# I pit the goat felching douchenozzle(s) who blew up the Boston Marathon **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 15, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788 "2013-04-15T20:38:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/461 "2013-04-23T18:51:15Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > And perhaps illegal and un-Scriptural. So, a stage ventriloquist was passing through Texas, stopped at a farm to ask for some water. The farmer was an agreeable but rather dull Aggie, so the ventriloquist thought he would have some fun with him. “Sure thank you, friend. Your dog told me you had really good water, and he was telling the truth…” “My dog? Stranger, you’ve been in the sun too long, dogs can’t talk!” “Oh? Say, Rover, how does this guy treat you?” And the dog appeared to answer. “Oh, not bad. Get to chase the occasional rabbit, table scraps for supper, lay around in the sun and lick my balls…Pretty good, over all.” The Aggie was dumbfounded. “How about your horse, does he talk?” By now the Aggie was somewhat shaken, and uncertain “Well no, not so far as I know…” “Hey, Dobbin! How does this guy treat you?” “Not bad, not bad. A little light on the feed bag, but most of the heavy work is done by the tractor, so I don’t have any real complaints…” The Aggie farmer was stunned. “Well, looky there, you have a sheep! Does your sheep talk?” “Oh, sure, sheep talk, everybody knows that. But they _lie_!” ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/462 "2013-04-24T10:48:55Z")
> [@Tee](#): > > The Huffington Post blares more news out of Cambridge today on its front page: > > **Boston Bombing Suspects Did Not Have Gun Licenses** > > I thought, “You are _shitting_ me. You have got to be kidding. Is there no end to the depravity of these people, that they’d illegally possess firearms?” > > Anyone wanting to expound on this exciting new twist in this case please feel free, because I’m missing something. Thanks. The only thing I can think of is that they’re trying to make the point that it was easy for them to illegally obtain guns. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/463 "2013-04-24T12:46:12Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > I’ll be very surprised if this isn’t some horribly conceived “tax day protest”. > > :rolleyes: > > This is some fucked up shit right here. Surprise! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/464 "2013-04-24T12:55:18Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > So, in terms of my vague understanding of the law… the fact that this is a federal crime means the death penalty applies, overruling the fact that the state where the crime occurred does not have the death penalty? > [@Monty](#): > > It doesn’t matter if state law provides for capital punishment or not when it comes to a federal offense. If the person is tried in federal court for a federal offense and the federal law provides for capital punishment for that offense, then the person being tried may face capital punishment. **Monty** ’s exactly correct. A person can be tried for the same acts by a state court and a federal court without offending the Double Jeopardy rule. The state and the feds are different sovereigns; if an act constitutes a crime under state law and federal law, then the feds can try, convict, and sentence an actor without regard for whether the state has also tried, convicted, and sentenced him. It’s not “overruling” – it’s two completely separate processes. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/465 "2013-04-24T13:56:49Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > The difference is that these Muslims turned out to be **white.** A lot has been made of their alleged whiteness, but being white is a social construct. These guys would not stand out in any Middle Eastern city. Whether that makes them not white or most Middle Easterners white, you can decide. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/466 "2013-04-24T14:21:11Z")
Thanks to **Bricker** and everyone else who tries to pierce my dense legal ignorance. re: White- Maybe they _were_ white, but they’re not anymore! I think this is what a lot of Muslims go through after every Muslim terrorist attack- we don’t want to claim that guy! He’s not one of us! ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788/467 "2013-04-24T22:08:30Z")
UN douchbag Richard Falk has earned himself an honourable mention: > [@](#): > > “The American global domination project is bound to generate all kinds of resistance in the post-colonial world. … In some respects the United States has been fortunate not to experience worse blowbacks, and these may yet happen, especially if there is no disposition to rethink US relations to others in the world, starting with the Middle East. … > We should be asking ourselves at this moment, ‘how many canaries will have to die before we awaken from our geopolitical fantasy of global domination?’” [UN official who tied Boston bombings to Israel must go, U.S. says](http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/u-u-n-official-tied-boston-bombings-israel-153819135--politics.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-goat-felching-douchenozzle-s-who-blew-up-the-boston-marathon/655788.md?page=23)