# I pit southern girls **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 4, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062 "2012-06-04T18:35:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Woeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Woeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Woeg)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/181 "2012-06-12T19:00:12Z")
Have you tried the Strictly Platonic section of Craigslist, by chance? Or the Activities section? Two months is still plenty of time to catch a movie or three. Post something like: “Friendly guy in town for a couple of months, just looking for a friend to catch a movie with or have dinner out. Not looking for anything more than a nice evening out, some friendly chatter, and that’s it.” Or even be more specific: “Hi! I’m from out of town, here on a limited stay. I really want to go check out the mini-golf place, but I’d hate to go alone. Anyone want to go play some minigolf, my treat? Maybe get ice cream after? Let me know!” I just think you’ll have better luck this way than in bars. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/182 "2012-06-12T19:54:28Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > I will say one thing that discredits the South, and if I’m in error, please fight my ignorance: > > For a place that’s so full of trees, your traditional carpentry sucks. I would go so far as to argue that there is much traditional southern _anything_ when it comes to artisanry. There is traditional southern architecture- in fact there are numerous southern architectural styles; if you were somehow to magically transfer mansions from the Tidewater, Charleston, Savannah, New Orleans, and Natchez into a sterile room it would take a 5 second cursory examination to tell you which is which as each has a unique look (Charleston’s probably more so due to the porch entrances); folk architecture is also highly regional and specific to a particular time as well (i.e. a rural Georgia house of 1830 is distinguishable from one of 1890 if you know what to look for) but would take a bit longer of course. However, you’re right: the craftsmanship is not as easy to identify unless it has some signature stroke of a particular artist. The most regionally distinctive I’ve seen is of the Mississippi River plantations (particularly Laura and some of the outbuildings of Oak Alley) where the artisans were slaves either born in Africa or raised in such a way they still had African roots. There was actually far greater ancestral diversity among the slaves and free blacks in the south than there was among the whites; the vast majority of the whites were of English and Scots/Ulster stock except in places like New Orleans where there was the French influence, while the Africans brought here were from a much wider spectrum of ancestral groups and cultures and these were kept alive more than you might think. (Wasn’t true of all slaves, obviously; here in Alabama one of the foremost builders/carvers was a slave named Horace King whose work was brilliant as far as the engineering but didn’t have any real visual panache, but then it’s doubtful King had any sense of African identity while slaves along the Mississippi absolutely did.) You’ll also find that with almost all of the great southern mansions the woodworkers were brought in from New England. Hardly ever were they ‘local boys’, even if local is extended to ‘tri-state area’. I just finished reading a book about the building of Longwood near Natchez (yes, my reading taste really is that boring, no apologies) in which the owner, who was probably OCD (and I suspect also gay, though he was married- even his wife sent letters… sorry, I’m hijacking a hijack of a hijack) is in constant letter writing to his Philadelphia architects discussing what he does and doesn’t like about the work of the latest craftsman sent down. I live in Montgomery, AL, and there’s a city 15 miles from here called Prattville that was a major milltown before the Civil until the mid/late 20th century. It was founded by/ named for Daniel Pratt, a New England artist, architect and craftsman [and cousin of Mitt Romney through his Pratt ancestry] who made his quite fat living designing mansions for the nouveau riche of the Deep South until he went native; he became a millionaire industrialist, designing the gin and mill himself. (He was 100% Confederate in his sympathies during the war. His own mansion was said to be a wonder with a hanging spiral staircase and all manner of carvings, but, alas, it burned in the 1930s. I wonder were there schools for craftsman in the South (I know there were some in the north and in Canada) or if it was solely a journeyman/apprenticeship thing. Could also make a difference. In any case, I have another theory as to why southerners- the ones who weren’t filthy rich anyway- didn’t have much by way of traditional artisanship in their houses: impermanence. The south was an exceptionally mobile society geographically: even for the well to do it wasn’t that uncommon for a family to make a half dozen major moves during their life and change houses more often than that. Everything was based on agriculture, specifically tobacco and cotton, and both of those crops absolutely destroy the soil, plus southern families tended to be about a child or two larger which meant more heirs to provide land for, so families were constantly on the move, as opposed to areas of the north where it took a lot longer for wheatfields and apple orchards and onion fields to make a dent in the