# I pit slow assholes who take up the whole damn sidewalk **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 29, 2012, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198 "2012-03-29T20:17:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/61 "2012-03-30T14:01:13Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > … And it’s always the same litany of complaints: > > Stopping on the other side of the door > Stopping at the top of an escalator > Not being aware that people are behind them who want to walk fast… It is almost as if you are listing a set of common annoyances and people are coming to the Pit to harmlessly vent. Seriously, if you aren’t annoyed by that type of behavior, then you are one of the people we are talking about. ETA: Can we include people who just fucking stop in the middle of the sidewalk for no fucking reason? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/62 "2012-03-30T14:18:04Z")
Let’s not forget the people who walk one way, while looking a different way, usually while trying to disengage from a conversation. Why must I always be carrying a cup of something hot when I encounter these people? ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/63 "2012-03-30T14:18:32Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > ETA: Can we include people who just fucking stop in the middle of the sidewalk for no fucking reason? Oh, but it’s for a reason. They’re absolutely _engrossed_ in a story they’re reading on their iShit about the onion harvest in Bulgaria, or a text message from Katie saying that Julie is a bitch because she broke up with Marko. Compared to that, your need to use the sidewalk is pretty fucking unimportant. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/64 "2012-03-30T14:42:31Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > You mean you’ve never had the experience of walking behind someone who, whenever you try to get around them, always manage to move sideways so they’re right in front of you? No matter which way you move? > > Seriously? Yes, I find this a curious phenomenon. Just like purses can contain more objects than can be explained by physics, there are just some people who take up more space than they physically take up. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/65 "2012-03-30T15:33:52Z")
[Relevant to this thread and worth the click.](http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2001-09-30/) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/66 "2012-03-30T16:07:09Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > [Relevant to this thread and worth the click.](http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2001-09-30/) I love the footstep noise. I’ve done that. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/67 "2012-03-30T16:14:22Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > [Relevant to this thread and worth the click.](http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2001-09-30/) People like that ahead of my wife and I will elicit a loud “Move it, Canada!”\* Then we ignore their glares and plow right through the middle of the pack. - - Long story involving a group of clueless Canucks in Las Vegas. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/68 "2012-03-30T16:15:50Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > People like that ahead of my wife and I will elicit a loud “Move it, Canada!”\* Then we ignore their glares and plow right through the middle of the pack. “Make a hole, Regular Navy!” ---
**Author:** ![newcomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e5b9ba/32.png) [@newcomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcomer)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/69 "2012-03-30T17:02:40Z")
This is a funny thread… Now that I have a suburb-train-to-downtown experience of several years, I have two special cases of walkers. One is when in a narrow two lane hallway or a walkway, you have two people walking next to each other coming into you from the opposite direction and they simply don’t have any intention to line up so that you can go through on your side. Good thing is I’m 6”3 and 210 lbs so usually they do it a nick of time to avoid a bump. I always find it funny that they give me this dirty look like I shouldn’t be there or something. The other case is when you are a behind a slow walker of a special kind; the person is physically capable to make longer steps but somehow, to me, it appears as they are partially walking backwards. Mind you, not a full backward step but you the leg tries to make a full forward step but it bends mysteriously and they make maybe 2/3 of the intended step. And that’s extra frustrating because with little skill they could be much faster. But overall it doesn’t happen all the frequently… so mostly, I find it funny. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/70 "2012-03-30T17:18:10Z")
> [@Eva\_Luna](#): > > I see that, and raise you: > > People who stand _right at the exit_ of a **revolving door,** so that your choices are a) plow right through them, or b) go around in circles until they figure out how idiotic they are. And then there are the revolving door super pushers. These are the people who get in right after you and give a good shove, clipping your heels. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/71 "2012-03-30T19:09:20Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > May I add people walking backwards? > > Even if it’s only a few steps, it’s just so insanely stupid to do in a crowded place that it blows my mind. > > Umm, hello - you can’t see where you’re going! What the fuck is wrong with you? \ I don’t know; it’s like one of my basic rules of driving - always look where you’re driving. It seems so obvious, yet not everyone does it. > [@tdn](#): > > That’s because it’s always the same shit every day.\ That is definitely part of my irritation. It’s not that I have only once in my life had to go around someone who stopped dead in front of me in the mall to look at their phone more closely and it irritated me _so much_ that I can’t stop being irritated at it - it’s the umpteenth time that that has happened, tossed in on top of all the other things people keep doing to show how much they don’t think about the fact that there are other people in the world. The worst part of all the irritating things they do is that we can’t join in and be clueless, too, because once you’ve learned to not be an asshole, there’s no going back. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/72 "2012-03-30T19:18:14Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > The worst part of all the irritating things they do is that we can’t join in and be clueless, too, because once you’ve learned to not be an asshole, **there’s no going back**. Bahhh…I’ve fallen off that wagon so many times I look like the Elephant Man. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/73 "2012-03-30T19:19:46Z")
