# I pit the bride from hell
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 29, 2005, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270 "2005-01-29T11:03:49Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/1 "2005-01-29T11:03:49Z")
I sang at a wedding this afternoon. In my time, I’ve had to deal with quite a few unpleasant brides, but this afternoon’s broke all previous records.
First, she was almost an hour late getting to the church. It’s always irritating when brides are late, and, I think, very rude to the clergy, guests, musicians etc. For some stupid reason they seem to think it’s “traditional”. But at least most of them limit their tardiness to about 15 minutes or so.
So while we waited for her to arrive (and she was staying at a hotel about 500 metres away from the church, so the “traffic” excuse proffered was obviously a lie), we sweltered in the choir gallery singing practically every piece in our repertoire to keep the congregation quiet.
The nuptial mass itself went OK. Then, after it was finished and we were leaving the church she came up to us and accused us of not singing the pieces she had asked for. We had of course, but she just hadn’t noticed them. In fact, we sang one of them twice during the signing of the register because they took such a long time. And for good measure, she took a swipe at the organist about “all the mistakes she made while she was playing”. Needless, to say there weren’t any mistakes. Thank goodness I’d already got the money from the best man before the mass. Otherwise I bet she’d have refused to pay us.
What a bitch! We were all glad to see the back of her. I pity that poor groom.
---
### Author:  [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/2 "2005-01-29T11:09:30Z")
There’s never a roving pack of ravenous drunken monkeys when you need 'em, is there?
---
### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/3 "2005-01-29T11:16:57Z")
And, all too often, there is when you don’t, which I believe neatly summarizes the OP’s complaint.
---
### Author:  [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/4 "2005-01-29T11:38:28Z")
I agree, the bride, certainly was acting like a demon, I mean shouldn’t she be, you know, happy on her wedding day?
---
### Author:  [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/5 "2005-01-29T11:54:33Z")
So **Cunctator** , who names himself after [Fabius Maximus, the delayer](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cunctator), whines that the bride was delayed.
What goes around comes around, I guess.
---
### Author:  [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/6 "2005-01-29T14:31:48Z")
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just think about what the husband is about to endure and think “There but for the grace of God go I”.
---
### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/7 "2005-01-29T14:47:05Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#):
>
> And, all too often, there is when you don’t, which I believe neatly summarizes the OP’s complaint.
Too true!
You need to include this in your list of reasons why people should favor gay marriages: No Bridezillas! 🙂
---
### Author:  [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/8 "2005-01-29T14:54:41Z")
Heh. On our weading day the DJ couldn’t find the song we wanted for our first dance. Guess he didn’t check first. And it was a Beatles song, not exactly rare.
So we danced to a different song. Whatever.
Like someone said, this is supposed to be a happy day. I pity that groom.
---
### Author:  [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/9 "2005-01-29T15:09:49Z")
> [@Polycarp](#):
>
> Too true!
>
> You need to include this in your list of reasons why people should favor gay marriages: No Bridezillas! 🙂
You are kidding, aren’t you? Bridezilla knows no gender or sexual orientation. Bridezilla is an all-consuming force of nature. Same sex marriage creates the ugly possibility of TWIN BRIDEZILLAS! Arrrrrrhh!
Tenar (Who married her late beloved wife some 11 years ago, sans Bridezillas.)
---
### Author:  [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/10 "2005-01-29T16:23:08Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just think about what the husband is about to endure and think “There but for the grace of God go I”.
My thoughts exactly. Reading the OP is a great cure for the “I ain’t got no-one” blues. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@Marsie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marsie)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/11 "2005-01-29T18:48:35Z")
Sweet Baby Jesus…deliver us from brides! I was catering manager for several large hotels and what ultimately drove me from the food & beverage end of the business was the brides and their mothers… It was like trying to work with wildcats! Nnnooootttthhhhhiiiiinnnnngggg was ever right…
The problem is the bridal magazines and shows about celebrity weddings. Nothing in reality could ever come close to the weddings they portray. Fantasy and reality get all mixed up in the brides’ and mothers’ minds.
I will scrape gum off the sidewalks in front of a hotel before I will ever deal with weddings again…
---
### Author:  [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/12 "2005-01-29T18:52:03Z")
> [@Tenar](#):
>
> You are kidding, aren’t you? Bridezilla knows no gender or sexual orientation. Bridezilla is an all-consuming force of nature. Same sex marriage creates the ugly possibility of TWIN BRIDEZILLAS! Arrrrrrhh!
>
> Tenar (Who married her late beloved wife some 11 years ago, sans Bridezillas.)
And worse, twin gay male Bridezillas. I shudder to think…
---
### Author:  [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/13 "2005-01-29T19:00:01Z")
Maybe there is a method to her madness. It’s an old trick, often pulled on wedding bands, photographers, caterers. It’s the old “I’m fishing for an excuse to not pay you”. Watch out for it.
---
### Author:  [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/14 "2005-01-29T19:02:04Z")
I almost forgot - I don’t feel for you as much as I feel for her new husband. Keep repeating “There but for the grace of Og go I”.
---
### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/15 "2005-01-29T21:03:43Z")
But I bet she had a voice like a thousand violins…being played by a monkey.
---
### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/16 "2005-01-29T23:23:14Z")
> [@Polycarp](#):
>
> Too true!
>
> You need to include this in your list of reasons why people should favor gay marriages: No Bridezillas! 🙂
Right. Because if there’s one thing gays absolutely hate, it’s over-the-top hysterical drama.
---
### Author:  [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/17 "2005-01-29T23:27:49Z")
More news about that ghastly bride. I was talking to the priest this morning after mass. Apparently the bride also made some unflattering comments about the state of cleanliness of the brass on the altar yesterday afternoon. In fact, they were as immaculate as they always are. The sacristan was furious.
> [@Desmostylus](#):
>
> So **Cunctator** , who names himself after Fabius Maximus, the delayer, whines that the bride was delayed.
>
> What goes around comes around, I guess.
Yes, **Desmostylus** , I’m aware of the irony. But I do think there’s a bit of a difference between a general who uses delaying tactics to disconcert his enemies and a woman who can’t even manage to travel 500m to be on time for her own party.
---
### Author:  [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)
#### Post date: [January 29, 2005, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/18 "2005-01-29T23:44:41Z")
> [@jayjay](#):
>
> And worse, twin gay male Bridezillas. I shudder to think…
I was gonna say… you guys have heard of Esprix, right? 😉 (Ooooookies!)
I decided years ago, no more weddings unless I’m paid up front. My band was stiffed one time on the reception (a call from our lawyer friend cleared it up), as was a string quartet who accompanied me (and did other music) at a ceremony. NO MORE.
---
### Author:  [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)
#### Post date: [January 30, 2005, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/19 "2005-01-30T00:08:22Z")
So, a question to those in the wedding biz. Is it always the bride? Is the groom ever difficult?
I remember my wedding day. As long as the DJ didn’t light my hair on fire, I just wanted my bride to be happy.
---
### Author:  [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)
#### Post date: [January 30, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270/20 "2005-01-30T00:57:39Z")
> [@jayjay](#):
>
> And worse, twin gay male Bridezillas. I shudder to think…
Remember that when we tie the knot… lol. 😉
Seriously though, being a bride is no excuse for that type of behavior. She sounds like quite the catch.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bride-from-hell/287270.md?page=2)