# I pit: Tall Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 19, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620 "2005-05-19T19:04:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/41 "2005-05-20T08:12:30Z")
> [@Leviosaurus](#): > > I keep racking my brains trying to think of a really funny or clever or tall joke I’ve heard, but they fact is, I’ve never heard one. They’re all stupid. They consist of 1. Statements on the order of “Wow, you’re tall!” (Why are you telling me this? How could I possibly be unaware of that fact?) 2. The ever popular “How’s the weather up there?” (Why in the world would this ever be considered amusing? Has \*anyone ever \* heard this question and laughed in response?) > > I hereby challenge the teeming millions to produce an amusing greeting appropriate for introduction to a person of exceptional height. This must be an original idea, must be found amusing by a)most of the people on this thread and b) me. (I’m the one making up the rules, why should I bother being egalitarian?) “Amusing” is defined as being “Laugh out loud funny”. > > The winner gets a kiss from \*\*Mockingbird \*\* (assuming \*\*Mockingbird \*\* agrees, of course,) as well as eternal internet fame for supplanting the overused and weatherbeaten “How’s the weather up there?” question. Any takers? The offer is only open to men, and if I have to train them how to kiss, I charge extra. ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/42 "2005-05-20T09:03:22Z")
Considering the topic at hand, you might enjoy this: [It’s the third entry down (the one for May 7th).](http://www.nba.com/suns/news/shirley_playoff_blog.html) It’s a link to an online jounal by Paul Shirley, who fills the role of 12th man on the Phoenix Suns’ bench (go Suns!). He has some less than complimentary things to say about those who feel the need to comment on his height. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/43 "2005-05-20T10:54:20Z")
> [@Leviosaurus](#): > > I hereby challenge the teeming millions to produce an amusing greeting appropriate for introduction to a person of exceptional height. Best I can do is: “Good gods you’re a giant, please don’t eat me!” I know, I got nothin’ ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/44 "2005-05-20T14:32:22Z")
> [@Linus Van Pelt](#): > > Considering the topic at hand, you might enjoy this: > > [It’s the third entry down (the one for May 7th).](http://www.nba.com/suns/news/shirley_playoff_blog.html) > > It’s a link to an online jounal by Paul Shirley, who fills the role of 12th man on the Phoenix Suns’ bench (go Suns!). He has some less than complimentary things to say about those who feel the need to comment on his height. That is hilarious- great link! ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/45 "2005-05-20T14:53:22Z")
I have always been attracted to tall men, and I sometimes will stare without meaning to be rude. If the guy happens to notice me, of course I feel like an idiot for getting caught staring, and start blushing - which clashes with my red hair. So I’m standing there, bright red, embarassed as hell in front of a guy I would like to have met. What am I supposed to say? ---
**Author:** ![arseNal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@arseNal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arseNal)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/46 "2005-05-20T15:04:05Z")
> [@Paul Shirley](#): > > I really enjoy when people say things like, “Did you know that you are really tall?” Holy [feces]! Are you serious? I’m tall! I can’t believe it. This must have happened overnight. Thanks for pointing it out, though… Again, asking this question is not a way to convey intelligence. I don’t think I have pulled them out yet, but someday soon, I will respond… with questions regarding the physical appearance of my foil, choosing from “Did you know that you are morbidly obese?” and “Has anyone ever told you how unbelievably ugly you are?” It’s going to happen. After all, much like height, they are only observations regarding a person’s appearance. Ok, I can see how people commenting on your height can get old, but does it really make you tall guys so angry that you would like to respond with an insult? ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/47 "2005-05-20T15:08:47Z")
SpouseO’s 6’6" and he too hates the tall jokes/comments. After one such encounter, he turned to me and asked exasperatedly, “Can’t people think of any other way to start a conversation?” Bugs him all to hell and back. He also finds it disconcerting when he runs into someone taller than himself. Good thing it doesn’t happen all that often. And he always notices tall women - I’m hoping he’s not thinking it might be a nice change (I’m 5’6"). I always thought you tall people should have some sort of secret nod, a “S’up” sort of thing, when you run into each other. Just a quiet acknowledgement of some sort. Who knows? Maybe you do. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/48 "2005-05-20T15:32:01Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > The offer is only open to men, and if I have to train them how to kiss, I charge extra. My life is complete enough without having to learn how to kiss a seven-foot ginger, thankyouverymuch. 😃 I admit to “height envy”. I topped out at 5’ 11" and was mostly there within a coupla months of turning 13. OTOH I sit mighty tall for my height, a friend who’s maybe an inch shorter was sat next to me at the theatre and he noticed I _towered_ over him. Yes, **Mal** is an odd shape. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/49 "2005-05-20T15:40:04Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > I have always been attracted to tall men, and I sometimes will stare without meaning to be rude. If the guy happens to notice me, of course I feel like an idiot for getting caught staring, and start blushing - which clashes with my red hair. So I’m standing there, bright red, embarassed as hell in front of a guy I would like to have met. What am I supposed to say? “Hello.” p.s. I think I’m now in love with Paul Shirley. Too bad he’s too tall for me. p.p.s. **Leviosaurus** –your story made me literally laugh out loud. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![LionelHutz405](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lionelhutz405/32/536_2.png) [@LionelHutz405](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LionelHutz405)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/50 "2005-05-20T15:47:55Z")
