# I pit semen trees and all involved parties. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 8, 2004, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607 "2004-11-08T06:56:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607/81 "2004-11-11T21:30:59Z")
> [@Paisley Park](#): > > I’m surprised no one has done an official scientific study. “So, I’ve got a couple years left to get tenure, and it’ll take a while to do my research , and then maybe upwards of a year to get it published, so I need to get started on a project now.” “Right, publish or perish…” “So, I was thinking, I can do a massive study on trees around the nation which smell like cum. I can get so involved in this research that my lab becomes suffused with a pungent and clinging odor. I can do this, day in and day out, study these trees which smell like cum, and then hope I get published. Or I can study goldfish.” “So how those goldfish looking?” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607/82 "2004-11-11T21:42:22Z")
Remember that at least one Doper’s goldfish smell like cum too, the guy that used to masturbate into the aquarium when he was out of fish food. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607/83 "2004-11-12T00:41:45Z")
**lieu** , was this your 10,000th post? Or did you sneak off and post it somewhere else? Because it this was #10K, what a doozy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607/84 "2004-11-12T01:00:18Z")
> [@anu-la1979](#): > > Seriously, I’ve been wandering around since yesterday trying to conjure up the smell of pungent spunk. It’s weighing heavily on my mind. Is it acrid, metallic etc. etc.?? I’m really going to have to get a move on in terms of getting my hands on a sample. I once had the misfortune of smelling such a substance as you describe. It’s not an experience I want to repeat. The producer of the jizz was a heavy smoker, drinker, and eater of meat, which combination might have something to do with the bouquet of his emissions (according to vegetarian ex-boyfriend whose spunk was not funky at all). It was a smell reminiscent of sweaty old gym socks but worse. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Bianca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@Miss\_Bianca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Bianca)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607/85 "2004-11-12T01:50:14Z")
Don’t answer if you’d rather not, **stately plump buck mulligan** , but do you go to University of Illinois? Somehow, reading your post gave me a vivid mental (and olfactory) picture of the stanky trees between Lincoln and Greg. It’s been twenty years since I’ve been there, but I can still smell those trees as if it were yesterday. If it is U. of I., I remember reading an article in the _Daily Illini_ saying that those trees were female gingkos. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607/86 "2004-11-16T19:00:57Z")
I’m currently posing as an Illini, Miss Bianca. When are the trees in bloom? I’ll go take a whiff. Lincoln and Gregory…so are you referring to some place on the undergrad campus??? (sorry, I’m in a grad school built next to S. Farms so I don’t venture much into that area) ---
**Author:** ![Paisley\_Park](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Paisley\_Park](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paisley_Park)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607/87 "2004-11-16T19:09:04Z")
> [@scout1222](#): > > Wow, **Paisley Park** , you’ve certainly done your homework on the various bouquets found in semen. I bow in awe. > > What kills me is that I’m going to be thinking of all of this the next time I “smell semen”. I’m going to be in big trouble if I start laughing because of this. It’s going to be ALL YOUR FAULT (everyone who’s posting here) if things go south. 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stately_plump_buck_mulligan)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607/88 "2004-11-16T19:15:00Z")
Update: I think they are [ginkgo trees](http://www.greendealer-exotic-seeds.com/seeds/Images/GinkgoTree.gif). Samples to be collected tomorrow for analysis. Oh, and I’ll take some leaves from the trees too. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607/89 "2004-11-17T01:18:19Z")
Well, I for one have no idea what semen smells like, and didn’t even know it had a smell until my wife complained about the “semen trees.” I think I am physiologically unable to detect the odor of semen. But then, I have never been near any of it but my own. At first I thought she was crazy. But then, she thought I was nuts comparing the odor of palm blooms to sweaty horse. Scene - the car, driving home from dining out. Her: “Smell that?” Me: “What? Did I leave the handbrake on again?” Her: “No. The semen trees.” Me: “The _WHAT??_” Her: “The semen trees. There are trees that smell like sperm. Don’t you smell it?” Me (inhaling, considering): “No. I didn’t even know sperm smelled.” Her: “Well, it does. And these trees smell just like them.” Me: “Mine doesn’t. I’ve handled loads of it, and never smelled a thing. At least not as long as I washed the towel under my bed every so often.” Her: “Yes it does. And I don’t doubt it. And that’s _gross_.” Me: “Are you sure fresh semen has an odor? What does it smell like?” Her: “I can’t describe it. Like sperm. Nothing else is like it, it’s unmistakable.” Me: “Is it the palms? They’re in bloom. But to me they smell like sweaty old horses.” Her: “No they don’t.” Me: “You haven’t had to retrieve a frightened cat from the top of a palm in bloom. Now that I’ve identified the smell, I notice it every spring.” Her: “Palms don’t smell. You’re crazy.” Me: “_I’m_ crazy? You’re the one who insists that sperm smells.” And so on… after that, we went on to discuss what they call Big Macs in Paris. ---
**Author:** ![infamousmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d6d6ee/32.png) [@infamousmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/infamousmom)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2004, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607/90 "2004-11-17T01:37:49Z")
> [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > There was, no kidding, a band called ‘The Sperm Birds’. My late father’s favorite joke was that the children of the Sex Pistols formed their own band and called it Sperm Count. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2004, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607/91 "2004-11-17T03:16:40Z")
> [@TonyF](#): > > Oddly, the day I discovered the cum trees was the same day I noticed cows had discovered oral sex. No joke. It was a bike ride to remember. Was it good for YOU? > [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > There was, no kidding, a band called ‘The Sperm Birds’. They ripped off Cerebus the Aardvark for an album cover. There was a banned, er, band, in Boston called “_Vas Deferens_”. Maybe that’s how it got to the trees. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-semen-trees-and-all-involved-parties/273607.md?page=4)