# I pit the derisive, condenscending, anti-conspiriacy ... \[merged threads\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653 "2012-06-29T02:19:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/421 "2012-07-11T15:19:12Z")
**Kozmik** has been a member since 2004. If he’d just showed up with this crap recently, I wouldn’t be bothering. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/422 "2012-07-11T15:27:12Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > > [@Vinyl Turnip](#): > > > > I suspect that Baudrillard, if provided a link to this thread, would add extra deadbolts to his doors. > > Baudrillard died in 2007. My condolences. Change “doors” to “coffin.” ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/423 "2012-07-11T15:43:25Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I disagree. The world changed between December 7, 1941 and September 11, 2001. Before, only governments could be behind events like Pearl Harbor. Now, governments are not needed to explain events like 9/11. I could name hundreds of major world-altering events before the attack on Pearl Harbor that governments weren’t behind. Lets start with two: [Storming of the Bastille](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Storming_of_the_Bastille) which was the last of several precursors to the French Revolution. Just a hint: Third Estate means commoners. and: [The American Revolution](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Revolution). I honestly don’t think the Illuminati or New World Order or Flying Spaghetti Monster had anything to do with them. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/424 "2012-07-11T16:07:51Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I suspect that Baudrillard, if provided a link to this thread, would add extra deadbolts to his doors. Having had the misfortune of reading a bit of Baudrillard, I can report that his “philosophy” is as confusing and nonsensical as **Kozmik’s**. He’s basically an unintentional parody of po-mo French philosophy, a genre that is already close to self-parody. At least **Kozmik’s** posts are short and the illogic is clear. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/425 "2012-07-11T16:09:37Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Why does the Illuminati follow one person, If they followed two, they’d rip their pants. > [@Ravenman](#): > > and why do world leaders follow the Illuminati? It seems pretty cool to be “in on it.” > [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Having had the misfortune of reading a bit of Baudrillard, I can report that his “philosophy” is as confusing and nonsensical as **Kozmik’s**. He’s basically an unintentional parody of po-mo French philosophy, a genre that is already close to self-parody. At least **Kozmik’s** posts are short and the illogic is clear. Is parodying a self-parody ironic or just stupid? It can be hard to tell sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/426 "2012-07-11T16:35:45Z")
**Kozmik** , good buddy, you have a fellow soldier fighting the good fight over [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=658167) by the name of **reef shark**. Why don’t you go join him and see if between the two of you, you can sort this whole Illuminati/Jesus/evolution/9-11/Pearl Harbor/high fructose corn syrup kerfuffle out for us, hmm? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/427 "2012-07-11T16:57:04Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Having had the misfortune of reading a bit of Baudrillard, I can report that his “philosophy” is as confusing and nonsensical as **Kozmik’s**. I have too, actually, and he’s not any less fuzzy in the original French. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/428 "2012-07-11T17:39:02Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Why does the Illuminati follow one person, and why do world leaders follow the Illuminati? This is what I don’t get. Saying the Illuminati “control” everyone is like saying God “created” the world. It’s a nice simple statement that seems to explain everything, until you pry into it deeply and realize that it just raises further questions. We say Barack Obama controls the executive branch because his powers are laid out in the constitution that everyone in the executive branch agrees to follow. Why should Obama listen to anything this “Illuminati” says? How exactly do they control him? Blackmail? Mind control rays? Or are they just really really charismatic? If the Illuminati is so secret, how do they get new members? Do they have day jobs or do they just sit around all day scheming? It would be quite fascinating if there really was a secret organization controlling everything, but it’s not enough to just tell me that it exists, I want to know how it works. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/429 "2012-07-11T18:33:43Z")
> [@Yumblie](#): > > It would be quite fascinating if there really was a secret organization controlling everything, but it’s not enough to just tell me that it exists, I want to know how it works. But then it wouldn’t be all secret and stuff and batshit insane people wouldn’t have anything to be all batshit insane about. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/430 "2012-07-11T18:38:16Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > **Kozmik** , good buddy, you have a fellow soldier fighting the good fight over [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=658167) by the name of **reef shark**. Why don’t you go join him and see if between the two of you, you can sort this whole Illuminati/Jesus/evolution/9-11/Pearl Harbor/high fructose corn syrup kerfuffle out for us, hmm? _Hold on one fucking minute!_ What’s wrong with high-fructose corn syrup? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/431 "2012-07-11T18:41:37Z")
Yeah, being high is cool. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/432 "2012-07-11T18:44:51Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Yeah, being high is cool. For you and I, maybe, but it crosses the line with corn syrup carbohydrates. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/433 "2012-07-11T18:54:56Z")
This thread is getting corny. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/434 "2012-07-11T19:05:44Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > _Hold on one fucking minute!_ > > What’s wrong with high-fructose corn syrup? Shh! Wait a few minutes and we’ll be told, I have no doubt! ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/435 "2012-07-11T19:21:04Z")
I hope so, I’m drinking a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s right now and it’s so thick, so rich, and still so very sweet. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/436 "2012-07-11T19:32:49Z")
