# I pit stupid metaphors! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 12, 2007, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466 "2007-07-12T05:36:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/1 "2007-07-12T05:36:26Z")
I think I actually became stupider when I read this: > [@AP article](#): > > Prospects for a less-sweeping, bipartisan challenge to President Bush suffered a setback when Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., said the leading proposal has “less teeth than a toothless tiger.” I know that very few people have the gift of extemporaneous speaking, but GOD! I hope to hell that Reid realized how dumb it sounded as soon as it left his mouth, and was thinking about it the rest of the day. _“‘Less teeth than a toothless tiger’? What the fuck was I thinking? Good going, Harry.”_ This is the kind of metaphor that burns skin like… that’s like a rabbit that… has fewer brain cells than… I can’t even DELIBERATELY think of a metaphor that dumb! And I’m trying! ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/2 "2007-07-12T05:38:15Z")
Metaphors? Aren’t these similes? ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/3 "2007-07-12T05:38:59Z")
This is the kind of dumb metaphor that gives dumb metaphors a really bad name. :eek: This proposal has less teeth than the Tooth Fairy. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/4 "2007-07-12T05:51:38Z")
**Kimstu** No. A simile has this type of construction: “as quiet as a mouse”. And if nothing else, shouldn’t Senator Reid have said that the proposal has “_fewer_ teeth , etc”? ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/5 "2007-07-12T05:55:47Z")
The practice mentioned in this thread is as annoying as a really annoying thread, like the thread that stitches the dickhole shut on a crappy pair of shorts. That metaphor is like a simile ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/6 "2007-07-12T05:57:16Z")
A simile is a metaphor introduced by either the word “like” or the word “as.” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/7 "2007-07-12T07:22:04Z")
This thread has become the pimpled television of my November evening. ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/8 "2007-07-12T07:42:39Z")
Would you perhaps be satisfied with “_fewer_ teeth than a toothless tiger”? That is to say, exactly what wolf meister proposed several posts back? The shame burns with the fire of a thousand toothless tigers. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/9 "2007-07-12T08:02:24Z")
[QUOTE=wolf\_meister] **Kimstu** No. A simile has this type of construction: “as quiet as a mouse”. And if nothing else, shouldn’t Senator Reid have said that the proposal has “_fewer_ teeth , etc”? [/QUOTE] You mean like the supermarket isle that says, “Ten items or less.” Well, it doesn’t really bother me much; then I saw sign that said: “No more than 10 items.” That seems like a good way to say it. But is this really about stupid metaphors? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/10 "2007-07-12T08:10:08Z")
A bad metaphor is like fitting wheels to a tomato. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/11 "2007-07-12T08:14:50Z")
[QUOTE=Leaper] _“‘Less teeth than a toothless tiger’? What the fuck was I thinking? Good going, Harry.”_ This is the kind of metaphor that burns skin like… that’s like a rabbit that… has fewer brain cells than… I can’t even DELIBERATELY think of a metaphor that dumb! And I’m trying! [/QUOTE] Number 1. His error had nothing to do with metaphor. 2. It was about count vs. non-count nouns. 3. Before you pit, learn your grammar. 4. If the brain cells of rabbits concern you so much, then get out of rhetoric and go into zoology. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/12 "2007-07-12T08:23:58Z")
[QUOTE=Leaper] hope to hell that Reid realized how dumb it sounded as soon as it left his mouth… [/QUOTE] I’d like to have a tape recorder on YOUR mouth 24-hours a day… ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/13 "2007-07-12T09:06:02Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] A bad metaphor is like fitting wheels to a tomato. [/QUOTE] Anything about eating makes sense to you,\*\* Mange\*\*. And the tomatoes in my back yard are glorious. It’s gazpacho every day. But a bad metaphor is not about grammar: it’s about bad collocations: ``` " Gophers are the ruin of the steel industry." ``` ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/14 "2007-07-12T10:34:36Z")
“The proposal has less teeth than a toothless tiger” is indeed a metaphor; while literally true, it glosses over the fact that proposals do not literally have teeth in any case, and instead speaks of proposals as though they ought to have teeth. “This metaphor is as lame as a very lame thing on crutches with a stone in its shoe”, on the other hand, is a simile. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/15 "2007-07-12T10:38:52Z")
What’s a metaphor? Grazing cows. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/16 "2007-07-12T10:46:07Z")
[QUOTE=Khadaji] What’s a metaphor? Grazing cows. [/QUOTE] You know, that _really_ doesn’t work in English pronunciation. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/17 "2007-07-12T10:51:41Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] You know, that _really_ doesn’t work in English pronunciation. 😃 [/QUOTE] Hmm. How about- What’s a metaphor? Conducting symphonies! I know, it doesn’t work either, but it’s got more class than a very classy cow wearing high heels. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/18 "2007-07-12T11:18:21Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] “The proposal has less teeth than a toothless tiger” is indeed a metaphor; while literally true, it glosses over the fact that proposals do not literally have teeth in any case, and instead speaks of proposals as though they ought to have teeth. “This metaphor is as lame as a very lame thing on crutches with a stone in its shoe”, on the other hand, is a simile. [/QUOTE] It also glosses over the tautology. Less teeth than a toothless goldfish would be equally accurate. If he had said the proposal was “a toothless tiger” that would be a perfectly good metaphor, but as it is it’s just as awkward as a fart in church. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/19 "2007-07-12T12:09:18Z")
I didn’t say it was a good metaphor, I just said it was a metaphor. Don’t you have a metaphor to mow unreasonably quickly, or something? ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466/20 "2007-07-12T12:25:04Z")
Stupid metaphors are like boxes of chocolate . . . [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-stupid-metaphors/411466.md?page=2)