# I pit screaming kids in a restaurant and asshole parents and spineless managers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 27, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052 "2005-06-27T15:38:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/81 "2005-07-04T16:23:59Z")
> [@Una Persson](#): > > Holy dogshit. That site’s a parody, like Bonsai Kitten, right? Right? If only it were–a search for “Indigo Children” on Amazon yields some 54 books, including such gems as “Beyond the Indigo Children : The New Children and the Coming of the Fifth World by L.H.D., P. M. H. Atwater”… ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/82 "2005-07-04T16:26:27Z")
> [@Una Persson](#): > > Holy dogshit. That site’s a parody, like Bonsai Kitten, right? Right? > > Isn’t there another cult o’ the children that people on here get up in arms about frequently? I think it’s a message board. I think it’s serious, one of the links goes [here](http://www.indigochild.com/). Scroll down for excerpts from the book. I stopped at this intro by the authers, unwilling to wade in any deeper: > [@](#): > > Jan and I are national self-help lecturers and authors. In the last six years we have traveled the world speaking in front of large and small groups alike We have dealt with all ages and many cultures representing many languages. My boys are grown and left the nest. Jan never had children, but somehow felt that someday she would be working with them (she was right). Of the six published books, none are about children because our work does not focus there. How is it, therefore, that we are authoring a book on this very subject? > > When you are counselors, and you spend close personal time with people, you cannot help but notice emerging patterns of human behavior, which then become staples of your work. Our work, like that of Louise Hay who published this book, is about self empowerment and the raising of self esteem. It enables people to hope, giving them the power to lift themselves above the level of who they “thought” they were. It also involves spiritual healing (not religion), and encourages self examination for the purpose of finding the “God within” first, before searching for any outside source. It speaks of self-healing, as well as independence from worry, in a changing and worry-prone world. It’s tremendously rewarding work - but it makes us notice things ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/83 "2005-07-04T16:45:28Z")
I don’t get into the whole idea of taking the kids to McDonald’s/Shoney’s/wherever, where it’s _OK_ to be a little hellion. Rather than expecting them to make the distinction between banshee and non-banshee restaurants, why not instill the idea that _when one is in public, one does not run around screaming like a maniac, regardless of the venue_? I have a similar problem with the concept of “outside voice/inside voice”. Just because there is not a roof over your head doesn’t mean it’s OK to run around and scream like a goddamn howler monkey. There has to be some other way to make the distinction. And yeah, the Indigo Child thing makes me want to slam my head in the door of my car. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/84 "2005-07-04T16:46:49Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > Actually, it’s now manifested itself as a [bona fide belief system.](http://www.indigochild.com/) Aliens, new-age nutters–something for everyone. Looks like it might be [spreading to the UK](http://www.takingchildrenseriously.com/) as well. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/85 "2005-07-04T16:59:00Z")
> [@Una Persson](#): > > Holy dogshit. That site’s a parody, like Bonsai Kitten, right? Right? . No, sorry. From what I gather, it’s rather a scam, and the people who created the concept are making truckloads of money. If you want to raise properly your indigo child, you need to attend costly training courses, buy books, pay family advisers, and so on. You wouldn’t want to be cheap and waste the gifts of your indigo child, would you? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/86 "2005-07-04T17:15:48Z")
> [@Una Persson](#): > > \The whole “every child is an invaluable treasure and should be allowed to do anything it damn well wants to or it’s abuse” mentality of the parents I know in the US has become sickening and borders on an actual mental illness, like an obsessive fad or destructive belief system. We go out of our way to avoid places where children and their passive-agressive co-culprit parents are likely to congregate\ {Extreme, dripping sarcasm ON} Are you allowed to say that in North America? Doesn’t that make you a child-hater? {EDS OFF} I think it’s just about time for someone to start an Indigo Children/Cult of the Child thread. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/87 "2005-07-04T19:38:39Z")