> [@Snickers](#): > > I always thought you tall people should have some sort of secret nod, a “S’up” sort of thing, when you run into each other. Just a quiet acknowledgement of some sort. Who knows? Maybe you do. We do. I could tell you what it is, but it would just go over your head. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/51 "2005-05-20T16:23:14Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > OTOH I sit mighty tall for my height, a friend who’s maybe an inch shorter was sat next to me at the theatre and he noticed I _towered_ over him. Yes, **Mal** is an odd shape. You might just sit well. I got posture therapy for a bad back, and now I sit taller than many people who are taller than me standing up. (when I remember to use good posture). ---
**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/52 "2005-05-20T16:29:15Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > I have always been attracted to tall men, and I sometimes will stare without meaning to be rude. If the guy happens to notice me, of course I feel like an idiot for getting caught staring, and start blushing - which clashes with my red hair. So I’m standing there, bright red, embarassed as hell in front of a guy I would like to have met. What am I supposed to say? Wait a minute… a redhead? Attracted to tall men? From Georgia, with that southern accent? Trust me, hon, you don’t have to say a word. If I wasn’t already in a LTR, I’d be on a bus South right now. > [@Green Bean](#): > > p.p.s. Leviosaurus–your story made me literally laugh out loud. Thanks. You’re welcome! Glad you liked it! **Linus Van Pelt** , Thanks for the link, it’s great! ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/53 "2005-05-20T17:25:46Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a professional athlete write so well. Most impressive. Almost sad now that I’ve never had any tall jokes lobed at me. 5’10" usually makes me the tallest girl in the room. Maybe my ears have been to far away to notice. And how dare any other girl be taller than me! Stop it! ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/54 "2005-05-20T23:12:30Z")
> [@Pullet](#): > > And how dare any other girl be taller than me! Stop it! Sorry about that. Blame my parents. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2005, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/55 "2005-05-20T23:21:25Z")
I get all fluttery around really tall guys (I’m 5’7") …I find myself all twitterpated. This has got to stop, since I am almost 43 and married 18 years. There is just something about a tall man. You tall folk–you get some hearts beating fast…\. (psst, don’t tell my husband-he’s 5’9" [really 8, but he says 9]). ---
**Author:** ![Curate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Curate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curate)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/56 "2005-05-21T15:45:37Z")
When I’m asked how tall I am I usually answer, “Five feet, seventeen inches.” It’s true, it places the burden of the conversation back on the asker, and it signals that yes, I have had to answer this question a few times in the past. Curate ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/57 "2005-05-21T16:16:17Z")
Do you ever get an opening line like this? “With you, I wouldn’t have to kneel.” ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/58 "2005-05-21T17:25:46Z")
> [@Leviosaurus](#): > > I keep racking my brains trying to think of a really funny or clever or tall joke I’ve heard, but they fact is, I’ve never heard one. They’re all stupid. They consist of 1. Statements on the order of “Wow, you’re tall!” (Why are you telling me this? How could I possibly be unaware of that fact?) 2. The ever popular “How’s the weather up there?” (Why in the world would this ever be considered amusing? Has \*anyone ever \* heard this question and laughed in response?) > > I hereby challenge the teeming millions to produce an amusing greeting appropriate for introduction to a person of exceptional height. This must be an original idea, must be found amusing by a)most of the people on this thread and b) me. (I’m the one making up the rules, why should I bother being egalitarian?) “Amusing” is defined as being “Laugh out loud funny”. > > The winner gets a kiss from \*\*Mockingbird \*\* (assuming \*\*Mockingbird \*\* agrees, of course,) as well as eternal internet fame for supplanting the overused and weatherbeaten “How’s the weather up there?” question. Any takers? Answer 1. Gee not veryone notices, what gave you the first clue? If they ask your height, answer like a guy I knew who was 6’ 10" His response was “I’m five3 foot twenty” 2. Sorry I got nothin ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/59 "2005-05-21T17:29:27Z")
:smack: “Five foot twenty” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/60 "2005-05-21T17:29:59Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Answer > > 1. Gee not veryone notices, what gave you the first clue? If they ask your height, answer like a guy I knew who was 6’ 10" His response was “I’m five3 foot twenty” Tall _and_ bad at math! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620.md?page=4)