# I pit the microwave at the gas station. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2006, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155 "2006-08-03T05:35:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/1 "2006-08-03T05:35:47Z")
All I wanted was a chicken sandwich. I thought “if only I could warm this up, it would be so much better than if it were cold”. But of course, you only have settings in 15 seconds increments. 45 seconds, and my sandwich is still cold. 1 minute, and its fucking melted. The buns are liquified. I can’t touch it to put on mustard and mayo for 5 minutes. And then, of course, I have to eat it within 3 minutes after that, otherwise its cold again!!! _shakes fist_ Has the DOE inspected the reactor you people use to power that thing? ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/2 "2006-08-03T05:56:57Z")
Open the door when it’s ready. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/3 "2006-08-03T06:24:08Z")
That actually never occurred to me. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/4 "2006-08-03T06:31:42Z")
New Winner! Shortest Pit Thread with Adequate Resolution! ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/5 "2006-08-03T12:58:54Z")
Must be that new Mobil ‘Speed-Pass’ thingy. ---
**Author:** ![Will\_Repair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a698b9/32.png) [@Will\_Repair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Will_Repair)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/6 "2006-08-03T22:59:07Z")
Watch the wrapper. When the wrapper expands and is just about to pop…it’s ready. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/7 "2006-08-03T23:55:02Z")
> [@Will Repair](#): > > Watch the wrapper. > When the wrapper expands and is just about to pop…it’s ready. There is no wrapper. It comes in a little paper baggie. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/8 "2006-08-04T00:01:31Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > That actually never occurred to me. Hee! That is exactly something I would do, sit there growing madder and madder and cursing it and never once think to take it out. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/9 "2006-08-04T02:38:45Z")
I pulled it out today, but it was still too hot! ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/10 "2006-08-04T02:58:30Z")
OK, I was willing to let this die a quiet death, but now that it’s become an ongoing adventure of hunger and self-discovery I have no choice but to banish it to MPSIMS. Begone! ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/11 "2006-08-04T03:01:56Z")
If one more of you motherfuckers posts a Pit about food I’m gonna ram a metaphorical chainsaw up your collective unconscious’ anus. I’m serious here. **STOP IT.** Maybe Cafe Society needs a subforum, I don’t know, but Pits should be directed at human beings whenever possible, not goddamn appliances. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/12 "2006-08-04T03:03:01Z")
I **really** should have previewed. All apologies. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/13 "2006-08-04T03:04:19Z")
You bought a sandwich at a gas station? And microwaved it? I’ll leave it at that. ---
**Author:** ![Spongemom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Spongemom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spongemom)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/14 "2006-08-04T03:13:10Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > I pulled it out today, but it was still too hot! In line with the thread, that post makes sense. All by itself though, it would make a neat sig. Not unlike my Yahoo status message: “Slather that bitch in butter and cheese” All by itself, it provokes fun thoughts and mental images. In context though, it was a boring suppertime conversation about potatoes. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/15 "2006-08-04T06:03:30Z")
> [@Spongemom](#): > > In line with the thread, that post makes sense. > > All by itself though, it would make a neat sig. > > Not unlike my Yahoo status message: “Slather that bitch in butter and cheese” > > All by itself, it provokes fun thoughts and mental images. In context though, it was a boring suppertime conversation about potatoes. I thought it was Paula Deen off-camera. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/16 "2006-08-04T10:14:41Z")
> [@Lamar Mundane](#): > > You bought a sandwich at a gas station? > > And microwaved it? > > I’ll leave it at that. It was a chicken burger! ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-microwave-at-the-gas-station/367155/17 "2006-08-04T13:41:56Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > I pulled it out today, but it was still too hot! [beavis]Heh-heh heh-heh[/beavis] Sooooo… maybe 45 seconds is the right length of heating time, but you need to let it stand a short time to let the heat evenly disperse? Oh, and since this used to be in the Pit but isn’t anymore: poo-poo ka-ka.