# I pit the goat felching douchenozzle(s) who blew up the Boston Marathon **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 15, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788 "2013-04-15T20:38:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/441 "2013-04-20T21:48:57Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > After they’re already dead, you’ll join the handwringing. Thanks a pantsload. :rolleyes: > > Don’t you think there might be a better plan? Sure there is. But it’s not trying to make political hay out of a tragedy. I don’t see a whole lot of difference between: \*There was a bombing in Boston. OMG I bet it was Moos-lim terrorists! \* and _The bombers actually were Muslims. OMG, right-wingtards are going to attack Muslims._ ---
**Author:** ![Werekoala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7993a0/32.png) [@Werekoala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Werekoala)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/442 "2013-04-20T23:22:45Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > It’s good of you to offer your commitment, btw. Also, in case someone was planning to bring doughnuts to the denouncing, it’s always helpful to have at least an approximate headcount. 🙂 Apple Fritter, please. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/443 "2013-04-20T23:24:39Z")
> [@](#): > > …OMG I bet it was Moos-lim terrorists!.. My first thought was it was likely to be Muslim terrorism. So? How does that impact my concern for innocent Muslims? Do you expect I would be more sanguine about it if they were attacked by a hyper-patriotic Trotskyist study group rather than a campus Young Americans for Freedom? In a word, no. In two words, hell, no. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/444 "2013-04-20T23:44:51Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > So, in terms of my vague understanding of the law… the fact that this is a federal crime means the death penalty applies, overruling the fact that the state where the crime occurred does not have the death penalty? It doesn’t matter if state law provides for capital punishment or not when it comes to a federal offense. If the person is tried in federal court for a federal offense and the federal law provides for capital punishment for that offense, then the person being tried may face capital punishment. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/445 "2013-04-21T03:18:04Z")
> [@newcomer](#): > > FBI already says that they interviewed him on behalf of “unnamed” foreign request in 2011. I’d say self-serving would be FBI not disclosing everything. > > I’m sure father’s claim can be easily proven - the problem is who is available to prove it? What are you saying without any cute JAQing off? ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/446 "2013-04-21T11:34:04Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > So, in terms of my vague understanding of the law… the fact that this is a federal crime means the death penalty applies, overruling the fact that the state where the crime occurred does not have the death penalty? Correct. Emersonian Massachusettsian compassion won’t save this dude’s neck. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/447 "2013-04-21T11:40:59Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I’d bet good money a part of them thought “OMFG what have we done?” after they did it. My wife wonders if perhaps the White Hat’s running over his brother with the Mercedes was really an accident caused by his haste to get away. She thinks that maybe, perhaps subconsciously, the younger brother was starting to think “What the f— has my big brother gotten me into?”. I told her that was an unlikely explanation for his alleged role in hastening his brother’s death, but that it was nevertheless a very interesting thought. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/448 "2013-04-21T16:47:32Z")
You are apparently well advanced in the art of husbandry. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/449 "2013-04-21T17:03:11Z")
Perhaps. But I’ve meet Hal Briston and he ain’t no Hal Briston. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/450 "2013-04-21T17:09:20Z")
Is he fellow who reeks of lanolin? Lustrous, healthy hair, some of it on his head? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/451 "2013-04-21T17:10:43Z")
baaaaa ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/452 "2013-04-21T17:11:59Z")
Please do not bleat sheepishly in my presence, my reaction can be very embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/453 "2013-04-22T15:52:47Z")
The Huffington Post blares more news out of Cambridge today on its front page: **Boston Bombing Suspects Did Not Have Gun Licenses** I thought, “You are _shitting_ me. You have got to be kidding. Is there no end to the depravity of these people, that they’d illegally possess firearms?” Anyone wanting to expound on this exciting new twist in this case please feel free, because I’m missing something. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/454 "2013-04-22T16:24:06Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > My wife wonders if perhaps the White Hat’s running over his brother with the Mercedes was really an accident caused by his haste to get away. She thinks that maybe, perhaps subconsciously, the younger brother was starting to think “What the f— has my big brother gotten me into?”. > > I told her that was an unlikely explanation for his alleged role in hastening his brother’s death, but that it was nevertheless a very interesting thought. They should charge him with vehicular homicide against his brother, just for the hell of it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/455 "2013-04-22T16:28:51Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > They should charge him with vehicular homicide against his brother, just for the hell of it. _“Before you face the firing squad for all that other stuff, here’s a medal for killing your brother.”_ ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/456 "2013-04-23T16:39:32Z")
I forsee a long, tortuous defense (paid for by the taxpayers); leading to an acquittal (he wasn’t properly advised of his “rights)”. The lawyers will be lining up to defend the poor lad-he was obviously a victim of his evil brother. He really did not know what he was getting into. After suitable psychological counseling, he’ll be ready to join the ranks of productive society! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/457 "2013-04-23T16:41:31Z")
If you are currently taking any mind-altering substances, stop at once. If not, consider it. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/458 "2013-04-23T17:31:02Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Sure there is. But it’s not trying to make political hay out of a tragedy. > > I don’t see a whole lot of difference between: > > \*There was a bombing in Boston. OMG I bet it was Moos-lim terrorists! > \* > and > > _The bombers actually were Muslims. OMG, right-wingtards are going to attack Muslims._ Well, one difference is that there’s a history of actual real violence suffered by innocent Muslims in the wake of incidents like this, where as I know of no actual physical violence suffered by conservatives in situations where liberals thought that the conservatives were going to go out and profile Muslims. That said, I agree that an attitude of “well, we all KNOW that’s going to happen now, those bad bad racists are all going to go attack Muslims” is basically useless and self-reinforcing. (I mean, if I were in charge of a Mosque in the US, I would definitely hire extra security after events like this, but I would do it quietly without making an issue out of something that had, as of yet, not actually happened.) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/459 "2013-04-23T17:47:03Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Please do not bleat sheepishly in my presence, my reaction can be very embarrassing. And perhaps illegal and un-Scriptural. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/460 "2013-04-23T17:49:35Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Sure there is. But it’s not trying to make political hay out of a tragedy. > > I don’t see a whole lot of difference between: > > \*There was a bombing in Boston. OMG I bet it was Moos-lim terrorists! > \* > and > > _The bombers actually were Muslims. OMG, right-wingtards are going to attack Muslims._ The difference is that these Muslims turned out to be **white.** Aasif Mandvi, at any rate, is deeply relieved. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788.md?page=24)