# I pit the derisive, condenscending, anti-conspiriacy ... \[merged threads\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653 "2012-06-29T02:19:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/21 "2012-06-29T12:01:23Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I don’t have the truth. I do. But there are consequences. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/22 "2012-06-29T12:10:28Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > You couldn’t present a consistent, coherent idea more complex than 1+1=2… That’s what They _want_ you to think! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/23 "2012-06-29T12:54:25Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I do. But there are consequences. I dare you to share it. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/24 "2012-06-29T12:55:41Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Reality does tend to conspire against morons. Idiocracy. Not just a movie. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/25 "2012-06-29T13:49:52Z")
> [@pikey\_pete](#): > > Conspiracy theories are just a practical tool in aiding the government with it’s control of the people, and the sad thing is, so many people buy into them. Good point - though I’s strike “government” and substitute “establishment” so as to include any entrenched power structure whether public or private. “Grand Conspiracy” Theory, whether deliberately or unwittingly, tends to call attention away from how the state and Big Money screws the citizen/consumer or puts forth policies of dubious wisdom or dubious morality _piecemeal, **through perfectly legal means** _ – e.g. Mortgage-Backed Securities/Housing Bubble, PATRIOT Act, etc. People get into a lather over that the business and political leaders are gathering for the Bohemian Grove weekend secret retreat, while not even noticing the entirely public and open hearing on some piece of bad legislation, or not reading the notice their bank just sent them about a new item in their contract terms that will put them over a barrel. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/26 "2012-06-29T14:12:54Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I dare you to share it. Damn. I tried. They won’t allow it. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/27 "2012-06-29T14:45:56Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Does anyone know if **Kozmik** is actually on prescription medications, or if he frequently uses mind-altering drugs? Because I’m constantly amazed at how the things he says just don’t make any sense at all, but in a very colorful way. I don’t know much about him, but I do get a strong vibe of college sophomore (or perhaps dropout) who’s like, _figured it all out_, man, courtesy of some late-night kook website autodidacticism and a couple of mushroom trips whose revelatory importance he vastly overestimated. I know that he’s highly fucking annoying and it’s disheartening to see uninitiated posters step up to the plate thinking they can reason with him, only to be frustrated by an incomprehensible string of airy pseudo-profundities and non-sequiturs. He’s the guy I’d probably get good drugs from, but would strive to complete the transaction and get the fuck out of there as quickly as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/28 "2012-06-29T14:54:00Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Idiocracy. Not just a movie. Yeah, it’s also a [short story](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marching_Morons). > [@Dissonance](#): > > Cocaine is a hell of a drug. [Yup.](http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/iuegla/chappelle-s-show-true-hollywood-stories---rick-james-pt--1) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/29 "2012-06-29T15:03:04Z")
Don’t you _want_ politicians to be able to talk candidly at times, in reference to some Obama handshake story I have peripheral knowledge of, at best. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/30 "2012-06-29T15:11:38Z")
> [@pikey\_pete](#): > > =Conspiracy theories are just a practical tool in aiding the government with it’s control of the people, and the sad thing is, so many people buy into them. I love it! There is a secret government conspiracy to spread conspiracy theories. All those who are spreading them are really just Sheeple, falling for their master plan. Its the ultimate example of[this tactic](http://xkcd.com/966/). I’m going to use it the next chance I get. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/31 "2012-06-29T15:12:25Z")
I see we’re already back to the pattern established by page 3 in the other thread. I wonder if this stuff makes sense in **Kozmik** land. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/32 "2012-06-29T15:16:59Z")
For the record, I’m conspiring against most of you. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/33 "2012-06-29T15:21:41Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > For the record, I’m conspiring against most of you. By yourself? You’ll go blind! ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/34 "2012-06-29T15:26:01Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > By yourself? You’ll go blind! Who said that? ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/35 "2012-06-29T15:27:43Z")
You guys _don’t get it_! You see a picture of politicians shaking hands, but what you don’t know is that they were actually _talking_ before they shook hands! And they might have shaken hands previously, but THERE IS NO PHOTOGRAPH of that! Why not? I think it’s obvious that they wanted to keep those other handshakes secret. We have no way of knowing how many possible handshakes there could have been, or what they discussed during those earlier handshakes, but all of the above evidence proves that it was **aliens**! QED. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/36 "2012-06-29T15:32:26Z")
We’re through the rabbit hole here, people. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/37 "2012-06-29T15:37:28Z")
That conspiracy thread was oddly reminiscent of the classic “Jimi Hendrix was drowned in wine” conspiracy thread, only dumber and duller. > [@Kozmik](#): > > I don’t have the truth. You don’t have a clue, fuzzy-brain. > [@Telemark](#): > > You couldn’t present a consistent, coherent idea more complex than 1+1=2, and I have my doubts about that as well. Did you know that the Queen was overheard muttering a word that might have been “integer” to a man in an expensive business suit whose identity is an open secret? That casts grave doubt on your simplistic “1+1=2”, sheeple-person. > [@August West](#): > > We have no way of knowing how many possible handshakes there could have been, or what they discussed during those earlier handshakes, but all of the above evidence proves that it was aliens! [Indeed](http://educate-yourself.org/nwo). _“The sheer magnitude and complex web of deceit surrounding the individuals and organizations involved in this conspiracy is mind boggling, even for the most astute among us. Most people react with disbelief and skepticism towards the topic, unaware that they have been conditioned (brainwashed) to react with skepticism by institutional and media influences that were created by the Mother of All mind control organizations: The Tavistock Institute of Human Relations in London.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/38 "2012-06-29T16:14:22Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > You couldn’t present a consistent, coherent idea more complex than 1+1=2, and I have my doubts about that as well. I didn’t notice this but I was going to use a similar comparison: Poster: “ **Kozmik** , what do you think 2+2 is?” **Kozmik** : “That’s what I’m saying!” Poster: “What the fuck are you talking about?” **Kozmik** : “Exactly - it’s possible!” ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/39 "2012-06-29T16:16:01Z")
The secret and faceless conspire To rule us! But **Kozmik** ’s on fire To take up the task And pull off the mask Of evil! Let all then aspire To follow his lead and find Truth Wherever it hides (on the roof?) Lest boogeyman dire Emerge from the mire To gobble us up. Praise the sleuth Who’s seen the light. Let it shine through! Believe what he’s saying. It’s true! For **Kozmik** the Brave Will all of us save From… what? I dunno, quite; do you? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/40 "2012-06-29T16:19:21Z")
I have no evidence that conspiracy theories aren’t true. I’m just asking questions about the possibility that they’re complete bullshit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=3)