# I Pit the Empire **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 5, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559 "2010-11-05T08:14:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/101 "2010-11-05T19:33:01Z")
> [@Commissar](#): > > The “difference” is that after the newly liberated nations embraced our glorious form of government, we gave them completely free aid, no strings attached. Americans, being Americans, instead found a coldhearted way to make a quick buck off of human suffering. > > Also, it’s worth pointing out that you’re STILL occupying Germany, Italy, and Japan. Well, no, we aren’t. We have bases there, by the consent of the people, and we pay for the privilege. And if these governments decided to end the arrangement, then those would be the breaks. Out of curiosity, what happened when the Hungarians and the Czechs decided they wanted to modify your glorious form of government? ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/102 "2010-11-05T19:33:25Z")
> [@Commissar](#): > > you’re STILL occupying Germany Can you hazard a guess as to why we are there in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/103 "2010-11-05T19:35:46Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Originally the same thing: “Unready” is from the saxon Unræd “lacking (good) advice”. From ræd, meaning “counsel” or “advice”. > > **It’s a pun on his first name, which means “noble advice” (æðele, meaning “noble”, and ræd).** > > So literally, something like “King Nobel-Advice, the Badly-Advised”. (my bolding) I didn’t know that. Huh, interesting. Learn something everyday. Ignorance fought again, even in this, the most unlikely of all threads for it. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/104 "2010-11-05T19:41:28Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > (my bolding) I didn’t know that. Huh, interesting. Learn something everyday. Ignorance fought again, even in this, the most unlikely of all threads for it. No, this is where you’d expect to see it. We’re bringing out the heavy ordinance against **Commissar’s** ignorance - some friendly fire is to be expected. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/105 "2010-11-05T19:42:33Z")
FYI to shade the depth of hypocrisy occurring here, I will contribute that **Commissar** _[lives here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12830575#post12830575)_. But only “because I have not yet discovered the proper way out.”:dubious::rolleyes:😕 So he’s a Polish-Bellorussian-Russian-_American_. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/106 "2010-11-05T19:42:54Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > (my bolding) I didn’t know that. Huh, interesting. Learn something everyday. Ignorance fought again, even in this, the most unlikely of all threads for it. Hey, no prob; I love me a bit of historical trivia. In fact, the House of Wessex names tended to have meanings (for example, Ælfred means “elf-counsel”). Definitely, this thread would be improved by a Old English hijack. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/107 "2010-11-05T19:46:03Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > You laugh now, but soon you will quake as you witness the power of this fully operational Death Star. Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/108 "2010-11-05T19:48:10Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > FYI to shade the depth of hypocrisy occurring here, I will contribute that **Commissar** _[lives here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12830575#post12830575)_. But only “because I have not yet discovered the proper way out.”:dubious::rolleyes:😕 > > So he’s a Polish-Bellorussian-Russian-_American_. Well, he’s just seeing the depths of American oppression and depravity firsthand. Just last week, for example, I’m sure he walked into a Starbucks or a Barnes and Noble and a clerk insisted that he take a seat in … A Comfy Chair. (Seriously, **Commissar** , you’ve gotta get a sense of humor, man. If you’re as keen on your Soviet heritage as you say, well, a well-honed sense of dark humor is a part of that, and one legitimately to be proud of.) ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/109 "2010-11-05T19:49:16Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Hey, no prob; I love me a bit of historical trivia. In fact, the House of Wessex names tended to have meanings (for example, Ælfred means “elf-counsel”). > > Definitely, this thread would be improved by a Old English hijack. 😃 Since **Commisar** has some sort of stilted old-style Communist tone to his posts, we could really do with an Olde English style comeback to his wanna-be-commie rant: \*I pitte youre style of governemente, for in the olden tymes the righte of governing did derive from Kinges and Princes, as God intended, rather than youre dictatoreshippe of the proletariatte. \* ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/110 "2010-11-05T19:49:36Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. > > The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force. You know, I never found that bit of bluster persuasive. I mean, where in the movies or the Extended Universe do we ever see the Force used for something equally impressive? I mean, look - there’s a planet. And now there isn’t. Small wonder that the Imperial Navy officers had a hard time taking Vader seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/111 "2010-11-05T19:53:22Z")
