# I pit that it's okay to say someone has a small penis for driving (car you don't like/wish you had) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 15, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945 "2012-02-15T17:51:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/21 "2012-02-15T20:42:52Z")
> [@rogerbox](#): > > And that is just briefly looking on my lunchbreak. It’s common here, no one ever calls anyone out on how pathetic a thing it is to do, and if you had any integrity you’d take back what you said. If you had a larger penis, you’d quit worrying so much about it. Personally, I get lots of emails promising men help with this issue; perhaps you could look into it? ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/22 "2012-02-15T20:44:54Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > If you had a larger penis, you’d quit worrying so much about it. Personally, I get lots of emails promising men help with this issue; perhaps you could look into it? Are you aware of how saying such things makes you look? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/23 "2012-02-15T20:50:54Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > I only start to think this when they act like an asshole while driving that car. Someone peeling out or changing lanes with two inches of clearance in a futile attempt to impress the other drivers around them? Yeah, he’s compensating for something. This, pretty much. Guy in a nice car driving normally? Don’t notice, or notice the nice car and think ‘Ummm, nice!’ Guy in a nice car, or a wanna-be nice car, or an oversized whatever, or a pick-up truck with balls hanging off the back driving like a total prick? Douche-bag compensating for _SOMETHING_. May not necessarily be a small penis, but dude clearly has some sort of issues. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/24 "2012-02-15T20:51:32Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > If you had a larger penis, you’d quit worrying so much about it. Personally, I get lots of emails promising men help with this issue; perhaps you could look into it? > [@rogerbox](#): > > Are you aware of how saying such things makes you look? Like she has a sense of humor? Signed, Mustang Driver with a Huge Johnson. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/25 "2012-02-15T20:54:36Z")
> [@rogerbox](#): > > Are you aware of how saying such things makes you look? Like she wants me. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/26 "2012-02-15T20:54:58Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > If you had a larger penis, you’d quit worrying so much about it. Personally, I get lots of emails promising men help with this issue; perhaps you could look into it? If you weren’t such a bitchy slot of a whore you’d quit worrying about the OP so much. Sadly no one has invented a “Stop being such a bitchy bitch” pill yet so we still have to put up with your stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/27 "2012-02-15T20:55:34Z")
I drive a tiny car to compensate for my gigantic penis. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/28 "2012-02-15T21:05:57Z")
> [@rogerbox](#): > > because all my life I have loved sports cars and fantasized about owning one. So that would mean … At the point you first desired a sports car … you _did_ have a small penis … Right? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/29 "2012-02-15T21:15:56Z")
There is one class of drivers I will ridicule as possessing small penises: drivers of cars and motorcycles that, by design or deliberate modification, make far more noise than 99.9% of cars on the road. You know, the ones that are so loud, you can’t help but notice them when you’re sitting outdoors in your yard, a quarter-mile from the highway. If the OP has a problem with that, I figure the problem is with the OP. > [@Blackberry](#): > > I was going to disagree when several people here recently said it about Hummers, because I have an ex who has one and it’s not true of him. But he \*is \*short in height, so he’s still not exactly shattering any stereotypes. And I do think Hummers are ridiculous. I figure if anyone chooses to drive something that looks like a toolshed on wheels, the joke’s already on them, and nothing I could say can add or detract significantly from that. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/30 "2012-02-15T21:20:30Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I drive a tiny car to compensate for my gigantic penis. Where do you put it? ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/31 "2012-02-15T21:20:31Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Like she has a sense of humor? > > Signed, > > Mustang Driver with a Huge Johnson. That might be considered funny for SDMB posters in their twilight years such as yourself, but “no, you!” is not considered funny by people who still retain control of their full faculties. > [@Acsenray](#): > > So that would mean … At the point you first desired a sports car … you _did_ have a small penis … > > Right? This, however is funny. ZING! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/32 "2012-02-15T21:30:18Z")
> [@rogerbox](#): > > What I am talking about is someone insulting someone else either verbally or in their head “Sorry about your small penis!” or some variant, because the person _ **who is a jerk** _ gets into a hummer, escalade, or sports car etc. Emphasis added. This is where your rant falls apart. (And given that it was only the second sentence, that’s gonna hurt your score.) No, there’s nothing particularly unfair, wrong or “pathetic” about “Ford Compensator”-style small-penis insults directed at a guy **specifically for being a jerk**. I agree that it would be the height of mean-spirited gratuitous nastiness to make disparaging inferences about the genitalia of a guy who’s not doing anything wrong, simply because he happens to have an interesting car. But if he’s being enough of an asshole to provoke direct insult, then I don’t think that compensation taunts about his vehicle are at all out of line. Nor is it unfair to jeer at his clothing choices, his hairstyle, his taste in music, or anything else about the way he’s choosing to present himself and his asshole behavior in public. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/33 "2012-02-15T21:32:56Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > There is one class of drivers I will ridicule as possessing small penises: drivers of cars and motorcycles that, by design or deliberate modification, make far more noise than 99.9% of cars on the road. You know, the ones that are so loud, you can’t help but notice them when you’re sitting outdoors in your yard, a quarter-mile from the highway.