soil and so many earned their living from the sea or from factories or banking anyway. Basically, why spend a lot of time beautifying a house that you’re not going to keep more than a few years anyway? Just concentrate on comfort from the oppressive heat and if you want pretty then make pretty dresses and buy nice furniture and art. (Interesting thing about the paintings in southern homes: even the ones made by portrait artists as opposed to limners rarely featured remotely southern backgrounds.) [lots more but tldr and hijacked already] ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/183 "2012-06-12T20:00:32Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > Right. Because I am blaming the women around for not liking me, because they have no reason to not like me. > > They don’t know me, their experience with me is maybe 20 min of polite conversation, and obviously no one here knows me or has talked with me but my personality is such where I don’t come across as intimidating. And in those twenty minutes you emerge wanting to punch one of them in the vagina for calling you a Yankee as you whine on the Internet about what bitches they are not to be honored by knowing you. Far from entitled, you seem perfectly charming, bringing to mind that romantic moment from _Deadwood_ where Swearengen grabs Trixie’s cunt for disobedience the first time (who didn’t smile a little when that happened?). Gulf Shores girls are just undeserving. Try Biloxi. It has lots of casinoes. Casinoes is good girls. Also military bases, you might find a GI Jane wanting to get a freak on. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/184 "2012-06-12T22:35:25Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > What I love about this- and I’ve heard it too- is that what it’s saying is “millions of long dead and turned to bone and dust guys, a tiny portion of whom happened to live in the area of the nation I’m from, managed to militarily defeat millions of long dead and turned to bone and dust guys, a tiny portion of whom happened to live in the area of the nation where you’re from, after an intense struggle that lasted four years, led to hundreds of thousands of deaths and millions of injuries on both sides, long before [most likely] anybody in earshot’s grandparents were born”. The words ‘we’ and ‘your’ are completely totally erroneous; neither side has any real or tangible connection to anything in the war be it atrocity or valor. You wonder if the same people would brag to a Sauk Indian “We” kicked your asses across the Mississippi!" a generation before, or if they’d tell a Spaniard “We” showed that bitch [Maria Christina](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria_Christina_of_Austria)who’s boss!" a generation later, or if their knowledge of history is limited to 1865, which they seem to think was a relatively easy fight. > Either way, when somebody is classless and clueless enough to say this it’s the one time that I really _hope_ for rednecks to show up. Preferably some who wish to avenge the blood filled boot of Albert Sidney Johnston, and will release said person only if he can answer questions about Albert Sidney Johnston and write an essay about the effects of the 1876 Election on Reconstruction and do a very lengthy objective section to prove he knows one fucking thing about said war. As a born and bred Yankee, let me just say “DAY-um, boy, thet was a hunnerd kinds o’ beautiful!” \* (and then I try to slap my knee, but I’m also stomping at the same time, and I miss)\* ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/185 "2012-06-13T02:43:05Z")
> [@digs](#): > > As a born and bred Yankee, let me just say “DAY-um, boy, thet was a hunnerd kinds o’ beautiful!” \*[SIZE=“1”] Wasn’t it? I don’t think most southerners at Corinth could tell you who died at Shiloh. Matter of fact I would say those that wave a battle flag most are the ones least knowledgable. Once you have read Shelby Footes monster tome and walked the sepulcheral silence of the peach orchard knowing how much blood was shed it should quell any chest thumping on either side. It was a near thing. If not for Pickett holding the sunken road reinforcements would not have arrived in time and Grant would have been done for, if not captured then demoted for drunkeness which would have been a grave mistake. It’s a fascinating study but praise jeebus “we” lost. Ingrained in the sort of agriculture which supplied Europe but could only be supported by slavery it would have been forever before it was abolished. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/186 "2012-06-13T05:53:16Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > I would go so far as to argue that there is much traditional southern _anything_ when it comes to artisanry. Oops- I just realized this says the exact opposite of what was intended. I meant it to read > [@Sampiro](#): > > I would go so far as to argue that there is _NOT_ much traditional southern _anything_ when it comes to artisanry. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/187 "2012-06-13T06:06:20Z")
I’d pretty much forget about dating in this place. Wait two months, then go somewhere you can stay awhile. Get to know people, find out who knows who but try not to be all Inspektor Klink about it. If you really want a girlfriend once you have a sort of, you know, home, spend some time figuring out who is the hottest one in the area instead of just generally liking all the girls- that isn’t very romantic, is it? ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/188 "2012-06-13T08:40:07Z")
