# I pit the homeless men who defecate near my apartment **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 24, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789 "2011-01-24T15:29:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/41 "2011-01-25T01:40:18Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Think you have it bad. I once lived near a patch of woods. Every fucking day, the Pope was out there taking a dump. Embarassing. You’d think he had a gold plated Throne-Toilet somewhere he could use. The bears attending mass are annoying too aren’t they? ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/42 "2011-01-25T04:50:53Z")
Perhaps an easier solution would be to find another way to walk to the bus stop? A relatively secluded foot path with human poopers hanging out doesn’t seem the safest way to go. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/43 "2011-01-25T08:21:38Z")
If this is a pit for the pooping homeless, I think I’d rather leave before I take on any more shit kthx. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/44 "2011-01-25T10:09:28Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > I’m not an uberconservative, to-hell-with-the-homeless guy. I know full well that there are a range of factors that drive people to homelessness, often outside of their control - drug addiction, mental illness, an economy that seems to be on a dedicated search-and-destroy mission against the middle class. What is this crap? In the first place, “to hell with the homeless guy” is hardly a conservative position, uber or not. IIRC, past liberal concerns for their “freedoms” is why they’re out roaming the streets in the first place, instead of institutionalized where most of them belong. And even assuming you’re correct about the economy destroying the middle class (which it’s not), what makes you think there’s nothing between “middle-class” and “homeless”? Besides, if you were a conservative you would have a CAR and you wouldn’t have to be having to take buses to work. Then homeless poop wouldn’t be a problem. 😃 (Hey, one good stereotype deserves another.) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/45 "2011-01-25T10:55:29Z")
In fairness, he did say he wasn’t an _uber_conservative… which was already evident, as the OP was phrased as a complaint rather than a request for recipes. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/46 "2011-01-25T12:02:14Z")
I am shocked that the mentally ill don’t abide by normal societal standards. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/47 "2011-01-25T12:26:51Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > In fairness, he did say he wasn’t an _uber_conservative… which was already evident, as the OP was phrased as a complaint rather than a request for recipes. Every now and then a wisecrack comes along that simply has to be acknowledged as damn fine work. Good job, **VT**. I bow in your general direction. ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/48 "2011-01-25T12:55:58Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > I’m sure the workhouses, orphanariums, and prisons have them…humbug. By Jove, I even gave one of those homeless layabouts an honest shilling once, and the filthy bugger POOPED on it. Heh. But I hardly think that “homeless persons at least have some options on where to defecate” is a very “let them eat cake” sort of statement, if that’s what you’re getting at. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/49 "2011-01-25T14:10:21Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Every now and then a wisecrack comes along that simply has to be acknowledged as damn fine work. Good job, **VT**. I bow in your general direction. Thank you. I’m working on some really swell fart jokes, too. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/50 "2011-01-25T14:10:58Z")
Have you tried rubbing their noses in it, or whapping them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/51 "2011-01-25T14:23:30Z")
I am not sure where the OP lives, but I woudl be furious and horrified. In a first world country one of the things I have sort of come to expect is not seeing piles of poop everywhere. I get pissed enough about the dog owners that don’t clean it up\*; my town has very strict dog-enforcing laws. \*It’s just one guy, but he has TWO big boxers. Those are the ones with the big square jaws, right? I’ve even thought about reporting him, but he doesn’t let them shit in my yard, thankfully. It’s gross, and what’s worse is, everyone else cleans up their dog crap, so what makes him so special? ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/52 "2011-01-25T14:27:35Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > my town has very strict dog-enforcing laws. So everyone is required to have a dog? Or do you mean that dogs enforce the laws? Either way, I find your town intriguing and I wish to subscribe to its newsletter. