# I pit the derisive, condenscending, anti-conspiriacy ... \[merged threads\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653 "2012-06-29T02:19:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/461 "2012-07-12T16:17:16Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Wait, that can’t be right, I think I forgot to carry a two… Pronoun trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/462 "2012-07-12T16:24:01Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Gutenburg a star? Am I the only one hearing this in the voice of [Tuli Kupferberg?](http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858819713/#C0tQ2seg1Kdc4hpJ.99) _“Who can buy a government so cheap? Change a cabinet without a squeak? Fucking-a man! Illuminati Man!”_ ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/463 "2012-07-12T16:37:30Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I posit that the Illuminati control the 192 governments of the world and that someone I posit that the Illuminati control the 192 governments of the world and that someone controls the Illuminati.controls the Illuminati. Why are heads of state sometimes deposed? Did Gaddafi defy the Illuminati? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/464 "2012-07-12T16:47:11Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Am I the only one hearing this in the voice of [Tuli Kupferberg?](http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858819713/#C0tQ2seg1Kdc4hpJ.99) > > _“Who can buy a government so cheap? > Change a cabinet without a squeak? > Fucking-a man! > Illuminati Man!”_ Actually, most of us will be hearing a [song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OExykL5QnXY)from _The Simpsons_, which is what the lyrics are from. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/465 "2012-07-12T16:47:36Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > Why are heads of state sometimes deposed? Did Gaddafi defy the Illuminati? I read that as “Did Gandalf defy the Illuminati?” ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/466 "2012-07-12T16:53:03Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > None of the 192 governments of the world was behind the Sept. 11 attacks. And that proves what exactly? No government was behind the Oklahoma City bombing, and even that is not proof that any Illuminati entity exists. The fact that you believe in this nonsense is of no matter to me at all, but it still amazes me what people can believe in. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/467 "2012-07-12T17:21:50Z")
Has Twitter come up in this thread yet? Because it isn’t a real **Kozmik** thread until there’s talk about how Twitter has changed the entire universe. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/468 "2012-07-12T19:10:40Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I read that as “Did Gandalf defy the Illuminati?” Saruman controls the Illuminati? Now we’re getting somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/469 "2012-07-12T19:31:46Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > Nitpick I think you meant off their meds or need new ones 🆒 I was saying that people who _are_ on their meds can argue with me successfully. People who should be getting psychiatric help and aren’t, which is to say **Kozmik** , probably can’t. The omniscient turtle that lives on my roof is my cite. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/470 "2012-07-12T20:54:27Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I read that as “Did Gandalf defy the Illuminati?” Nonsense, it’s Gandolfini. He’s such an [obvious](http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/275582_100002022808972_5455290_n.jpg) [Illuminosi](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZDJAKqAQD8k/TcBw73KrzgI/AAAAAAAAACk/rTWnd-Zn6zo/s1600/freemasonet+shqip.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/471 "2012-07-12T22:12:02Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I was saying that people who _are_ on their meds can argue with me successfully. People who should be getting psychiatric help and aren’t, which is to say **Kozmik** , probably can’t. The omniscient turtle that lives on my roof is my cite. Is that where he went? I thought he died under Derry. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/472 "2012-07-13T00:29:22Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I read that as “Did Gandalf defy the Illuminati?” Well? Did he? > [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > Saruman controls the Illuminati? > > Now we’re getting somewhere. it’s already been established upthread that the One who controls the world is, in fact Sauron, who also happens to be Xenu’s alter ego during the Second Age. **Kozmik** is scouring the archives in the bowels of Minas Tirith as we speak, looking for the Black Speech decoder ring. We’re sure it’ll lead us to the proper volcano. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/473 "2012-07-13T01:07:31Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Well? Did he? > > it’s already been established upthread that the One who controls the world is, in fact Sauron, who also happens to be Xenu’s alter ego during the Second Age. **Kozmik** is scouring the archives in the bowels of Minas Tirith as we speak, looking for the Black Speech decoder ring. > > We’re sure it’ll lead us to the proper volcano. Where the fuck is Tom hanks when you need him? