# I pit The\_Broken\_Column **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 16, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544 "2004-02-16T20:49:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/1 "2004-02-16T20:49:32Z")
If you don’t know who I’m talking about, go over to GD. He’s all over it. It isn’t his circular arguments or his irritating habit of making a claim and backing it up with, “all of recorded human history demonstrates whatever I just said”. It isn’t his slightly creepy signature line. It isn’t the fact that he makes assumptions which nobody else finds even slightly likely and expects them to be accepted as fact. It’s the way he posts like this. He (or she, possibly, but we’ll go with he) double-spaces every single goddamn line. I’m not grading your work, dipshit. I’m not printing it and making notes. I’m just trying to scroll down the fucking page without wearing out my trackball. Stop it. Post like a normal person- resist the enter key. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/2 "2004-02-16T22:41:41Z")
Now, now. Even if he did post like a normal person, the content would still give the game away instantly. Anyway, at first I was gonna say that that one line/double space thing drives me batty as well. Except, it turns out the thundering, pompous idiocy of his various pronouncements drove me batty first. For example, when he announced that ‘liberal’ and ‘hypocrit(e)’ were exactly the same thing. So now I just pay him no mind. On the other hand, look at how much more _important_ everything I write seems to be when I double-space every frickin’ worthless line. ---
**Author:** ![wakimika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f08c70/32.png) [@wakimika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wakimika)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/3 "2004-02-16T23:24:27Z")
**The\_Broken\_Column** ’s posts contain too many inarticulated gyrogorphotors. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/4 "2004-02-17T00:19:07Z")
> [@wakimika](#): > > **The\_Broken\_Column** ’s posts contain too many inarticulated gyrogorphotors. And not enough _articulated_ gyrogorphotors. ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/5 "2004-02-17T01:04:53Z")
**The\_Broken\_Column** is the first person I’ve met who officially qualifies as “dumber than a sack of hammers.” I don’t even know how dumb a sack of hammers is, but it has to be smarter than this guy! And his sig is really annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/6 "2004-02-17T01:58:49Z")
Here’s a good one: > [@](#): > > Most girls who are having a hard time in relationships are usually abused by their step-fathers, or do not live with their natural father. Too bad the [size] tag doesn’t work on the ‘rolleyes’ smilie. I liked the abortionists = nazi allegation. I’m pro-life but I respect pro-choicers who don’t believe fetus = person. **dutchboy208** , I think you’re getting your panties in a wad for no good reason. I don’t understand what the problem is. Everyone knows this. If you need some sources, I might go find some later. I think **The\_Broken\_Column** will be around for a long time. I do. ---
**Author:** ![WernhamHogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a587f6/32.png) [@WernhamHogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WernhamHogg)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/7 "2004-02-17T02:09:38Z")
I like the one where he says liberals are hypocrites because they want the freedom to do whatever they want but they don’t want anyone infringing on their freedoms. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/8 "2004-02-17T02:11:43Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > **dutchboy208** , I think you’re getting your panties in a wad for no good reason. Shhh… _I’m not wearing any_. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Love](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Dr.Love](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Love)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/9 "2004-02-17T02:32:43Z")
Can anyone explain what this means: > [@The\_Broken\_Column](#): > > Yes, I know, but it is difficult dealing with Hypocrits (Liberals). > > They always are hypocritical, they want the freedom to do whatever they want, but they don’t want to have their freedoms infringed by others. Is there a legitimate point anywhere, or is it something like this: “Those capitalists are hypocritical, they want the money they make, but they don’t want anyone to steal it from them!” That’s about the best I can come up with. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/10 "2004-02-17T02:44:43Z")
> [@Dr. Love](#): > > Can anyone explain what this means: > > Is there a legitimate point anywhere, or is it something like this: > “Those capitalists are hypocritical, they want the money they make, but they don’t want anyone to steal it from them!” > That’s about the best I can come up with. The best I could come up with is that he meant “liberals want the freedom to do whatever they want, but don’t want anyone else to have the freedom to do whatever _they_ want because it might infringe their own freedom.” I’m just guessing, mind you. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/11 "2004-02-17T02:47:05Z")
