# I pit the sumbitch that keyed my car! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 24, 2007, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249 "2007-09-24T01:27:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/1 "2007-09-24T01:27:04Z")
I was at the North Wildwood Irish Festival this weekend, and some fucker scratched up my kar down to the sheetmetal. If I caught the guy in the act, I WOULD’VE SLICED HIS FACE OPEN WITH A KNIFE! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/2 "2007-09-24T01:28:27Z")
[QUOTE=Enola Straight] …scratched up my kar… If I caught the guy in the act, I WOULD’VE SLICED HIS FACE OPEN WITH A KNIFE! [/QUOTE] Don’t you mean a cnife? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/3 "2007-09-24T01:29:51Z")
Too easy on him. Have him pulled apart by tortises. That way you get a longer payback for his crimes. Vandals should be publicly flogged. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/4 "2007-09-24T01:41:38Z")
Stole someone’s parking spot, did you? Slainte! ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/5 "2007-09-24T01:46:23Z")
I’m sorry for what happened to your car. But isn’t it lucky that you did not catch the miscreant responsible? ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/6 "2007-09-24T02:20:17Z")
[QUOTE=PunditLisa] Stole someone’s parking spot, did you? Slainte! [/QUOTE] No. Ordinary spot on the street. Wasn’t blocking anybody’s driveway or nothing. Just some random drunk guy that ran his key down everybody’s car on the block. Factual question: If I report this to the Police (needed to get insurance to pay for the damage) won’t that make my rates go up? ---
**Author:** ![D-bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@D-bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D-bear)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/7 "2007-09-24T03:12:55Z")
Do you have a Bush-Cheney sticker still on your bumper? ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/8 "2007-09-24T03:18:11Z")
[QUOTE=D-bear] Do you have a Bush-Cheney sticker still on your bumper? [/QUOTE] Typical democrat, always blaming the victim. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_Bowe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@Doug\_Bowe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_Bowe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/9 "2007-09-24T03:54:53Z")
Keying a car is the sign of a weak person. That’s all they can do. Having said that…my car was keyed by a jerk that had nothing else to do. He resented the fact that I could hold a job and he didn’t. I gave him money to buy his family food. And he resented that! Anyway, he couldn’t pay his rent and he’s long gone now. If you lend somebody money and you never see that person again, maybe it’s a good deal. But every morning just before driving to work I see that long gash in the side of the car and am reminded that he was (and probably still is) an asshole. Totally with Enola. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/10 "2007-09-24T04:01:04Z")
Keying a car is one of those malicious things, that I feel need a stiff penalty with the crime. A year in jail for each car. ---
**Author:** ![jacquilynne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/11 "2007-09-24T04:34:03Z")
[QUOTE=Enola Straight] Factual question: If I report this to the Police (needed to get insurance to pay for the damage) won’t that make my rates go up? [/QUOTE] It’s making a claim on your insurance that’s going to make your rates go up. Reporting it to the police is incidental. ---
**Author:** ![Incensed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Incensed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incensed)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/12 "2007-09-24T04:36:09Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] Keying a car is one of those malicious things, that I feel need a stiff penalty with the crime. A year in jail for each car. [/QUOTE] Fuck that. I say the perp should be forced to take up ferret legging…handcuffed. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/13 "2007-09-24T04:50:20Z")
[Caning](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_P._Fay) seems to work well in Singapore. (I haven’t noticed any news articles about that same shithead vandalizing cars since then, at any rate.) ---
**Author:** ![Paladud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Paladud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paladud)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/14 "2007-09-24T05:08:42Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] Keying a car is one of those malicious things, that I feel need a stiff penalty with the crime. A year in jail for each car. [/QUOTE] On first reading, I thought you wanted the cars jailed. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/15 "2007-09-24T06:12:09Z")
[QUOTE=Doug Bowe] …If you lend somebody money and you never see that person again, maybe it’s a good deal. [/QUOTE] Sorry for the hijack, but amen to this. Cheapest, simplest way to get the nasty people out of your life is giving them money. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/16 "2007-09-24T09:21:34Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] Keying a car is one of those malicious things, that I feel need a stiff penalty with the crime. A year in jail for each car. [/QUOTE] They should be fucking killed, man. No trial, no jury, straight to execution. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/17 "2007-09-24T10:59:14Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] Keying a car is one of those malicious things, that I feel need a stiff penalty with the crime. A year in jail for each car. [/QUOTE] Wouldn’t it be more effective to incarcerate the offender? ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/18 "2007-09-24T11:02:47Z")
[QUOTE=Priceguy] They should be fucking killed, man. No trial, no jury, straight to execution. [/QUOTE] We’re going to allow exceptions for keying a Lexus that is parked diagonally across four spaces in the first row of the parking lot, right? ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/19 "2007-09-24T11:26:15Z")
[QUOTE=Frank] We’re going to allow exceptions for keying a Lexus that is parked diagonally across four spaces in the first row of the parking lot, right? [/QUOTE] You can do that? Wow, that’s a long car. Yeah, of course there’ll be exceptions. We only execute people we don’t like, to ensure total fairness. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249/20 "2007-09-24T12:30:47Z")
I join in this pitting, my sister’s b/f’s car was vandalised outside the house a few weeks back, some retarded shit eater went down the street kicking wing mirrors off car doors. As a bonus, the next night when the wing mirror was tied back onto the door, someone else, hell, maybe the same dickhead, cut neatly through the twine to let the mirror fall off again :mad: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-sumbitch-that-keyed-my-car/420249.md?page=2)