> [@Commissar](#): > > Also, it’s worth pointing out that you’re STILL occupying Germany, Italy, and Japan. We have a military alliance with all three - and I will point out that given half a chance most of the countries that used to be in the Warsaw Pact scrambled to join NATO. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/112 "2010-11-05T19:53:59Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > You know, I never found that bit of bluster persuasive. I mean, where in the movies or the Extended Universe do we ever see the Force used for something equally impressive? I mean, look - there’s a planet. And now there isn’t. > > Small wonder that the Imperial Navy officers had a hard time taking Vader seriously. They mind-fuck an entire generation of people (human or otherwise) into believing the Empire was a good thing. I bet the force was used there, somewhere. Actually, on the serious side, I agree with your post. ---
**Author:** ![Commissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c68b51/32.png) [@Commissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Commissar)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/113 "2010-11-05T19:56:34Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > Really? We have an average life expectancy that’s 11 years longer than in your country. Yeah, we drink a lot. Nobody’s perfect. Globally speaking, your life expectancy is unimpressive. > [@](#): > > We have better roads than you do. Apparently, you don’t drive a lot in the Empire. Personally, I’ll take a Russian road any day; maybe you people can stop murdering others for a day and fix your damn potholes instead. > [@](#): > > We have a better military than you do. That’s a meaningless comment. We have nukes; you have nukes. That’s pretty much the end of the discussion right there. > [@](#): > > Our entertainment industry dwarfs the rest of the world’s combined. Good for you. You have a vast latrine of stupidity spewing out mindless garbage. You must be very proud. Once you get bored, there’s a couple intelligent Russian movies I can recommend to you. > [@](#): > > We have better agriculture than you do (remember eating our grain exports when you were growing up because your country couldn’t keep up in the Cold War and feed its people at the same time…yeah). You have an agricultural system that depends in its entirety on the labor of a subgroup that you’re actively trying to kick out of your country. That will end well, I’m sure. When you need some potatoes, call us. > [@](#): > > We have better technology than you do. Too vague to answer. > [@](#): > > We never murdered our own citizens the way your country did, and we’re the barbarians? You didn’t? Huh. I guess that was somebody else’s Civil War, then. > [@](#): > > Your country (including pre-Soviet Union) has a longer systematic warlike history than ours does. Er… we have existed for much longer, obviously. Per capita, no one comes close to you bloodthirsty savages. > [@](#): > > Your nation’s politicians murder each other in coups and for intrigue, we have a voting democracy. You’re thinking Stalin. Times have changed, my friend. Putin and Lukashenko are looking pretty lively to me. > [@](#): > > We are the greatest Republic the world has ever known. Your country, not so much. What is your criteria for determining that? Because, frankly, Canada, Australia, and all of Western Europe look a lot more appealing. At least they provide medical care. > [@](#): > > Hey, freedom of speech is pretty nice, isn’t it? How long have you been enjoying that, about 20 years now? It’s alright, but I’ll switch it for freedom of food, medical care, and shelter any day of the week. You need to get your priorities straight. > [@](#): > > And please with the racism. Are you going to sit there and act like your country has never suppressed its ethnic minorities, Jews, Dagestanis, Chechens, Mongoloids? We are human; we have made mistakes. What makes us different is that we try to improve. You, on the other hand, prefer to wallow in your own filth and backwardness. > [@](#): > > How’s your alcoholism rate? I hear its pretty low. What can I say, vodka is awesome. You people really ought to drink more. Maybe it will keep you from slaughtering other people for a change. > [@](#): > > You’re a buffoon, get your weak-sauce rant outta here. You were doing relatively well until the ad hominem crap. You should set higher standards for yourself; you may be an American, but you don’t necessarily have to act like one. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/114 "2010-11-05T20:00:56Z")
You forgot to mention all the people shot by East Germany guards for wanting nothing more than to live in West Germany and trying to get there. What were they thinking when they risked their life to escape? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/115 "2010-11-05T20:07:18Z")