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/474 "2012-07-13T01:36:12Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I read that as “Did Gandalf defy the Illuminati?” Likewise. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/475 "2012-07-13T02:40:17Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > The omniscient turtle that lives on my roof is my cite. Didn’t Lonesome George die? > [@cmyk](#): > > it’s already been established upthread that the One who controls the world is, in fact Sauron, who also happens to be Xenu’s alter ego during the Second Age. Mr. Sender’s alter ego as well. > [@Ravenman](#): > > Has Twitter come up in this thread yet? Because it isn’t a real **Kozmik** thread until there’s talk about how Twitter has changed the entire universe. No, that would be The Straight Dope Message Board. _universe explodes_ > [@Who\_me\_1](#): > > And that proves what exactly? No government was behind the Oklahoma City bombing, and even that is not proof that any Illuminati entity exists. The fact that you believe in this nonsense is of no matter to me at all, but it still amazes me what people can believe in. 9/11 arguably had a greater effect on the United States (indeed the world) than the Oklahoma City bombing. > [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Gutenburg a star? > > WE DO!..er the Illuminati. I was wondering when someone would make a Simpsons reference. Does anyone know the scene where a young Charles Montgomery Burns joins the Illuminati? > [@gamerunknown](#): > > Why are heads of state sometimes deposed? Did Gaddafi defy the Illuminati? There are 192 governments in the world. There are emerging superpowers like China and India. There are superpowers like the United States (currently the world’s only superpower). There are great powers like Russia, Japan, Iran, and the United Kingdom. There are regional powers like Canada, North Korea, Australia, and Israel. There are middle powers like Uganda and Libya. And there are [small powers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_powers) like Laos and Mongolia. Recently, Hillary Clinton visited Laos and Mongolia as reported in _The New York Times_. In “Vietnam War’s Legacy Is Vivid as Clinton Visits Laos”, Hillary Clinton is the first Secretary of State to visit Laos in 57 years. To put this in context, the Vietnam War was just emerging 57 years ago. After explaining the political alignment of Laos through history, the article explains, “Now Laos is closely aligned with China, its biggest benefactor by far, with investments of more than $4 billion in mining, hydropower and agriculture. The Chinese built many of the main buildings in this relaxed tropical capital and are now constructing a new convention center with 50 villas for a European-Asian summit meeting in November, a meeting that does not include the United States.” The Illuminati will certainly be represented, though. In “From Mongolia, Clinton Takes Jab at China”, Hillary Clinton visits Mongolia, which is located between Russia and China. She indirectly mentioned China in her speech and recalled her visit to China 17 years ago when she was First Lady and declared at a UN conference that “human rights are women’s rights - and women’s rights are human rights.” The article explains the political alignment of Mongolia through history, “Formerly aligned with the Soviet Union, Mongolia has been held up by the administration as a model of how democracy can be born from authoritarianism.” The article also mentioned that Hillary Clinton met the President of Mongolia, Tsakhia Elbegdorj. Further to my point about superpowers and small powers, the article concludes, “The Obama administration has taken a special interest in Mongolia, largely because of its position next to China.” And because of its position next to Russia. Gadaffi was the head of state of Libya and while Kony is not the head of state of Uganda, to the Illuminati, Kony, like Gadaffi, is a marked man. The Illuminati potentially has “the number” on any head of state, indeed, anyone in the world. Remember the controversy about how al-Awlaki, a US citizen, was killed? As I [answered](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=656839&page=9) **iiandyiiii** ’s questions, the Illuminati are like Bob Gray. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/476 "2012-07-13T03:38:35Z")