You know, I read about these screaming-kids-in-restaurants incidents, and I sympathize. But this has not been my experience. Do I just live in a well-behaved area or something? I have two small kids myself, and though we rarely take them out, we did the other night. There were several other small children there as well, and none of them screamed or ran around or anything. DangerDad and I go out to eat about once every couple of weeks, usually to family-type places (very casual town, only the priciest restaurants are without children), and we’ve never had a bad experience that I can recall. IME the kids sit and eat their dinner and color or whatever; if they do get down, they stay at their table and move from mom to dad to uncle or whatever. I’ve never seen a kid throw a huge fit at complacent parents or destroy stuff or anything like that.\* Am I just lucky? Is this a big-city thing? It’s hard to believe we have the world’s best parents here (we also have a large poverty/meth/foster children problem, though restaurants aren’t exactly popular hangouts for meth addicts). Is this the kind of thing where you remember the few bad times and forget the many fine experiences? Or what? \*Lest you think I’m just overly tolerant, I’m not. I’m pretty strict about behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/88 "2005-07-05T03:08:20Z")
I bet that Jonathan Swift would have had a solution. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/89 "2005-07-05T03:16:20Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > I bet that Jonathan Swift would have had a solution. So would Alferd Packer… ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/90 "2005-07-05T03:36:10Z")
I was at a family gathering today and my cousin was there with her two kids. They’re still too young (around 5 and 7) to be full Hellspawn but just give them a few years - they’re well set on the path. My cousin had brought their bikes. They got on them and start riding up and down the driveway. Fine, no problem. Then my cousin asked if we could move a car to block the end of the driveway so they wouldn’t go out into the road by mistake. Okay, good idea. My brother moved my parents’ car to block the driveway. Then the boys went racing down the driveway and ran into the car. We figured, okay these things happen. My cousin went over and “reasoned” with her boys, explaining that running into the car was not a good thing to do. Being typical 5 and 7 year olds, they took this to heart and waited a minute before racing back down the driveway into the car again. And again. And again and again and again. My cousin’s response was to give a little shrug of helplessness and occasionally ask the boys to not do this. My parents could see this happening but were too polite to say anything. My aunt came out of the house at one point and saw what was going on and told my cousin (her daughter) that she had to stop her kids. Unfortunately she went back inside and didn’t do it herself. As soon as the kids saw grandma wasn’t going to intervene they knew they were safe and went back to ignoring their mother. Another cousin (my cousin’s brother) suggested that good whack on the head might straighten the boys out. I don’t condone hitting kids (although sometimes I can sympathize) but I was thinking that taking the bikes away from them would have solved this problem and probably been a step in the right direction for future problems. This was not the only sign of problem parenting I saw today, not even counting things I’ve seen in the past. I’m obviosuly not going to step in and tell my cousin how to raise her kids. But I do take some consolation from thinking I have to only see them a few times a year and she has to deal with them every day. ---
**Author:** ![Obsidian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/51bf81/32.png) [@Obsidian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obsidian)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/91 "2005-07-05T05:32:38Z")
I saw these people with a crying baby in a resteraunt last week. I’m guessing they were grandparents, as it was an older couple with a baby about a year, out with friend. The baby started wailing, and the man gets up and takes the baby outside. The woman eats her salad. Then she waves to the man through the window, gets up and meets him at the door. They swap the crying baby so he can come inside and eat. The baby calms down and she comes back inside. They start their dinner, and the baby starts up again. They do the swap-and-eat thing again. I was so impressed I wished I could offer them a few minutes of babysitting so they could have coffee or desert. My biggest pet peeve is when the hostess brings me to my table and it’s already next to screaming hellspawn. I politely say I’m happy to wait longer for an available table in a different area. Sometimes they get really pissy when I do this. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/76d3ee/32.png) [@handsomeone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeone)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/92 "2005-07-05T11:07:16Z")
Two words: smoking section. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/93 "2005-07-05T12:12:50Z")
> [@Una Persson](#): > > Except when we eat with Skipmagic and Auntie Em - those two are like animals. 😉 Well, what kind? I like to think of myself as a tiny baby kitten. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/94 "2005-07-05T13:01:25Z")
> [@](#): > > **handsomeone** said: > Two words: smoking section. It’s usually my one and only salvation from the noise of kids whose parents seem to have gone deaf and blind. Also, the kids that are in there can’t usually run around as much because they lack the breath. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/95 "2005-07-05T13:47:05Z")
