# I Pit Smacked Arses Who... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2008, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135 "2008-07-11T14:46:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/81 "2008-07-12T22:28:31Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > Well, go for it, but complaining about “smacked arses” who don’t understand you doesn’t strike me as a strategy “a guy of above average intelligence” (or anyone, really) will get him a lot of friends. Nor does a disingenuous “Oh, you GOT me, wrist-slap!” It’s not funny or clever. [QUOTE=ivan astikov] It’s funny from where I’m sat, aged 46, and being spoken to like I’m a disruptive teenager. [/QUOTE] Keep in mind that it’s well into the evening in England, and **ivan** is most likely well into his second bottle of gin. I’m not stalking you! Really! ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/82 "2008-07-12T22:45:39Z")
[QUOTE=Frank] Keep in mind that it’s well into the evening in England, and **ivan** is most likely well into his second bottle of gin. I’m not stalking you! Really! [/QUOTE] - ahem! \* It’s vodka actually…with a splash of lemon. Here ya go, pour your own, Frank. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/83 "2008-07-12T22:54:31Z")
Real lemon, or Bitter Lemon? I really got hooked on the latter the last time I was abroad, and it is damned hard to find around here. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/84 "2008-07-12T23:04:52Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Real lemon, or Bitter Lemon? I really got hooked on the latter the last time I was abroad, and it is damned hard to find around here. [/QUOTE] Real lemon, although I will settle for the other kind if absolutely necessary! 🙂 p.s. sorry about saying you were a ‘smacked arse’ when it was really me. Shall we let bygones be gone, and begotten, Silenus? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/85 "2008-07-12T23:09:27Z")
De nada. No harm, no foul. Prosit! ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/86 "2008-07-12T23:26:34Z")
Now you’re acting like a Doper, **ivan**. Welcome! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2008, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/87 "2008-07-13T02:40:30Z")
[QUOTE=ivan astikov] - proffers wrist for deserved smacking \* I must restrain my jerkiness at all times while here on SDMB. I must restrain my jerkiness at all times while here on SDMB. I must restrain my jerkiness at all times while here on SDMB. I must restrain my jerkiness at all times while here on SDMB.\ [/QUOTE] Well, yeah, do restrain your jerkiness - we’ll all have a better time. I’m sorry I came off as lecturing you - I was aiming for gently informing, not lecturing. 🙂 **Frank** , I hesitated over posting that we tell moderators instead of squabbling; we may have the odd squabble or two around these parts. Per hour. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2008, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/88 "2008-07-13T05:51:22Z")
Ivan, I’ll offer you a piece of advice. Don’t overinflate these things. Nobody is plotting against you. There is no secret cabal discussing you. This is a very active board with hundreds of people posting every day. The reality is that some people post here for years and nobody even knows their name. There’s no way you’ve provoked any major reaction within a couple of weeks. So if you let whatever this is all about go, nobody else is going to know or care. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2008, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/89 "2008-07-13T07:59:49Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Don’t overinflate these things. Nobody is plotting against you. There is no secret cabal discussing you. [/QUOTE] Unless you’re playing IN a Mafia game over in the Games Forums! Then you’ve got all the rights in the world to be paranoid about each and every person out there! But it’s a great way to introduce yourself to the boards and get a feel for it. Sort of like the kiddie pool before going over the deep end of things like GD and the Pit. I personally love wading in the Games Forums and the Mundane areas, and it was only over time that I got used to how the rest of the board operates and ebbs and flows, did I try to venture out into the other areas. I think you should def. stick around and see what happens, just don’t try to do too much, and take your time around here to enjoy the sites and sounds. Though with a guest membership, I suppose you can’t just sit around and wait forever, but still. Good luck on the future Doping you do! ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2008, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/90 "2008-07-13T11:05:25Z")