The first thing that hit me _in this particular thread_ was "I’m looking for friends, but _not of my gender._ (Immediately suspect.) Which leads me to believe you’re looking for some “summer lovin’” “under the boardwalk,” to post on Facebook in the Fall. Not likely, if you’ve started out all resentful-like that it hasn’t fallen into your lap. I’ve responded to other of your threads. :smack: The last one, I practically told you where you could _park._ You are NOT bad looking, but I think your attitude may be. I would venture to say that you have the same batting average back in Indiana. Please hear this: People are the same wherever you go. They want to be liked. That involves respect and appreciation. (BTW I came back into this thread to say "So far I have abstained from posting, and I want my points!) Now I have forfeited them. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/189 "2012-06-13T14:33:16Z")
In terms of traditional arts, it seems that the good stuff tends to be African-American (meaning, literally, from slaves from Africa) - look at the sweetgrass baskets of Charleston or the pottery with the faces or what have you. And of course these are all portable goods, for obvious reasons, and useful household goods. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/190 "2012-06-13T15:37:33Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > The first thing that hit me _in this particular thread_ was "I’m looking for friends, but _not of my gender._ (Immediately suspect.) Which leads me to believe you’re looking for some “summer lovin’” “under the boardwalk,” to post on Facebook in the Fall. > > Not likely, if you’ve started out all resentful-like that it hasn’t fallen into your lap. > > I’ve responded to other of your threads. :smack: The last one, I practically told you where you could _park._ > You are NOT bad looking, but I think your attitude may be. > I would venture to say that you have the same batting average back in Indiana. > > Please hear this: People are the same wherever you go. They want to be liked. That involves respect and appreciation. > > (BTW I came back into this thread to say "So far I have abstained from posting, and I want my points!) Now I have forfeited them. I’m very confused over your post. So you do think that all I want is “summer lovin”? or you don’t because you said “not likely” Also why are you smacking your head at my other threads? What other threads did you respond in? What about telling me where I can park? And lastly do you think I’m _not_ treating people with respect and appreciation? Cuz again I’ve said over and over I’m not looking to hook up and when I do talk to people I do ask very platonic questions ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/191 "2012-06-14T02:22:22Z")
Yes, it sounds like you’re looking for some “summer lovin’” to me. To paraphrase, you said, pretty emphatically, “I don’t want any guy friends.” Then “The girls aren’t responding to me well.” I can’t find the other thread but it’s where you asked posters from _Pensacola, Gulf Shores & Foley_ to tell you what there was to do in those areas. I gave you a lot of info and you pinpointed your stomping grounds a little more, as I recall. I thought you were looking for somebody to hang out with, more like a buddy to feel better about going places instead of being alone. That old “assume” thing, I guess. I said “Unlikely” in so far as you meeting a “friend,” since you’re already wanting to punch girls in the vagina. People pick up on stuff like that and it’s not exactly conducive to forging new friendships. Maybe when your mom comes down you won’t be looking so intently and might even find yourself getting to know somebody along the way, without even trying. You’ve got plenty of time to let things unfold naturally if you give them a chance. IMHO ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/192 "2012-06-14T17:57:53Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > Yes, it sounds like you’re looking for some “summer lovin’” to me. To paraphrase, you said, pretty emphatically, “I don’t want any guy friends.” Then “The girls aren’t responding to me well.” > > I can’t find the other thread but it’s where you asked posters from _Pensacola, Gulf Shores & Foley_ to tell you what there was to do in those areas. I gave you a lot of info and you pinpointed your stomping grounds a little more, as I recall. I thought you were looking for somebody to hang out with, more like a buddy to feel better about going places instead of being alone. That old “assume” thing, I guess. > > I said “Unlikely” in so far as you meeting a “friend,” since you’re already wanting to punch girls in the vagina. People pick up on stuff like that and it’s not exactly conducive to forging new friendships. > > Maybe when your mom comes down you won’t be looking so intently and might even find yourself getting to know somebody along the way, without even trying. You’ve got plenty of time to let things unfold naturally if you give them a chance. IMHO I don’t know how I can say it loud enough. I. AM. NOT. LOOKING. FOR. ANYTHING. MORE. THAN. A. FRIEND! I said that I want a girl friend because I don’t get along with guys…I said those words almost exactly. I don’t like hanging out with guys because I am not a very good guy. I don’t talk about sex. I hate burp and fart jokes, I’m not that much of a fan of dirty jokes even, and I don’t like talking about women that they’re things. Guys do this and I feel uncomfortable. So I like hanging out with girls because of that. I’ve said