# I pit the derisive, condenscending, anti-conspiriacy ... \[merged threads\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653 "2012-06-29T02:19:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/441 "2012-07-12T02:15:00Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I have too, actually, and he’s not any less fuzzy in the original French. Sneak brag! ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/442 "2012-07-12T03:12:07Z")
> [@42fish](#): > > I suspect that most people believe that the leaders of China and India have considerably more influence over China and India than Barack Obama. There’s [small powers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_powers), [middle powers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_power), [regional powers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regional_power), [great powers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_power), and [superpowers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superpower). There are 192 governments in the world. The United States is the only superpower in the world. Russia is one of a few great powers in the world. Barack Obama is the leader of a superpower. Vladimir Putin is the leader of a great power. China and India are [potential superpowers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superpower#Potential_superpowers). Since China and India are not superpowers, Barack Obama is, arguably, the most power person on earth. Let’s analyze the 192 governments of the world, starting with small powers. From the Wikipedia article on small powers: > [@](#): > > The strategic behaviour of small powers is characterized by dependence. A small power recognizes that it cannot obtain security by relying solely on its own capabilities. They cannot affect the international system alone but with some concerted effort they can have an impact on the way the system works. A small power cannot effect the international system alone, unlike a great power or a superpower. The Illuminati has more influence than that. To the Illuminati, great powers and even superpowers are pawns. > [@theR](#): > > You’re wrong about Stuxnet. What about [the Sept. 11 attacks](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15258921&postcount=405)? > [@iiandyiiii](#): > > What do you believe about the Illuminati? Have you ascertained (or come to believe) any particular characteristics of their makeup? _They_ are like Bob Gray. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/443 "2012-07-12T03:16:22Z")
I’m going to start linking to my previous posts as my cites. How can you argue with that? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/444 "2012-07-12T03:18:02Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Sneak brag! When you have a B.A. in French that you haven’t used in almost 20 years, it’s hard to be humble. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/445 "2012-07-12T03:22:30Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > I’m going to start linking to my previous posts as my cites. It was a link to a previous post of mine which, in turn, linked to a post by **Marley23**. Pay attention, smartass. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/446 "2012-07-12T03:23:40Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > How can you argue with that? You can’t argue with **Marley23**. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/447 "2012-07-12T03:30:47Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > You can’t argue with **Marley23**. 😛 _You_ can’t, no. People who are on their meds are a different story. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/448 "2012-07-12T04:16:54Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > _You_ can’t, no. People who are on their meds are a different story. Nitpick I think you meant off their meds or need new ones 🆒 No offense, please don’t hurt me **Marley23** 😃 **CAPT** ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/449 "2012-07-12T10:53:55Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > What about [the Sept. 11 attacks](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15258921&postcount=405)? I’m not sure what you are trying to say here, but evidence would suggest that you are wrong here too. You’ve been wrong about everything you’ve posted so far. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/450 "2012-07-12T11:14:15Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > You can’t argue with **Marley23**. 😛 Bullshit. I came very close to arguing with him, in person, at a Jeopardy! audition a few years back. But I was on my meds, and saw no upside to it. And besides, my wife wanted a Waldorf Salad, so I didn’t have the time for a proper argument. I had to settle for abuse, but \*\*Marley23 \*\*had wandered out of earshot by then. There. Dispute that! ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/451 "2012-07-12T11:22:13Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > I’m not sure what you are trying to say here, but evidence would suggest that you are wrong here too. You’ve been wrong about everything you’ve posted so far. How was I wrong in this post? > [@Kozmik](#): > > I have evidence that none of the 192 governments of the world was behind the Sept. 11 attacks. **Marely23** [pointed out](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15234788&postcount=139) that it was not a country that was behind the attacks. I cited **Marley23** ’s post as evidence. > [@Marley23](#): > > Al Qaeda was behind the attacks and it’s not a country None of the 192 governments of the world was behind the Sept. 11 attacks. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/452 "2012-07-12T12:04:59Z")