I can’t believe everybody missed out on the obvious truth. Baudrillard isn’t dead. He stumbled onto the Truth, the Illuminati caught wind of it and made him a member. That’s how it works. Figuring out the world is a selection test for inclusion into ruling the world from the shadows. Since they look like insane nuts to everybody else, it’s safe to recruit them. And nobody cares or much notices when they conveniently “die” or “disappear”. Wake up, sheeple! Since **Kozmik** has also found the Truth, I imagine it’s only a matter of time before the Illuminati come knocking, if it hasn’t already. ---
**Author:** ![theR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/977dab/32.png) [@theR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theR)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/437 "2012-07-11T20:12:39Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I have evidence that there are 192 governments in the world. It was mentioned in _The New York Times_. > > I have evidence that national leaders don’t really control the world. **Alessan** wrote that I learned that national leaders don’t really control the world. > > I have evidence that Stuxnet was initiated and implemented by a small group of people acting more-or-less independently of any of the world’s 192 governments. \*\*Alessan \*\* supported my views about Stuxnet (and little else). > > I have evidence that none of the 192 governments of the world was behind the Sept. 11 attacks. **Marely23** [pointed out](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15234788&postcount=139) that it was not a country that was behind the attacks. > > I have evidence that one government - Japan - was behind the Pearl Harbor attack. The Pearl Harbor attack resulted in a war that ended with the atomic bombing of cities in Japan and the signing of [The Japanese Instrument of Surrender](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_Instrument_of_Surrender). > > I don’t have evidence that the Illuminati exist. I believe that the Illuminati exist based on Stuxnet among other things. I beleive that the fact that no government of the world was behind the Sept. 11 attacks, unlike the Peal Harbor attack, is a significant and dangerous development in international relations, indeed, in world history. I mentioned Jean Baudrillard because he wrote an interesting analysis on the Sept. 11 attacks which I will re-read. My theory of international relations asserts that states are _perceived to be_ the main power players in international politics. My theory of international relations is based on the realist theory of international relations which asserts that states are the main power players in international politics. I posit that the Illuminati control the 192 governments of the world and that _someone_ controls the Illuminati. I argue, without evidence, that the Illuminati has more influence over China and India than Barack Obama. More influence over Joseph Kony being captured and killed than [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc) YouTube video. More influence over Syria than WikiLeaks. More influence over Israel than all the Jews, Muslims and Christians combined. More influence over every single person on earth than anyone, except _someone_ who controls the Illuminati. > > I hope that someone on the SDMB can provide evidence for the existence of the Illuminati (or, at the very least, explaining their theory of politics that involves the 192 governments of the world and not necessarily involving the Illuminati). 1. You’re wrong about Stuxnet. The USA and Israeli governments created it, as documented by Sanger then confirmed by the press when following up after release of his book. In particular, it was the NSA on behalf of the USA which is anything but a “small group of people acting more-or-less independently of any of the world’s 192 governments.” It’s a multi-billion dollar government agency (exact budget and staffing unknown/classified) run by an Army General who also runs the United States Cyber Command. Both are under the office of the Secretary of Defense. 2. If the Illumanti control the USA, Israel, and Iran, how does Stuxnet even make sense? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/438 "2012-07-11T22:18:11Z")
You just gotta _ ~~**believe!**~~ _ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/439 "2012-07-11T23:27:38Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I have evidence that there are 192 governments in the world. It was mentioned in _The New York Times_. Unfortunately the New York Times is part of the conspiracy to suppress the truth about the Illuminati/New World Order conspiracy. From [a Times review](http://movies.nytimes.com/2009/05/22/movies/22orde.html) of a movie on the subject: \*“Few things are as tiresome as listening to people rant about their conspiracy theories. While there are, no doubt, tantalizing speculations to be made about the “inside job” that demolished the World Trade Center and the nefarious agenda of the global elite, movies about such things do well to involve James Bond and giant explosions.” “New World Order,” an unrelentingly tedious documentary by Luke Meyer and Andrew Neel, follows a group of considerably less glamorous truth-seekers. The most prominent of the filmmakers’ subjects, the radio host Alex Jones, who is based in Austin, Tex., rails against the powers that be — all of them — in a manner that reinforces every cliché of the conspiracy theorist loon: paranoid, megalomaniacal, delusional, sweaty. The documentary’s most action-packed scene finds Mr. Jones throwing a major hissy fit when his hotel fire alarm goes off, thereby proving, without a shadow of a doubt, that “they” are trying to suppress his revelations."\* If you needed any more evidence that the Times belongs to the Illuminati (and you could hardly need it), [here is proof](http://indianinthemachine.wordpress.com/2010/12/28/cbc-cnn-new-york-times-and-other-illuminati-mainstream-sources-of-news-garbage-etc-push-flawed-echinacea-study-dont-be-fooled-by-dieter-braun-indian-in-the-machine/). By an extreme coincidence :dubious: I bought two echinacea plants on the way home from work, to add to my echinacea plot.\* When the government bans echinacea, I’ll be laughing out my nose at the rest of you. \*relax, not _that_ kind of plot. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/440 "2012-07-12T01:40:04Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > Wake up, sheeple! [_Shhhh!_](http://xkcd.com/1013/) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=23)