# I pit the vandals! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 19, 2007, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617 "2007-03-19T19:48:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2007, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/1 "2007-03-19T19:48:45Z")
Not the capital-V, Rome-sacking, major-league Vandals in sandals. Just the bush-league twit or twits who did this to my car: [grrrrr](http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinfeatherphotos/427022697/) Happy Saint Paddy’s Day! I can’t really muster the outrage for a traditional pitting. But in the immortal words of Robin Williams, _“Assholes do vex me!”_ Whoever did this doesn’t own a car. Anyone who’s ever personally paid to repair car damage knows what waste, expense, and pain in the ass it is, and would inflict it only out of rage or calculated revenge. I am an inoffensive neighbor. I pick up after my dogs. I don’t play loud music. My car doesn’t have any bumper stickers, vanity plates, political declarations of any kind. It blends in…except that it’s green. Well, blue-green, according to Saturn’s literature. Was this St. Pat’s-themed vandalism? The smashing o’ the green? Whatever. Cleaning up the broken glass in the street (I told you I was a good neighbor) and using my homeland security anti-terror plastic sheeting roll to do this: [all better?](http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinfeatherphotos/427033958/) cost me two hours of my life that I’ll never get back, and I have more time and money coming out for the permanent repairs. Money I don’t have right now. We’re at a financial low point right now. Temporary, but very real. Although the pissants who did this will never read this, here goes: Some Vandals you are. You couldn’t sack groceries, let alone Rome! An elderly Italian shopkeeper with a broom would drive you like chaff before the wind. The goths would kick your tails – not the Ostrogoths or the Visigoths, but high school girls in dark eyeshadow. This car was the farthest one from the building – the easiest one to hit and flee without consequences. Real Vandals made war on the Roman Empire! Some day when you’ve grown up, you’ll probably look back and feel a little twinge about this. Well, it’s a damn big twinge I’m feeling right now, you losers, and I never did a thing to you. I’m not The Man. I don’t even like The Man. I used the last of my bread to make a single sandwich this morning, and I don’t get paid again until Wednesday. I hope when you grow up you meet someone like [Belisarius](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Ticameron). :mad: Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/2 "2007-03-19T20:06:13Z")
That sucks man. Will your insurance not cover this? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/3 "2007-03-19T21:31:40Z")
[QUOTE=Sailboat] I hope when you grow up you meet someone like [Belisarius](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Ticameron). :mad: Sailboat [/QUOTE] So swear you, by the name of Saturn…! The miserable drunken bastards probably read the word ‘Maroon’ on the back of your SL2 and thought it was insulting them. That, or they tried to test the impact-resistant side door panels and missed. Either way, may insurance cover most of it, good fortune cover the rest of it, and good humor last you the rest of your days. (The good toasted almond ones; not the cheesy stawberry short-cakes.) Don’t worry about the people who did this; jail waits for them soon enough. So far they’ve only damaged your car. Don’t let them take your pride too. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/4 "2007-03-20T00:59:39Z")
May their pants fall down in public. May their testicles rot and drop off. May their lives never expand beyond beer and the local 7-11. May baldness and bad breath follow them all the days of their lives. May they never know the love of a good woman, the taste of a fine wine, or the pleasure of being a better person than you. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/5 "2007-03-20T01:18:40Z")
Comprehensive insurance should cover that if you have it with no penalty to you (at least it does here). ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/6 "2007-03-20T01:46:08Z")
I was sure this was a football thread. ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/7 "2007-03-20T02:00:21Z")
Admittitly, I can see where in the dark your car could’ve been mistaken for Oliver Cromwell. ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/8 "2007-03-20T02:13:20Z")
Damn that stinks. I see you have VA tags. I am from Richmond. ---
**Author:** ![Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Long_Time_Lurker)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/9 "2007-03-20T03:59:49Z")
Should I feel bad for laughing at the picture caption? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/10 "2007-03-20T04:41:25Z")
[QUOTE=Sailboat] Whoever did this doesn’t own a car. [/QUOTE] This does not follow. Vandals are only concerned about their property, not yours. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/11 "2007-03-20T04:53:14Z")
_The pump won’t work 'cause the vandals took the handles_~~Bob Dylan ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/12 "2007-03-20T05:16:43Z")
[QUOTE=Sailboat] Some Vandals you are. You couldn’t sack groceries, let alone Rome! An elderly Italian shopkeeper with a broom would drive you like chaff before the wind. The goths would kick your tails – not the Ostrogoths or the Visigoths, but high school girls in dark eyeshadow. I hope when you grow up you meet someone like [Belisarius](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Ticameron). :mad: [/QUOTE] 👏 👏 👏 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/13 "2007-03-20T05:42:20Z")
You have my deepest sympathy, **Sailboat**. Our cars have been hit-and-run three times on the street in the last four years. Assholes. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/14 "2007-03-20T07:48:41Z")
If it’s any consolation, your pet photos are really good. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/15 "2007-03-20T14:24:10Z")
A good rant, and with classical references too! I give it an 8.0 on the Ranter Scale. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/16 "2007-03-20T15:10:24Z")
[QUOTE=Malodorous] Admittitly, I can see where in the dark your car could’ve been mistaken for Oliver Cromwell. [/QUOTE] Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England? Born in 1599, died in 1658 (September)? **Sailboat** , the situation really sucks, but I am in awe of your ability to reference Roman conquest and barbarian hordes in a rant about car damage. You did make a police report, right? Your insurance agent may require one if you decide to make a claim. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/17 "2007-03-20T16:33:22Z")
I feel your pain man. I had my car broken into so they could steal a tail light, glove box and radio. But, they were too fucking stupid to try to open the door before they drilled the locks. Yeah, they drilled out an unlocked door. Pricks. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/18 "2007-03-20T18:02:51Z")
Sailboat, I reread my post today. In hindsight, I don’t think that I gave you the empathy that you deserved for responding in a funny and educated manner while being the victim of a crime. Of course you have a right to your anger and those responsible should be (and no doubt eventually will) held accountable. A Very good rant. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/19 "2007-03-20T18:43:34Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] Comprehensive insurance should cover that if you have it with no penalty to you (at least it does here). [/QUOTE] **Sailboat** will only have to pay the deductible, which could be as much as $500. Still, he can console himself in the fact that the $350 he’s paying now, he’d have paid twice over if he had no deductible. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617/20 "2007-03-20T20:02:54Z")
Pay $500 out of your own pocket just because someone else is an asshole, and see how bright that makes _your_ day. I know it really didn’t make ours. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the-vandals/396617.md?page=2)