# I pit the derisive, condenscending, anti-conspiriacy ... \[merged threads\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653 "2012-06-29T02:19:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 32
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/621 "2012-07-16T16:50:46Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Yeah, this isn’t fun anymore, and i’ve made my point many times. i don’t think we’re getting any more out of **Kozmik** than we’ve seen: lists of assertions and bizarre non-sequitors about the how Kim Jong-un likes Basketball and some dude in California got the same cell number as a D-list celebrity. I didn’t understand my reasoning. I was waiting for **Baal Houtham** to answer my question. Now that he answered my question, I will answer yours. I don’t expect an answer. I will reply to **Baal Houtham** and then I will reply to you. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/622 "2012-07-16T16:51:35Z")
Serious question: Why did you put the OP in multiple colors? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/623 "2012-07-16T16:55:44Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > You fucking understand nothing: There’s nothing to understand. You see a bunch of geopolitical events, and because you’re apparently delusional, you’re convinced the Illuminati is behind everything. Your beliefs are nonsense and you’ve never posted anything like a logical explanation for them because, well, they are nonsense and you really can’t explain nonsense in a logical manner. It’s not true that somebody has to be in charge of every single thing that happens. Most of us figure that out pretty early on in life. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/624 "2012-07-16T16:56:21Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I’m going to reply to **Larry Borgia**. Why do you announce your intent to reply? Just reply, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/625 "2012-07-16T17:24:35Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I didn’t understand my reasoning. > > I was waiting for **Baal Houtham** to answer my question. Now that he answered my question, I will answer yours. I don’t expect an answer. > > I will reply to **Baal Houtham** and then I will reply to you. Why do you post that you’re going to answer a question? Why not just post your answer? ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/626 "2012-07-16T17:38:12Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Why do you announce your intent to reply? Just reply, dammit. That _was_ his reply. That’s what he’s been doing in all the threads. We’re supposed to be able to magically understand from that alone… ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/627 "2012-07-16T17:55:56Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > There is an entity that is above the 192 governments. That entity is the Illuminati. > > The Soviet Union and Nazi Germany indicate that the Illuminati exist. Not the first to ask, but here goes: Why do the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany indicate that the Illuminati exist? What are the goals of the Illuminati? How do you know? Why doesn’t Occam’s Razor apply here? All these major world events (various wars, 9/11, economic events, etc) can be explained _without_ the Illuminati- whether considered individually or together. Why do you think the Illuminati is necessary to explain them? ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/628 "2012-07-16T18:00:57Z")
This isn’t quite the most illogical OP I’ve ever read, but it’s close. I assure you [del]we[/del] The Illuminati do not exist. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/629 "2012-07-16T18:01:36Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Not the first to ask, but here goes: Why do the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany indicate that the Illuminati exist? > > What are the goals of the Illuminati? How do you know? > > Why doesn’t Occam’s Razor apply here? All these major world events (various wars, 9/11, economic events, etc) can be explained _without_ the Illuminati- whether considered individually or together. Why do you think the Illuminati is necessary to explain them? Oh sure, trying to throw us off the track. But you give yourself away by your username. All those "i"s. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/630 "2012-07-16T18:06:01Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Oh sure, trying to throw us off the track. But you give yourself away by your username. All those "i"s. I know, it’s creepy… my username and the word “Illuminati” have the same number of i’s.\* \*As long as you count those lower case L’s as i’s. And then add one. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/631 "2012-07-16T18:16:59Z")
I think it’s safe to say the OP has likely been offed by the all powerful Illuminati. No doubt for spreading news of their, ‘secret’, existence and power. Surely the very first rule of Illuminati is, ‘don’t talk about Illuminati’. I’m going to take comfort knowing his worldliness insured he no doubt knew the risks. Poor fellow. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/632 "2012-07-16T18:31:37Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > It wouldn’t hurt. It also wouldn’t hurt to read this upside down, or with your eyes closed, or naked. I tried that last suggestion and now I’m not allowed back at the library. Clearly the Illuminati are trying to stop me from getting to the truth. (Or perhaps _ **the truth** _.) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/633 "2012-07-16T18:40:45Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I know, it’s creepy… my username and the word “Illuminati” have the same number of i’s. My username and the word “Illuminati” have the same number of b’s, c’s, and d’s. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/634 "2012-07-16T18:49:38Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > My username and the word “Illuminati” have the same number of b’s, c’s, and d’s. You know what other word has the same number of b’s, c’s, and d’s? Hitler. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/635 "2012-07-16T19:15:58Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > You know what other word has the same number of b’s, c’s, and d’s? > > Hitler. And Stalin and Roosevelt. We controlled all sides in World War II. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/636 "2012-07-16T19:23:11Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Why do you post that you’re going to answer a question? Why not just post your answer? You’ll note that even when he posts that he’s going to answer a question, he never gets around to actually posting the answer. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/637 "2012-07-16T19:30:28Z")
