# I pit the derisive, condenscending, anti-conspiriacy ... \[merged threads\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653 "2012-06-29T02:19:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/541 "2012-07-15T00:14:08Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > 1.) I [believe](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/14/world/middleeast/president-morsi-of-egypt-is-undercut-by-state-run-media.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper) that Mohamed Morsi is a pawn of Washington. > 2.) I believe that Washington is a pawn of the Illuminati. > 3.) I believe that the Illuminati is a pawn of _someone_. > > 1.) I [believe](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15234788&postcount=139) that Al Qaeda was behind the September 11, 2001 attacks. > 2.) I believe that the Illuminati is behind Al Qaeda. > 3.) I believe that _someone_ is behind the Illuminati. > > I [believe](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15263191&postcount=442) that the Illuminati are like Bob Gray. > Except for my belief based on my answer to **iiandyiiii** ’s questions, my other beliefs in this post can be categorized as primary beliefs, secondary beliefs, and tertiary beliefs. Primary beliefs are beliefs for which I have links, evidence. Secondary beliefs are beliefs for which I do not have evidence. Tertiary beliefs are beliefs for which not only do I not have any evidence, I do not even have indication of evidence. > > I hope you reply to this post, **Larry Borgia**. Please don’t disappear like **Alessan**. > > I also hope that **iiandyiiii** replies to this post. Ok, the more I think about it, the less willing I am to respond in detail. What you keep doing is making assertions. I get that you believe the things you assert. I’m not going to accuse you of trolling, not yet anyway. But what I want to know is the reasoning behind the assertions._Why_ do you believe that the Illuminati is behind Al Qaeda? I accept that is something you believe, but I have no idea why you believe it. I realize this is a futile request, but is there any way you could describe your reasoning in detail, with helpful examples and explanations, rather than one-liner assertions and cryptic links and hints? 'Cause I’m just not getting it. Please explain why your theory of Al Qaeda is more plausible than the well known and historically attested to story out lined by **Tomndebb** in post #519? I’m really not getting it, and I’d appreciate a detailed explanation, if at all possible. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/542 "2012-07-15T00:31:11Z")
Goddamn it. I am the power behind the Illuminati. Am not the original Illuminati Overlord. I inherited it from a man named Goldman, who likewise inherited it from a man named Rothschild. The original Illuminati Overlord has been [del]retired and living like a king in Patagonia[/del] dead and mouldering in his grave for 200 years. Now I have to have all of you killed and this board erased. Fuckers. And here I’d been having fun trolling you with made up tales of a mundane life in tech support and other lowly careers. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/543 "2012-07-15T00:46:34Z")
Waitaminit. The fact that some dude from Ohio got Nick Swardson’s old telephone number is proof of the illuminati? Nick Swardson? NICK SWARDSON? This guy? [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/J1hyGeiByMM/hqdefault.jpg "Nick Swardson on drunken Taco Bell") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1hyGeiByMM) ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/544 "2012-07-15T00:58:58Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Yes. I trust the NYT and the SDMB, even though the NYT [and the SDMB](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15260060&postcount=1) are controlled by the Illuminati. How would your life change if the NYT and SDMB, and the whole world, weren’t under control of the Illuminati? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/545 "2012-07-15T01:40:08Z")
It seems that the Illuminati are now making their presence known on this very message board: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?u=136083](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php) :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/546 "2012-07-15T01:41:29Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > . . . Now I have to have all of you killed and this board erased. . . . Not too hasty; the board could still serve a valid disinformation role. And don’t kill me, bro’! I’d be a good henchman. Or even a minion. I have a really extensive LinkedIn network that could be activated for Illuminated purposes. I know some Jews, too, and they’re really powerful. I read it on the internet somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/547 "2012-07-15T07:08:25Z")