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/53 "2011-01-25T14:29:41Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > From your link: > \*I’m sorry to say it isn’t just the homeless. We live on an alley 2 blocks from H Street and for 10 years I have watched people literally pull up in nice cars to pee in it. They clearly could have gone to a nearby McDonald’s or equivalent. > > It is a cultural problem at this point that goes beyond economic situations. This behavior did not occur with such frequency in Boston. > > When I confront people they are always “shocked” I think it is a big deal. > … > > You are exactly correct. Folks who think urinating in public (whether it be in alleys or out in more plain view) is limited to just the homeless obviously havent observed enough of the urination activity in DC. Ive seen well-dressed men get out of nice cars and pee in our alley; morning, midday, evening…doesnt really matter. And I’ve seen ladies squat and either pee or take a crap. What’s the solution? Gate off all of our alleys so they cant be walked through anymore? Who wants that? Not me Public restrooms? Nobody’s going to want that next to their home. > > For now, we self-police the problem: catch offenders, run them off, and hose the alley regularly. And yes, I have hosed down one or two alleys-pee-ers in my 5 yrs here. Still, there’s got to be a better way. Nobody should have to live alongside other people’s product. > \* > > What the heck is going on in DC? Where did people get the idea that it was okay to act like this in public? A lot of it that there simply aren’t that many businesses with restrooms available to the public. Most of the bathrooms in businesses that have them are for paying customers only. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/54 "2011-01-25T14:39:19Z")
I suggest secret cameras be set up to film the events, and golf club armed patrols hidden in the shadows. We’ll get this stopped. ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/55 "2011-01-25T14:46:24Z")
> [@Caffeine.addict](#): > > A lot of it that there simply aren’t that many businesses with restrooms available to the public. Most of the bathrooms in businesses that have them are for paying customers only. Surely you don’t mean to suggest that this excuses peeing in an alley by individuals who are, ostensibly, well-off and working? 1. Go to a library or another public facility. 2. Buy a coffee or pastry and use the café’s restroom. 3. Hold it until you reach your destination. Just a few options. If you have a UTI or something and you simply _must_ go, now, or face immense pain/discomfort, well, fine. But it sounds a bit too common for that. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/56 "2011-01-25T15:09:18Z")
> [@Paranoid\_Randroid](#): > > Heh. But I hardly think that “homeless persons at least have some options on where to defecate” is a very “let them eat cake” sort of statement, if that’s what you’re getting at. Or, it should be clear from the crude attempt at pseduo-Dickensian language that I was just trying some humour. I wasn’t actually rebutting your post. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/57 "2011-01-25T16:45:17Z")
> [@Paranoid\_Randroid](#): > > Surely you don’t mean to suggest that this excuses peeing in an alley by individuals who are, ostensibly, well-off and working? > > 1. Go to a library or another public facility. > > 2. Buy a coffee or pastry and use the café’s restroom. > > 3. Hold it until you reach your destination. > > Just a few options. If you have a UTI or something and you simply _must_ go, now, or face immense pain/discomfort, well, fine. But it sounds a bit too common for that. I most certainly am not excusing it as I find it disgusting, but it explains why it happens. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/58 "2011-01-25T17:14:37Z")
> [@Paranoid\_Randroid](#): > > 1. Go to a library or another public facility. > > 2. Buy a coffee or pastry and use the café’s restroom. > > 3. Hold it until you reach your destination. Seems like a needlessly complex procedure, but if you say so… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/59 "2011-01-25T17:24:05Z")
> [@Strainger](#): > > Lie in wait with a BB gun. Shoot the offender in the ass when he drops trou. Extra points if you can get him right in the asscrack. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789/60 "2011-01-25T18:03:52Z")
I’d almost forgotten about this, but one time early in my legal career, I had to review a wall of documents in a warehouse that had no bathroom (you can see how important I was to my firm). Whenever I needed to pee, I had to go to the cafe up the block, and they always made me buy a drink. Fortunately, I never had to go #2, because they might have then insisted that I buy a whole meal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-homeless-men-who-defecate-near-my-apartment/568789.md?page=4)