# I Pit Those Who Think Quoting Passes for Wit. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 29, 2005, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711 "2005-04-29T14:15:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e95f7d/32.png) [@holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/holmes)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/41 "2005-04-29T16:19:13Z")
Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids. –breakfast this morning. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/42 "2005-04-29T16:26:19Z")
Well spin my nipple-nuts and send me to Alaska! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/43 "2005-04-29T16:37:56Z")
Or the Roxanne version, care of IMDB quotes page C.D. Bales: [challenged to think of twenty jokes better than “Big Nose”] Let’s start with… Obvious: 'scuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorological: everybody take cover, she’s going to blow! Fashionable: you know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like… Wyoming. Personal: well, here we are, just the three of us. Punctual: all right, Delbman, your nose was on time but YOU were fifteen minutes late! Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear! Naughty: uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn’t mind putting that thing away. Philosophical: you know, it’s not the size of a nose that’s important, it’s what’s IN IT that matters. Humorous: laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it’s goodbye, Seattle! Commercial: hi, I’m Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95! Polite: uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic: Everybody. He’s got… Everyone: [singing] The whole world in his nose! C.D. Bales: Sympathetic: aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God? Complimentary: you must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides? Obscure: whoa! I’d hate to see the grindstone. Well, think about it. Inquiring: when you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid? French: saihr, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave! Pornographic: finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once! How many is that? Dean: Fourteen, Chief! C.D. Bales: Religious: the Lord giveth… and He just kept on giving, didn’t he? Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair? Paranoid: keep that guy away from my cocaine! Aromatic: it must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee… in Brazil. Appreciative: Oooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped. [he pauses, pretending to be stumped, while the crowd urges him on] C.D. Bales: All right. Dirty: your name wouldn’t be Dick, would it? ---
**Author:** ![guinnog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@guinnog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guinnog)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/44 "2005-04-29T16:43:31Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > Or the Roxanne version, care of IMDB quotes page > > C.D. Bales: [challenged to think of twenty jokes better than “Big Nose”] Let’s start with… Obvious: 'scuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorological: everybody take cover, she’s going to blow! Fashionable: you know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like… Wyoming. Personal: well, here we are, just the three of us. Punctual: all right, Delbman, your nose was on time but YOU were fifteen minutes late! Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear! Naughty: uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn’t mind putting that thing away. Philosophical: you know, it’s not the size of a nose that’s important, it’s what’s IN IT that matters. Humorous: laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it’s goodbye, Seattle! Commercial: hi, I’m Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95! Polite: uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic: Everybody. He’s got… > Everyone: [singing] The whole world in his nose! > C.D. Bales: Sympathetic: aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God? Complimentary: you must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides? Obscure: whoa! I’d hate to see the grindstone. Well, think about it. Inquiring: when you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid? French: saihr, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave! Pornographic: finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once! How many is that? > Dean: Fourteen, Chief! > C.D. Bales: Religious: the Lord giveth… and He just kept on giving, didn’t he? Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair? Paranoid: keep that guy away from my cocaine! Aromatic: it must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee… in Brazil. Appreciative: Oooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped. > [he pauses, pretending to be stumped, while the crowd urges him on] > C.D. Bales: All right. Dirty: your name wouldn’t be Dick, would it? This was the funniest moment of perhaps the funniest film ever made. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/45 "2005-04-29T16:49:38Z")
I wish I had seen **Roxanne**. It sounds like a clever movie. Maybe I’ll rent it this weekend. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/46 "2005-04-29T16:50:52Z")
Shut The Fuck Up Donnie! ---
**Author:** ![quietman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/958977/32.png) [@quietman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quietman)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/47 "2005-04-29T17:04:07Z")
“How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child!” - _King Lear_ “The yoke a man creates for himself by wrong-doing will breed hate in the kindliest nature.” -George Elliott, _Silas Marner_ “Sadly, sadly, the sun rose; it rose upon no sadder sight than the man of good abilities and good emotions, incapable of their directed exercise, incapable of his own help and his own happiness, sensible of the blight on him, and resigning him-self to let it eat him away.” - Charles Dickens, _A Tale of Two Cities_ "Enjoy the honey-heavy dew of slumber . . . " -_Julius Caesar_ “The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have saved my life.” - _King Henry the Fourth, Part I_ ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/48 "2005-04-29T17:09:43Z")
“Suck my fat one, you cheap dimestore hood.” Stephen King ---
**Author:** ![quietman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/958977/32.png) [@quietman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quietman)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/49 "2005-04-29T17:09:48Z")
If there is still a candle standing or lit in your room, extinguish it now for the safety of all. -Chicago Fire Department ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/50 "2005-04-29T17:13:02Z")
Oh! Irony. We don’t get that here. ---
**Author:** ![audreyayn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@audreyayn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audreyayn)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/51 "2005-04-29T18:05:18Z")
If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college… ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/52 "2005-04-29T18:22:29Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Oh! Irony. We don’t get that here. Oh, but jokes! We get jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/53 "2005-04-29T18:49:58Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Oh! Irony. We don’t get that here. Is that like coppery and bronzy? ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/54 "2005-04-29T19:02:09Z")
I would rather go back to calling you Mrs S.C.U.M, Mrs S.C.U.M. I was thinking of taking the ice cream. In all seriousness, I love the Mr Neutron sketch, and I never hear it quoted by other Pythoniacs. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/55 "2005-04-29T19:03:10Z")
When 900 years old you reach, think this humor is funny too you will, mmmmm? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/56 "2005-04-29T19:30:40Z")
Oohhh, my ovaries! ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/57 "2005-04-29T19:33:00Z")
I’m Squishing Your Head!!! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/58 "2005-04-29T20:15:21Z")
“A facility for quotation covers the abscence of original thought.” - Dorothy Sayers ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/59 "2005-04-29T20:47:15Z")
Darmok and Jilad at Tinagra. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711/60 "2005-04-29T21:31:47Z")
Well, Scumpup, I’m glad you opened this Pit thread because now I can comfortably say what I wanted to in the 1938 Superman thread but hesitated to: You’re acting like an asshole and that thread would be better off if you stopped contributing to it and it was left to those whose interest in the subject matter is a bit more grounded in not being a prick about it. And Roy Thomas is an excellent writer, _All-Star Squadron_ rocked (well, the first 60 or so issues) and you’re a dickhead. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-those-who-think-quoting-passes-for-wit/301711.md?page=4)