> [@](#): > > Further to my point Do you really think stating how many nations there are (for the eleventh time) and giving a brief overview of the geographic and political location of Mongolia is actually “to the point” on answering the question “Did Gaddafi defy the Illuminati?”? Or that “furthering your point” by stating that the United States is interested in Mongolia because of its proximity to China actually furthers that point? Please connect the dots for us - and maybe start drawing some dots that are closer together. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/477 "2012-07-13T06:06:08Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Do you really think stating how many nations there are (for the eleventh time) and giving a brief overview of the geographic and political location of Mongolia is actually “to the point” on answering the question “Did Gaddafi defy the Illuminati?”? Ok. I’ve made my point about how many nations there are and how many heads of state there are. I’ve also made my point about how, as head of state of a superpower (currently the world’s only superpower), Barack Obama is, arguably, the most powerful person on earth. I want to make my point (which I know will be disputed) that the Illuminati is above Barack Obama and that _someone_ is above the Illuminati and that that _someone_ is a power-unto-themself. I can only describe (for the third time) the Illuminati as I did to **iiandyiii** - as being like Bob Gray. Yes, Gaddafi defied the Illuminati. Saddam Hussein also defied the Illuminati. The Iraq War, of course, wasn’t just about getting Hussein dead. The broader point, which I have been trying to make, is that Gadaffi, Hussein, and all other heads of state are pawns. And (hopefully for the last time) I’m stating that none of the 192 governments of the world was behind the Sept. 11 attacks. No superpower - not even one of the great powers - was behind the Sept. 11 attacks. No longer are nations needed to explain events. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/478 "2012-07-13T06:31:51Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Ok. I’ve made my point about how many nations there are and how many heads of state there are. I’ve also made my point about how, as head of state of a superpower (currently the world’s only superpower), Barack Obama is, arguably, the most powerful person on earth. I want to make my point (which I know will be disputed) that the Illuminati is above Barack Obama and that _someone_ is above the Illuminati and that that _someone_ is a power-unto-themself. And for the umpteenth time, (and I know you will not reply in a coherent fashion, but it needs to be asked), WHY do you believe that nonsense? What reason do you have to believe that with all the fractious people in the world, there simply has to be a tiny group that controls them and a single person who controls that group? It is beginning to sound like simple paranoia. > [@Kozmik](#): > > And (hopefully for the last time) I’m stating that none of the 192 governments of the world was behind the Sept. 11 attacks. No superpower - not even one of the great powers - was behind the Sept. 11 attacks. No longer are nations needed to explain events. So what? There is no sane person on Earth who believes that any nation was behind the WTC/Pentagon attacks. The only difference is that the rest of us are able to recognize the evidence that it was a relatively small group of nationless (but privately well-funded) terrorists while you want to believe that it was vast, shadowy powers that cannot be identified. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/479 "2012-07-13T07:37:40Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Where the fuck is Tom hanks when you need him? He’s been out sick with a brain cloud. Prognosis isn’t good. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2012, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/480 "2012-07-13T07:43:02Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > And for the umpteenth time, (and I know you will not reply in a coherent fashion, but it needs to be asked), WHY do you believe that nonsense? What reason do you have to believe that with all the fractious people in the world, there simply has to be a tiny group that controls them and a single person who controls that group? It is beginning to sound like simple paranoia. I can almost believe it, if you consider businesses to be analogous. I mean, take a look at [this chart](http://i.imgur.com/k0pv0.jpg) as a quick illustration. Various brands and once-independent companies have all been collected into megacorps: those 10 corporations on that image are responsible for a significant number of popular national brands. The only things stopping those corps from eventually coalescing into one titanic corporation with only a small band of people at the top that presents itself to the public as thousands of smaller subsidiary companies are anti-monopoly and public disclosure laws. There are no such laws at the sovereign government level, aside from whatever individual agreements countries choose to abide by. If you think of governments like you think of corporations, it doesn’t seem like a huge leap to think that there’s some CEO or shadowy Board of Directors who can “buy up” governments and bring them all under one massive umbrella without the general public knowing. Of course, sovereign governments are nothing like corporations. There’s too many ways such an operation could be exposed, intentionally or accidentally. (I have no idea if **Kozmik** actually thinks this way, but it’s one possible viewpoint, even if it starts from false assumptions.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=25)