# i pit Satan **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 30, 2007, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034 "2007-05-30T06:16:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/1 "2007-05-30T06:16:29Z")
I pit Satan . Filthy piece of refuse from heaven cast into our midst. It’s his work you see when you hear about the woman who hanged her children. I try to look the other way but I see you you filthy piece of SHIT. I pray to our father our Lord in Heaven and His Holy Son to give me the courage to write this.My pal Jesus has something for you .It’s coming real soon so buck up, fucker, He’s going to burn you down like an ice cube on the sun BITCH. Greasy hate filled garbage spewing no good mother fucker .I read your ass can’t be mine while your here but be sure i’ll be leaving my pocket turned out for you you no good COCK SUCKER! More later… ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/2 "2007-05-30T06:25:32Z")
Hail Satan! Hail Adrian! ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/3 "2007-05-30T06:29:17Z")
[QUOTE=Omegaman] It’s his work you see when you hear about the woman who hanged her children. [/quote] You flatter humanity. We don’t need the help of an immortal demon to wreak misery on others. > [@](#): > > My pal Jesus has something for you .It’s coming real soon so buck up, fucker, So I’m guessing you’re part of the 44%? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/4 "2007-05-30T06:32:52Z")
I gotta say, **Omegaman** , you really scare the shit out of me. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/5 "2007-05-30T06:36:04Z")
Are you sure you guys aren’t being whooshed? ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/6 "2007-05-30T07:12:11Z")
It’s considered bad form to pit ex-posters who can’t respond. :dubious: An in any case, I doubt he’s responsible for all you blame on him. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/7 "2007-05-30T08:46:44Z")
“_More later_?” You’re putting Satan on hold? One lousy paragraph into your fight against Evil and you’ve suddenly got something _better_ to do? Kiddo, listen up: you wanna take on the King of the Bottomless Pit, you gotta clear your schedule in advance, empty your bladder, set the DVR to record the Popeil infomercial, and _focus_. Also, you’re playing the Jesus card way too early. He doesn’t need _you_ picking fights for him. Resist Satan on your own for a while like a big boy. Start by watching your wrath counter: it’s a sin, y’know. ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/8 "2007-05-30T10:40:33Z")
What’s a “sun bitch”? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/9 "2007-05-30T10:44:01Z")
Yeah! It’s all slippery and icky-feeling. Makes my teeth itch. When you try to get into a bed covered with it and your even just a teensy bit tipsy, you slide right out. If you wear clothes made out of it, you look like a '70s pimp. Plus, it’s impossible to keep wrinkle free. What? Oh— never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/10 "2007-05-30T10:48:53Z")
“I’m not about evil; I’m about **sin**! It was God who invented the bra.” - Keith Laumer’s version of Satan. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/11 "2007-05-30T10:55:36Z")
[QUOTE=velvetjones] What’s a “sun bitch”? [/QUOTE] It’s the arch-rival of the moon bastard, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/12 "2007-05-30T10:56:00Z")
Satan can’t do anything without God’s assent. Anything Satan does is God’s will. You need to pit God, not Satan. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/13 "2007-05-30T11:05:18Z")
You guys realize you are attempting to engage in a dialogue with someone’s whose final point was this, right? _I read your ass can’t be mine while your here but be sure i’ll be leaving my pocket turned out for you you no good COCK SUCKER!_ ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/14 "2007-05-30T11:32:35Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] You guys realize you are attempting to engage in a dialogue with someone’s whose final point was this, right? [/QUOTE] Attempting to engage in dialogue? Was that what I was doing? Well, let me play Devil’s Advocate here for a bit: Go Devil! Yay Satan! Beelzebub, Beelzebub he’s our man If he can’t do it Then Lucifer can! O.K., it’s preeety early in the morning in my neck of the woods. This explains all my posts in this thread so far. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/15 "2007-05-30T11:38:55Z")
Who is responsible for the awful grammar and punctuation in the OP? Could it be… SATAN? ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/16 "2007-05-30T11:43:10Z")
[QUOTE=Omegaman] I pray to our father our Lord in Heaven and His Holy Son to give me the courage to write this. [/QUOTE] That seems somewhat pointless. I mean, if him upstairs is obviously and clearly going to win, why do you need _courage_ to say so? Meh. Anyway, who’s the woman who hung her kids? Is this new news? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/17 "2007-05-30T11:43:36Z")
[QUOTE=Biggirl] Attempting to engage in dialogue? Was that what I was doing? Well, let me play Devil’s Advocate here for a bit: Go Devil! Yay Satan! Beelzebub, Beelzebub he’s our man If he can’t do it Then Lucifer can! O.K., it’s preeety early in the morning in my neck of the woods. This explains all my posts in this thread so far. [/QUOTE] If the shoe don’t fit, (maybe it’s your cloven hoof,) You must acquit, (in any case.) ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/18 "2007-05-30T11:59:25Z")
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have to say, you’re one of the most entertaining losers I’ve ever run into here. If you ever get up to my end of the country, I’m gonna buy you and your pal Jesus a beer, you crazyass fucker. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/19 "2007-05-30T12:01:13Z")
There really should be a two-drink limit here. If you can’t figure out where to put periods, you’re clearly too drunk to post. ETA: **Uvula** , don’t buy him a beer. He’s had enough. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034/20 "2007-05-30T12:01:38Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Hail Adrian! [/QUOTE] I always thought it was “Yo, Adrian!” **severus** beat me to the reference to the banned poster joke. Because, see, there used to be a poster whose username was **Satan** and so it’s kind of funny, sorta… I personally can’t wait for the “more later” part. After all, there’s no point in fighting ignorance if there’s no ignorance to fight. Oh, and SANTA kicks ass! He brought me a GNIP GNOP game one year for Christmas. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-satan/406034.md?page=2)