time and time again that all I want is someone to do things with me so that I don’t have to be alone. I get it. It’s not your fault. You see a guy wanting companionship with a girl and you think sex, I get it. The only thing I don’t get is why after I have said OVER and OVER and OVER again that I don’t want some summer lovin/hookup/fuckbuddy/girlfriend/long-term relationship. I want a friend. A friend. A goddamn friend. I only want to punch them in the vagina when after talking with them for 10 minutes about nothing in particular they automatically talk down to me as a person because I’m from the north and therefore a “yankee”. And finally I don’t frequent the pit very often so I don’t really know what the reputation of posts are down here…but I honestly didn’t that that much anger at the situation. I was more or less starting this as a funny observation/mini frustration. Now I’m angry because I’m being told of intentions that not only do I not have, but have repeatedly refuted. Please don’t assume. Please don’t think that I’m as bad a person as you all might think I am for wanting female companionship. And please please PLEASE listen to the words I say when I say them ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/193 "2012-06-14T18:07:35Z")
A friend, then the benefits start. Yeah, we get it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/194 "2012-06-14T20:00:06Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > I only want to punch them in the vagina when after talking with them for 10 minutes about nothing in particular they automatically talk down to me as a person because I’m from the north and therefore a “yankee”. I really don’t think you grasp that expressing a desire to commit sexual violence against women, _even in jest_, doesn’t make you sound like a nice guy or one that most women, of any place of origin, would want to befriend. Most straight guys I know, even the ones who tell burp jokes, really don’t joke about things like that. That said, it sounds like you might do better in a gay club. Most have no shortage of straight women and they’re usually the sort who are looking for a male friend just to hang with. If they aren’t bothered by a person being gay they probably aren’t bothered by a person being northern. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/195 "2012-06-14T20:09:28Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > That said, it sounds like you might do better in a gay club. Most have no shortage of straight women and they’re usually the sort who are looking for a male friend just to hang with. If they aren’t bothered by a person being gay they probably aren’t bothered by a person being northern. Ya know…there’s an odd sort of sense in that… ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/196 "2012-06-14T20:55:43Z")
As a straight guy, I can endorse people being friendlier in gay clubs than in typical clubs. If one isn’t on Grindr, one isn’t expected to hook up, which makes conversation less stilted. > [@Sampiro](#): > > rewards the actions of people who died generations before I was born What about inheritance? ---
**Author:** ![Ibn\_Warraq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19b73/32.png) [@Ibn\_Warraq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibn_Warraq)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/197 "2012-06-14T21:08:56Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > I don’t like hanging out with guys because I am not a very good guy. I don’t talk about sex. I hate burp and fart jokes, I’m not that much of a fan of dirty jokes even, and I don’t like talking about women that they’re things. Guys do this and I feel uncomfortable. So I like hanging out with girls because of that. Your understanding of men seems highly stereotypical and absurdly simplistic. It would be like saying that I don’t like hanging out with women because all they is talk about soap operas and complain about menstrual cramps. Most men don’t behave like the cast of Animal House. ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/198 "2012-06-14T21:20:53Z")
It sounds like you (Mr. T-Cups) need to find a better class of male friends. Are you hanging out at a frat house or something? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/199 "2012-06-14T23:00:24Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > I don’t like hanging out with guys because I am not a very good guy. I don’t talk about sex. I hate burp and fart jokes, I’m not that much of a fan of dirty jokes even, and I don’t like talking about women that they’re things. Guys do this and I feel uncomfortable. So I like hanging out with girls because of that. While guys like that certainly exist, I’ve managed to spend decades hanging out with guys doing things that ARE NOT like that. I think the trick is to find guys to hang out that are doing THINGS other than just hanging out. Like hiking or scuba diving or stuff like that. And when you hang out with guys doing thing you often run across gals also doing those things. Its 2012 for Pete’s sake. Get on the net and find groups of people doing shit other than hanging out at bars. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062/200 "2012-06-14T23:21:45Z")
> [@Accidental\_Martyr](#): > > It sounds like you (Mr. T-Cups) need to find a better class of male friends. Are you hanging out at a frat house or something? No, but to your and everyone else’s defense…I am in college and therefore hang around college guys [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-southern-girls/624062.md?page=11)