\ No, those are the people whose mommies didn’t love them enough. > [@tdn](#): > > Where do you put it? In the garage? ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/34 "2012-02-15T21:34:28Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Emphasis added. This is where your rant falls apart. (And given that it was only the second sentence, that’s gonna hurt your score.) Can I direct you to [my post above](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14777795&postcount=20)with examples from our very own SDMB where the person is being accused of having a small penis only because the posters don’t like their vehicle, and there is no reference to any jerkish behavior other than what they drive? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/35 "2012-02-15T21:34:41Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > In the garage? That must be one hell of a penis. Is it turbo charged? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/36 "2012-02-15T21:35:04Z")
It seems more a matter of advertising one’s money than one’s attributes. And I’m sure it works, such men attract precisely the sort of women they deserve. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/37 "2012-02-15T21:39:23Z")
I really couldn’t fairly comment on my speculation about your penis size until I was able to observe how well or badly you drive that Supra. Which is not known, IMO as a penis-substitute car. Not all fast or racy cars are necessarily penis substitutes. Take the Porsche, for example. I see a dude driving a 914 with a big fat whale tail down the road, I want to know three things: 1) Can he actually drive it? 2) What color is it? 3) Is it a stick? I once hooked up with a middle-aged Porsche driver. I was all set to hook up and then I got into the car with him. 1) No. He couldn’t drive it very well. Later that weekend at the beach, he stupidly parked it where it got stuck in sand and he had to get towed out. 2) It was champagne colored. Seriously. What a douche choice of Porsche color. 3) It was an automatic. Double-douche. You don’t deserve a car like that unless you can drive the shit out of the stick version. Otherwise, it’s not really a Porsche; it’s just a chick-magnet prop that attracts chicks who don’t know all that much about cars. Also, this guy’s Porsche was a 911, no whale tail. Trifecta douchebaggery! Ugh! So, yes. He had a very small penis. After the hookup, I realized why he drove the douchy Porsche. He wasn’t particularly fun, funny, or smart. He wasn’t very charming or articulate. He was pretty shallow (I know, pot, kettle, whatever ;)) and was pretty lousy in the sack. He wasn’t even really all that good looking. Essentially, the poor guy didn’t really have all that much to offer women aside from a ride in the fancy expensive car, which he drove poorly, like a high school kid who just got his license; he didn’t drive like a gearhead who _knows_ cars. So… what color is your Supra? 😉 On a more serious note, I grew up around the racetrack – my dad raced motorcycles when I was a kid. I was raised by gearheads and bikers – all the men in my family were into both cars and bikes. I knew how to change the oil on my dad’s Suzuki before I had my own driver’s license. The man taught me how to drive. There’s a saying on the racetrack when the _real_ motorheads spot someone who is driving their very expensive vehicle poorly: “More money than brains.” They are referring to the douche who spends $30,000 on a brand new bike + Kevlar riding gear and then just sits on it in the driveway, revving the engine over and over. That is not a person who bought the vehicle for the love of driving or for the love of tinkering with a vehicle: that’s a dude who’s trying to get pussy the only way he knows how, by flashing his expensive toys that he doesn’t even know how to use very well. I automatically lose all respect for such people and have been known to catcall my condolences regarding their tiny penii. In principle, I’m with you that it’s not really okay to stereotype people based on what they drive. In reality, however, my experience tells me there’s a bit of truth in some of these stereotypes. You sound like the genuine gearhead type. You didn’t choose a particularly overpriced flashy car; you chose a quick, light, maneuverable, racy car. Supra’s a good choice for a gearhead. There’s no reason for you to fear being lumped into the stereotype unless you know something about what’s in your pants that I don’t. Me thinketh thou dost protesteth too much. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/38 "2012-02-15T21:45:47Z")
“Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding” ― Betty White The OP has got to be one tough son of a bitch if he’s got as much sand in his vagina as he seems to. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/39 "2012-02-15T21:51:46Z")
Fucking on the beach seems like a good idea, until you try it. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945/40 "2012-02-15T21:54:12Z")
> [@rogerbox](#): > > Can I direct you to [my post above](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14777795&postcount=20)with examples from our very own SDMB where the person with a vehicle the posters don’t like aren’t doing anything jerkish other than having a vehicle they dissapprove of? Not very persuasively, you can’t. For instance, one of those quotes **specifically** describes the male car-owner in question as a “jackass”. Another is clearly disparaging the annoying over-the-top attention-gettingness of an excessively loud and over-pimped huge truck. As for the poll results, I read the poll thread and I noticed only one or two posters actually asserting that a particular type of car **alone** , totally irrespective of its appropriateness or anything else about the car owner’s behavior or characteristics, determined whether they might label it a “penis substitute”. So feel free to go ahead and pit those one or two posters, as far as I’m concerned. But I still maintain that if a guy is behaving like a jerk, then insult-wise it’s open season on the type of his wheels, the size of his package, and anything the insulter may want to imply about a correlation between the two. Of course, I don’t personally believe that it’s **true** that there’s any particular correlation between dick size and preferred vehicle style. But when it’s a question of insulting someone, factual accuracy is not the most important thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-that-its-okay-to-say-someone-has-a-small-penis-for-driving-car-you-dont-like-wish-you-had/612945.md?page=3)