For the record, I don’t think **Kozmik** has a mental illness just because he keeps rambling about conspiracies even though that happens often enough that it’s a big stereotype that some kinds of crazy people are obsessed with conspiracies. Most people who believe in Conspiracy Theories are just very stupid and I don’t assume they’re mentally ill. The reason I think differently about you, **Kozmik** , is that you can’t explain your beliefs coherently and can’t seem to realize they make no sense to anyone else. You’ve basically said “Stuxnet and Al Qaeda, therefore the world is run by the Illuminati [behind whom is some other guy].” None of those things add up, and they don’t suggest each other in any way. On top of that, a lot of the _other stuff_ you’re saying comes off as unhinged. There’s your insistence that other people (including me) are supporting parts of your argument when they’re in complete disagreement with you, your assertions that you must be in your right mind because the New York Times has published a letter you wrote (about something unrelated to the Illuminati, I assume), the stuff about that girl at the student newspaper _getting you_ in some deep way when she was just exchanging bland pleasantries with you and was probably uncomfortable. From where I sit, all of this sounds exactly like someone who is deluded and who not only sees things that aren’t there, but when dealing with other people, either thinks they share his delusion or can’t explain his perceptions and doesn’t understand why they don’t see what he sees. Sorry, **Kozmik** , but this entire Illuminati/New World Order thing is all in your mind, and you don’t even get the excuse of saying I’m only calling you crazy because of your beliefs. Your beliefs are just laughable; what is delusional is your overall behavior (including but not limited to the beliefs). ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/548 "2012-07-15T07:35:56Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > It seems that the Illuminati are now making their presence known on this very message board: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?u=136083](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php) > > :dubious: This has frightened me so badly that I am posting on this board at 0335 EDT instead of sleeping! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/549 "2012-07-15T14:31:06Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Well, he might be neither mentally ill nor a troll. He might just be very, very stupid. Stupid people believe that the WTC was brought down by controlled detention because “it doesn’t look right.” When given dozens of reputable cites by scientists and engineers they find one wacky cite that agrees with their theory and will not listen to reason. Crazy people will provide a cite about white water rafting as proof that Johnson killed Kennedy. And then have no idea why no one else can see it. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/550 "2012-07-15T14:57:37Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > For the record, I don’t think **Kozmik** has a mental illness I do. This all sounds like the next thing will be that he’s in jail for attacking or worse, killing someone he decided was in the illuminati, or because he decided that someone on TV was sending coded messages meant only for him. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/551 "2012-07-15T15:30:46Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I do. Nice bit of selective reading. Reminiscent of **Kozmik** , actually. Try reading the rest of the post, first. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/552 "2012-07-15T18:20:10Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > The reason I think differently about you, **Kozmik** , is that you can’t explain your beliefs coherently and can’t seem to realize they make no sense to anyone else. What do I need to do to explain my beliefs coherently? Here are my beliefs: I believe that Al Qaeda was behind the September 11, 2001 attacks. I believe that the Illuminati is behind Al Qaeda. I believe that _someone_ is behind the Illuminati. I believe that there are 192 governments in the world. I believe that there are numerous corporations in the world. I [believe](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15267658&postcount=480) that the Illuminati is behind all the corporations and governments in the world. I believe that _someone_ is behind the Illuminati. I believe that the Illuminati was behind the American Civil War, World War I, World War II, the Soviet Union, the 1960s, Watergate, the 1990s, and the New World Order which began in 2000. I believe that the events of the New World Order are the September 11, 2001 attacks, the Iraq War, the global financial crisis, and other events that characterize the 2000s. > [@Marley23](#): > > You’ve basically said “Stuxnet and Al Qaeda, therefore the world is run by the Illuminati [behind whom is some other guy].” > None of those things add up, and they don’t suggest each other in any way. Ok. > [@Marley23](#): > > There’s your insistence that other people (including me) are supporting parts of your argument when they’re in complete disagreement with you, No, I never wrote that you supported parts of my argument. I assume you (and all other posters) are in complete disagreement with me (see the thread title). I wrote that the fact that [Al Qaeda was behind the attacks and it’s not a country](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15234788&postcount=139) is part of my argument. > [@Marley23](#): > > your assertions that you must be in your right mind because the New York Times has published a letter you wrote (about something unrelated to the Illuminati, I assume), It was related to the letters I published in the student newspaper. > [@Marley23](#): > > the stuff about that girl at the student newspaper _getting you_ in some deep way when she was just exchanging bland pleasantries with you and was probably uncomfortable. I re-read her columns online. She wrote about, among other things, student activism, religion, osteopathic medicine vs. allopathic medicine, anarchism, and Americans circumventing the mainstream media at the 2008 CNN/YouTube presidential debate. > [@Marley23](#): > > and you don’t even get the excuse of saying I’m only calling you crazy because of your beliefs. I want you to realize how subversive my views are (see what that columnist wrote about) and I want you to recognize that I have the right to my beliefs and views. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/553 "2012-07-15T18:33:16Z")