I must be unusually slow today, **ivan** , because I’ve only just understood your name. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2008, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/91 "2008-07-13T11:26:48Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] I must be unusually slow today, **ivan** , because I’ve only just understood your name. [/QUOTE] I hope you are not accusing me of obscurantism? Surely that’s no way to treat a guest, Doper’s? ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2008, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/92 "2008-07-13T12:47:30Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] I must be unusually slow today, **ivan** , because I’ve only just understood your name. [/QUOTE] And I must be even slower, because I still don’t get the name. Enlighten me, please. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2008, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/93 "2008-07-13T12:51:14Z")
[QUOTE=Atomicktom] And I must be even slower, because I still don’t get the name. Enlighten me, please. [/QUOTE] **I’ve a nasty cough**!?? I was smoking a bit of ‘herbals’ at the time I registered! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2008, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/94 "2008-07-13T12:56:21Z")
p.s. And I was totally unaware of the existence of the Ivan Nastikov, of TOG forum land, until someone on here asked if I was the same person. I know… Google is your friend, and that! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2008, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/95 "2008-07-13T17:51:50Z")
:smack: And here I was wondering… “What’s he want a stick of?” ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/96 "2008-07-13T17:59:30Z")
[QUOTE=RoOsh] :smack: And here I was wondering… “What’s he want a stick of?” [/QUOTE] You mean, ivan astikov-rock…? That does sound better than mine, doesn’t it! If I’d have been female, my user name would have been Ivana Bealone!!! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/97 "2008-07-14T19:22:29Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] I’m Spartacus! Actually, I am. I reported your insult to all hunters to the Mods before you posted your half-hearted “apology.” Why report it rather than confront you with it? Because 1) it’s what we are supposed to do around here, and 2) because I’m on vacation and have better things to do than devote much time to the likes of you. [/QUOTE] No, I’m Spartacus! (too apparently) And **nastycough** is a douche. I’m glad he was kind enough to open a thread in the appropriate forum for me to be able to express that. I’m not buying this apologetic nonsense either. It looks more like you got closer to banning than you wanted to and you’re trying to get back in everyone’s good graces before your final flameout in a week or two. You can have your whiny bitchfest. And you can start more great debate threads with the sole purpose of pissing people off. But I guarantee that this is the last interaction I’ll have with you. You’re not worth the two minutes this post took to write and I’m not wasting anymore time. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/98 "2008-07-14T19:41:56Z")
[QUOTE=brewha] No, I’m Spartacus! (too apparently) And **nastycough** is a douche. I’m glad he was kind enough to open a thread in the appropriate forum for me to be able to express that. I’m not buying this apologetic nonsense either. It looks more like you got closer to banning than you wanted to and you’re trying to get back in everyone’s good graces before your final flameout in a week or two. You can have your whiny bitchfest. And you can start more great debate threads with the sole purpose of pissing people off. But I guarantee that this is the last interaction I’ll have with you. You’re not worth the two minutes this post took to write and I’m not wasting anymore time. [/QUOTE] Aw diddums, and fuck you too, my fellow douchebag. If you feel qualified to judge and condemn me on the limited basis of my time posting here, then fair enough. No one is forcing you to interact act with me, and I’m sure I won’t miss such a negative fucker’s contributions! ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/99 "2008-07-14T21:06:39Z")
**Brewha** : See, I can be just as negative with my responses as you can, but 2 negatives don’t cancel each other out, they just make a bigger negative, and someone then has to come and correct the imbalance. I’m not on here to make enemies, and I don’t think you are either, so let’s shake cyber-hands and put this shit aside! Deal? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135/100 "2008-07-14T21:23:06Z")
[QUOTE=ivan astikov] Aw diddums, and fuck you too, my fellow douchebag. If you feel qualified to judge and condemn me on the limited basis of my time posting here, then fair enough. No one is forcing you to interact act with me, and I’m sure I won’t miss such a negative fucker’s contributions! [/QUOTE] > [@ivan astikov](#): > > See, I can be just as negative with my responses as you can, but 2 negatives don’t cancel each other out, they just make a bigger negative, and someone then has to come and correct the imbalance. I’m not on here to make enemies, and I don’t think you are either, so let’s shake cyber-hands and put this shit aside! Deal? Multiple personality disorder or just plain asshole, you decide… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-smacked-arses-who/456135.md?page=6)