# I pit the Bible and the Christian God **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 14, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314 "2013-12-14T17:49:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/1 "2013-12-14T17:49:17Z")
Why Christianity is bullshit: -It says it was good to follow Hitler. (Follow all the rulers and laws of the land) -It judges you as immoral for not helping the same needy person that their bullshit God passed by as well, with more means to do the exact same act you chose not to -It says it’s right to burn people for all eternity because they are homosexuals or because they told one lie, or stole one candy-bar. -It says that if you pick up sticks on a day when God wants you not to work, you need to be put to death. -The Bible says to not keep a record of wrongs of others because that is not acting in love. It also says that God is love. Well doesn’t God (love) not only keep a record of wrongs, but also burns people for them? -It would have been IMMORAL according to the Bible for Abraham to NOT try to kill his son just because he was told to. -Which is it, the earth can never be removed, or that it will pass away and a new earth will come? -The word of God stands forever? Oh, so you mean every word? So like, how you say that the people who are going to be thrown into hell will be forgotten (satan), we’ll read about him in your bestselling book? Or no, you just meant your commandments… so like all of the old testament laws were supposed to stand forever, but then Jesus came and changed them? -The God of the Bible is a quick to anger, vengeful, needy, jealous, hateful, self-righteous, critical, tyrannical, overbearing, and destructive God. -God CREATED you to sin, and then blames YOU when you do. -The God of the Bible should learn what it is to invade someone’s privacy ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/2 "2013-12-14T18:04:47Z")
**The Three Stooges** , however, ROCK! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/3 "2013-12-14T18:06:29Z")
You know who else sucked? Skeletor. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/4 "2013-12-14T19:00:28Z")
I wrote this thread in anger so I want to come back to this thread to say that things are not always what they appear in matters of religion. For example, the Bible might seem to say that there was a prophet who “hated” someone, but if you look at the contex it was more akin to “preferred less.” So while what I wrote may seem black and white, it isn’t necessarily the full picture. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/5 "2013-12-14T19:11:19Z")
Your ideas intrigue me, and I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/6 "2013-12-14T19:15:21Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > You know who else sucked? Skeletor. History is written by the victors… ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/7 "2013-12-14T19:19:50Z")
Many of those petty, tyrannical evils of the Bible are from the Old Testament though, the New one is… still fucked up, but markedly less so. And some of it is just Paul being a dillhole. Pterry Pratchett once said the New Testament is what happened when God got religion, but I think it’s much more straightforward than that : the New Testament is what happened once God got laid. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/8 "2013-12-14T19:22:48Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > ``` > I wrote this thread in anger so I want to come back to this thread to say that things are not always what they appear in matters of religion. For example, the Bible might seem to say that there was a prophet who "hated" someone, but if you look at the contex it was more akin to "preferred less." So while what I wrote may seem black and white, it isn't necessarily the full picture. > > ``` Not to worry. God forgives you. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/9 "2013-12-14T19:24:49Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > You know who else sucked? Skeletor. With what? ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/10 "2013-12-14T19:39:29Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > You know who else sucked? Skeletor. > [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > History is written by the victors… Or by the office manager. 🙂 > **[I have the Power(Point) of Grayskull](https://www.free-power-point-templates.com/articles/i-have-the-powerpoint-of-grayskull/)** > > This funny image illustrates the distribution of the Power of Grayskull in a PowerPoint template I have the PowerPoint of Grayskull! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/11 "2013-12-14T19:50:06Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > **The Three Stooges** , however, ROCK! Oh yeah? What about Joe Besser and Curly Joe? ---
**Author:** ![SeldomSeen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@SeldomSeen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeldomSeen)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/12 "2013-12-14T20:08:10Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > History is written by the victors… > [@](#): > > Originally posted by **GIGObuster** > Or by the office manager. > [http://www.free-power-point-template](http://www.free-power-point-template)…-of-grayskull/ [Or by the Vicars…](http://www.vision.org/visionmedia/church-history/first-christians/47371.aspx) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/13 "2013-12-14T20:24:56Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Oh yeah? What about Joe Besser and Curly Joe? Who? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/14 "2013-12-14T20:33:41Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > … > -The God of the Bible should learn what it is to invade someone’s privacy Oh, so _that’s_ what this is all about. You just want to [masturbate in privacy](http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/ceiling.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/15 "2013-12-14T21:14:13Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Oh yeah? What about Joe Besser and Curly Joe? Heretic! Heretic! _Burn him!_ ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/16 "2013-12-14T22:03:25Z")
If “family values” really matter, this Jesus freak has the shittiest father anyone can imagine. Hell, the big guy never even bothered to teach his own kid to read! The bible should be read in whole by everyone to understand exactly how to NOT act and exactly how to NOT behave. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/17 "2013-12-14T22:43:19Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Heretic! Heretic! _Burn him!_ I’ll give you such a pinch. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/18 "2013-12-15T00:55:54Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > You know who else sucked? Skeletor. He certainly sucked in his cheeks. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/19 "2013-12-15T00:58:59Z")
I like the Christan god because he’s needy, he requires things. It makes him/her/it/god really relateable. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314/20 "2013-12-15T01:07:39Z")
It’s about time someone on this board full of radical Christian witnesses had the courage to come out and decry religion. How brave and original of you (but you may want to check with Trihs - you’re stealing his shtick). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bible-and-the-christian-god/676314.md?page=2)