Mind you, in college I was the designated “stoned to stoned” translator. 😛 One friend would say something, another would look blank, I’d repeat the statement **word for word** , and the second guy would say “Ooooooh, yeah. Now it makes sense.” ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/12 "2004-02-17T07:07:08Z")
He/she’s been MIA for a bit though: wha happen?! ---
**Author:** ![leenmi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f1d935/32.png) [@leenmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leenmi)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/13 "2004-02-17T07:25:29Z")
> [@](#): > > A weeping virgin reading a book upon the broken column, while time uncurls the ringlets in her hair. His sig line. It was killing me. Everyone was talking about it but no one posted a link. So, to save the hamsters, I post it here. And it is kinda creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/14 "2004-02-17T08:02:32Z")
> [@Apos](#): > > He/she’s been MIA for a bit though: wha happen?! He/she/it posted only [about an hour ago](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4553813#post4553813). ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/15 "2004-02-17T08:36:10Z")
> [@leenmi](#): > > His sig line. It was killing me. Everyone was talking about it but no one posted a link. So, to save the hamsters, I post it here. > > And it is kinda creepy. Does anyone know what it’s from? The Necronomicon, I should imagine… \ I don’t want to read about your fucking weeping virgins. I don’t even want to read about weeping sluts. Oh no… I’m doing it too! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/16 "2004-02-17T10:53:28Z")
> [@dutchboy208](#): > > Does anyone know what it’s from? > > The Necronomicon, I should imagine… \ Much more mundane than that. It’s just the masons. You can see a picture here: [http://www.phoenixmasonry.org/broken\_column.htm](http://www.phoenixmasonry.org/broken_column.htm) He’s actually trying to do some kind of masonic witnessing in his GD OP [Is Freemasonry a Cult?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=239765) In the OP, he says: > [@The\_Broken\_Column](#): > > I am just curious is Freemasonry a cult? Or is it a benevolent organization for old geezers? Which is an obvious lie (the “I am just curious” part), coz he goes on in later posts to say shit like: > [@The\_Broken\_Column](#): > > To clarify, the reason I state that there are technically only 3 degrees in Masonry, is because, there are. > > The 32nd-33rd degrees are the last degrees apart of the Scottish Rite, which is an apendant body you must be a Mason to join. > > The reason the 4th degree is seperated from all the rest of the apendant bodies (the 4th is apart of York or Scottish Rites), is because it actually used to be taught to Masons, and not as a part of another group. It was altered when things went public back in 1717. > > To further emphasize this point, the Duke of Kent I believe is the current Grand Master in England, and he is only a 3rd degree Mason. > > Calling someone a 32nd Degree Mason is just saying someone’s in the Scottish rite as well. If he were at the 13th degree of the York Rite he’d be a Templar. Yeah. Just curious, dunno anything about this stuff, really. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/17 "2004-02-17T11:27:20Z")
> [@look!ninjas](#): > > **The\_Broken\_Column** is the first person I’ve met who officially qualifies as “dumber than a sack of hammers.”. That’s an insult to hammers. It truly is. I’d say “More useless than a box of hair” but a talented wigmaker could probably make something out of a box of hair. “Not as sharp as a bag of wet mice” might work. Oh wait, I got it! The\_Broken\_Column: Not as bright as the light in your toaster oven. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/18 "2004-02-17T14:07:16Z")
I don’t have anything clever to say, I just hate **The\_Broken\_Column**. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/19 "2004-02-17T14:35:42Z")
> [@TeaElle](#): > > That’s an insult to hammers. It truly is. I’d say “More useless than a box of hair” but a talented wigmaker could probably make something out of a box of hair. “Not as sharp as a bag of wet mice” might work. Oh wait, I got it! > > The\_Broken\_Column: Not as bright as the light in your toaster oven. Unfortunately it’s not original to me, but I’ve always rather fancied “About as sharp as a sack of billiard balls”. ---
**Author:** ![SentientMeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544/20 "2004-02-17T15:43:37Z")
This fellow is undoubtedly one park-and-ride scheme short of an integrated transport system. But give him time, he may learn. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-the_broken_column/229544.md?page=2)