It’s times like this I feel happy that hubby is a smoker, we’ll usually end up on the balcony or the smoking section where there’s fewer/no kids and less screaming. Unfortunately they’re removing almost all smoking sections from restaurants in australia, there goes that option. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/96 "2005-07-05T15:24:38Z")
> [@auntie em](#): > > Well, what kind? I like to think of myself as a tiny baby kitten. 🆒 Yeah, right, that’s why there was a gazelle carcass draped over your upstairs balcony. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/97 "2005-07-05T15:43:27Z")
In Florida, they have totally done away with smoking sections in restaurants, so we don’t have that excuse. I hate cigarette smoke, especially while I’m trying to eat, but I’ll take it over screaming brat hellspawn any day. My parents are both teachers, so whenever they go out to restaurants, they always request to not be seated near any tables with little kids. They tell the hostess they’re teachers, they’re tired, and the last thing they want to do is see or hear any more of other people’s children. Usually hostesses and wait staff have a good chuckle at this, and seat my parents somewhere nice and quiet. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/98 "2005-07-05T15:44:19Z")
[QUOTE] > [@Obsidian](#): > > \My biggest pet peeve is when the hostess brings me to my table and it’s already next to screaming hellspawn. I politely say I’m happy to wait longer for an available table in a different area. Sometimes they get really pissy when I do this. You actually ask to sit somewhere else? We have wanted to do that so many times…maybe next time I’ll just sack up and do it. And they get pissy when you do this? If I’m at the point where I’m willing to ask, there will be more than one pissy person there, I suspect. And us non-smokers have little recourse. Our favourite bar and grill is non-smoking - great for us, except parents think this is a neat place to bring their kids now. Um, it’s still a bar - most people are in there drinking and watching sports on the big screen tv’s. It’s still not McDonalds. There are no kid foods on the menu. And I wouldn’t let ANYbody play on that floor. ---
**Author:** ![Obsidian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/51bf81/32.png) [@Obsidian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obsidian)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/99 "2005-07-05T16:55:12Z")
Some look at me like I’ve grown a second head, some nod in understanding, but many just seem pissed. I also get this reaction in resteraunts that have bad tables. Like one I frequent has a couple tables near the front that get a blast of cold air every time the door opens in the winter. Some hostesses get really annoyed when you refuse those tables, most likely because people have been refusing them all day, all week, all month. That, however, is not my problem. I feel like their attitude is “look, someone has to sit here, what makes you so special?” I will happily get back in the queue to wait for a better table. I’ll even leave the resteraunt and go elsewhere. What I will not do is pay the same price as the people in the nice back booth for a meal ruined by environmental factors. I’m not a jerk. I say repeatedly that I’m willing to wait as long as I need to wait for a better table. I simply don’t feel that dining should be a crap shoot. **featherlou** , my friends and I went to a brewery/pub a few months back, to drink some beer, play pool and have some food. It was 11PM. The people at the table next to us had a toddler and a six year old, both of whom were in varying states of hysteria (as I think I would be if someone kept me up the far past my bedtime). I really wanted to go over and smack those parents-- who were completely oblivious. I’ve also seen people take their small children to midnight bowling. Because that’s where a kindergardener wants to be at 1 in the morning-- black light, loud music and 40 lanes of drunk & rowdy college students. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052/100 "2005-07-05T17:39:24Z")
We just got back from Vegas. [yeah, I know. What kind of retard goes into the fucking desert in July!:smack: ) You wouldn’t believe the number of parents who we overheard complaining that they couldn’t take their cum result into the gambling area of the casino. This, by the way, was happening at 1 in the morning. Some of these losers would have their 7 year olds standing right on the edge (where they were allowed) while they went in and played slots! **WTF!** :mad: Around last Valentines day I was in a “naughty but nice” store when a woman came in with a kid in a stroller. That kid had to be almost 5. He barely fit in the stroller! The clerk had the gall to tell that woman she couldn’t bring her little fuck-stain into a porn shop! And you can always count on at least one couple bringing in a child to any “R” rated movie you might go to. Some adults just seem to believe that children are our equals! We raised 3 (all in their 20’s now) with the exact opposite attitude! Our motto was “Never ask a kid what he wants for dinner unless he’s buying!” And then there are parents who look upon their children as absolutely perfect, without fault, regardless of what they are doing (damaging property, hurting another child, or, as in the case of the OP, screaming at the top of their lungs!) My wife calls this “Christ Child Syndrom”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-and-asshole-parents-and-spineless-managers/310052.md?page=6)