I can believe that little blue fairies run everything. But I should be prepared for people to ask me why I think that. It’s not subversive, it’s kooky. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/554 "2012-07-15T18:33:47Z")
How does [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ia0Tob-oJ28) fit into your theory? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/555 "2012-07-15T18:38:05Z")
You have been very clear with what you believe. You offer no proof or even reasons for that belief. You think you have which is what makes you crazy. The cites you give do in no way prove what you think they do. Most CTers at least have reasons behind their beliefs. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/556 "2012-07-15T18:41:55Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > How does [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ia0Tob-oJ28) fit into your theory? I don’t know. Any good reason? > [@Loach](#): > > Most CTers at least have reasons behind their beliefs. What about anti-CTers? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/557 "2012-07-15T19:12:13Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I don’t know. Any good reason? > > What about anti-CTers? Yes all of them do. And can provide cites. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/558 "2012-07-15T19:26:23Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > What do I need to do to explain my beliefs coherently? Well, you’d need coherent beliefs, and then you’d need to explain them in a manner that would allow someone else to follow your logic. > [@](#): > > I believe that Al Qaeda was behind the September 11, 2001 attacks. This is a fact. > [@](#): > > I believe that the Illuminati is behind Al Qaeda. > I believe that _someone_ is behind the Illuminati. These aren’t facts. They don’t follow from ‘Al Qaeda was behind September 11th’ and you don’t explain how they relate to each other. > [@](#): > > I believe that there are 192 governments in the world. > I believe that there are numerous corporations in the world. Again, these are facts. > [@](#): > > I [believe](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15267658&postcount=480) that the Illuminati is behind all the corporations and governments in the world. > I believe that _someone_ is behind the Illuminati. Same. Everybody agrees there are governments and corporations. You’ve never posted any evidence for this theory or explained what the Illuminati has to do with it. > [@](#): > > I believe that the Illuminati was behind the American Civil War, World War I, World War II, the Soviet Union, the 1960s, Watergate, the 1990s, and the New World Order which began in 2000. And now we’ve arrived at batshit crazy. If you’re going to annoy people with this stuff, have the courtesy to annoy someone who is being paid to listen and can do something to help you with these delusions. > [@](#): > > It was related to the letters I published in the student newspaper. Which is not related to the Illuminati. They don’t run the student newspaper because _they don’t fucking exist._ > [@](#): > > I re-read her columns online. She wrote about, among other things, student activism, religion, osteopathic medicine vs. allopathic medicine, anarchism, and Americans circumventing the mainstream media at the 2008 CNN/YouTube presidential debate. I don’t care… I don’t care… and I don’t care. > [@](#): > > I want you to realize how subversive my views are They’re not subversive, they’re _STUPID_. Which is fine, you have the right to believe a lot of moronic shit. However the fact remains that you’re coming off like a crazy person and you should be under the care of a psychiatrist if this is what you believe and why you believe it. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/559 "2012-07-15T19:36:29Z")
**Kozmik** What makes this frustrating for me is that whenever anyone clearly demonstrates that there is a glaring hole in your thought process, you just ignore it. The Morsi thing for instance, can you admit that you are wrong about that? We can and have proved that most of your assertions are fundamentally flawed, will that affect you in any way? If not you are a waste of my time and ours. Cheers **CAPT** ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/560 "2012-07-16T00:20:15Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > What do I need to do to explain my beliefs coherently? > > Here are my beliefs: > > I believe that Al Qaeda was behind the September 11, 2001 attacks. > I believe that the Illuminati is behind Al Qaeda. > I believe that _someone_ is behind the Illuminati. Once again **Kozmik** , you are listing your beliefs. You are not explaining them. We know that you believe these things, people want to know _why_. Merely repeating a list doesn’t give any insight into your logic. you’ve made this list of your beliefs many times in this thread. Please explain why you find these beliefs so compelling. Or, you know, don’t. But if you’re not going to do that why make this thread at all? why continue to post in it? Are you just here to troll people and yank their chains? That’s a pretty shitty thing to do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=29)