You’re wrong in that you believe it implies something changing in the nature of world politics. It’s nothing new, just happened on a bigger stage. Non-governmental actors have always been players in world affairs. Why you think 9/11 is some massive departure from the past is what is wrong. Also, it says absolutely nothing about the imaginary bogeyman you’ve created - the Illuminati. There’s no evidence for them, and in fact, things like 9/11 would argue against them since we have the organization responsible and they don’t appear to be controlled by anyone external. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/453 "2012-07-12T12:05:53Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Let’s analyze the 192 governments of the world, starting with small powers. And then, apparently, also ending with small powers. Because…hey, look! A blue car! Must be an Illuminati limousine! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/454 "2012-07-12T12:44:41Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > It was a link to a previous post of mine which, in turn, linked to a post by **Marley23**. > > Pay attention, smartass. You got me. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/455 "2012-07-12T13:18:23Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > How was I wrong in this post? How was my post about Zionist leprechauns and the phlogiston-powered supercomputer controlling the Federal Reserve wrong? Do you deny that the following statement is true? > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > 1. I believe that water is a molecule composed of one oxygen and two hydrogen atoms. I hope that someone will present evidence for the leprechauns and the supercomputer. Until then, I’m content to believe that they could possibly exist. Meanwhile, I’m going to reread my Thomas Pynchon novels and snort some more bath salts. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/456 "2012-07-12T15:09:29Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Might as well skip to “I believe the Illuminati exists,” since it’s not supported by any of the prior statements anyway, regardless of whether they’re accurate or not. > > Here, I’ll do one: > > 1. I believe that water is a molecule composed of one oxygen and two hydrogen atoms. Well sure. But have you noticed? There’s trace amounts of heavy water in natural resources and reservoirs. Who do you think is responsible for putting deuterium oxide in our drinking water? THE ILLUMINATI! > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > 1. I believe that the current scientific estimate of the age of the Earth is 4.54 billion years. Then how do you explain the fact of the moon moving away from us an inch a year. Rewinding this rate back through time, the moon would’ve been rolling on the surface of the earth in 1776. The very same year we declared our “independence.” Independence from whom? THE ILLUMINATI! > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > 1. I believe that a movie titled _The Dark Knight Rises_, starring Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne/Batman, will be released later this month to great commercial success. Uh huh. And who do you think gives prominence to the recent surge in IMAX 3D films, driving up ticket prices? THE ILLUMINATI! > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > 1. I believe that the Federal Reserve is controlled by Zionist leprechauns and a cuneiform-based supercomputer powered by phlogiston. I believe this too. And also that the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. THE ILLUMINATI! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/457 "2012-07-12T15:16:04Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Well sure. But have you noticed? There’s trace amounts of heavy water in natural resources and reservoirs. Who do you think is responsible for putting deuterium oxide in our drinking water? > > THE ILLUMINATI! > > Then how do you explain the fact of the moon moving away from us an inch a year. Rewinding this rate back through time, the moon would’ve been rolling on the surface of the earth in 1776. The very same year we declared our “independence.” > > Independence from whom? > > THE ILLUMINATI! > > Uh huh. And who do you think gives prominence to the recent surge in IMAX 3D films, driving up ticket prices? > > THE ILLUMINATI! > > I believe this too. And also that the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. > > THE ILLUMINATI! You got the puchline wrong. It’s “THE ARISTOCRATS!” ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/458 "2012-07-12T15:18:32Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > You got the puchline wrong. It’s “THE ARISTOCRATS!” But I wasn’t able to work my goat-feltching joke in. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/459 "2012-07-12T15:18:51Z")
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Gutenburg a star? WE DO!..er the Illuminati. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/460 "2012-07-12T15:24:19Z")
Who do you think controls the Illuminati? THE ILLUMINATI! Wait, that can’t be right, I think I forgot to carry a two… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=24)