# I Pit the Bumper Badger **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 5, 2008, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388 "2008-02-05T15:29:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2008, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/41 "2008-02-06T22:48:31Z")
In that picture **pkbites** posted, it looks like the bumper badger hangs down low enough that covers the license plate. Isn’t that illegal? In addition to being ugly and really stupid looking, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/42 "2008-02-06T22:54:03Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] The point, as safety mavens will tell you, is that a crash crushes the bumper instead of the people inside. [/QUOTE] And I applaud that. I just wish that there were some way that the bumper could be seen by society in general as a sacraficial component of the car, and not some finely crafted structure that must remain pristine. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2008, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/43 "2008-02-06T23:02:59Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] Same ol’ generic answer; Federal Regulations, that’s why. Sometime in the early 70s, energy-absorbing bumpers were first required. [/QUOTE] My car is from the mid-80s and has a metal+rubber bumper. Were there subsequent changes in regulations that made the plastic bumpers (OK, bumper covers) necessary? By the way, bumper protectors [like these](http://www.amazon.com/Bumper-Protector-Designer-Style-Universal-Clear/dp/B0009XHKRY/ref=pd_bbs_9?ie=UTF8&s=automotive&qid=1202338851&sr=8-9) don’t look _too_ ugly. Is there any reason why this may be a bad idea? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2008, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/44 "2008-02-06T23:54:57Z")
I don’t think any bumpers look ugly - a bumper is a bumper. It’s supposed to be a functional device on a car, not for looks. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2008, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/45 "2008-02-07T00:13:49Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] 😕 Wait, they make condoms for cars? Where do they go, on the tailpipe? [/QUOTE] No, they got right in front of these. NSFW [http://www.bumpernuts.com/](http://www.bumpernuts.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2008, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/46 "2008-02-07T02:39:32Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] No, they got right in front of these. NSFW [http://www.bumpernuts.com/](http://www.bumpernuts.com/) [/QUOTE] And those are the stupidest goddam things I have ever seen. Why not just put up a bumper sticker that says I THINK WITH MY BALLS BECAUSE I’M SO FUCKING STUPID! ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2008, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/47 "2008-02-07T03:46:16Z")
[QUOTE=scr4] My car is from the mid-80s and has a metal+rubber bumper. Were there subsequent changes in regulations that made the plastic bumpers (OK, bumper covers) necessary? [/QUOTE] Not necessary: feasible. If you look at cars from before the safety reqs went **up** – in the case of the USA to the 5mph bumper (pre-1971) --, some have bumpers that were little more than a chrome molding around the lower edge of the nose. When the requirement went up, you got substantial bumperage increase, often VERY obviously so (e.g. a Volvo 164 1971 vs a 1975) In 1982 the speed req for passenger-car bumpers in the USA was lowered to 2.5mph which meant that you no longer _needed_ it to be quite so substantial and you could go artistic. Of course, what with the lead times for designs, the changes could not happen overnight, and very often the carmaker would wait for a periodic model redesign to switch over. However, even in countries where the standard remained 5mph, or never changed to it, the evolution of manufacturing processes and design since the 70s had already conspired with cost, weight and aerodynamics (fuel efficiency) considerations to awaken carmakers to how after all, you do not really \*need \* the actual object that absorbs the force to be a **finished** body feature. The idea behind the bumper is that this object dissipate the standard-force impact before there’s any structural damage to the frame/body or unibody, or functional damage to the car’s systems (it’s not a passenger safety component). In older body-on-frame vehicles, this was often achieved by mounting the substantial finished bumper onto shock absorbing pistons or deforming crumplers and these in turn onto the sturdy frame rails. But it’s actually more cost-efficient to just make the bumper itself be a plain unfinished block or strip of enough crumplable material to do the job, and put on it a light aerodynamic fairing for fuel-efficiency and aesthetics. Now, it used to be that many base models of cars would have a rubberized cover to the bumper, but then aesthetics came into play and the makers found out that the buyer, deprived of chrome, would much rather then have the continuous-body painted look than the bumper-car look. So they gave the people what they wanted… ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2008, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/48 "2008-02-07T04:47:54Z")
[QUOTE=scr4] By the way, bumper protectors [like these](http://www.amazon.com/Bumper-Protector-Designer-Style-Universal-Clear/dp/B0009XHKRY/ref=pd_bbs_9?ie=UTF8&s=automotive&qid=1202338851&sr=8-9) don’t look _too_ ugly. Is there any reason why this may be a bad idea? [/QUOTE] In my experience, they just don’t do much. My car (Subaru Outback) came with them. They didn’t seem to offer any real protection. Then when my rear bumper had a nice hole punched in it by the winch hook of a Range Rover and I had to replace the whole rear bumper congomerate (she paid), I didn’t bother to have those replaced. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/49 "2008-02-07T14:17:16Z")
I donno, perhaps people should learn how to drive instead? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2008, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/50 "2008-02-07T14:34:13Z")
[QUOTE=enipla] I donno, perhaps people should learn how to drive instead? [/QUOTE] Well, that would be ideal, but since that doesn’t seem to be happening any time soon, I think the auto industry should get realistic about what actually happens on the roads (and in parking lots). ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/51 "2008-02-07T14:53:31Z")
It’s basically impossible to park on the street in New York City without getting your bumpers a little banged up. And paying for parking costs more than an actual car. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/52 "2008-02-08T05:15:08Z")
[QUOTE=Mama Tiger] In that picture **pkbites** posted, it looks like the bumper badger hangs down low enough that covers the license plate. Isn’t that illegal? In addition to being ugly and really stupid looking, obviously. [/QUOTE] Apparently you are supposed to spring out of the car, pop open the trunk, and flick this badger thingy down _every time you park it_. The aggravation alone would slay me. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/53 "2008-02-08T13:40:41Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] Badgers? We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers! [/QUOTE] _ahem_ ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/54 "2008-02-08T14:11:34Z")
[QUOTE=Mellivora capensis] _ahem_ [/QUOTE] Perhaps a weekly bath would help? ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/55 "2008-02-08T14:49:23Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] Perhaps a weekly bath would help? [/QUOTE] Tried that, but the beavers always point and laugh. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2008, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/56 "2008-04-12T00:25:57Z")
An update: It looks like the free market is rushing to fill in the lucrative void that has been discovered by those brave souls who originated the Bumper Badger. Now, I am seeing the “Bumper Bully” and the “De-Fender” I guess 60 days is all it takes to rip off an idea, tool up some Oriental factory, send product through the Panama Canal, and get it to market in the U.S. God Bless Capitalism. By the way, I really like the name “Bumper Bully.” Is there a big overlap between people who install this kind of device and people who picked on other kids when they were in elementary school? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2008, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/57 "2008-04-12T01:52:31Z")
[QUOTE=brazil84] By the way, I really like the name “Bumper Bully.” Is there a big overlap between people who install this kind of device and people who picked on other kids when they were in elementary school? [/QUOTE] No, silly. They give you a wedgie if you don’t buy one. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2008, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/58 "2008-04-12T10:19:26Z")
I use a _real_ badgers to protect my bumpers. I keep one in the trunk and one under the hood. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2008, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388/59 "2008-04-12T10:34:24Z")
[QUOTE=Mellivora capensis] Tried that, but the beavers always point and laugh. [/QUOTE] Pointy, laughing beavers. Thanks oodles for that image. I most definitely will \*not \*be in my bunk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-bumper-badger/436388.md?page=2)