# I pit urethra stuffers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 4, 2009, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237 "2009-11-04T01:38:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/101 "2009-11-05T14:34:03Z")
> [@L. G. Butts](#): > > So **Qadgop** , what kind of contraband? I just have to know. Tobacco, shanks, drugs, and for reasons not adequately explained, a whistle. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/102 "2009-11-05T14:37:50Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > Well **Qadgop** , just be glad you don’t have to deal with patient families. Oh, we have moms call in a lot. Some have even managed to get my direct number. Yeah, I don’t want to think about the chronically constipated and bowel-obsessed. Fortunately, getting our population off narcotics gets rid of a lot of bowel issues. Not all, but a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/103 "2009-11-05T15:08:01Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > This daughter also thinks we aren’t giving mom enough oxycontin. Or benzos.) > > Families take note! Nurses appreciate when you express interest in your loved one’s care. But when you start to have more invested in when the patient shit last than the patient herself does…thats sends our “family weirdness” metre pinging. The comment about opiates and benzos also makes me wonder if the daughter is perhaps taking advantage of mom’s problems for her own amusement and/or profit. It’s a horrible thought, but there ARE people out there who will exploit a person with health problems or a handicap for selfish reasons, not limited to obtaining opiates for getting high or selling at a profit, but I’ve also seem relatives of diabetics sell syringes (in one case, forcing the diabetic to re-use old syringes while selling the new ones) or relatives of disabled people getting all manner of items/drugs for selling. Sad, very sad. Particularly when they steal from someone’s needed medication, leaving them in in pain and suffering. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/104 "2009-11-05T16:43:44Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Tobacco, shanks, drugs, and for reasons not adequately explained, a whistle. Bah- that cracks me up 😛 Oh man… that’s great… You’ve always been one of my favs, **QtM** , and I was bummed when you stopped posting your stories, but I totally understand now. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/105 "2009-11-05T17:00:28Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Several years ago I received a set of medical sounds as a gift…It turns out they don’t make them long enough to be used on my partner, even if we really wanted to . . . I also own a set of sounds, so I know that you’re just using this as an excuse to brag. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/106 "2009-11-05T18:04:07Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > …and for reasons not adequately explained, a whistle. Clearly for blow jobs. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/107 "2009-11-05T18:06:47Z")
I’m afraid to google medical sounds because I think they will have pictures and illustrations and other fearsome things. Can somebody please tell me simply what medical sounds are and what they are used for? Without traumatizing me. Please. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/108 "2009-11-05T18:08:39Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Tobacco, shanks, drugs, and for reasons not adequately explained, a whistle. Did you really WANT him to explain the whistle? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/109 "2009-11-05T19:01:23Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Clearly for blow jobs. Ow. I just aspirated some soda. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/110 "2009-11-05T19:03:51Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I’m afraid to google medical sounds because I think they will have pictures and illustrations and other fearsome things. Can somebody please tell me simply what medical sounds are and what they are used for? Without traumatizing me. Please. They’re thin metal instruments, designed to be inserted into the urethra to check for blockages, remove blockages, or stretch it out if there’s a constriction. A doctor can even probe into the bladder with one. That’s the medical use. Some people use these tools to do that for… “recreational purposes.” ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/111 "2009-11-05T19:06:38Z")
This thread needs an appropriate Hank Hill Narrow urethra joke, but I’m not funny enough to come up with one. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/112 "2009-11-05T19:22:37Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I’ve had guys with penile mods, yes. None of the ‘flayed open along the urethra’ sort of mods, but go ahead and check this thread out, if you like: [My patient's bizarre penis - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=273825) > > We generally make the guys take their penile rings, posts, etc. out. But if they’ve got stuff implanted under the skin, which can’t be removed without surgery we generally don’t bother. This thread is definitely high on the gross-entertainment scale, but I think the old bagel-dog is still number one for me among \*\*QtM \*\*threads. You are a credit to the medical profession every time you get one of these patients and don’t just walk away from the job forever. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/113 "2009-11-05T19:27:24Z")
> [@Saltire](#): > > This thread is definitely high on the gross-entertainment scale, but I think the old bagel-dog is still number one for me among \*\*QtM \*\*threads. > > You are a credit to the medical profession every time you get one of these patients and don’t just walk away from the job forever. I’m almost afraid to ask. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/114 "2009-11-05T19:32:12Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I’m almost afraid to ask. It’s the link in the above-quoted post. Horrifying but classic. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/115 "2009-11-05T19:35:34Z")
I went to school with a kid that would stuff bb’s up his willie. Until he was masturbating one day and shot the cat. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/116 "2009-11-05T19:46:18Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > It’s the link in the above-quoted post. Horrifying but classic. Oh my … 😃 :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/117 "2009-11-05T22:30:01Z")
😃 I \<3 this thread. It is hysterical. A whistle, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/118 "2009-11-05T22:37:12Z")
One of the patients who stand out (so to speak) in my memory is the trucker whose buddies dared him to place a lug nut from a wheel around his penis. Y’all can guess what happened, right? 😉 Q ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/119 "2009-11-05T22:43:49Z")
[QUOTE=Quasimodem] One of the patients who stand out (so to speak) in my memory is the trucker whose buddies dared him to place a lug nut from a wheel around his penis. Y’all can guess what happened, right? 😉 [/QUOTE] His buddies all laughed because his penis was so skinny that a lug nut would fit arond it? [QUOTE=Panurge] and for the shock value: Do _not_ search for “bme pain olympics” - it makes the urethra stuffing look like child’s play. [/QUOTE] Even better - just don’t google anything with “bme” - there’s some seriously weird stuff there. Not long ago, I accidentally ran into a tale of someone who decided five toes per foot was too many and they’d apparently rather have hooves, so they removed bones and split their foot lenthwise. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237/120 "2009-11-05T23:00:56Z")
My father worked for two pickle companies over the course of his life. He once told me about a guy who was fired for putting his dick in the pickle slicer. They fired the pickle slicer too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-urethra-stuffers/516237.md?page=7)