard. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 9, 2014, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138 "2014-08-09T01:22:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/41 "2014-08-11T15:01:14Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Let the lawyer see the photos–they should be incriminating enough. Are they photos of the roofer actually pooping in **Muffin**'s yard? If not, then all you have is pictures of poop to be added to your collection. If you’re going to accuse a specific roofer or a roofing company, you’ll need more evidence than a picture of a poop. (Collection of **Muffin** yard photos, not collection of poop photos.) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/42 "2014-08-11T15:48:10Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > Are they photos of the roofer actually pooping in **Muffin**'s yard? If not, then all you have is pictures of poop to be added to your collection. If you’re going to accuse a specific roofer or a roofing company, you’ll need more evidence than a picture of a poop. > > (Collection of **Muffin** yard photos, not collection of poop photos.) DNA. [Cite](http://www.pooprints.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/43 "2014-08-11T15:52:13Z")
Shit on a shingle? ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/44 "2014-08-11T17:18:06Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > DNA. > > [Cite](http://www.pooprints.com/) You’ll also need to somehow force a DNA sample from the roofers. And maybe the neighbors. And any homeless people in the area. And any irate former clients/associates of the roofing company, it’s employees, and maybe any irate former clients/associates of **Muffin**. Is the yard fenced? Could a delivery service employee have left an unexpected deposit in the yard? How much does a DNA test cost? Is there a group discount? I’m in favor of plan “A” but plan “B” can get really expensive. What would you expect to win once you’ve ID’d the mystery shitter? An apology? How much could you expect to pay the roofing company if they win their libel suit against your unproven claims? Does it make sense to pay $1000+ to recover a $100 debt? ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/45 "2014-08-11T17:37:14Z")
If he does have pictures of the roofers pooping, he could certainly have them charged with indecent exposure! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/46 "2014-08-11T17:45:08Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Do you have to be on the roof when you do it? Preferably, your hind’s in the gutter. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/47 "2014-08-11T17:45:15Z")
> [@Whatever4](#): > > It’s easier to wash a dog than teach it to gargle. Dear sir/madam, Please accept our humblest congratulations and find enclosed your prize of one (1) internet. Please tick below to acknowledge receipt. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/48 "2014-08-11T17:58:13Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > You’ll also need to somehow force a DNA sample from the roofers. Someone mentioned the roofer filing suit for slander/etc. I was just suggesting one possible defense. Collect the feces with a witness or two present, submit to a lab for DNA. Ask the roofer in court if (s)he would be willing to submit DNA. No, IANAL and may be full of shit. Anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/49 "2014-08-11T18:24:48Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > No, IANAL and may be full of shit. Anyone? If you’re full of shit, stay out of Muffin’s yard. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/50 "2014-08-11T18:28:59Z")
Sorry a roofer pooped in your yard. Next time it happens, make sure you catch him right after he does it and rub his nose in it so he learns not to do it again. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/51 "2014-08-11T18:49:06Z")
It helps if you’re built like Hulk Hogan. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/52 "2014-08-11T19:06:24Z")
I just want to say this is one of the best thread topic/username combos ever! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/53 "2014-08-11T22:53:44Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > DNA. > > [Cite](http://www.pooprints.com/) Holy crap, their video says it’s 30-50 bucks per test. Around here DNA paternity tests run over $800. If I ever have a client looking to save some money while fighting over custody of a really hairy child . . . 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/54 "2014-08-11T23:33:06Z")
I just spoke with my neighbor who is now back in town. He’ll be dealing with the roofing company on the issue. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/55 "2014-08-11T23:42:48Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Preferably, your hind’s in the gutter. Up until this point, I always thought the term “flying buttress” was a peculiar choice of words in roofing design… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/56 "2014-08-12T00:53:46Z")
Newspaper typo: "The bride is approximately eighteen feet wide from buttress to buttress. " ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/57 "2014-08-12T01:42:50Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Newspaper typo: "The bride is approximately eighteen feet wide from buttress to buttress. " This might help if they plan on kids… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/58 "2014-08-12T03:30:11Z")
Myself, I pit poopers who roof in my yard. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/59 "2014-08-12T03:30:14Z")
It just dawned on me. This is about a meadow muffin in Muffin’s meadow. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138/60 "2014-08-12T03:58:23Z")
Your roofers bring all the poop to the yard And they’re like It’s better than yours … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-roofers-who-poop-in-my-yard/695138.md?page=4)