# I pit: Tall Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 19, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620 "2005-05-19T19:04:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/61 "2005-05-21T18:54:02Z")
> [@Leviosaurus](#): > > I keep racking my brains trying to think of a really funny or clever or tall joke I’ve heard, but they fact is, I’ve never heard one. They’re all stupid. They consist of 1. Statements on the order of “Wow, you’re tall!” (Why are you telling me this? How could I possibly be unaware of that fact?) 2. The ever popular “How’s the weather up there?” (Why in the world would this ever be considered amusing? Has \*anyone ever \* heard this question and laughed in response?) > > I hereby challenge the teeming millions to produce an amusing greeting appropriate for introduction to a person of exceptional height. This must be an original idea, must be found amusing by a)most of the people on this thread and b) me. (I’m the one making up the rules, why should I bother being egalitarian?) “Amusing” is defined as being “Laugh out loud funny”. > > The winner gets a kiss from \*\*Mockingbird \*\* (assuming \*\*Mockingbird \*\* agrees, of course,) as well as eternal internet fame for supplanting the overused and weatherbeaten “How’s the weather up there?” question. Any takers? At 5’6" I’m now wracking my brains for a clever introduction just for the opportunity to kiss a woman who’s 6’4" ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/62 "2005-05-21T19:35:21Z")
> [@Snickers](#): > > I always thought you tall people should have some sort of secret nod, a “S’up” sort of thing, when you run into each other. Just a quiet acknowledgement of some sort. Who knows? Maybe you do. I had a snappy response all ready for this but **LionelHutz405** ’s is much better. A quick “tall tale”: I’m a 6’4" male. Years ago, I was grumbling as I folded myself into an airplane seat. The person sitting next to me, who I hadn’t noticed, said, “I know what you mean.” She was a six-footer, and the vast majority of her height was in her legs, which were folded in a way that looked quite uncomfortable. She ended up inviting me to a “tall club” meeting. I went, just for kicks. To get in, men had to be at least 6’4" and women had to be at least 5’10". This made me the shortest guy out of probably 30 in the room. It was a very, very strange feeling. Not one person that evening asked anyone else’s height (at least not in my earshot), but there were a lot of questions about where people bought clothes, what kind of cars they drove, and so on. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/63 "2005-05-21T21:13:07Z")
> [@Leviosaurus](#): > > rural Northern Michigan… Redundancy. See, up dere da Yoopers are usedta da Finns 'n da French, ya know? En dey ain’t da tallest buncha folks, nope. ---
**Author:** ![audreyayn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@audreyayn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audreyayn)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/64 "2005-05-21T21:21:00Z")
I’m obviously a dork, because I’m just waiting for Wilt to post about how Blooregard thinks this is funny too. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/65 "2005-05-21T22:07:23Z")
> [@Kevbo](#): > > Mostly it doesn’t bother me at all, but occassionally I like to get in a dig: > > “How’s the weather up there?” > “Mostly sunny with a good chance of silly assed questions.”" [LOUDSPEAKER] Attention. Attention. Computer monitor clean-up in cubicle 9, row D. Seltzer water mixed with nasal juices has hit the screen once again. That’s cubicle 9, row D. As you were. [/LOUDSPEAKER] ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/66 "2005-05-21T22:38:58Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > I have always been attracted to tall men, and I sometimes will stare without meaning to be rude. If the guy happens to notice me, of course I feel like an idiot for getting caught staring, and start blushing - which clashes with my red hair. So I’m standing there, bright red, embarassed as hell in front of a guy I would like to have met. What am I supposed to say? “Can I climb you?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/67 "2005-05-21T22:42:19Z")
> [@Linus Van Pelt](#): > > Considering the topic at hand, you might enjoy this: > > [It’s the third entry down (the one for May 7th).](http://www.nba.com/suns/news/shirley_playoff_blog.html) > > It’s a link to an online jounal by Paul Shirley, who fills the role of 12th man on the Phoenix Suns’ bench (go Suns!). He has some less than complimentary things to say about those who feel the need to comment on his height. Sorry for two posts in a row, but I had to say. What, the guy didn’t get jokes about being a guy named Shirley? Anyway, this guy obviously has what it takes to be a success as a comic writer, post-basketball. He’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/68 "2005-05-22T00:51:32Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > At 5’6" I’m now wracking my brains for a clever introduction just for the opportunity to kiss a woman who’s 6’4" Good luck with that. I’m a guy. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/69 "2005-05-22T01:19:30Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Tall _and_ bad at math! 😃 ::: sigh::: Yes he was 6’8" and I only got four hours sleep last night. ::: Hangs head in shame::: ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/70 "2005-05-22T01:24:06Z")
I think it’s really funny that all the tall people bitching about the comments also admit that they’re “awed” and “intimidated” when they meet or see someone who towers over THEM. And I also don’t know why they think they have a monopoly on receiving stupid comments and questions. My last name is Sees. When I hear “Lorinada Sees? Sees what?” for the umpteenth million time I just smile and change the subject. Insulting this guy is not going to suddenly cause the entire population’s IQ to rise 20 points. I’m short. When I’m called munchkin for the umpteenth time I just smile and change the subject. Insulting this gal is not going to suddenly cause the entire population’s IQ to rise 20 points. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/71 "2005-05-22T01:34:20Z")
> [@5-4-Fighting](#): > > “Can I climb you?” > > 😃 And then can I claim you for Spain? ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/72 "2005-05-22T02:53:58Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > Good luck with that. I’m a guy. _pounds my head on my keyboard a few times for not reading the thread carefully enough_ ---
**Author:** ![matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/73 "2005-05-22T08:30:55Z")
Since none of you tall folks have bothered, this shortarse is going to have to do the obligatory thing: [http://www.ibras.dk/montypython/episode21.htm#2](http://www.ibras.dk/montypython/episode21.htm#2) ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/74 "2005-05-22T16:17:41Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > And then can I claim you for Spain? That one caused me to scare all of the cats out of the office. Now I have to clean up the ashtray I spilled. Be back later. ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/75 "2005-05-22T18:17:44Z")
6’5", mostly in the legs (short torso), slim, 38" sleeve, size 15 AA shoe. Unless you’re a tailor, find another way to start a conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/76 "2005-05-22T23:18:25Z")
Well it’s not a retort, but I have been inspired to think of a naughty chat-up line to use on tall men… You’re quite the flagpole - can I hang from you and wave? Would that work on anyone, or am I terribly lame? The one time I really tried to pick up a verrry tall man, I told him he was so cute I’d like to fold him up and put him in my pocket and take him home. (That was the Cape Cods talking.) He just rolled his eyes and went back to talking to his buddies. FTR, I’m not tall. At 5’ 6.5" I’m slightly above average height, but w/ my long skinny arms I get mistaken for taller. And thinner, too. It’s a cruel joke nature has played on me! ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/77 "2005-05-23T15:00:27Z")
Back when I was single, that line would cause me to roll my eyes and walk away without saying anything. The best opening line has always been “hello.” ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/78 "2005-05-24T00:02:49Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#): > > Back when I was single, that line would cause me to roll my eyes and walk away without saying anything. > > The best opening line has always been “hello.” Damn, not only tall, but he gets to be choosey as well 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/79 "2005-05-24T01:58:17Z")
Yeah, it’s great that taller guys can make a woman feel **that** much smaller. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620/80 "2005-05-24T02:02:45Z")
I thought 5’6" was supposed to be average, yet I’m almost always the shortest guy in the room. I feel like a child sometimes. WAHHH [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-tall-jokes/304620.md?page=5)