> [@FixMyIgnorance](#): > > I pit slow assholes who take up the whole damn sidewalk Just drive around them. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2012, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/74 "2012-03-31T15:27:29Z")
I hate these assholes, the least they can do is stay to one side of the sidewalk. No they need the whole sidewalk to meander. Another unrelated sidewalk debacle I witnessed was a women walking with a small child who appeared to be looking ahead, even though I was behind her I could clearly see a pigeon walking in front of her. Like that episode of Seinfeld I thought we clearly had a deal with the city pigeons. But for some reason the pigeon maybe it had just woken up, was having a bad day, was hung over but got too close to the women. It was bad enough when the women tripped on the pigeon, but panicked and stomped over it. Leaving it crippled with a broken wing. Then kept on walking with her kid. Thanks dumb ass for ruining my morning, look where your walking. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/75 "2012-03-31T15:55:29Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > Just drive around them. Just drive **over** them. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2012, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/76 "2012-03-31T16:13:54Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > It was bad enough when the women tripped on the pigeon, but panicked and stomped over it. Leaving it crippled with a broken wing. Then kept on walking with her kid. Yeah, she should have stomped on it once more, put it out of its misery. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/77 "2012-03-31T17:22:11Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > Leaving it crippled with a broken wing. Please tell me that you took the poor bird to the vet, and have now adopted it as a pet. Wait, wrong episode. ---
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2012, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/78 "2012-03-31T22:16:24Z")
Hey, save a little venom for the fucktard drivers who block traffic because the line in the drive-thru at McDonald’s is too long. Their solution? Come to a dead stop IN THE STREET until the line moves up enough for them to actually pull in. Meanwhile people behind them are hitting the brakes and swerving to avoid them. God forbid they get off their fat asses and trundle up to the empty counter inside the building… ---
**Author:** ![pikey\_pete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pikey\_pete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pikey_pete)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2012, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/79 "2012-04-01T01:25:59Z")
I have the same problem. I walk fast. I want to get where I’m going. sorry. But, even when I have the sprog with me and I’m walking slow, window shopping, etc, I always keep aware of my surroundings. I don’t want to impede others. it is quite rude to impede others. There is nothing wrong with walking slowly, but if you’re going to do it, don’t take up the whole fucking walkway. I’m sorry if you, like an ever-increasing number of my fellow Americans, are morbidly obese and therefore need to walk single file in order to allow the faster pedestrians to pass you. being obese doesn’t entitle you to be rude. Unfortunately, the last 30 years in the US has seen a huge increase in the level of entitlement felt by its citizens. No one cares anymore if they and their three friends are walking abreast in the mall, keeping all the sane people crawling along at a snails pace behind them being saturation bombed by consumerism, because their fat asses feel the right to block the entire fucking walkway. Guess what? not everyone wants to spend time in a shopping mall, but sometimes my favorite niece wants some trinket which is only obtainable at the damned mall. I wish all the stores had exterior entrances as well as interior, that way I could get in and out that much quicker. while we’re on the subject of rude entitled assholes…people dumb enough to be texting while driving always look pissed off when you honk at them because they’re drifting into your lane, and you’d rather not have to file an insurance claim. fuck them. put down the god damned phone and drive. it wasn’t that important before we all had cell phones, it isn’t that bloody important now. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2012, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198/80 "2012-04-01T01:39:20Z")
> [@pikey\_pete](#): > > Unfortunately, the last 30 years in the US has seen a huge increase in the level of entitlement felt by its citizens. No one cares anymore if they and their three friends are walking abreast in the mall, keeping all the sane people crawling along at a snails pace behind them being saturation bombed by consumerism, because their fat asses feel the right to block the entire fucking walkway. Sorry Gramps, but thirty years ago or thereabouts people were getting just as het up about this issue as you are now. From an [April 23, 1986 Miss Manners column](http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1345&dat=19860423&id=aG9OAAAAIBAJ&sjid=wvkDAAAAIBAJ&pg=6483,1761781): > [@](#): > > **Dear Miss Manners** : I am a college professor and when I walk across campus, I frequently encounter three or more uncaring free spirits walking toward me, taking up the entire walkway. > > I used to step on the grass to avoid them, but lately I have been lowering my shoulder, plunging straight ahead […] > > I have observed similar behavior in shopping malls, which I am convinced harbor the most moronic and ill-bred cretins in the Western Hemisphere […] > > **Gentle Reader** : […] The simplest solution is to go around them. If your pride will not allow that, you may politely command their attention to their oversight by calling out “Excuse me” as you wait for them to step aside. I agree that obliviously hogging the walkway is and always had been rude behavior, but let’s not kid ourselves that this is a new social problem. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-slow-assholes-who-take-up-the-whole-damn-sidewalk/617198.md?page=5)