Merged “I pit the derisive, condenscending, anti-conspiriacy propagandists” pit thread with “my political beliefs” from IMHO, both started by **Kozmik**. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/638 "2012-07-16T20:11:45Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Since you believe that [the SDMB is controlled by the Illuminati](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15247281&postcount=282), and that the Illuminati is a secret organization, why do you think they haven’t banned you and deleted all your posts? Because I published my political statement in _The New York Times_. > [@Baal\_Houtham](#): > > the ability of a one entity to cause problems for another does not indicate that the first entity is more powerful than the second I’m not so sure. Could you elaborate? Please read \*\*iiandyiii’\*\*s [post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15278182&postcount=627). > [@Ravenman](#): > > Who is “they,” Germany and Russia or the Illuminati? The Illuminati. > [@Ravenman](#): > > It is unexplained what Orwell has to do with any of this. 1. > [@Ravenman](#): > > Even if I try to connect what these bizarre, scattershot ideas mean, the quality of being Orwellian has nothing to do with evidence of the Illuminati. Big Brother? > [@Ravenman](#): > > Are you seriously thinking that a picture of a bunch of private school kids proves the existence of the Illuminati? A picture of a bunch of private school kids does not prove the existence of the Illuminati. A picture of a bunch of private school kids does show that one of those private school kids isn’t always just another private school kid, i.e. Pak-un, a.k.a. Kim Jong-un. > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The more powerful they become the more they are known. I believe that the more powerful they are the less they are known. > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > This theory runs counter to the evidence of the historical examples I gave above. Perhaps. Pol Pot spent [four years in Paris](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/16/world/asia/experts-on-north-korea-can-see-a-lot-in-a-hemline.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper) in his 20s. We know how that turned out. > [@Steken](#): > > OK, but don’t you think it’s _a lot more likely_ that the kids in that picture point and laugh because, “Hey, lookit, we’re getting our photo taken! Cheeeeeese!” You know, just kids goofing around…? Take another look at that picture. Notice who is not pointing and laughing. > [@Steken](#): > > What is the Illuminati’s political agenda (if any), and which are their religious beliefs (if any)? To not need to be in _control_. They believe in a higher power. > [@Steken](#): > > Do they ever fight amongst themselves? Are there ever any internal power struggles, and that sort of thing? If so, how would we know? Yes, _someone_ who controls the Illuminati instigates those power struggles. It is known because it _appears_ that there is [anarchy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anarchy_in_international_relations). > [@Steken](#): > > Have there been any major political events in the last, say, hundred years which were _not_ controlled by the Illuminati? No. > [@Steken](#): > > Oh and about Kim Jong-un. You mentioned he’s part of the Illuminati. Does that mean the group is centered in North Korea? Korea generally? Asia? Is Kim Jong-un personally, like, the boss, or more of a mid-level bureaucrat or what? He is, perhaps, one of the Illuminati. > [@Simplicio](#): > > Why did you put the OP in multiple colors? Because I knew that it would be believed that: > [@Baal\_Houtham](#): > > this is where your mundane observations stop and the nonsense begins [And I knew which belief would be contested.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15277191&postcount=579) > [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Why do the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany indicate that the Illuminati exist? Because the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany were part of the power struggle. See my reply to **Steken** in _this_ post. > [@iiandyiiii](#): > > What are the goals of the Illuminati? How do you know? To not need to _control_ the world. Insight. > [@iiandyiiii](#): > > All these major world events (various wars, 9/11, economic events, etc) can be explained _without_ the Illuminati- whether considered individually or together. All these world events are, arguably, related. See **Baal Houtham** ’s [post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15277765&postcount=610). Note: I am not saying that he agrees with me or that he disagrees with me. > [@elbows](#): > > Surely the very first rule of Illuminati is, ‘don’t talk about Illuminati’. _This_ is The Straight Dope Message Board. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/639 "2012-07-16T20:12:53Z")
I approve this merger of threads, because it combines all the crazy into one big multicolored hot pocket. I wonder what happens when Kozmik gets together with other conspiracy folk with different conspiracy theories? \ Here are my beliefs: I believe that Al Qaeda was behind the September 11, 2001 attacks. I believe that the Purple Unicorn Strike Force is behind Al Qaeda. I believe that someone is behind the Purple Unicorn Strike Force. I believe that there are 192 governments in the world. I believe that there are numerous corporations in the world. I believe that the Purple Unicorn Strike Force is behind all the corporations and governments in the world. I believe that someone is behind the Purple Unicorn Strike Force. I believe that the Purple Unicorn Strike Force was behind the American Civil War, World War I, World War II, the Soviet Union, the 1960s, Watergate, the 1990s, and the New World Order which began in 2000. The proof for all of this you ask? Just look at North Korea and Venezuela. \ \ “It’s the Illuminati you dunce! Just look at Hitler, Tojo and Stalin!” \ "Purple Unicorn Strike Force all the way buddy! Why do you think the word “Purple” is in the title? Just think about it. Here’s a hint… “Royal” purple. \ Illuminati! Illuminati! Illuminati! \ Purple Unicorn Strike Force! Purple Unicorn Strike Force! Purple Unicorn Strike Force! (spittle flys and arms flail about uncontrollably) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653/640 "2012-07-16T20:18:53Z")
I’m not sure if you know what you’re talking about, but what can you tell me about The Seattle Group and/or The Midget? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=31) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-derisive-condenscending-anti-conspiriacy-merged-threads/626653.md?page=33)