> [@Commissar](#): > > What can I say, vodka is awesome. You people really ought to drink more. You know, even hard-core fanatics make exceedingly good points on occasion. Vodka _is_ awesome - personally, I prefer scotch, but still. **Commissar** , you might find it interesting to read the District of Columbia’s Human Rights Act. It’s pretty progressive by American standards, but far from unusual - a number of states and cities have similar laws, and Federal antidiscrimination law is also fairly broad (though the DCHRA is more so). Anyway, the first paragraph of the DCHRA gives you a pretty good idea of what its about: > [@](#): > > It is the intent of the Council of the District of Columbia, in enacting this chapter, to secure an end in the District of Columbia to discrimination for any reason other than that of individual merit, including, but not limited to, discrimination by reason of race, color, religion, national origin, sex, age, marital status, personal appearance, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression familial status, family responsibilities, matriculation, political affiliation, genetic information, disability, source of income, status as a victim of an intrafamily offense, and place of residence or business. You can read the whole thing here: [http://ohr.dc.gov/ohr/cwp/view,a,3,q,491858,ohrNav,|30953|.asp](http://ohr.dc.gov/ohr/cwp/view,a,3,q,491858,ohrNav,%7C30953%7C.asp) This seems rather at odds with your idea of a nation that refuses to move forward on human rights and anti-discrimination- in fact, we seem to take these issues awfully seriously. Let’s see - what happened to that nice lady who was reporting on the Russian Army’s abuses in Chechnya? Bullet to the back of the head, if memory serves. And the former FSB official who publicly accused the Russian government of responsibility? Well, I rather suspect he envied Ms. Politkovskaya - polonium poisoning is a bad end. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/116 "2010-11-05T20:12:47Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > You forgot to mention all the people shot by East Germany guards for wanting nothing more than to live in West Germany and trying to get there. What were they thinking when they risked their life to escape? Probably something like, “Please don’t shoot me,” I suspect. ---
**Author:** ![Commissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c68b51/32.png) [@Commissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Commissar)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/117 "2010-11-05T20:13:42Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > You know, even hard-core fanatics make exceedingly good points on occasion. Vodka _is_ awesome - personally, I prefer scotch, but still. You really ought to try some of our Georgian cognacs, then. Heavenly stuff, that. > [@](#): > > This seems rather at odds with your idea of a nation that refuses to move forward on human rights and anti-discrimination- in fact, we seem to take these issues awfully seriously. Sure, you’ll take a step forward, three steps back. The D.C. charter is nice, sure. But while you’re doing that, you’re simultaneously passing DOMAs and other gay-bashing legislation, so I wouldn’t exactly call you progressive. EDIT: And keep in mind that it was not until 2003 that your supreme court ruled that gay sex can’t be criminalized (Lawrence v. Texas). 2003!!! Sure, you’re making progress, but you’re approximately two centuries behind the rest of us… > [@](#): > > Let’s see - what happened to that nice lady who was reporting on the Russian Army’s abuses in Chechnya? Bullet to the back of the head, if memory serves. And the former FSB official who publicly accused the Russian government of responsibility? Well, I rather suspect he envied Ms. Politkovskaya - polonium poisoning is a bad end. Why is it that, whenever a Russian dies anywhere, the FSB/KGB are blamed? Do you also automatically blame the FBI when someone gets murdered in your city? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/118 "2010-11-05T20:21:13Z")
> [@Commissar](#): > > Why is it that, whenever a Russian dies anywhere, the FSB/KGB are blamed? Do you also automatically blame the FBI when someone gets murdered in your city? No - but if prominent critics of the American government suddenly started disappearing from DC or NYC and showing up very, very dead, I’d be concerned. And if people who prominently objected to those deaths died exceedingly horrible and exotic deaths, I’d be more concerned still. Add in the routine harassment of human-rights-workers in Russia, and it all starts to look awfully suspicious. As for your “one step forward/three steps back,” thing, that’s a fair point. I’d mention it at my golf club tomorrow, but I can’t join one - I’m Jewish, you see, and they’ve met their quota. Just as well - I couldn’t afford the fees, anyway, since I couldn’t go to a good college or law school - quotas again. Though they’re hardest on my Jewish friend dating a black girl - it’s hard enough getting by without a college degree without running afoul of anti-miscegenation laws as well. To say nothing of the hassles of having to plan all his dates around Jim Crow laws … ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/119 "2010-11-05T20:22:37Z")
Credit where credit is due, though - I’ll certainly give the Georgian cognacs a try if I see them. Thanks for the tip! Any particular recommendations? (Other than that I accept the inevitable and glorious triumph of the socialist worker’s paradise, I mean). ETA: Though I do think the Georgians would object to a non-Georgian Soviet Union enthusiast referring to cognacs produced in that country as “our” cognacs. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2010, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559/120 "2010-11-05T20:26:39Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Since **Commisar** has some sort of stilted old-style Communist tone to his posts, we could really do with an Olde English style comeback to his wanna-be-commie rant: > > \*I pitte youre style of governemente, for in the olden tymes the righte of governing did derive from Kinges and Princes, as God intended, rather than youre dictatoreshippe of the proletariatte. \* 😃 I earmbeorhtnesse éow græf ánweald, … 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-empire/559559.md?page=7)